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***Nike*** · 02-05-2023, 10:31 PM

At this point in my career, I’m just trying not to get too caught up in the details of contract negotiations and make sure that I secure that next deal. And while management in Chicago has always been really phenomenal to me, I had never really considered the leverage of having an opportunity to make demands when it came to contract time. So, if I’m going to put a special clause in my contract, it’s going to have to be a good one. Given my love of sweets, there’s nothing better than a little post game treat. And often, being away from home I really miss the local spots for a great sweet treat. For every home game, my contract will state, that Chicago must provide me with 2 post-game Cannolis from Mike’s Pastry in Boston. The filling of the cannolis must also have been piped in the last 24 hours, otherwise the shells will be soft and soggy. I will quickly eat ‘em after every contest.

**The__Y-man__100** · 02-05-2023, 10:37 PM

Oles has quite a few clause in his current deal with the Edmonton blizzard. For starters, with a team name like that Oles demanded that he get free Dairy Queen while he plays for the blizzard. The only reason Edmonton even accepted this proposal is by adding a weight clause in order to make sure Oles is not abusing this power. Oles must remain under 225lbs or else he forfeits pay until he comes back down below 225.

The second clause is that the team hire Andy Samberg for a yearly comedy night private show only to the Edmonton locker room. From the man who brought you Brooklyn 99 and lonely island, Oles feels like there is no other way to have the perfect team bonding night than with some good laughs with good people.

Somehow Andy owed Edmonton a favour for funding him in his earlier production days, so he agreed to do the clause just for Oles!

First ever Yukon Malamute draft pick (1st overall S65)

jlutz14 · 02-05-2023, 10:45 PM

Creative Prompt

This is an interesting bit. So in the first line of my player's contract with the Knights, it is written in giant bold letters that every time my player scores a goal, he shall receive a giant box of freshly baked donuts from one of the local pastry shops immediately after the game or upon returning home to Kelowna. Of these donuts, Lutz only enjoys eating one or two and gives the rest of the tasty treats to his teammates. Resulting from this contract clause, the player has earned a fancy new nickname similar to that of NHL legend Phil Kessel: donut man. While Kessel and the Kelowna forward share similarities in their affinity for fatty foods and craft alcoholic beverages, the similarities mostly end there. Also written in Lutz's contract is a special clause allowing him to receive special treatment as a player - he is contractually allowed to be the last player off the ice at all times. This has led to scuffles before, especially with members of other teams. However, the paperwork allows him to always get the last laugh.

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***iStegosauruz*** · 02-05-2023, 10:46 PM

I have never been someone who has had weird demands in contracts. When I first joined the ISFL I noticed it was commonplace to ask for weird clauses in contracts as part of a comedic effort or a world-building attempt. I have always been a fan of signing something basic - give me the minimum amount of money so the team can put pieces around me, give me a No Trade Clause (which has come in handy for me before) so I can control my destiny - if you want to trade me, I want to be able to have a say in where I go, and give me options every year so I have the flexibility to renegotiate my contract if I desire or the team needs or I can opt out and pursue free agency in the event I am not crazy about the direction of the team. I have only ever used an option once too.

MN_Moosey · 02-05-2023, 10:48 PM

Creative

Fortunately, Eaglesong just signed a fresh contract extension. Now negotiations weren't easy by any stretch. There were a few lucrative clauses that we inserted into this most recent contract. First, Eaglesong must have his locker organized in a very specific pattern. Upper body items on the left and lower body on the right. Jersey should be in the middle facing out into room. All tape must be kept in the drawer directly under the locker seat. Second, he requested that the team training staff get some form of nap pod or resting area. Sleep is important to recovery which Julian takes very seriously. Finally, he requested that the kitchen staff stock some of his favorite snacks. Of which include sliced pears with dried dates, cheese and cracker packs, and frozen yogurt with sliced strawberries. Everyone talks about money with their deals, but everyone knows the deals are all done with superlatives. Every little bit to sway the favor of the player.

