2. Written, up to 4 TPE - Grab Bag – 4 TPE
A: well Chicago has some pretty good food and despite the melodrama some pretty neat pizza too, and if theres anything that’s important to hockey its how good the pizza is in that town. The motivational boost that can come from it is the key to victory. However, atlanta seems like the meme dream in terms of locker rooms, and that is also a key to victory. So I’ll say whoever eats more pizza or makes more memes will win. (79 words)
B: Well you see being able to handle your stick is really important in hockey. Each other player on the ice has a stick, including the goalies if you didn’t know. Even coaches are known to arm themselves with a twig or two every now and then. I think if a team has to adjust to players having sticks and using them against them, yer not gonna do so great. It’s a little late for that. (75 words)
C: Discipline will either be a massive factor, or not one at all. That remains to be seen. And the only difference between these two teams is a swift elbow to the head. Even in my players first game this season he had more PIMs than necessary to add to atlantas to take the lead. (54 words)
D: I think the team that remainds more balanced with their ice time will win, meaning Chicago’s even keel of responsibilities will be evenly distributed throughout the team causing a maximum increase in literally every good hockey stat you could want. Have you ever had your entire boat crew stand right at the front of the boat? That floater’s gonna flip over no problem (63 words)

6. Written, 3 TPE, Dream Team (179 words)
If I had to create the perfect simulation hockey league line for my player to be on I would definitely have to place my created character on a line with some of the best, most talented, hot shot superstar players this league has ever seen. Because what else would you do in this scenario? Pick bad players? Pick your friends? All of them losers. I don’t even know their names. I go to the numbers place, I click the players, I sort by points, I get those guys. A little known hockey fact is that if you get put on a line with good players, you’re probably gonna do good too. Remember that time the sedins turned Anson Carter into a 30+ goal scorer for a year? Well I do, because I got to watch exactly what it would be like for my player to get a chance with anyone at the top of that list. And it’s pretty painful. Stuff like that is how vacation houses are purchased. Float on a line like that right to the BANK.

7 Milestones
1 tpe lol
https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid3213206

21. Epic Loot +3 tpe (159 words)
Well you see one day I was at practice doing my thing of practicing the important hockey tactics we employ on a daily basis – good dumps, quick shifts, being hard on the forecheck, getting all the lines banging. One day after a good round of practicing dumps there was this dude wanting to make some magic items or something, so I asked if I could have a stick that goes full doctor strange and multiples into like a hundred sticks, and shoots a hundred pucks at once. However, the stick caused problems when referees and the war room in TARANNA has to take 45 minutes frame tracking the “real” puck and if it made it in, and caused further problems when the hundreds of pucks would flood the ice. The stick was banned after the final straw of “does putting 100 goals in the net at once count as 100 goals” debate raged into its 7th week on sTSN.

22: Be nice – 2 tpe (112 words)
Ya know after seeing some of the disasters of dirty laundry being aired, certain GM’s and longtime players making continuous asshats of themselves on this website, and other stories of the bullshit from various discords and such, I can’t be happier that I’m in a normal, lovely lockerroom in philly. Some of yall really need to touch some grass pronto on what it means to exist as a civilized human on the internet. I didn’t think I’d rack up a team blacklist so fast, but here we are. The forge are number one in the good guys / 60 stat, and have some of the best pet pictures and farm fences around.

4 cup origins 3 tpe (198 words)
Well you see just like how good hockey players know how to get the puck in deep, have quick shifts, and get all lines banging at once, the challenge cup has a long history itself of getting put in deep, having quick shifts around the team, and has been banged once on each of its many shiny lines. Originally a stack of beer cans, the challenge cup was born from a dollar store visit looking to recreate the Stanley cup with tin foil, electrical tape and various plastic spoons. It was only a few years ago when the league finally splurged on a real cup after the great de-foiling of 2014, where it was revealed the cup had an inner layer of chocolate no one ever knew about. Despite being 24 years stale, then and current dynasty team (insert whatever team you fucks bitch about lately here) was winning then just as they are now, and were found guilty of eating the chocolate cup. League conspiracy theorists and haters still post long reddit rants about then commissioner Hary Guttman promising swift justice, however the actual punishment was never revealed, and everything pre-2020 kinda doesn’t exist anymore I guess.

+16 tpe