"Bring back Pingy Pingu Lunga Gumba esq. And I mean bring him all the way back. I want every thread on this forum that involves even a modicum of salt to get razed to the ground by our most notorious shitposting penguin. I want every thunderdome to drown in ABAGABA spam and a signature that doesn't end. I want the userbase of this fine league to cower in terror, slinking about the forums and making as little noise as possible for fear of attracting the Shitpost Slenderman. When some poor immigrant from the NFL sim blunders into the forum and makes an angry post about how his player slipped to the early second round despite having done ALL the rookie tasks(!), let the veteran survivalists stare in horror and pity while the newbie rages. They will know it is only a matter of time before @Pingy Pingu descends upon his post like a ravening wolf and obliterates his tread, reducing it to a radioactive waste-dump of unintelligible spam. They will not interfere, for Pingy is our immune system. Because he can take it. Our Dark Knight of Shitposting"

Sig credit to @WannabeFinn @JSS @Mordaciious @Mayuu @TommySalami
                                              Falcons banner credit to @karey

Credit: Ragnar

 


Levin Schattenaxt | RW | GFG | Switzerland | Peak TPE : 235
Height : 5" 10' | Weight : 171 lbs
Birthplace : Pratteln, SWI | Age : 17
Player Type : Counterattacking Forward | Jersey Number : #17


       

---

Jannik Nordstern (Retired) | RD | EDM/SFP/LAP | NLB | Switzerland | Peak TPE : 652
Height : 6" 3' | Weight : 218 lbs
Birthplace : Basel, SWI | Age : 27
Player Type : Shutdown Defenseman | Jersey Number : #71



Markus Tegernako (Retired) | G | Minnesota Monarchs | LBL/NLB | Switzerland | Peak TPE : 2014
Height : 6' 1" | Weight : 200 lbs
Birthplace : Köniz, SWI | Age : 31
Player Type : Hybrid Goalie | Jersey Number : #42
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SMJHL Regular Season Career Statistics :
S49 | LBL | GP : 24 (14-8-1) | SV% : .896 | GAA : 3.02 | SO : 0
S50 | LBL | GP : 46 (23-19-2) | SV% : .885 | GAA : 2.83 | SO : 2
S51 | LBL | GP : 39 (18-17-4) | SV% : .885 | GAA : 2.76 | SO : 0
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SMJHL Playoffs Career Statistics :
S49 | LBL | GP : 11 (6-5-0) | SV% : .907 | GAA : 2.46 | SO : 2
S50 | LBL | GP : 5 (1-4-0) | SV% : .879 | GAA : 4.42 | SO : 0
S51 | LBL | GP : 6 (2-2-2) | SV% : .877 | GAA : 2.94 | SO : 0
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SHL Regular Season Career Statistics :
S51 | MIN | GP : 6 (1-3-1) | SV% : .881 | GAA : 3.92 | SO : 0
S52 | MIN | GP : 44 (18-21-5) | SV% : .910 | GAA : 2.86 | SO : 2
S53 | MIN | GP : 44 (11-29-4) | SV% : .915 | GAA : 3.39 | SO : 1
S54 | MIN | GP : 44 (12-30-2) | SV% : .916 | GAA : 4.13 | SO : 1
S55 | MIN | GP : 44 (11-33-0) | SV% : .925 | GAA : 3.67 | SO : 2
S56 | MIN | GP : 44 (14-28-2) | SV% : .910 | GAA : 3.30 | SO : 0
S57 | MIN | GP : 56 (20-31-3) | SV% : .914 | GAA : 3.17 | SO : 3
S58 | MIN | GP : 55 (20-28-6) | SV% : .917 | GAA : 3.09 | SO : 3
S59 | MIN | GP : 56 (27-25-2) | SV% : .921 | GAA : 3.10 | SO : 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IIHF Career Statistics :
S49 | SWI | GP : 3 (1-2-0) | SV% : .863 | GAA : 3.67 | SO : 0
S50 | SWI | GP : 2 (0-1-0) | SV% : .863 | GAA : 5.16 | SO : 0
S51 | SWI | GP : 3 (1-1-1) | SV% : .920 | GAA : 2.67 | SO : 0
S52 | SWI | GP : 5 (0-3-0) | SV% : .802 | GAA : 6.87 | SO : 0
S53 | SWI | GP : 4 (1-3-0) | SV% : .942 | GAA : 2.26 | SO : 1
S54 | SWI | GP : 3 (0-3-0) | SV% : .891 | GAA : 4.36 | SO : 0
S55 | SWI | GP : 2 (1-1-0) | SV% : .924 | GAA : 3.00 | SO : 0
S56 | SWI | GP : 12 (7-4-1) | SV% : .916 | GAA : 3.44 | SO : 0
S57 | SWI | GP : 7 (2-4-1) | SV% : .850 | GAA : 4.40 | SO : 1
S58 | SWI | GP : 7 (3-4-0) | SV% : .883 | GAA : 4.62 | SO : 0
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WJC Career Statistics :
S50 | ALP | GP : 6 (2-1-1) | SV% : .887 | GAA : 2.94 | SO : 0
S51 | DACH | GP : 10 (6-3-1) | SV% : 0.897 | GAA : 3.18 | SO : 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Notable Facts :
S49 : Nominated for the Tom Corcoran Trophy (Best Goalie) in the SMJHL
S49 : Received the Vyacheslav Onoprienko Trophy (Most Underrated Player) in the SMJHL
S50 : Drafted 22nd OA by the Minnesota Chiefs
S50 : Nominated for the Tom Corcoran Trophy (Best Goalie) in the SMJHL
S51 : Won Silver Medal with Switzerland (IIHF)
S51 : Won Bronze Medal with DACH (WJC)
S52 : Nominated for the Ryan Jesster Award (Rookie of the Year) in the SHL



