Login

**Rich** · 08-10-2020, 05:16 PM

Math. Lane was a pretty average to below average student, but math was definitely his weakness. He was pretty consistently behind his classmates in math. Getting through highschool was a struggle, but with lots of help from tutors and his teachers, he was able to pass, but barely.

MrStennett · 08-10-2020, 06:52 PM

Blackwood has always struggled with math. Clear back to his days in elementary school, he remembers having difficultly with multiplication tables and fractions. In high school, he was moved from the register to bagger at the local grocery store because he had so much trouble making change. Now that he’s a professional hockey player, he’s not really that worried about it. Fuck math and fuck Piggly Wiggly!

Bruins10 · 08-10-2020, 06:52 PM

have you seen the new age NHL and the new age SHL? All these hockey players are prima donnas that are worried about sending P Flares and just playing Warzone or Fortnite. Like everyone else, Kaspars Claude is terrible in the kitchen when it comes to cooking. But he can bake a mean sponge cake

tweedledunn · 08-10-2020, 07:26 PM

Ray Bork is really bad at remembering to check in at the green box thingy in Residents Services in Animal Crossing to get his multiple-day bonus for more blue ticket bucks.

CanadianDuck · 08-10-2020, 07:54 PM

On the ice is where I shine, but off the ice I have found that I am not very handsy. I have never been good at fixing things or putting things together with my hands.

**leafsftw1967** · 08-10-2020, 08:09 PM

When being drafted by the Calgary Dragons sixth overall in the first round of the season fifty four SHL draft, Calgary management and a lot of the league’s management saw that Mats Marner had the potential to one day become a super star in the SHL. Coming from a hockey family that consists of SHL hall of famer Darian Scherbluk, Marner had the advantage of learning how to become a successful hockey player from a young age. In the SMJHL the last three seasons Mats Marner has been one of the hardest working juniors taking advantage of every single training opportunity provided, has been a positive vocal presence in the media, has the funds to afford all of the top end personal training for years to come and has proven to the league that he is willing to do whatever is best for his team. To back up all of these intangibles off the ice attributes Mats Marner has had all of these positive attribute translate well into his game on the ice and is having a huge breakout year in Newfoundland this season leading the SMJHL in goals with seventeen in twenty four games and also has twenty nine points to put him fourth overall having played one less game then most of the other top goal scorers.

While Marner has proven himself to be quite the capable hockey player and is showing the SHL that he has what it takes to be a superstar on and off the ice hockey wise, I would never ever trust his cooking skills or even stepping foot in the kitchen. It is a good think that his three million dollar entry level contract is a big enough salary to hire his own personal chef because if not he may not be standing here today.

Growing up in Ukraine in an old school traditional house hold, cooking was often left to the women of the household who would take great pride in making home made food from scratch with all of the Ukrainian delicacies like pierogis, cabbage rolls, beet soup, making bread from scratch, etc. As a result Marner’s mother and grandmother did all the cooking in the house growing up and he had never really cooked anything until a couple a seasons ago when Marner made the move over to North America to play hockey in the SMJHL as an eighteen year old.

After getting an apartment in Newfoundland and living on his own during the past three season, Marner has had his fair share of disasters in the kitchen. During his first night living on his own in his new apartment in Newfoundland Marner thought he would start with cooking something simple with making some pasta. However, he somehow caught the stove top element on fire while boiling water and when he came back to kitchen to check if the water was boiled after five to ten minutes he came back to a ball of flames underneath the pot. This scarred Marner big time but luckily he was able to put out the kitchen fire before burning down the entire apartment.

After this incident in his first season Marner refused to use the stove to cook anything and relied on only eat stuff he could make in the microwave. However, he somehow messed that up and was stupid enough to one day heat up food with metal Tupperware on it which caused a huge spark inside of it, destroyed his microwave and led to a mini fire that he was luckily able to put out. Following this incident Marner refused to cook anything at home at stuck to only having take out for the rest of his first season.

He tried his luck cooking again heading into his second season in Newfoundland this time getting adventurous by trying to cook some fish and chips in the oven. However, kitchen luck was not on Marner’s side yet again and he somehow set the aluminum foil at the bottom of the stove on fire which this time caused a big kitchen fire with lots of smoke. This was the final straw and after this Marner decided to hire a personal chef to do his cooking after signing his multi million dollar entry level contract putting the money to good use to make sure he ate healthy and had good tasting food that was not brunt or set on fire like any time he ever tried to cook food using the stove. Overall, Marner could probably compete for the worst cook in the SHL.

Word Count: 766

Muerto · 08-10-2020, 08:23 PM

Goku is actually terrible at understanding how to use technology. He doesn't really get how to use social media or things like that, and he even uses Internet Explorer to browse the web. He seems a bit of a technophobe and only just recently got a newer model iPhone, after using the same Nokia model for almost 12 years. A whole new world of rabbit holes awaits!

st4rface · 08-10-2020, 09:00 PM

Even with having amazing attributes offensively, my player is bad in scoring. Defender with 16 shooting range have scored only 3 goals this season, so it’s pretty obvious that scoring is one of these things.

I could add stamina and shot blocking aswell, because these attributes isn’t that trained yet and could be much more improved.

*Toast* · 08-10-2020, 10:57 PM

Jack Klompus is a real terrible cook. When on the road he once bought a microwavable Kraft Dinner cup from the hotel lobby and put it in the microwave without adding water. This caused the fire alarm to go off and the rest of the team wasn't pleased they had to leave just for Klompus' dumb mistake.

Code:
58

Obsidian311 · 08-10-2020, 11:02 PM

I am absolutely terrible at rolling blunts. Yes that is right, Blunt Man himself can't roll a blunt. They are like my kryptonite. Joints, yep. Bong, no problem, blunt... Might as well just be calculus.

***Gwdjohnson*** · 08-10-2020, 11:34 PM

Now you say as some sort of fact that we are all good at hockey, but the fact is that that is exactly what Gabe Johnson is bad at. The sport of hockey. Gabe is known to be a liability on the ice, even in his prime age where he should supposedly be at his best. Maybe his best is just slightly less bad?

Thor · 08-11-2020, 12:15 AM

Turns out that while he thought he was good at everything, Odinson can't go to the bathroom without causing something he refers to as a 'shit storm'. Not sure what he means by that, but I don't want to experience one.

Jumbobone19 · 08-11-2020, 12:30 AM

I am pure trash in the realm of music. Whatever it is I cannot do it. I cannot sing at all. It just sounds like a high pitch cat giving birth. It doesnt stop there. I cannot play any musical instruments either. Unless you count guitar hero cuz I can kill that. But real life instruments, I lack the mental capacity and skillset to play even the easiest of tunes.

Chris-McZehrl · 08-11-2020, 03:28 AM

Hey its McZ.

For me its the public zone as terrible zone. I am so often in trouble and mostly never be wanted in that trouble. That really hurts me but I dont know how I can be good at that.

**OrbitingDeath** · 08-11-2020, 07:35 AM

Even while Atreides now hit the 1300 tpe treshold, he is still horrible at icehockey, while other players can score over a point per game, he is just there to pick up the scraps. He is a teamplayer, but there is not much he's doing for the team. He wont give up hope though as he might enter the record books as worst possible player at xxxx tpe.

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us