Tony Pepperoni is scared of only one thing in the entire world, and that's the salad lobbyists. Think about it, if they can have the whole globe (hollow earth 2023) convinced that salad actually exists, then what else are they capable of? I wouldn't be surprised if this salad conspiracy goes all the way to the top. You can find pictures of almost any world elite eating salad. Putin. Eating Salad. Trump. Eating Salad. Ariane Grande. EATING SALAD! How has the truth been swept under the rug of lettuce and not yet been eaten away by all the delicious dressing that has been poured atop it!

Salad is a social construct that tears at the very foundation of society. I do not wish to stand by while my friends and family eat a glorified vegetable platter and think that they're getting a full-blown meal! That's lunacy! These salad lobbyists think that they can do this right under our noses with no consequences. If you're like me and want to stand up to these invisible salad guardians (They're invisible metaphorically, not literally. I'm not crazy) then join TPAOFAS (Tony Pepperoni and others fighting against salad). What really scares me is if we don't get the support, we're going to lose what we value most. A world without salad.

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