Chrigel Tegernako - Chief Coziness Advisor - Newfoundland Berserkers (S58 - today)
Earlier Jobs :
Scout - Newfoundland Berserkers (S50 - S57)



Tanja Haller - Co-GM - Minnesota Monarchs (S56 - S61)
Other Jobs :
Head GM - Toronto North Stars (S62)
Scout/Coach - Minnesota Chiefs (S53 - S55)


Special thanks to @Carpy48, @Chevy, @Turd Ferguson, @fever95 and @enigmatic for the signatures!

 

Cal Juice
Tomas Zadina
Brady McIntyre

i'll playwith anyone
playing with my teammates is part of the intangibles I bring to the table
i play with them a lot.
they didn't like it at first
but after a while, it just felt normal

4-0 and 0-4 aren't that different tbh

FIRE EGGY
HIRE ARTY

                                                                               

Thank you all for the amazing sigs & player cards
 

S31 Eduard Selich  || F || Buffalo Stampede || Peak: 1252
Name: Eduard Selich
Hometown: Fulda, Germany
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 195 lbs
Number: 19
Age: 29
------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Season Career Statistics:
SMJHL:
S30 PGF | GP 50 | G 15 | A 12 | P 27 |  -3 | PIM 8 | HIT 38 | SB 5 |
S31 PGF | GP 50 | G 21 | A 20 | P 41 |  -6 | PIM 18 | HIT 42 | SB 20 |
SHL:
S32 BUF | GP 50 | G 17 | A 19 | P 36 |  +11 | PIM 6 | HIT 54 | SB 13 |
S33 BUF | GP 50 | G 21 | A 25 | P 46 |  +14 | PIM 12 | HIT 44 | SB 21 |
S34 BUF | GP 50 | G 28 | A 35 | P 63 |  +23 | PIM 2 | HIT 3 | SB 22 |
S35 BUF | GP 50 | G 17 | A 17 | P 34 |  -6 | PIM 12 | HIT 13 | SB 17 |
S36 BUF | GP 50 | G 23 | A 24 | P 47 |  +3 | PIM 2 | HIT 37 | SB 15 |
S37 BUF | GP 50 | G 21 | A 27 | P 48 |  +9 | PIM 25 | HIT 74 | SB 15 |
S38 BUF | GP 50 | G 28 | A 27 | P 55 |  +4 | PIM 44 | HIT 42 | SB 12 |
S39 BUF | GP 50 | G 18 | A 21 | P 39 |  +1 | PIM 10 | HIT 48 | SB 23 |
S40 BUF | GP 50 | G 7 | A 15 | P 22 |  -26 | PIM 9 | HIT 48 | SB 11 |
S41 BUF | GP 50 | G 18 | A 17 | P 35 |  +10 | PIM 2 | HIT 5 | SB 11 |
S42 BUF | GP 50 | G 20 | A 21 | P 41 |  +10 | PIM 0 | HIT 5 | SB 10 |
S43 SEA | GP 50 | G 19 | A 19 | P 38 |  +8 | PIM 12 | HIT 47 | SB 7 |
------------------------------------------------------------
Playoff Career Statistic:
SMJHL:
S30 PGF | GP 17 | G 8 | A 13 | P 21 | +7 | PIM 2 | HIT 10 | SB 3 |
S31 PGF | GP 4 | G 0 | A 1 | P 1 | -5 | PIM 0 | HIT 4 | SB 2 |
SHL:
S32 BUF | Did not qualify
S33 BUF | GP 5 | G 4 | A 1 | P 5 | +1 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 0 |
S34 BUF | Did not qualify
S35 BUF | GP 4 | G 2 | A 2 | P 4 | -3 | PIM 0 | HIT 5 | SB 1 |
S36 BUF | GP 7 | G 6 | A 2 | P 8 | +6 | PIM 2 | HIT 10 | SB 1 |
S37 BUF | GP 7 | G 2 | A 0 | P 2 | -3 | PIM 0 | HIT 12 | SB 0 |
S38 BUF | Did not qualify
S39 BUF | Did not qualify
S40 BUF | Did not qualify
S41 BUF | GP 7 | G 2 | A 1 | P 3 | -4 | PIM 0 | HIT 1 | SB 2 |
