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SlashACM · 08-21-2018, 06:56 PM

Aleister Cain’s Mock Draft (If he was GM of every team)

This is a very serious mock draft with very serious picks. That being said, you might think that a lot of these picks are very unusual compared to the consensus picks in other mock drafts. Let me make this clear: The consensus is wrong. These are the only correct choices and if you still believe otherwise then we will have to see who is right after the draft. As a side note, I am deleting this after the draft so please don’t screenshot this and embarrass me for putting Cain too low. Enjoy!

1OA- Other mock drafts have trouble deciding on the first overall choice, but they obviously haven’t done enough scouting because there is only one clear cut choice for first overall. That’s right, you guessed it, it's Aleister Cain (@SlashACM ). Not only is he a generational talent in net, but he’s the whole package. Graphics Creator, Updater, GM of USA in the WJC, smart, good-looking, AND can play Free Bird in Guitar Hero 2 on expert difficulty. Without failing! Not only that, but he somehow became GM of every single SHL team in his first year. Simply unprecedented. He is the most active person on any discord channel in the history of channels and has circulated numerous booty pics to keep the players going while they are away from their wives and girlfriends. There is no other draftee quite like him, and that’s why Aleister Cain should be the consensus 1 OA.

2OA- This one is quite a bit tougher, but GM Aleister Cain can’t go wrong with this explosive young winger Nicholas Williams (@Nictox ). On the ice he is quite impressive, but off-ice is where he really shines as a man, leader, and friend. He has accomplished a lot in his short time here so far and will only get better as he is sure to be a mainstay in the SHL for a long time.

3OA- It is not surprising that another Crow would be going in the top 3, as they were clearly the best team in the SMJHL (intangible wise). That’s right, third overall we have GM Aleister Cain picking the man, the myth, the legend Adam Taylor (@DannyMethane ). His jokes are always timely and just the right amount of self deprecating to not be awkward. He leaves the past behind him as he looks to prove his worth as a top 3 pick and prove the haters wrong on his path to SHL stardom.

4OA- GM Aleister Cain is going a little off the board with this pick with outstanding defenseman The Dude (@Dude) at 4th overall. Now you might be thinking, “uh Aleister, Dude was already drafted to Texas in a previous draft”. While you are correct, Aleister Cain is also the COMMISSIONER of the SHL now and has changed the rules to allow this. Dude has a massive TPE headstart on his draftmates and will likely crack the roster next season. An absolute gem and possibly the steal of the draft. Love ya Duder.

5OA- GM Aleister Cain owes a lot to these men, because if it wasn’t for them, he wouldn’t have been drafted in the first place. That’s right, with the 5th selection, he is selecting BOTH Paddy O’Sullivan AND Joe Kurczewski (@TML99 @JKortesi81 ) with one draft pick. They drafted him, so it’s only fair that he drafts them too and gives them a fresh start in the SHL.

6OA- This is an easy choice, GM Aleister Cain jumps at the chance to draft Taurus Karazija (@ontanis ) when he sees him still on the board. A fantastic locker room guy and always around to chat (mostly in the early morning), he will instantly boost moral and give good life advice to all in need. And let’s be honest, aren’t we all in need of a little life advice?

7OA- A somewhat controversial pick, GM Aleister Cain selects with the 7th pick winger and SHL legend Logan Jensen (@Loganjj21 ). Cain feels his team suffers from a lack of hot fuckin bars, and Jensen will easily solve that problem and more. No one will mess with your team when Jensen is on the ice, and the toughness and skill he adds cannot be overstated. Huge add for Cain in a draft where he just can’t seem to lose.

8OA- Next up we have someone whose stock has risen quite remarkably in the past few days, Cain selects WINGER Andrew Martin (@Good_Ole_Kimmy ). He impressed lots of scouts by being selected to GM Germany/Austria in WJC, with the aim to not be destroyed at the hands of USA. But what most scouts failed to notice that Cain did was his subtle use of memes in the Rookie discord. He feels that this could bring much needed levity to a nearly deceased locker room and hopefully he plays pretty well on the ice too idk.

9OA- After the last few selections GM Aleister Cain is very surprised to see top player DeMaricus Smyth (@Blastmeaway ) still available to be selected. Smyth has one of the sickest sigs on the site (the 80’s looking one) and is just a cool dude all around. I’m not quite sure what national team he plays for but its probably lame and loses a lot. That doesn’t matter to Smyth though, who aspires to be a top player in the SHL one day and a dedicated mentor to the newbies. Excellent player and role model. How does Cain keep getting away with this?

10OA- With the final selection of this mock draft, GM Aleister Cain selects Leshaun King (@King ) so that he will talk about this mock draft on his podcast.

Note- Don’t feel bad if you weren’t selected in the top 10, there is plenty of time until the draft but you have to hurry up and schmooze GM Aleister Cain and convince him that you are the right choice! Right now I have Kiko Rytmeyr (@ThatIrishFellow ) going 11th but a lot of you can make the case for yourselves going that high. Anyways, happy drafting and have a good rest of your week!

(1018 words)
-GM Aleister Cain

White Cornerback · 08-21-2018, 07:03 PM

thanks for the snub

SlashACM · 08-21-2018, 07:05 PM

Are u even active bud @White Cornerback

Dude · 08-21-2018, 07:08 PM

There's an obvious bias here.

A bias toward elite talent.

Clint Eastwood, Jun 10 2018, 09:36 AM Wrote:Can't buy love, but love can buy a lot.

***Blastmeaway*** · 08-21-2018, 07:30 PM

Quote:I’m not quite sure what national team he plays for but its probably lame and loses a lot.

I'm not sure what team i play for either, but we excel. we excel at being consistent. consistently mediocre, well as of late. but maybe that'll change.

Shout out to ml002, schultzy, slashacm, tedward!
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09-05-2018, 10:04 PMBeaver Wrote: Wow look what the PT affiliation has done to our pristine league.

12-19-2018, 12:31 AMBeaver Wrote: I personally blame the PT affiliation for handing out massive amounts of free TPE to all these players, inflating the TPE they're at when they get called up.

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*Good_Ole_Kimmy* · 08-21-2018, 08:02 PM

@SlashACM There is a button on the top of the textbox that has an "A" with a red circle. Highlight all of your text and press that button. On dark mode the text is still black and if you hit that it changes it to white.