OPTION 2 - monkaS

Well the first thing that came into my mind was the thought of taking a dump in the gloves and skates of everyone on the other team. However, upon reflection, this is wildly impractical. I mean, that's a lot of poop. Too much for me. And also, they can probably DNA test the leavings and figure out it was me and it will come back around resulting in horrific punishment for me and my team. So I decided to evolve from that childish plan and become a dog walker. Over the course of the season, I will accumulate so much dog turd that I will be able to heat it up and slop it into the gear of the rival team's equipment and have it nearly be fresh quality. This way, there will be no DNA test to bring me into questioning and my team is off the hook entirely. I mean, imagine putting your gloves on and getting a handful of that. Or your skates and getting a gripper full of it. Disgusting. You can't play a game after something like that, so it's over.