S41 BUF | GP 5 | G 1 | A 1 | P 2 | -7 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 0 |
S43 SEA | GP 6 | G 3 | A 0 | P 3 | -3 | PIM 4 | HIT 7 | SB 2 |
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin Career Statistic:
S30 GER | GP 10 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | -4 | PIM 2 | HIT 3 | SB 0 |
S31 GER | GP 10 | G 2 | A 1 | P 3 | +2 | PIM 2 | HIT 4 | SB 1 |
S32 GER | GP 10 | G 5 | A 4 | P 9 | +4 | PIM 0 | HIT 2 | SB 3 |
S33 GER | GP 10 | G 2 | A 1 | P 3 | +4 | PIM 2 | HIT 4 | SB 2 |
S41 GER | GP 10 | G 4 | A 1 | P 5 | -2 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 1 |
S42 GER | GP 10 | G 1 | A 2 | P 3 | -2 | PIM 0 | HIT 9 | SB 1 |
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Round Career Statistic:
S30 GER | GP 1 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | +0 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 0 |
S31 GER | GP 3 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | -2 | PIM 0 | HIT 1 | SB 0 |
S32 GER | GP 3 | G 1 | A 2 | P 3 | +4 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 0 |
S33 GER | GP 1 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | -1 | PIM 0 | HIT 1 | SB 0 |
S41 GER | GP 1 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | -1 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 0 |
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S30 | Drafted #20 in the SMJHL Entry Draft by the Prince George Firebirds
S30 | Signed a 1yr/1.5M deal with  Prince George Firebirds
S31 | Drafted #2 in the SHL Entry Draft by the Buffalo Stampede
S31 | Signed a 2yr/2M deal with Buffalo Stampede
S32 | Signed an 23yr/23M extension with Buffalo Stampede
S34 | Contract Adjustment: 3yr/9M deal with Buffalo Stampede
S41 | Signed an 1yr/3M extension with Buffalo Stampede
------------------------------------------------------------
Noteable events:
S30 | Voted Alternate Captain of Prince George Firebirds
S30 | Organized WJC
S30 | Got the call to play for Team Germany
S30 | Won Zach Miller Trophy (Most Dedicated)
S30 | Won Ron Bolt Trophy (Most Sportsmanlike)
S30 | Won Ronan O'Keefe Trophy (Playoff Points Leader)
S30 | Voted S30 PGF Team MVP
S31 | Voted Captain of Prince George Firebirds
S31 | Named Germany Federation Head and won the Silver Medal
S31 | Nominated for Brandon Holmes Trophy (Top Defensive Forward)
S31 | Nominated for Zach Miller Trophy ( Most Dedicated)
S32 | Voted Alternate Captain of Buffalo Stampede
S32 | Nominated for the Ryan Jesster Trophy ( ROTY)
S32 | Named to the SHL All-Rookie Team
S32 | won the Gold Medal with team Germany
S33 | Named Buffalo Stampede Co-GM
S33 | Damien Littleton Trophy Nominee
S33 | Won Lance Uppercut Award
S34 | Named 1st Team All-Star in the SHL
S34 | Damien Littleton Trophy Nominee
S34 | Aidan Richan Trophy Nominee
S42 | Named Buffalo Stampede Co-GM


