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S61 PT#2: Based and Brownpilled

If Melvin was to take a pill, well, the obvious choice would be to take the orange pill. Having to live out in nature on a regular basis, Melvin often suffers from seasonal allergies, and in particular, he is allergic to penguins. The unfortunate reality is now that Nevada has traded fort he stinky Adelie de Pengu, there is no escape for the moose. Not in Nevada, not in Manhattan, and not even in Colorado where they play football together. Since Melvin is always around the penguin, his nose has never had a reprieve, and despite his massive nostrils, they are still stuffed and filled with snot. In order to eliminate the impact on his performance, Melvin is going to take this incredible mystery allergy pill. Upon feeling the immediate relief, his performance on and off of the ice will improve, as will his general demeanor. He no longer feels like going on a murderous rampage, but instead, will just relax in between the hockey games.

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After much reflection, I would probably end up choosing the pink pill and become as famous as a Korean pop star but not the talent of one. The reason I would choose this, is that Luca Del Vecchio could use the global Asian market fame to get more kids into the world of hockey and become a global icon for the sport, on top of that the fashion & cookware lines of products he owns would sell even better than they currently are. Luca doesn’t need the talent of a Korean pop star as he doesn’t sing and doesn’t have the dance moves like one either, as he doesn’t plan to have any sort of musical career. His talents lay on the ice and making spectacular saves and off the ice charming all who come across his devilish smile. Through his popularity, ice hockey in South Korea and Japan would grow and within 20 years develop some amazing world class talents.
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(This post was last modified: 09-03-2021, 08:21 AM by Fluw.)

So you are making me take some sort of weird coloured pill. I guess if I was ultimately made to choose with the orange pill right around the start of summer/end of spring because my allergies love to kick into high gear around that time and make life a living hell. So if this orange pill actually works and gets rid of the shitty feeling associated with allergies I am all for taking it, and hording these pills, unless it removes the allergy permanently, god please let that be the case it would be a life changing pill. Yeah I know my choice is boring but fuck it, allergies are no joke, I am so happy that part of the year is over, and really wish I could will the pill into existence. The consequences? I am a functioning human being for all 12 months of the year without any annoying seasonal allergies, and I am overall more happy around that time of year than I normally am. Could see my point totals increase during that part of the season as well.

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This Point Task is such a silly point task, but I guess we will go ahead and have to pick one. It is really hard to just pick one. I think I would first take the orange pill. Allergies are the absolute worst. Since the orange pill is allergy medicine, I would not have to put up with the god awful thing which is allergies in this awful season which allergies is the worst. I have went to the doctor to ask for allergy medicine, but if I can just take an orange pill, it seems to be a really good idea. I think after that, grapes are good. But, of course that I cannot give that to my dog since it's really bad for dogs. I would want something that is good for dogs, so I guess oranges or something else would be better than grapes. Grapes and jellybeans are both good though. I guess this is what I would do if I had the choice.

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Thank you OrbitingDeath! <3

Justin Keahi takes the purple pill, because purple is his favorite colour and he hopes it tastes like grape. When he eats the jelly bean, he realizes it is actually grape jelly flavored, which is kind of what he wanted, but not exactly. Justin bids farewell to the shady salesman, hoping that he didn't just ingest some illegal substance. The last thing he needs right now is a suspension for performance enhancing drugs. Later in the day, he sees an outbreak has occurred throughout the SHL. Players have lost their sight, shrunk to the size of a child, had their popularity rise, and others are just shitting every 15 minutes. The league is in shambles, some of their best players are likely forced out of competition due to losing their vision, or having to frequently empty their bowls. It is unknown if the child sized players will be able to play in the league still due to their size.

Sven Holmberg

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If Greyson Cooper were to take one of the pills, it would be the orange pill. His allergies are so bad come fall & spring that he has to take multiple allergy pills all season long. Those two times of the year are crucial for players with fall leading into pre season & camps & in spring it’s playoffs & time to give it your best. Hopefully with the orange pill he wouldn’t have to deal with the constant runny nose, sore throat & sinus headaches which would improve his game significantly if there was a cure for all of his allergies. Cooper is improving every season with the Quebec City Citadelles & I think if they were to offer this to him he would take it no problem & probably be one of the first to try it. Being able to breathe without all those symptoms would help his game tremendously.
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super eazy.

very simpel.

i bye red pill for amazing speed and i weare a dieper. most fastest player.

i not nead blue pill. am alredy most ultra strengt player in leeg.

i keap green pill for prank juka. he is alredy manchild.

i buy orange pill becose pollen is very meen.

i not nead korean fame. am best player.

i buy many brown pills for spyke oder teems gatorayde bottels.

i buy perpel pill becose grape jelly bean is yummy.

i destroy black pill becose i never want end op wit sad job laik dis.

okey i still need mor words so i wil talk abawt how dis afect my laif.

i become best player. just kiding, am alredy best player.

evryone not in wolf teem now hav diaria. very strong. it smell.

juka become child. it now fit his personaluty.

pollen is still eevil. i hate it. scroo you pollen.

