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steveoiscool · 01-29-2021, 04:22 PM

(1st Media)

Since I'm new to the league and participating in the draft this weekend, I thought I'd introduce myself to you guys. The names Sven Svechnikov, and you'd do well to remember it since it'll soon be the best Sven in the league. This isn't a team ranking thread, it's a Sven ranking thread.

1. Sven Svechnikov: The complete package. He's got dirty fuckin' dangles, he's got the wheels, he's got the snipes. The blue line might as well be renamed to "the Sven line". Goalies fear him, women love him, children want to be him. Defense doesn't matter when all you do is score. Any team that passes on this Sven will forever rue the day they missed on the man that changed the league.

2-?. Every other Sven: It's regrettable. I feel for my other Svens, but you just can't teach talent and God-given gifts. They can all rest easy at least knowing that they're above the rest of the league at least by sharing a first name with the man, the myth, the legend.

I look forward to seeing you all at the draft, may you all have good luck. You're going to need it.