The Calgary Dragons Rookie Initiation Night

So draft night came and went for the Calgary Dragons. It was unusual in the fact that GM Steelhead and Ass GM Mike Izzy normally do a crap ton of research and have several options for each pick they have. While tempting to move up for shiny new toys for the team it’s very rare that Steelhead actually pulls off a trade on draft night. But this night was different. And he not only did I t once but twice. In the first round he moved up to get Mats Marner ahead of the Chicago Syndicate who greatly coveted Marner. Steelhead was playing a hunch here that his original choice could quite possibly fall to the Dragons in the second round. As the picks rolled by the Dragon’s war room grew more excited, thinking they were going to make out like bandits and get what they considered two first round choices instead of settling for the one. As the picks wound down in the second round there was one pick to go before the Calgary night would be triumphant. On the clock were the Syndicate and feeling quite salty about the Dragon’s first round move, they took the Dragon’s intended target Cale Amundsen. Heart racing GM Steelhead went completely out of character and offered the Syndicate a deal and literally minutes after he was drafted to Chicago Amundsen was on his way to Calgary and a stunned Calgary squad was jubilant as their conservative GM decided to shake up his staff a bit this season. As the party went on into the night Goaltender Kata Vilde, known for his fun-loving antics was hatching a plot to initiate the rookies in a truly memorable fashion. So the next night the team was all gathered at the Big Parm awaiting the arrival of their new teammates. Vilde had scoured much of Canada before he was able to find a big red stretch limousine to pick Marner and Amundsen up from Calgary International airport. He has asked Dragon’s hostess with the mostest Linda to meet the lads in the Limo and provide them with refreshments on the way to the Big Parm. Barry Batsbak, the Dragons resident beer aficionado sent along a stellar selection of different beers for the lads to get started on. Once they got to the Parm, Ass GM Izzy introduced them to the team.

They were shown their lockers and went around to mingle and meet the rest of their teammates as Linda continued to provide the refreshments. Prince Devitt brought out his surprise for the new guys, presenting them each with Dragon Bullet Club Championship belts. The drink was flowing and everyone was really having a blast and spirits were running high. Vilde nodded at Maxime Bouchard and Bouchard let out a piercing whistle to get everyone’s attention. Bouchard looked at Marner and Amundsen and said I think it’s time to see what other talents you boys have. We’re going to have us a little contest. I’ve brought this karaoke machine here and I have my guitar. What’s going to happen is I’m going to start to play a song of my choosing at random. Each guy will have their turn to recognize what I’m playing and then sing along to it through the karaoke machine. You will be judged on how quickly you recognize the song and how well you sing along. Your judges for this event will be Mikael Choybuk, Brennan Kennedy Jr and Shooter McGavin. While I normally only listen to death metal ya cunts I’ll stick to something you’ll have a chance at recognizing. Marner since you were the first-round pick, you’ll go first. Marner looks around at the laughing Dragons and grabs the microphone. He nervously looks over at the judges and nearly wets himself as he sees Shooter dressed up with a huge Tina Turner wig, lipstick and huge fake boobs. Since most judging panels have a female Shooter thought it would be a hoot to get all dragged up. Bouchard finishes tuning up and asks Marner if he’s ready. Marner grimly nods as Bouchard hits the opening strains of 80s an 80’s classic by the Divinyls, I touch myself. Marner immediately recognizes it and doesn’t hesitate and breaks into the song.

Vilde says all right let’s go to the Judges, Choybuk…. That shows a true first round talent there Kata, absolutely magnificent job!  Vilde: OK Shooter?  I think I kind of resemble the chick from the Divinyls eh? My boobs are bigger though.  Vilde: OK then TMI. How bout you BK? I think that was a brilliant song choice by Bouchard for a rookie initiation. And Marner absolutely fuckin nailed it! Kata: Ok then thanks boys.

Bouchard looks over at Amundsen and asks you ready for your turn rook? Amundsen gulps nervously knowing he can’t sing for shit and only hopes he can get this over quickly. He nods his head and Bouchard cranks it up. But the fix may be in as he grabs an acoustic guitar and starts playing She Bangs by Ricky Martin! Amundsen about shits himself as he recognizes the tune and thinks his only shot may be to dance like Ricky Martin. Here we go:

As the jaws in the locker room hit the floor Vilde laughing his ass off says OK judges, thoughts?  Choybuk. I can only help he plays better in net than he sings or he’s gonna be in the J for a long ass time.  Vilde Thanks bro, Shooter what ya got?  I got a migraine from listening to that for fucks sakes! Vilde: BK?  BK: That may have been the worst rookie song in the entire history of the Dragons!

