Okay so obviously there’s a lot to cover here, I don’t know how exactly to start this so I’m just gonna get right into this because it’s not really easy to talk about, but I’ve been writing to put together a post like this for a bit so, I’ll try not to ramble here and just get into it.

I’ll first start by owning up to my faults. I want to make a bit of a case for myself, but I’ve made some missteps these last 2 seasons that I take full blame for. I made some obviously big errors in forgetting to post my contracts the last 2 seasons, and neglecting to update my lines in regards to the Vladislav Konstantin suspension, 2 pretty serious oversights that have hindered players both within and outside of Kelowna’s circle, and I’m earnestly sorry to the players on my team who haven’t received their rightful pay, and all members of management, both HO and GMs, who were affected by my neglecting to remove Konstantin from the roster for his 5-game suspension.

Now for the stuff that’s hard to talk about. A few weeks ago I approached GoonerBear in HO and requested a temporary leave of absence from my position as Head GM of the Kelowna Knights, with the option to take it up again when my mental health was in a better state. I was told this move was approved by HO, and thought nothing of it to take my step back. I’m not saying this as an excuse for my negligence in the things I needed to do for the team, but I hoped that it would maybe give me a little bit of an explanation for my less total activity. I’m not attempting to reach for sympathy or pity, but the last 2 months of my life have been some of the hardest, if not the hardest of my life. Between school, personal troubles with my less than stable mental health, my family, my relationship, and piling on stress from work, money problems and school, it’s been hard to maintain some form of consistency. A little bit over a month ago I came really close to taking my own life, something I’m embarrassed to have to admit but is a big reason why I messaged Gooner in the first place to step back a bit. Again, I’m really not trying to garner sympathy or pity, just provide an explanation for why I’ve been less than active as of late.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this but to maybe just say that despite all of this I’ve done what I think to be a very decent job as Kelowna’s GM since I took over in S37. I’ve been really consistent in my offseason duties, always getting them done on time and almost always submitting my lines, roster and budget the same night of the draft, or at latest the next day. I’ve been consistently (again, save for this current season) one of the most engaged GMs in the league (something I hope my fellow GMs, past HO members, and Kelowna Knights alumni who have played for the Knights in the last 6 seasons can attest to and vouch for me). I’ve put my best foot forward in terms of keeping Kelowna consistently competitive, and done my best to foster a fun and engaging experience for anybody who has walked through Kelowna during my tenure. Does all of this excuse my lack of care and consideration this past season? Not at all. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt to get almost no warning from HO before I was publicly removed from my position in front of the entire site (I was messaged by artermis 2 hours ago, and post as of the time of this post going up was made by nobody 2 hours ago as well). I would hope that after giving a lot of time and effort into the site I would maybe get a little bit more of a heads up, at least so I could find out on my own and not through other people messaging me apologizing for how unfortunate it was.

Again, I’d like to apologize to the Kelowna Knights organization, SMJHL HO and the league as a whole. I’ve truly and honestly loved my time as Kelowna GM more than anything, and it’s far and away one of the most fun, rewarding experiences I’ve had on this site. Huge thanks to Thunder for being a fantastic coGM, SMJHL HO (both past and present) for giving me the opportunity to head this franchise for so long, and everyone on this site who has made my time as a part of this franchise so enjoyable.

Anyways this post is getting too long so I’ll wrap this up. @Nobody and @artermis as with most punishments on this site, especially for a first time punishment, I really hope I would be given the right to appeal this punishment, at least a chance to talk to the members of HO in more detail and maybe explain my side of this a little bit more thoroughly. If you guys refuse to give me this opportunity, I’ll fully understand and respect the decision that the SMJHL HO has made, and bow out knowing you guys are acting in the best interest of the Kelowna Knights, the SMJHL and the league as a whole. I hope you guys will give me a chance to explain this a little more thoroughly, but please do as you guys see fit. Thanks to anyone who's read this post all the way through, I hope I don’t come across as being toxic or confrontational, I just wanted to get a chance to dump my thoughts and explain myself a bit. Love you all, goodnight

PS. If the decision to remove me as head GM is final, I’ll be taking a leave from the site. My time here has been awesome but my drive to stick around will certainly fall should my favourite portion of the site be removed. That’s not a threat or anything, just rambling some more I suppose. Should that all shake out that way, this’ll act as a sort of goodbye post too, thanks for the great time you’ve all made this site to be for me, it’s truly been a fantastic ride on this site. @Gooney

Go Knights Go