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If Every SHL Team was a Spatially Accurate Star Wars Planet
#1

Step 1: get a spatially accurate map for the Star Wars Galaxy. Luckily for us, a nice reddit user made this.

[Image: s74gby7ikouy.jpg?ex=65184f16&is=6516fd96...height=605]

Step 2: Create a spatial layout of the teams. Sorting by color is the only obvious solution. 

[Image: SHL_Color_Wheel.PNG?ex=65184f1c&is=6516f...height=605]

Step 3: Assign Matches

Forge Philadelphia: Forges may be hot, but Ilum is cold. Thanks to the First Order, this planet is now non-existent due to their quest to one-up the Empire's death lasers. Does this mean Philadelphia will burn up and die because they are trying to one up everyone else but forgot that the OGs failed the exact same way? Probably. Cover up those exhaust ports. 

Dragons Calgary: From Wookieepedia: "To those who lived in the Unknown Regions, it was known as the Chaos." Calgary is living in their own world, unbothered by the drama of the rest of the league. They are totally fine on their own, thank you very much. 

Inferno Atlanta: According to legend, Rakata Prime's inhabitants were the first to discover hyperspace travel. They were dark side bums who went extinct. They probably didn't understand how to adapt to a changing galaxy. Take notes, Atlanta. 

Rage Manhattan: Manhattan is a poppin' place, Ahch-To is remote. But look at the similarities: an old timer or two living among a group of helpless Porgs. No one will look to them any time soon and is a perfect place to hide if you want anonymity. 

Patriotes Montreal: Jakku. Once the location of a great battle, now a bunch of scavengers fighting for scraps. I couldn't have scripted this match mush better. Just like Rey, "I'm out. See ya later" 

Specters New Orleans: Up and comers on the tibanna gas scene, Bespin, like New Orleans, wants to clock in, do the work, and clock out. Chugging along. They need to keep their eyes open for the Empire, though, or their whole operation will be for naught. 

pride San Francisco: Maybe soon they will exclaim, "I have the high ground!", but for now this team is just a burning husk of a Jedi before becoming a feared mechanical menace on Mustafar. They have hope, but only of the dark side. 

Platoon Baltimore: Utapau. S75 Baltimore: "Hello there."

Argonauts Seattle: Naboo is where all the politicians are from. Palpatine, Amidala, the "must contact me" guy. I say the two most important parts to remember about Naboo is it is the home of the Gungans and Darth Maul's lower half resides here. 

Stars Toronto: Why do we always go back to Tatooine? There are so many more interesting places in the galaxy. Everyone who goes there or is from there wants to immediately leave. Maybe Toronto can shake that mentality. 

Steelhawks Hamilton: Corellia is a manufacturing hub. Hammy was so good at manufacturing championships. Just like Corellia, they aim to keep churning them out. A hiccup here or there, but I have little doubt they will be back like the Terminator. 

Renegades Texas: Corsucant. The center of the galaxy, at least politically. Texas may need to shake down the other teams to get what they want in the coming years. Luckily for them, this planet is the perfect place to do it. 

Blizzard Edmonton: Kamino. Producing high quality clones since S70. One of the most important places to protect if you plan to win a galaxy-wide war. 

Barracuda Tampa Bay: Nal Hutta. A bunch of gangsters holed up in a stinky swamp? Checks out. 

Panthers Los Angeles: Toydaria. Mind tricks don't work on them, only money. They aren't going to make a bad deal on their way to the top. 

Aurora Winnipeg: Kessel. Literally digging the riches out of the planet. Same as Winnipeg. And they bring in others to help too, sometimes unknowingly. 

Monarchs Minnesota: Kashyyyk. At this point they are Wookiees. Maybe in a few years they can switch to Trandosha and be the hunters. 

Stampede Buffalo: Felucia. A beautiful place to go if you want to flourish. They have rancors. Buffalo has ... buffalo. 

Wolfpack New England: Mon Calamari. An important planet in the rebellion, the fish people that live here can pack a big punch. Same as New England.

syndicate Chicago: Mygeeto. Just like a Syndicate, the International Banking Clan had this planet as a stronghold. Cold and ice covered like Chicago, it is the center of riches for many people.

Step 4: Create more teams in the other sections of the color wheel 

[Image: DqlVneu.png][Image: FVlMRDN.png][Image: q30YniK.png]

Credit to enigmatic, Merica, and tweedledunn for sigs



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#2

lmao this is incredible

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#3

smh, New england is Lothal

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Czechoslovakia PROFILE || UPDATE || RAGE. Rage 
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#4

09-29-2023, 03:56 PMluke Wrote: smh, New england is Lothal

okay fish person

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#5

09-29-2023, 04:13 PMsköldpaddor Wrote: okay fish person

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:Sadge:

[Image: 0XJkcN5.png]
Czechoslovakia PROFILE || UPDATE || RAGE. Rage 
[Image: luketd.gif]




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#6

Awaiting @Carpy48 response

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#7

Well done!

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Sig by Lazyeye
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Sig by DaBoot
Knights Timber pride
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#8

" Darth Maul's lower half resides here. "

HA HA HA!

---
Ekaterina Valieva - Baltimore Platoon

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Thanks @Lazyeye for the sig!
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#9

Quote: Calgary is living in their own world, unbothered by the drama of the rest of the league. They are totally fine on their own, thank you very much.


This is far too accurate

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#10

09-29-2023, 03:56 PMluke Wrote: smh, New england is Lothal

F. Missed opportunity. That's what I get when i try to cram in a space themed hockey article at work.

[Image: DqlVneu.png][Image: FVlMRDN.png][Image: q30YniK.png]

Credit to enigmatic, Merica, and tweedledunn for sigs



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#11

cant we just get beyond mustafar

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#12

Was expecting Hammy to be in the lower levels of Coruscant. Corellia is a massive W.

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#13

09-29-2023, 02:18 PMBy-Tor Wrote: "

Specters New Orleans: Up and comers on the tibanna gas scene, Bespin, like New Orleans, wants to clock in, do the work, and clock out. Chugging along. They need to keep their eyes open for the Empire, though, or their whole operation will be for naught. 


No worries. I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever. .......I can trust Darth Vader, right?

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