Vilde: Ok lads it’s quite clear who won this contest. Unbeknownst to our rooks here Atlas Rush was taping their performance, As the loser Mr. Amundsen your penalty will be the following. You must post that video of you singing She Bangs on your official SHL twitter feed! Amundsen looks mortified by he nods his head in agreement, wondering if this night could possibly get any worse. Yes, yes it can Cale.  Now by now you’ve heard of the Dragon’s reputation for being food loving freaks. So naturally what else should two rookies do but show us just how much you love food. We’re going to have a chicken parm eating contest! Nicky Pedersen Jr has been preparing the Dragons signature dish on his grill all night. Since Peds wanted to see a serious chow down he decided to grill instead of bread the parms so the lads will be able to eat more. The current Dragons rookie record for parm eating was set by Joseph Weston who devoured 17 parms his rookie season. The loser of this round will have to carry Peds bags around the entire first season the come up to the Dragons.  Now having been shown up in the first contest Amundsen was ready to go all out. Knowing he would probably be going to the Dragons, Amundsen had done his research and had known this day was coming. He had sought out parm challenges to practice and we have an example of his training video here:

Ok boys you ready Peds shouts? As many parms as you can in 15 minutes and go!!  Amundsen starts off like a house on fire and quickly shows his practice had paid off. Marner is desperately trying to keep up, knowing he was the first rounder and not wanting to be shown up. But Marner soon falls behind and the effort expended starts to make him feel a bit queasy. As he watches Amundsen plowing through parm after parm everyone hears a loud rumble from Marner’s gut as he gets up and sprints to the toilet. As Marner retches away in agony the Dragons are chanting Eat! Eat! Eat! As Amundsen tries hard to redeem himself for his poor efforts earlier in the evening. With 2 minutes to go Amundsen is at 13 parms. He tries to kick it into high gear but to no avail as his guts start the telltale rumble too. Soon Amundsen sprints to the toilet and the Dragons split themselves with laughter to the sound of dueling pukers.


When the lads finally get their stomachs settled enough to come back Vilde told them we have one more contest tonight. And we’re going to settle something there’s been rumors off for quite awhile with our team. It seems there’s quite a rivalry between Esa Parmborg and Otis B Driftwood as to who’s faster and would win a race. Well tonight we’re going to settle this once and for all. The rookies start sighing with relief thinking they would just get to watch this one. So here’s the deal Vilde says. There is going to be a race through the Big Parm. We’ll start on the upper concourse level, race around that, down the stairs to the main concourse level, around that and then down the stairs to the ice and across it. Here’s the twist. This is going to be a 3-legged race with a rookie tied to each of Parmborg and Driftwood. Marner and Driftwood will be paired against the mighty parm eating duo of Amundsen and Parmborg. You must race around the entire level of each concourse, stop at a booth and chug 2 beers, down the stairs, same on the next concourse, down the stairs to the ice. Here you must untie yourselves and the veteran will have to push the seated rookie across the ice and into the goal at the other end to be declared the winner. The winning team will not only get bragging rights but will also get to give half of their counterpart’s next year’s salary to a charity of their choice.


OK here we are on the top level of the Big Parm ready to start the race. And we’re off with Driftwood and Marner quickly taking the lead, being more agile than the goalie and the giant Parmborg. They quickly gain the advantage and reach the beer stand first and slam down the beers, Marner looking green still from the parm contest. They head down the stairs as Parmborg and Amundsen finally make it to the stand. As they agreed upon Parmborg quickly slammed the 2 beers as there was never anything said about each having to drink one. They head down the stairs and Amundsen has a brilliant idea how they can catch up. On the next level they unveil their new strategy and start to catch up. Let’s take a look;

