As the draft day excitement dwindled down, the Armada management and captains decided it was a good idea to get the team together for a bit of team bonding. Luckily, being in Alaska, there's a lot of land and space to do pretty much anything you want. A good old fashioned blindfolded demolition hooptie derby was in effect. For the uninitiated, this is much like a demolition derby, minus the monster trucks. The rookies were split into pairs, one driver who was blindfolded, and a passenger navigator. Each pair was assigned a hooptie car that was on it's last legs and would see it's ultimate demise. that day
The cars assigned included a '71 Ford Pinto, '79 Volkswagen Thing, '78 AMC Pacer, '76 Chevy Vega, '87 Kia Concord, '89 Geo Metro, '80 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Diesel, and a '90 Yugo 45. The worst of the worst that all ended up just outside Anchorage. Each team climbed into their rust buckets, fitted with no extra safety features, no roll cages, window nets, bucket seats with seat belts. This was Mad Max if it was based in Alaska, thankfully the snow had melted, but mud season was here.
After a good hour of dying engines, tires flying in the air, rusted shrapnel screaming past faces the derby ended. The winners: Driver Igor Victory and Navigator TURG TURG. They managed to crawl out of their '79 Thing with only a few scrapes and bruises. Looking around and seeing the destruction and mayhem, it was a surprise that nobody was seriously injured or killed. They're already looking forward to next years Derby where they aim to capture another Hooptie Cup (which happened to be a bottle of luke warm Labat Blue found by the dump adjacent to derby site).
The Maine Timber's team building activity was more of a big get together with the rookies and veterans, along with some alumni. The usual ice breaker games were played to introduce the newly drafted players, all while having dinner and drinks together. The coaching staff was obviously there and set up the event and was able to get one on one time with all the new players and continue to build relationships. The veterans reacted positively to the event, as they had gone through it in years past and it was nothing new. The rookies were a little shocked at first, but as the night went on they all got more comfortable with each other and the team as a whole. Rookie winger Victor Ball had a great time as he made some new friends from his draft class and got to do something he loves: drinking. Overall the night went well and the event only made all the players more and more excited about the upcoming season.
First Ever SHL Goal:
Code:
5. New England Wolfpack , Kristaps Ball 1 (Piotr Czerkawski 1, Cameron Dubois 2) at 16:27
First Ever Hat Trick:
Code:
S45 Game 46 NEW vs TOR
6. New England Wolfpack , Kristaps Ball 1 (Artemi Berezin 3, Tigole Bitties 5) at 5:21
9. New England Wolfpack , Kristaps Ball 2 (Artemi Berezin 4) at 18:58
10. New England Wolfpack , Kristaps Ball 3 (Tigole Bitties 7, Manuel Gotze 2) at 19:38 (Empty Net)
Fluw Head Office
EBEBEB, Monke and the Almighty Cod
Of course there were many team building exercises that occurred during the off season however one specific one that stood out to me came from an idea by The Godmother. The team building exercise was plunging oneself in a polar bath while then running 200m and then eating a single fermented herring. Sounds painful yes? Of course it probably was but it introduced some friendly competition between teammates and also helped them grow closer together as they had to face the challenge together. The players were paired up in groups of 3 with the rookies being paired together. Each team was timed to see how fast they were able to complete the course, and if they were able to hold down the fermented herring. The Godmother despite being Icelandic has never enjoyed fermented herring and really had trouble keeping it down, however his course mates Mack Daddy and Flitterwing stood by and cheered him on as they managed to swallow that herring quickly.
05-27-2020, 09:21 AM(This post was last modified: 05-27-2020, 11:15 AM by kikish18.)
I think I had very interesting team building exercise this per-season. I got very well along my Kelowna teammates even when I was DFA. But there was a rule that I have to experience team-building to be a fully a knoot!
Our GM @Katth invited us at his property I mentioned before where he was that delicious scent of kofte in the air. There was this huge yard with classy looking old oak table, the grill across the yard.
@Naosu greeted us and said the best team-building is having time together and having feast. After that one side of table started shouting: “Feast the beast! Feast the beast! Beast the feast! Beast the feast!”
