5:
My prediction for the upcoming World Junior Championship is… THAT THE U S OF A IS GONNA WIN AGAIN BABY! We’re the loudest and most obnoxious country in the world, so of course we have the best young hockey stars out there. If things get rough, we can always dust the Mighty Ducks playbook off the shelf and get some flying V’s going. Also, a dark horse for us this year is the ghost of the Mighty Ducks equipment manager, Hans is coming with us to sharpen our skates and feed us wisdom from beyond the grave. A player to look out for on team USA is goaltender, C.K. Supernaw, not necessarily on the ice, but off it. My bold prediction is that by the end of the tournament, Supernaw will take a page out of Goldberg’s book and become a drug-addicted homeless man with no teeth. Maybe I’ll join.

8:


10:


13:
a. I didn’t watch a single game of the SHL playoffs this year. But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that the Buffalo Stampede have the defensive advantage in this series. How do I know that? Because I procrastinated and know that Buffalo already won the series. Also I’m magic.

b. As someone that waited until the last minute to answer this question, I’m going to take a bold guess and say that because it was so close during the regular season, this series could go to seven games. After looking up the series, it looks like it did go to 7. I’m a goddamn psychic.

c. As someone who knows nothing at all about the illustrious Franchise Hockey Manager 6, I’m going to put my foot in the sand and say that statistics like bravery, aggression, and fighting don’t have much of an importance in a league where no one can get hurt. Maybe it would be different if injuries were on.

d. The player with the best name in the series belongs to the one and only Poopity Scoop. Not only is his name fun and exciting, but his player has also been whoopiting and scoopiting all over the ice in a major way for a majorly long time. What a threat.

16:
reeves