They’re catching up and they reach the beer stand on the main level at the same time. Marner and Driftwood quickly slam their beers but thanks to their new strategy, Parmborg and Amundsen can’t get off the floor. Vilde steps in to help them out and he pours the beers into Parmborg’s mouth. He gives them a quick shove to get them going again but he pushes a little too hard and they start rolling down the steps faster and faster until they hit Driftwood and Marner and all end up in a huge pile down by the rink. They untie themselves and start pushing their rookies across the ice. The competitive fire that Steelhead saw in his rookies is out now as they grab and hit each other trying to wipe the other guy out. The giant Parmborg is really struggling to bend down far enough to push Amundsen. He loses his feet and goes down in a heap as Driftwood and Marner go flying by. Driftwood gives Marner a huge shove and sends him flying ass first into the net. Ass GM Izzy lights the lamp and we have our winners!  The entire Dragons team stands up and applauds as the rookies sheepishly get to their feet. Everyone heads back to the locker-room where Linda is waiting with more fermented malt beverages and cigars Vilde had flown in from Cuba for the occasion. Taking it all in the good-natured fun that was intended Marner looks over and Amundsen and says I can’t wait until it’s our turn to do this to some poor bastards. GM Steelhead proudly hands his new rookies their Dragon’s jerseys and another draft for the Calgary Dragons has its book closed. Until the next one.



2064 words double media

Dusty Rhodes || LW #24 || S67 || New Orleans Spectres|| 1344TPE
Alias: The American Dream
Born: 11/4/2004
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 230 lbs
Number: 24
Birth Place: Austin TX USA
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SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
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Transactions:
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S66 Drafted 4th Rd 44th Ova by Anchorage Armada

Awards:
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Kata Vilde || G #1 || S41 || Calgary Dragons || Retired Hall of Fame
Alias: The Madness
Born: 11/4/2000
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 215 lbs
Number: 1
Birth Place: Marstrand, Sweden
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SHL Regular Season Statistics:
S44| CAL| GP 33| W: 17| L: 13| OTL: 3| SV%: .916| GAA: 2.61| SO: 1
S45| CAL| GP 41| W: 17| L: 22| OTL: 2| SV%: .904| GAA: 2.98| SO: 3
S46| CAL| GP 44| W: 22| L: 18| OTL: 4| SV%: .914| GAA: 2.84| SO: 2
S47| CAL| GP 44| W: 24| L: 14| OTL: 6| SV%: .912| GAA: 2.79| SO: 1
S48| CAL| GP 44| W: 21| L: 17| OTL: 6| SV%: .907| GAA: 2.95| SO: 0
S49| CAL| GP 44| W: 31| L: 10| OTL: 3| SV%: .916| GAA: 2.63| SO: 3
S50| CAL| GP 44| W: 23| L: 18| OTL: 3| SV%: .904| GAA: 2.98| SO: 2
S51| CAL| GP 44| W: 25| L: 17| OTL: 2| SV%: .915| GAA: 2.78| SO: 3
S52| CAL| GP 44| W: 20| L: 20| OTL: 4| SV%: .900| GAA: 3.18| SO: 0
S53| CAL| GP 44| W: 27| L: 14| OTL: 2| SV%: .901| GAA: 2.66| SO: 4
S54| CAL| GP 44| W: 21| L: 19| OTL: 4| SV%: .890| GAA: 3.32| SO: 2
S55| CAL| GP 44| W: 26| L: 13| OTL: 5| SV%: .915| GAA: 2.53| SO: 4
S56| CAL| GP 44| W: 34| L: 6| OTL: 4| SV%: .936| GAA: 1.65| SO: 9
S57| CAL| GP 48| W: 29| L: 17| OTL: 2| SV%: .908| GAA: 2.69| SO: 8
S58| CAL| GP 49| W: 29| L: 17| OTL: 3| SV%: .910| GAA: 2.54| SO: 4
S59| CAL| GP 43| W: 24| L: 15| OTL: 3| SV%: .918| GAA: 2.66| SO: 3
S60| CAL| GP 39| W: 23| L: 11| OTL: 4| SV%: .923| GAA: 2.37| SO: 4