Otto Selich||GM||GER S31-S34(26-9-2)||BUF(S33-S34,S42-)||1 Gold & 2x Silver
-----------------------------------------------------------
Round Robin Career Statistics:
S31 GER | 6-4-0 | 18 points | #1 seed Group A
S32 GER | 8-1-1 | 22 points | #1 seed Group A
S33 GER | 7-3-0 | 21 points | #1 seed Group A
------------------------------------------------------------
Medal Round Career Statistics:
S31 GER | 2-1-0 | Silver medal | lost to USA in the Gold medal game
S32 GER | 3-0-0 | won Gold Medal
S33 GER | 0-0-1 | lost in Quarterfinals to Finland


S45 Alexander Selich || D || || Colorado Raptors || Peak: 2134
Name: Alexander Selich
Hometown: Fulda, Germany
Height: 6'10"
Weight: 280 lbs
Number: 19
Age: 18
------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Season Career Statistics:
SMJHL:
S43 KEL | GP 9 | G 1 | A 1 | P 2 |  1 | PIM 0 | HIT 4 | SB 0 |
S44 COL | GP 50 | G 12 | A 14 | P 26 |  8 | PIM 4 | HIT 23 | SB 11 |
S45 COL | GP 50 | G 17 | A 16 | P 33 |  2 | PIM 12 | HIT 35 | SB 7 |
------------------------------------------------------------
Playoff Career Statistic:
SMJHL:
S43 KEL | GP 6 | G 1 | A 0 | P 1 | 0 | PIM 2 | HIT 2 | SB 0 |
S44 COL | GP 16 | G 7 | A 5 | P 12 | +3 | PIM 2 | HIT 3 | SB 6 |
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin Career Statistic:
S43 GER | GP 14 | G 0 | A 3 | P 3 | 2 | PIM 4 | HIT 7 | SB 0 |
S44 GER | GP 14 | G 1 | A 1 | P 2 | -10 | PIM 8 | HIT 7 | SB 4 |
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Round Career Statistic:
S43 GER | GP 1 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | +0 | PIM 0 | HIT 1 | SB 0 |
S44 GER | GP 2 | G 2 | A 1 | P 3 | +1 | PIM 2 | HIT 2 | SB 0 |
Transactions:
S44 | Drafted #1 in the SMJHL Entry Draft by the Colorado Raptors
S44 | Signed a 1yr/3M deal with  Colorado Raptors
S45 | Drafted #22 in the SHL Entry Draft by the Buffalo Stampede
S45 | Signed a 3yr/1M deal with Buffalo Stampede
Noteable events:

3. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 5 (Maximilian Wachter, Alexis Metzler) at 16:25
5. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 6 (Steven Stamkos Jr., Brynjar Tusk) at 19:48
8. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 7 (Brynjar Tusk, Alexis Metzler) at 13:55
9. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 8 (Anton Fedorov, Mikelis Grundmanis) at 15:12
10. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 9 (Dickie Pecker) at 19:43 (Empty Net)

Aleksi Kettu



Fox McCloud || General Manager || Los Angeles Panthers
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Los Angeles Panthers GM S56-Present
Regular Season Record: 682-535-87
Playoff Record: 94-85
S57 Lance Uppercut Award Winner
S62 Lance Uppercut Award Winner
S65 Lance Uppercut Award Winner
S65 Challenge Cup Champion
S75 Challenge Cup Champion
S75 Lance Uppercut Award Winner
S75 Littleton Award Winner
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carolina Kraken GM S49-S55
Regular Season Record: 203-122-25
Playoff Record: 49-37
S49 Four Star Cup Champions (as MTL)
S50 Four Star Cup Champions
S54 Four Star Cup Champions
S51 Mathias Chouinard Award Winner
S54 Mathias Chouinard Award Winner



Aleksi Kettu || D || Los Angeles Panthers
Name: Aleksi Kettu
Height: 6ft 5in
Weight: 217lbs
Number: 20
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
    TOTAL    | GP: 263 | G: 83 | A: 97 | TP: 180 | +/-: -50
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Stats
    TOTAL    | GP: 33 | G: 12 | A: 15  | TP: 27 | +/-: -18
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
    TOTAL    | GP: 528 | G: 75 | A: 196 | TP: 271 | +/-: -5
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
    TOTAL    | GP: 59 | G: 2 | A: 18  | TP: 20 | +/-: 0



Michael Fox || F/D || NOLA/LAP || RETIRED
Name: Michael Fox
Height: 5ft 11in
Weight: 185lbs
Number: 88
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drafted 20th Overall by the New Orleans Specters
S46 Draftee
Traded to Los Angeles prior to S56
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
    TOTAL     | GP: 648 | G: 179 | A: 293 | TP: 472 | +/-: 95
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
     TOTAL    | GP: 87 | G: 26 | A: 29  | TP: 55 | +/-: -3