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If I had to take one of these pills I would take the pink pill because if it’s going to give me the fame of a KPop star then I know for a fact that I will at least have companies throwing money at me like there is no tomorrow. I’m already talentless anyways so I don’t see that causing me much issues but atleast I know that I will be taken care of monetarily and if I get enough money I can then just pay a better player to change his name to my name and I’ll just use him to make me a great player and then if I have enough money I’ll just pay off as many people as I can so that they think it was me playing all the time anyways. Then I can make the hall of fame and be considered the greatest SHL player to ever live and I’ll have more money than I will know what to do with.


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[Image: ddIlIkT.png]Colin Lambert ll Left Defence ll Barracuda[Image: NA3IV5m.png]

I feel like the green pill is being slept on big time, at least from the responses that I've read. Increasing your intelligence by 10x is fucking crazy, Blanchet would literally be warping through time on the ice to score goals and shit. He can see plays develop wayyyy before anyone else on the ice can so it doesn't matter if you end up being only 3ft tall cause for real who is gonna touch me? I am literally 10x smarter than you I think that is smart enough to know how to avoid a body check. Players wouldn't even be in the same stratosphere. I could be out there flying through dudes legs and shit like the chimpanzee from the movie MVP. Good luck SHL you're gonna need it with this 3ft tall literally 5x smarter than Wayne Gretzky player that you can't even hit properly cause he's so small.

In reality though I would take the orange pill cause I have terrible seasonal allergies and it blows ass

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Tanjiro would definitely take the purple pill. Fighting demons and everything else, he already has super speed because of his breathing abilities. Fighting demons while having to take a dump is the last thing that he needs to do. Trying to swing your sword while holding in a dump isn't something that he was trained to do. Now imagine trying to that on he ice is one of his biggest fears as well. He already has a goofy scar on his face, the last thing that he needs is a shit stain to match while he is playing.

The only other pill that would interest him would be the black pill. Becoming Pt director would allow him to not have to write PT's. This would save him time and give him more free time to attack demons. This would also serve as income for him afford more training. Playing on such a strong team like Baltimore means that he does not make a ton of money. Maybe one day he'll get that big money contract that will help him

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Damn this question is completely sick and the only way to answer it is to go through each pill until I get to 150 words! Now firstly the blue pill, I am already very strong so don't really want to sacrifice my sight so it is a great big pass. The green is interesting however I doubt I would be able to play in goal very well with the body of a small child so it is going to be a no. The orange pill would be fine i guess but just am not really allergic to and you can buy antihistamines from any shop so that one is not really worth it. I am not a fan of k pop so a big no to the pink pill. Brown, just no. Purple, why do American make things grape flavoured, so there so many better fruit flavours, like pretty much any fruit. And being PT head sounds like a lot of work so no to the black pill. So red pill please, speeeeeeeed, poooooop, repeat.

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Which pill would i take? It's a toss up between the red and the brown to be honest. If I had to narrow it down, I'd probably go with the red one, as I might as well get something useful besides emptying my insides every 15 minutes. The positive thing is, I can be fast as hell on the ice, play right until 14:55 and push it to the limit, then rush to the bathroom, come back and get right back in the play like nothing happened. Actually, now that I think about it and have already taken the red pill, this trade off may not be worth it. I really need to think things through before I do them, I'll have to wake up every 15 minutes. This is not as great as I first envisioned and now I'm stuck with my choice for the rest of my life.





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The pink pill. With the fame of a KPOP star, it would be extremely easy to become the face of the SHL in south korea. The drawbacks of the pill are essentially negligible because I'm not not getting paid to sing KPOP songs, I get paid to be an underperforming centerman for the Rage. Being able to have that kind of popularity without any of the actual work would pay dividends, especially if you enjoy Korean culture. You'd be able to sign numerous advertising deals with the major companies there. The fans would fawn over you everywhere you went in Seoul or Busan. The biggest benefit would be being the face of shl hockey in korea would allow you to grow the game there. Hockey is still quite unpopular with only a handful of youth and high school teams. While the sport got a boost after the olympics, its starting to trend downwards again, and having a SHL KPOP star could create a whole new fanbase for the league

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Stan Din'desque actually knows about the pills involved quite well. He was involved in an industrial accident when he was a boy, given a package of several of the pills instead of jelly beans, and ate them all. Due to this, the pills played hell on his body, and for literal months, he was put into an induced coma, his life force hanging on by a thread, However, Stan was able to pull through, and the mixture of the many pills gave him incredible powers, as if the mixture ended up forming a Voltron of a concoction in him. Since then, he seems to have gained supernatural strength, speed, reflexes, eyesight, and the like, without any of the drawbacks the pills seem to give on their own. However, he has gained an unnaturally strong craving for anything grape flavored. The one normal pill of the bunch is the one that has given him the worst side effects. Luckily, most sports drinks come with a grape flavor...













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