------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Statistics:
S44| CAL| GP 4| W: 1| L: 3| OTL: 0| SV%: .893| GAA: 3.26| SO: 0
S46| CAL| GP 10| W: 6| L: 4| OTL: 0| SV%: .913| GAA: 2.38| SO: 1
S47| CAL| GP 15| W: 8| L: 4| OTL: 3| SV%: .906| GAA: 3.07| SO: 1
S48| CAL| GP 11| W: 6| L: 4| OTL: 1| SV%: .916| GAA: 2.68| SO: 1
S49| CAL| GP 7| W: 3| L: 4| OTL: 0| SV%: .898| GAA: 3.57| SO:2
S50| CAL| GP 20| W: 16| L: 4| OTL: 0| SV%: .920| GAA: 2.39| SO:1
S51| CAL| GP 7| W: 3| L: 3| OTL: 1| SV%: .905| GAA: 3.48| SO:0
S52| CAL| GP 13| W: 6| L: 5| OTL: 2| SV%: .913| GAA: 2.60| SO:1
S53| CAL| GP 7| W: 3| L: 3| OTL: 1| SV%: .914| GAA: 2.90| SO:0
S54| CAL| GP 5| W: 1| L: 3| OTL: 1| SV%: .912| GAA: 2.61| SO:0
S55| CAL| GP 6| W: 2| L: 4| OTL: 0| SV%: .910| GAA: 3.65| SO:0
S56| CAL| GP 6| W: 2| L: 4| OTL: 0| SV%: .894| GAA: 4.25| SO:0
S57| CAL| GP 6| W: 2| L: 4| OTL: 0| SV%: .899| GAA: 3.26| SO:0
S58| CAL| GP 5| W: 1| L: 2| OTL: 2| SV%: .908| GAA: 3.86| SO:1
S59| CAL| GP 6| W: 2| L: 4| OTL: 0| SV%: .923| GAA: 3.19| SO:0
S60| CAL| GP 7| W: 5| L: 2| OTL: 0| SV%: .910| GAA: 2.72| SO:0
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SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
S40| KEL| GP 10| W: 03| L: 03| OTL: 0| SV%: .871| GAA: 2.94| SO: 0
S41| KEL| GP 46| W: 23| L: 13| OTL: 7| SV%: .876| GAA: 2.79| SO: 3
S42| KEL| GP 40| W: 29| L: 08| OTL: 2| SV%: .892| GAA: 2.50| SO: 0
S43| HAL| GP 45| W: 17| L: 19| OTL: 8| SV%: .869| GAA: 3.19| SO: 3
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SMJHL Playoff Statistics:
S41| KEL| GP 15| W: 12| L: 03| OTL: 0| SV%: .882| GAA: 2.64| SO: 0
S42| KEL| GP 10| W: 08| L: 01| OTL: 1| SV%: .915| GAA: 1.71| SO: 1
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IIHF Round Robin Statistics:
S44| SWE| GP 8| W: 2| L: 6| OTL: 0| SV%: .882| GAA: 4.13| SO: 0
S45| SWE| GP 10| W: 4| L: 5| OTL: 1| SV%: .912| GAA: 3.23| SO: 0
S46| SWE| GP 12| W: 7| L: 4| OTL: 1| SV%: .896| GAA: 3.33| SO: 0
S47| SWE| GP 2| W: 1| L: 1| OTL: 0| SV%: .892| GAA: 4.51| SO: 0
S48| SWE| GP 4| W: 1| L: 2| OTL: 1| SV% .848| GAA: 5.01| SO: 0:
S49| SWE| GP 10| W: 6| L: 3| OTL: 0| SV% .926| GAA: 2.21| SO: 0:
S50| SWE| GP 8| W: 2| L: 5| OTL: 1| SV% .905| GAA: 3.34| SO: 0:
S51| SWE| GP 12| W: 6| L: 6| OTL: 0| SV% .906| GAA: 3.10| SO: 0:
S52| SWE| GP 12| W: 8| L: 3| OTL: 0| SV% .927| GAA: 2.56| SO: 1:
S53| SWE| GP 11| W: 6| L: 5| OTL: 0| SV% .923| GAA: 2.92| SO: 0:
S54| SWE| GP 12| W: 7| L: 3| OTL: 2| SV% .916| GAA: 2.80| SO: 1:
S55| SWE| GP 12| W: 7| L: 4| OTL: 1| SV% .910| GAA: 3.08| SO: 0:
S56| SWE| GP 6| W: 4| L: 2| OTL: 0| SV% .899| GAA: 2.67| SO: 0:
S57| SWE| GP 1| W: 0| L: 1| OTL: 0| SV% .788| GAA: 7.18| SO: 0:
S58| SWE| GP 2| W: 1| L: 1| OTL: 0| SV% .872| GAA: 3.00| SO: 0:
S59| LAT| GP 9| W: 2| L: 4| OTL: 2| SV% .913| GAA: 4.13| SO: 0:
S60| LAT| GP 4| W: 0| L: 3| OTL: 0| SV% .902| GAA: 4.27| SO: 0:
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IIHF Medal Round Statistics:
S46| SWE| GP 1| W: 0| L: 1| OTL: 0| SV%: .806| GAA: 7.12| SO: 0
S52| SWE| GP 3| W: 2| L: 1| OTL: 0| SV%: .933| GAA: 2.34| SO: 1
S53| SWE| GP 1| W: 0| L: 1| OTL: 0| SV%: .875| GAA: 5.00| SO: 0
S54| SWE| GP 1| W: 0| L: 1| OTL: 0| SV%: .907| GAA: 4.05| SO: 0
S55| SWE| GP 2| W: 1| L: 1| OTL: 0| SV%: .860| GAA: 5.31| SO: 0
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Transactions:
S40 Drafted 3rd Rd 24th Ova by Kelowna Knights
S41 Drafted 1st Rd 14th Ova by Calgary Dragons
S43 Traded from Kelowna Knights to Halifax Raiders for S43 Halifax 4th and S44 Halifax 2nd  
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Awards:
S40 SWE: WJC Cup
S40 Kel: 4 Star Cup
S41 Kel: 4 Star Cup
S42 Kel: 4 Star Cup
S42 Kel: SMJHL Top Goalie Nomination
S42 Kel: SMJHL Playoff MVP Nomination
S44 Cal: SHL All Rookie Team
S44 Cal: SHL ROY Nomination
S46 Cal: SHL McBride Nomination
S46 Cal: 3rd Team All Star
S47 Cal: SHL McBride Nomination
S48 SWE: Gold Medal
S49 SWE: IIHF best Goaltender
S49 Cal: 2nd Team All Star
S49 Cal: SHL McBride Nomination
S50 Cal: Challenge Cup
S50 Cal: Ratzov Trophy Nominee
S51 Cal: SHL McBride Nomination
S51 Cal: 2nd Team All Star
S52 SWE: IIHF best Goaltender
S53 SWE: IIHF best Goaltender
S56 Cal: 1st Team All Star
S56 Cal: McBride Nomination
S56 Cal: Mike Honcho Award
S60 Cal: 3rd Team All Star



