This is the All-Names-That-Sound-Dirty team, because I am secretly 13 years old:

F - Brock Nuck , did it all for the Nuck-ie
F - Thicc Cheezy , an extra z would bring it over the top
F - Hugh Jazz , just how I like 'em
D - Oliver Clozoff , might be too obvious but here we go
D - Osbert Whacker , them kids have been whacking in my toolshed again
G - Harry Carpet , anything with Harry in it automatically makes my mind head for the gutter.

As a side note, there are wayyyyy more dirty sounding defenseman names than forwards, which is why I had to omit Jack Kanoff, Sven Yxskaft (always want it to be shaft) and others from this list in favor of inferior forward names. Also, choosing only one goalie was PAINFUL.