G2019 · 02-05-2023, 10:54 PM

When it comes time to discuss contracts, McHits doesn't trust anybody but himself. Everyone else has alterior motives, whether they are money, location, prestige, etc, but only McHits knows that the only thing that matters is fit, comraderie, and legacy. He's not in the league just to make money and make headlines, but to work to become one of the greats for his current team, the Patriotes. If his name isn't up in the rafters when it's all said and done, he simply hasn't done enough. That's why the money, contract length, endorsements, etc. doesn't mean a thing. All that matters is leaving the team with the flexibility to bring in other great players around him...all that matters is grinding with the boys for that cup. Because when it comes, and believe me...it's coming...it's going to be sweeter than sweet. I guarantee it! And when that cup is being raised above his head...all the money and fame in the world won't be able to replace it.

Toivo · 02-05-2023, 10:55 PM

It is smart to always negotiate contracts with an agent and not try to just figure things out player – general manager. I believe in my team’s GM to deal a fair contract, but I know there is pressure on them from the owner to make the most team friendly deal. I get that, but at the same time, for the player’s interest, team friendly is not always ideal. Some will argue, what about the talent surrounding you? This argument doesn’t matter much to me since this is just a job that will last me a few years before I am too banged up to skate again. Those armchair negiotaters can try all that on their own time, but when I am up for a new deal I am going to try to maximize my contract and earn as much as I can. There is a lot at stake, and if the money isn’t coming to me, then it’s going to the owner who doesn’t have to get body checked into the boards every night.

***eddiesnothere*** · 02-05-2023, 11:06 PM

Hoang's agent is Borys Franciszek, a former Polish SMJHL player and an international hockey camp scout. From an early age, Borys was keenly aware of what Hoang was becoming, and helped to influence his parents into sending him to hockey camps in Europe, the United States, and Canada. Borys had a short-lived SMJHL career with the St. Louis Scarecrows, though he deferred to his brother, Ryszard, who coached Hoang for his first two seasons with Great Falls. Borys has several clients all over the world, though most are European. Due to this, Hoang has roughly been able to pick up on several languages, and finds himself comfortable at any contract talk. Borys considers Hoang as a perfect teammate, not in it for the money, yet philanthropic and personable when he feels like it. He therefore doesn't push too hard when it comes to getting Hoang a better contract, as Hoang puts the team's interests above his.

MyLittleHexx · 02-05-2023, 11:09 PM

Special contract clauses are nothing new in the world of hockey. Though for the Kelowna Knights, this year had an extra weird one. Mito Chondria requested that for every home game a basket of dildos be left out side each locker room. No note, not tags, no nothing. Just a box of dildos. Big dildos, little dildos, clear dildos, opaque dildos, a vast assortment of dildos. And for each dildo, a number is written on them. The numbers correspond to a player number. The players can do as they wish with the dildos, just as long as the dildos are left outside the locker rooms when the teams arrive to the arena to start preparing for the game. An extra detail in this clause is that no one can state why the dildos are left, it must remain a secret to both teams as to why the dildos are there. Only Mito and the GM know the true reason for the dildos, as the equipment managers will only leave the dildos. They must not know the meaning of why they must be left every home game.

creative written prompt

5ympathies · 02-05-2023, 11:11 PM

I used to make podcasts with my dear friend and almost lifelong team mate @goldenglutes who is now co GM of the Atlanta Infero, recent cup champions. And in my contract, signed and accepted my head GM @hotdog he agreed to make a one hour in length podcast with the three of us. Maybe @bilbo too if they were free. HOWEVER, here we are at least 10 seasons later, maybe even more, where is the podcast? I have not heard any mention of this at all. I have basically been deprived of the $ 4 million of how ever much I would have, nay SHOULD have been paid!! This is daylight robbery. I have been robbed by the Atlanta Inferno organization! Shame on them both! @WannabeFinn should punish hotdog, definitely not glutes tho cause he's a real one and a homie, but definitely hotdog that scoundrel. My contract has never been fully earned, throw my cap hit against the team until it is.

