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KC15 · 06-21-2021, 06:54 AM

Skinner Boy - a parody of the first verse of Jethro Tull's Aqualung

Sitting in the sin bin
Eyeing oppo wings with bad intent
Blood is running from his nose
Sweaty fingers smearing drenched jerseys
Hey, Skinner Boy

Urq660 · 06-21-2021, 07:10 AM

Take the Hit (Defenseman’s Anthem)

To the tune of Take It Off by The Donnas (if you don’t recognise the name, I promise you’ll recognise the song!):

I’m on my second shift
But I’ve had a few before
You’re trying hard to jink
But I think that I want you on the floor
Uh huh, yeah on the floor

Come on and take the hit (take the hit)
Take the hit, winger, from me
Go on and take the hit (take the hit)
Cos I hit who I want and you’re what I see

It goes 1, 2, 3
Stop staring at the puck
Don’t waste my time, skate close to me
I promise I’ll f**k you up
Uh huh, I’ll f**k you up

Come on and take the hit (take the hit)
Take the hit, centre, from me
Go on and take the hit (take the hit)
Cos I hit who I want and you’re what I see

**OrbitingDeath** · 06-21-2021, 07:24 AM

I got my first real speed skate
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Skated it till my toe nails bled
It was the summer of '69

Me and some guys from school
Had a team and we tried real hard
Jimmy Jimmy quit and Wasty got married
I shoulda known we'd never get far
Oh when I look back now
That winter seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a goal to score
Spent my evenin's down at the pond
And that's when I met you
Standin' on your mama's skates
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life
Back in the winter of '69

jRuutu · 06-21-2021, 07:39 AM

Players in this league
There's some players in this league
There's some players in this league
There's some players this league (Hol' up)
I said certified player, seven days a week
Wet-ass jersey, make that pullout game weak, woo (Ah)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you f'n with some wet-ass jersey
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass jersey
Give me everything you got for this wet-ass jersey

Beat it up, player, catch a penalty
Extra long and extra hard
Put this jersey right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card
Hop on the bench, I wanna play
I clap while it's on your face
Pass on my tape, look in my eyes
This stick is coming for you, come take a dive
Tie me up like I'm getting away
Let's roleplay, I'll be a grinder
I want you to shoot that big slapper right in the top corner
Make it rain, make me scream
Out in the open, make a play
I don't pass, I don't care
But let me tell you how I got this ring (Ayy, ayy)

***Inf1d3l*** · 06-21-2021, 07:50 AM

Never gonna score a goal
Never gonna take the shot
Never gonna win the game
And be Captain

Never gonna block a shot
Never gonna take a hit
Never gonna sacrifice
My body

Nictox · 06-21-2021, 07:57 AM

CEO, general manager
Born in season 46
Joe-seph
Joseph Kay-ohs
CEO, general manager
Born in season 46
Joe-seph
Joseph Kay-ohs

Come on, Joseph, you can do it
Shoot the puck, put your back into it
Tell us why, show us how
Look at where you came from, look at you now
Calgary and Edmonton and Buffalo
Amateurs, can fucking suck it
Fuck their wives, drink their blood
Come on, Joe, get 'em!

RIP Dangel #AD26 | RIP TDZ

WildfireMicro · 06-21-2021, 08:02 AM

I'm not much of a song lyrics guy even though I once did write a song parody for the ISFL but given how long that took me I will just post a song title

"Ain't no rest for the skater"

***By-Tor*** · 06-21-2021, 08:25 AM

YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT, BUT IF YOU TRY ENOUGH TIMES, YOU MAY FINALLY WIN A WJC. CONGRATS DACH.

by The Rolling Stones

(25 words)

Credit to enigmatic, Merica, and tweedledunn for sigs

*Fluw* · 06-21-2021, 08:26 AM

We’re Dming away,
Do you want to join,
My team, ill join it anyway,
FA’s another day to sign you,
Chatting away,
I’ll be coming for your rights okay?

Tamp-er me! (Tamper me)
Sign me now! (Tamper me)
I will sign!
During Free agencyyy

So needless to say,
I’m done and gone,
I’ll be leaving today,
Secretly feeling that tampering’s OK,
Don’t say it anyway,
It’s HO who gonna have to worry,

Tamp-er me! (Tamper me)
Sign me now! (Tamper me)
I will sign!
During Free agencyyy

Oh the things that you say,
Is it a joke or
You’re all trying to get me to surrender,
You’re trying away,
I’ll be joining your team anyway.

Tamp-er me! (Tamper me)
Sign me now! (Tamper me)
I will sign!
During Free agencyyy

I will sign! ( Tamper me)
During Free agencyyy (Sign me now, tamper me)
(Tamper me, Tamper me)
(Sign me now, Tamper me)
(TAMPER ME)

pat · 06-21-2021, 08:53 AM

Shoot, baby, shoot, baby Kraken will mess you up
Lind and Hale gonna score so much there ain't a lot to think about
So try and get into our zone and Granny gonna beat you up
We've got Bjorn, and Hale
Don't forget about Ponaire
You've just let Ramza shoot a bunch
You know Numbers? He's got rebounds
You'll be smothered, you'll be covered
Watch as Gino smacks you 'round
Passing quicker than FedEx, never reaching apex
Just like Blixstrom sniping goals, you are inclined
To watch the Kraken get the Four Star, Season 60 is their time

Kraken

Grapehead · 06-21-2021, 09:27 AM

Calling back to old classics eh? Well then I'd like to submit again my classic: "Flemmy and the Jets"

An homage to the S37 Challenge Cup Champion Winnipeg Jets! @Nereus

enigmatic · 06-21-2021, 09:29 AM

The Winnipeg Aurora fan anthem, in the style of "Why Don't You Get A Job"

My friend's got a favourite hockey team, man, he hates those dicks
He tells me every day
He says, "Man, I really gotta do a switch
In a 'jumpin' on a bandwagon' kind of way"
They sit on their ass, he works his hands to the bone
To give them money every gameday
But they want more money just to sell more merch
Well, my friend, you gotta say
I won't pay, I won't pay ya, no way
Na-na, why don't you get a win?
Say no way, say no way-ah, no way
Na-na, why don't you get a win?

gucci · 06-21-2021, 09:36 AM

Oh the stars at night are big and bright... deep in the heart of Ontario
The city sky is wide and high... deep in the heart of Ontario

Sorry Texans

GCool · 06-21-2021, 10:01 AM

'LA Panther Vibes'

to the tune of 'Alabama Pines' by Jason Isbell

Well I moved into my locker
If you'd call it that a year ago
Didn't do what I was supposed to do
Hardly remember my line anymore
No award for me, kind of vanishes away

And I can't get to sleep at night,
Jimmy and Sloth are loud and bright
And Segi's back again for 30 years
Prob'ly blocked a shot from every single player
Who's come into our town, I've tried it so many times

Somebody take me home
For those LA Panther vibes

**.bojo** · 06-21-2021, 10:30 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ht5RZpzPqw

Thunder, dome things
Slander, truth brings
I'll take, bullshit
Your best, insult

Always I know
You'll be so angry
Watching, waiting
posting and hating

Say it ain't so
I will not go
Turn the site off
Thank you thunderdom

Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, ha-ha
Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, ha-ha
Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, ha-ha
Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, ha-ha

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