We have a home and home between the Vancouver Whalers and the Detroit Falcons, which cuts into my word count a bit, but don't worry, Media Grader, I will make sure to put enough nonsense in this post that you will probably charge me for reading it. Which is fine. That's cool. Just hit me with some notes, yeah? Not grammar notes though, if my ivy-league trained professors couldn't figure out how to make me a competent fake journalist in a simulation league that has changed my life for the better I don't think you can. Unless you can explain gerunds to me, and how to properly use a semi-colon, or like when to use a hyphen to connect words because-like sometimes I do it at random. Also, I don't know how to not do run-on sentences because I read Hemingway one time and I think stream of consciousness is the bee's knees. And my Grammarly subscription is running out so my typos are about to get a lot worse. Better buckle up, buttercup.

Because the Vancouver Whalers have taken he first game three to nothing, that is right, dicks out for the shutout, and also rest in peace that keyboard who's soul is guiding us to the play-offs. I am giving the Whale of O'Tale award to the new kid, Hopscotch because they have been scoring and assisting left and right. Their beginning in the Simulated Major Junior Hockey League will be the stuff of legends before long, and I say that with my many days of experience on the job. 

Now, let us get down to the nitty-gritty that is Luffy Richard's stat line this game. As is tradition, the Vancouver Whalers won, so Luffy Richard did not score. But, he did contribute in other ways. For instance, Luffy Richard had two blocked shots and three hits, which tied him for second in hits this game behind the slimiest of snails, the Sultan of Salt, the defenseman of all Whales, Slimey snail, who had four, and with Lonnie O'Donoghue who also smashed three players into scrambled eggs. And Luffy Richard also won the one face-off he took. But he also had an abominable giveaway. We would shame him for such a thing, but he told me to point out that this is his first give away since his fifth-grade raffle where he sold tickets for the possibility to win his starship Enterprise which he had broken the week before trying to stop the Borg from eating his homework. 

The next game did not go as well, but not too too bad for the Whalers, in that they lost two to one. But, as is tradition, Luffy Richard scored a goal! He also got three whales for his effort which means I should probably give him the Whale of O'Tale award, but if I do I will never hear the end of it back at home. Seriously guys, he still holds it over my hand that he beat me for perfect attendance our freshman year of highschool. This is a real catch-22.

Moving on!

Luffy Richard, as I've stated in words that proceeded these words, scored a goal. What he also did was put together a complete game. He blocked shots, finished his checks, and took away the puck (once) from the opposing team. He also took another penalty, but apparently he loves sitting in the penalty box as much as he likes killing penalties. 

This is the Luffy Richard the Vancouver Whalers and Toronto North Stars want to see, and I believe it is the Luffy Richard they shall be getting. 

Until next time, true believers, 

Keyboard Warrior

out.