Thanks to JSS for the signature

***mer*** · 02-05-2023, 11:17 PM

Code:
Written Task: What special conditions do you want in your players contract? Is there a special snack that has to be in your locker stall every morning? A specific type of coffee stocked in the machine? A certain way the trainer must tape your stick or you'll throw a tantrum and quit? Tell me about what special requirements if any your player wants in their contract and why. (150+ words)

Aksel felt bad about making contract negotiations that were too crazy, but then everyone on the team turned their nose up at lutefisk so he doesn't feel bad anymore. He demanded one day of Christmas to be celebrated the way he wanted - Norwegian sweaters on everyone, meatballs and that really nice glaze on top for meals, and lutefisk. That everyone has to eat. Or he'll cry at them. It's in the contract. That's all he asks for! No expensive products or brand deals, or anything like that. Just some festive cheer in the locker room and some food that the Americans on the team hate. The other Europeans think he's being dramatic and take the demands in stride, and when Aksel asks what they put in their contracts, they shrug and say more time off, or allowance for their families and pets to visit whenever. But Aksel is vindictive and loves to cause pain so. Lutefisk.

Code:
156 words

marco999 · 02-05-2023, 11:27 PM

PLAYER PROMPT

Kaapo Kampainen's agent is his best friend since childhood. He used to play hockey with Kaapo, but after an horrible injury, he was forced to give up on his dream and Kaapo, ever the good friend and the kind soul, suggested he could become his agent and live out his dream throught Kaapo. Of course, it wouldn't be the same, but Kaapo has taken his best friend all around the world and they form an incredible pair. He knows what Kaapo wants and since he gets a cut of everything Kaapo gets, he knows it's in their best interest to have the highest salary. Kaapo also promised him a ring if he ever wins one, because he wouldn't be where he is without his best friend, so they make sure to always include that in their contract. He can also come and skate with the team when he wants to. Of course, he lost his touch, but it brings joy in his life and somehow he can relive his childhood dream.

*Flowseidon* · 02-05-2023, 11:31 PM

As we all know by this point, Chad Nickelback is a major musician on the mid-size Canadian town Wednesday night bar circuit. This will have to be heavily considered with his contract or rider with whatever team decides to sign him. Firstly, it will need to be written in that should any major show opportunity come up (i.e. opening for Fozzy, Jimmy Buffer, or Simple Plan) that those dates will take precedence. He does need to further his career after all.

In the dressing room, it will also be required that there is a soundbooth setup for him to practice or record should inspiration strike. Understanding of course that we cannot force other teams to build this in their arena, the team will provide the transport of an amplifier, several guitars, and a microphone with which Chad can practice and serenade the team with on their road trips. This will be vital to keeping up his craft.

*jeffie43* · 02-05-2023, 11:35 PM

When contract talks come around, Edward Elric has his brother, Alphonse Elric to help him out with contract details and to make sure he is getting his money's worth. Unlike himself, Alphonse is not an over-eager and highly emotional person and he tends to make more reasonable decisions than his brother, Edward. He is usually considered the more responsible brother of the two and for good reason! Although Edward will begrudgingly acknowledge this fact, he does want the best for Alphonse, Winry and himself and ultimately realizes that the best person to get maximum value out of his contract is Alphonse Elric. For Edward, he is a year older than Alphonse Elric and has basically known him his entire life due to them being siblings. They have a very tight bond as the two are basically inseparable and have been that way since Alphone was born. The death of their mother and disappearance of their father had only brought the two closer and strengthened their relationship.

Nour is pretty hot ngl

*Count Chocula* · 02-05-2023, 11:36 PM

CREATIVE PROMPT

As part of my contract for signing with Edmonton, I had several special requests added to my contract. Being that Edmonton is probably one of least desirable places to live in Canada, the culture of cuisine is severely lacking. Since there is nowhere within 100 kilometers to get a decent breakfast, sorry all you Tim Horton maniacs, I gave my General Manage strict diet demands. For every pregame breakfast the management staff must fly in freshly baked baguettes from France. I don't know how they will be fresh off a 14 hour plane ride, but that's not my problem. Also a part of my breakfast ritual is fresh brewed espresso made from traditional dark roasted beans. Anything less than the way its craft brewed back home is unacceptable. If they expect me to play in this frigid wasteland for my career, they better at least cater to my lavish style. Maybe along the way the people of Edmonton will learn what fine dining is all about and begin to upgrade their taste and standards. Hopefully becoming a more suitable place to live.

W:182

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