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*fishy* · 08-07-2019, 08:46 PM

Good to be graded. Idk if that double media bonus this week is still ongoing and if not, first article bonus! (782 words)
Posted in the wrong place last week, my bad pls ignore the other post.

It was the night of August 1st. Surrounded by Gypsies, Brits, and Czechs at the local pub known as the Garrison, Aron Hernadivic was being berated by his fellow comrades for constantly being on his phone. Little did they know his life was about to change…

Looking and talking to Hernadivic, you would never guess he was a highly regarded junior prospect coming out of Horni Plana, Czech Republic. 5’10, 180 pounds soaking wet, he looks like just another young, average brown-haired male claiming to be 6 foot. Watching him on the ice however… not much changes. Stickhandling? Meh. Shooting? Certainly no AM34. Fighting? LOL its Phil Kessel vs. John Scott reincarnated. Watching this guy pass however is like something no citizens of Horni Plana had seen before. With supernatural vision, Hernadivic is able to pick out passes other players only dream of attempting. Back-door tap-ins, Erik Karlsson like full-ice sauces to a breaking forward, and so much more. Hernadivic has every pass in the book in his repertoire to the delight of his fellow rookies and future teammates. Why did he want to become such a playmaker though? Let’s dig deep into his past.

Aron Hernadivic was born in Bristol, Connecticut to two American parents, one infamous and one nobody knows. His father, who was noted to have a consistently tight end, was also the father of famous football player Aaron Hernandez, formerly of the New England Patriots and the Florida Gators (real talk go gators). Growing up in a dysfunctional household, nobody really remembered Aron was around. This culminated when the Hernandez family visited Lake Compounce, a family fun park in the city. Little 3 year old Aron snuck off to ride the teacups, and while his family was arguing/beating each other/doing whatever dysfunctional families do, a nice, old lady whisked Aron away with the promises of fabulous adventures and unlimited Turkish delight. Little did Aron know, he was now caught in the middle of a worldwide human trafficking system. This old lady, known as Greta by her handlers, had a couple interested in the town of Horni Plana, Czech Republic. Wanting to be nice parents, they let little Aron pick his own name. Armed with the only two words he knew, little Aron said “Aaron Hernandez”. Not wanting to raise suspicion, they added the “ivic” and slightly misspelled both his first and last names.
As a young boy, Aron did not have much to do. While not in school, Aron spent the days often playing NHL 2004 on his PlayStation 2, where slick, backdoor passes were what the kids consider “OP”, and “cheese”. This had a profound impact on little Aron, who began to adjust his play to be more like the best passers in the show, such as Henrik Sedin, Nicklas Backstrom, and Martin St. Louis. As he aged, Hernadivic continued to develop his average boy frame into an average teenage boy frame, culminating with his growth spurt sputtering out when he reached the whopping height of 5’10”. Eventually, with much travel, he was noticed by Bill Cruthers, a random private school in Ontario somewhere. Unable to speak much English, Hernadivic let his play do the talking, leading this league of privileged, white private school kids in assists and points throughout his high school career. Scouts of the prestigious SMJHL would attend games frequently, wanting to get a glimpse of this kid saucing back-door cheese on a nightly basis. Scouts were a little hesitant though. Research had uncovered this kid’s traumatic past, an inability to connect to teammates off the ice, and little ability to speak English… leading us to this night at the Garrison.

Watching Twitch live on his iPhone 4s, Aron was having concerns over his draft position. Fellow Czechian, CoA, told Aron not to be worried, and gave him a promise that if he slipped, he would take him under his wing. Aron didn’t want to slip though, and had high hopes of going early in the draft. He knew he had bombed some interviews with some franchises, but thought he had done well in others, especially St. Louis. They had taken immediate interest in Aron after he introduced himself by saying, “Hello, I’m Aron. Nice to meet you all but first things first, **** *******”. This lead to a night of nerves and some serious consumption of alcohol. While slamming back his 8th pink whitney since the draft started, Aron heard his name be called as the final pick in the second round, 20th overall, to the winningest franchise in recent SMJHL history, with the nicest jerseys and logo in the league, the St. Louis Scarecrows. Celebrating with his pals the rest of the night, Aron tried with all his might to continue having fun with his buddies, but every time he opened his mouth, all he could say was....

”fuck Detroit”.

**esilverm** · 08-07-2019, 08:48 PM

Go Crows!!!

Pass Forfeit (D) ● Player Profile
Kraken

Special thanks to Blitz, jhockey, Ragnarr, and sulo for the gorgeous sigs <3

[Image: DG0jZcS.png]

Huck24 · 08-08-2019, 05:05 AM

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