@Scheetzy joined to yell the slogan and.. rest of rookies decided to do same. And then it happened – More than dozen hot blondes with ponytail came out of @Katth house. They were extremely hot and dressed like Octoberfest or something. They were holding whole baked pigs, huge chunks of steak and burgers. Only bigger than their titties were foam from cups of beer. They all smiled at us. Except Helga, she was 6’3, wide as truck and with fist as my face and with expression like “I can armwrestle with a bear”. All of rookies were afraid of her except @trashae. He gave her wink every ten minutes.
We ate so much that even @Hoovuh opened belt to get more stuff in. When we finished the @Katth said that we are great knoots we seems to be worthy but there is one catch…. We have to prove it. More than dozen dark hooded people came in one hand holding glass and in the other the old fashioned bottle with beer. Girls pored it in and light brown, almost white foams immediately overtook the glass. @Katth said that it is “zwaar paard orgasme” or also called “the one who believes”. One drink can fulfill all Your dreams only then If You wish it right.
He started laughing and said that was bullshitting. That’s just regular tasty beer!
I drunk mine and it tasted like my favourite dark beer. @iamslm22 said loud that it tastes as the best beer he has ever tasted. @ThatDamnWookiee said that it tastes like a piss just the way he likes. Exact same moment @Mac passed out with his face in mac’n cheese.
Boy… but that shit was heavy… I think.. I passed out…. Then I woke up next to bridge I saw the face of @CampinKiller but older and uglier. He had stick and he denied access to bridge. He looked to @LB and asked “what’s Your name?”
- @LB Big Drincc
What’s Your quest?
- @LB To win a Four star cup
What’s the color of @Hoovuh socks?
- @LB Neon green
That's correct! You can pass!
@ThatDamnWookiee came next and said that he wants to cross the bridge too.
That exact moment @ThatDamnWookiee exploded blasting all red there. I was screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. @CampinKiller came to me – “No need to scream! I won’t hurt You. You’re just hallucinating”
I woke up @CampinKiller looking at me and saying I was hallucination. @Hoovuh said I was eating like an idiot and put whole turkey leg in my throat. I got choking, @Scheetzzy asked if I’m right. @trashae said that I’m getting blue. @ThatDamnWookiee reacted and did heimlich manoeuver. Turkey leg popped out and I was screaming – NOOOOOOOO! @CampinKiller said that I must be hallucinating.
I started to laugh. Everyone else started to laugh and I said – that was just a dream!
As the prehistoric team in the league, it was only right that the Colorado Raptors went to a fossil museum for their first off the ice team building exercise. Located in the heart of Denver, the team ascended onto this museum with excitement to see the dinosaur that shaped the way they are today. Mack was running through the museum like a kid who didn't listen to their mother, while Svennson would rattle off pointless fact after pointless fact.
As the team went past the pteordactyls and flew past the Triceratops, they finally arrived to the Raptor. It was at this point that our leader Jurt had an idea. He become Chris Pratt and Mosley, Mack and Svensson become the Raptors from Jurrasic Park. It was an odd experience and the more sophisticated individuals at the museum were not amused. However it provided a funny experience that really ties a group of guys together and forms a strong bond that will translate onto the ice.
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Player: Carter Crutchfield
Jesse Seppanen joined the Maine Timber with a bang - before all of the on-ice training began, it was time for a great team building exercise.
The Timber took the rookies on a trip through the many forests in Maine, where they cut down a tree with a chainsaw. Seppanen was a little reckless with the chainsaw, having never used one before. His teammates all tried to get out of the way of the tree he was slicing down, but not everyone made it.
The mascot was struck by the falling tree and there has been a cover up going on in Maine ever since the incident. Can Jesse Seppanen put this unfortunate lumberjack incident behind him and will anybody find out?
Hopefully, for the young Finn's sake, nobody finds out and he gets to keep playing in the SMJHL. It wouldn't be very good to get drafted and shipped to prison in the same season, would it now?
05-27-2020, 01:18 PM(This post was last modified: 05-27-2020, 01:19 PM by BadLck.)
The first time meeting the team was quite the spectacle. I don’t think my teammates and my coaches knew just how big their new speedy winger Biggs Secksy is. I think at first glance everyone thought I was a goalie especially since I was not one of the top recruits so no one really knew who I was. But when it got time to get on the ice I sure showed them.
