S63 Championship Week

S63 Championship Week

Snuffalupagus
Registered
Posting Freak

#249

03-07-2022, 01:17 AM (This post was last modified: 03-07-2022, 01:35 AM by Snuffalupagus.)

1. Trivia, +3 TPE
ROGGET

2. Written, +3 TPE

Code:
Back before the dinosaurs roamed the SHL - and by that I mean the Drumheller Dinosaurs, circa S-006 - the rules, playstyle, and culture of the league was vastly different. For example, Ol' Willie "The Chainsaw" Stiehl, of the original team, the Granville Island Sore Ankles, used to tape razor blades to the toe of his stick, making his trips and high sticks especially deadly. It wasn't until the final days of S61 that this was actually outlawed (the rulebook [i]is[/i] hard to read afterall). Another stark difference between the days of yore and the days of yours is that the players' jerseys were actually made from a highly flammable fabric, known to be more flammable than a gasoline powered matchbox-napalm bomb. The decision to use such decripit material was frugal one. Further, some players actually caught flame and appeared from out of a video game. 

Also, everyone had to play with a cat in their pads. Mostly for anxiety help.

4. Writing, +3

Code:
Earlier in my Championship Week post I wrote coincidentally wrote about the Drumheller Dinosaurs. That team's naming was actually, factually based on the ancient DHL - the Dino Hockey League! A little known fact. 

This actually reminds me of a joke. 

There was a mystical lamp in the prehistoric era that a tyrannosaurus rex found. The t-rex struggled to reach it, nearly teetering over. It succeeded, however, and snatched the golden lamp. It rubbed it gently and out came a gold and purple genie. 

"I will grant you 3 wishes." it said in a hollow voice.

The tyrannosaurus ponder on this for a moment. Then its stomach grumbled loudly. 

In a thick dinosaur accent, the behemoth asked "I think I woould lyke a sheep tu eat." and greedily chomped its teeth.

At once, a scrawny sheep appeared in front of the two. The t-rex studied the creature in front of him. One could barely call it a sheep! More like a shp.

"Tooo tiny. It needs... Moore meeeat," it said, its scaly tongue lolling out of its massive mouth.

"Of course," the genie said. The sheep was then enveloped in a gold and purple cloud. When it dispersed. There was a well and fat sheep. One would get meat to feed from this animal for a long time. 

The dinosaur was too greedy! He snapped his mouth closed and suddenly yelled with all his might. 

"Meeeaaaatier!" It roared.

And then they all blew up.

6. Writing, +4 TPE

Code:
a) If I am the coach of the Los Angeles Panthers and I am blessed with the wealth of top-tier offensive talent that they have in their lineup, I would definitely try to play my best players as much as possible. I feel the team would have the best chance possible when the heroes are on the virtual ice.

    b) Defensemen - the last line (before the goalie) of defense against the merciless onslaught of shots from other teams. How in the simulation hockey world does one get a shot past them? The easiest answer is to move your body past these defenders. If a player has points in shot blocking and strength, you may be able to get around them with agility and acceleration. Or maybe threaten to take their pension.

    c) The Los Angeles Panthers have some hot hands and offensive minds, even in their defensemen. It's a scary prospect: seeing five players bearing down on your goalie. I find that the best defense against that type of offensive is banana peels on the ice. It's weird how often that strategy works. It's also weird how the sim doesn't consider it illegal.

    d) A good goalie can stop the other teams' best [i]at[/i] their best. A great goalie can stop a bullet from getting past them. A bad goalie can't stop anything - not even his wife from leaving him... even though he tried desparately hard to make her proud by writing fake hockey articles and gaining fake hockery points. So how do you beat them? Easy. You join them. That's right. Put on goalie equipment and try and take their net away.