For our team building exercise we had relay races on the ice between the rookies and the vets to the team. Of course the losing team would have to have some sort of punishment but that we are gonna have to keep inside the team. I was actually feeling pretty confident since in junior league I was probably the fastest player on the ice. Looking at my size I was put into the middle of the pack since no one thought I could fly. When it came to my turn we were already down a few seconds but that’s when I took off like a rocket. Everyone was in quite the shock but I think I was in the most shock. Even going full speed I still could not catch up to one of the slower players on the vets team. I did manage to cut a little bit of the time off but in the end we got crushed. That’s when I knew that this team was great and I would love it here. Biggs Secksy is coming back next time though even faster.
Bjerg has been settling in with the Timber locker room really well since returning from the WJC. He and Alexander Oscarsson (@Zema) played for and won Silver with the Swedish team, so they already had some camaraderie coming back to Portland. In celebration of their success, the team rented a boat and had a booze cruise around Casco Bay (the bay on which Portland sits), enjoying the nice weather and the views of the islands in the bay. Bjerg even convinced some of his teammates from countries in the north to go swimming in the frigid water, competing to see who could last the longest or go numb the slowest. Captain Kalishnikov (@suavemente) fell in as they were swimming (surely not from being drunk) and then yelled about it being stamina training and told the rest of the team that if they didn't also jump in "to train", that he would have them on the bottom line faster than he could down a bottle of vodka. Bjerg definitely feels like the team grew closer as a result and everyone is feeling ready for this upcoming season.
Coming over from Russia with my two brothers, Sergei and Boris Voskoboynikov, we would practice constantly in a hidden warehouse down by the pier in our hometown of Moscow. The constant dishing and saucing of Sasha over to Boris who would then dish between the legs over to Sergei for top cheddar every time. Completely dominating trio who did not want to be seen again in the minor leagues in Russia. Taking our talents over to the SMJHL, we look to dominate both for that championship and gold medals. The latest training session in Russia, would be our last training session before finally making the jump.
The young Russian trio has now arrived here, ready for an opportunity, either together or split apart. We have started practicing on American soil where we soon to hope find some real competition. We do the same routine, the same strategies, and yield the same results every time. Built for absolute perfection on a team, I don't see us being stopped after all of our training. We dominate the offensive zone. Sasha, Sergei, and Boris are here to stay.
Once drafted to the Kraken, Conner Hutton immediately started getting messages from his new teammates welcoming him to the team. The day after arriving in Carolina, Hutton was quickly thrown into his first SMJHL Training Camp. It was a little tougher than expected, but an overall great time. The team was called together again that night to get together and get to know each other. There was a spin to it though, as Jimmy Wagner, the captain of the team, had a surprise for the rookies. It was a tradition in the organization to have the rookies dress in Kraken suits, and that is exactly what they did. Conner was always one to embarrass himself to make people laugh, so he had no issue with it. They went to clubs, bars, and stopped at a party in Glenwood. Of course, with such a small draft class, there were some extra suits that were to be worn, and some of the leadership team tossed them on for another night. Afterwards, it was a day off and back to training for the players, with the preseason coming up.
Back home in Bowling Green, Brandt didn't have a lot of options for who he got to play hockey with, as most of his friends and relatives were into football. So Brandt was notorious for sneaking into the local ice-skating rink with a couple of 40 oz. King Cobras and his hockey gear, where he would just slam sweet shots into the retaining wall. He considered it team building, because it took an entire team of the skating-rink staff to finally get him to go home when he was eventually caught. This exercise gave Brandt the tools he needed to make it into the SHL, as he had to learn many quick-thinking maneuvers to evade capture and detention, as well as how to brute force through the many minimum-wage high school students who attempted to stop his ritualistic training. Brandt views all of these exercises as the highlights of his adolescence.
Fun fact, Alessandrini loves his mother's cooking. I mean, who doesn't love some nice and spicy stromboli before an opening night matchup. Thus, Alessandrini, Hartmann, and Yxskaft competed in a spicy stromboli eating competition, because we all know that homemade spicy stromboli is the key to winning both happiness and the 4-Star Cup. Alessandrini got off to an early lead, but Vancouver's newest captain Yxskaft caught up and passed him. The three of them combined to eat around $250 worth of stromboli in one sitting, in roughly about 10 minutes time. Nonetheless, Yxskaft did manage to eat the most and win, thereby causing Alessandrini to bring shame and dishonor to his family. But now, with pounds of stromboli in their systems, these three superstars are trained up and ready to face the perils and trials of a new SMJHL season! Here goes nothing, this oughta be good.
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