Vladimir Lidstrom || D #5 || S23 || Texas Renegades/Impact || Retired Texas Hall of Fame
Alias: Vliddy
Born: 11/4/1993
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 190 lbs
Number: 5
Birth Place: Krylbo, Sweden
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SHL Regular Season Statistics:
S25| TEX| GP 50| G: 09| A: 23| P: 32|P/M : +14| PIM: 33| H: 66| SOG: 47 | SB: 68
S26| TEX| GP 50| G: 09| A: 21| P: 30|P/M : -04| PIM: 21| H: 66| SOG: 91 | SB: 81
S27| TEX| GP 50| G: 06| A: 24| P: 30|P/M : -02| PIM: 46| H: 47| SOG: 104 | SB: 75
S28| TEX| GP 50| G: 10| A: 25| P: 35|P/M : +10| PIM: 18| H: 54| SOG: 97 | SB: 59
S29| TEX| GP 50| G: 06| A: 25| P: 31|P/M : +08| PIM: 18| H: 55| SOG: 95 | SB: 67
S30| TEX| GP 50| G: 11| A: 45| P: 56|P/M : +00| PIM: 04| H: 21| SOG: 108 | SB: 74
S31| TEX| GP 50| G: 13| A: 37| P: 50|P/M : -10| PIM: 00| H: 05| SOG: 105 | SB: 78
S32| TEX| GP 50| G: 07| A: 38| P: 45|P/M : +03| PIM: 04| H: 23| SOG: 104 | SB: 67
S33| TEX| GP 50| G: 11| A: 26| P: 38|P/M : -20| PIM: 26| H: 81| SOG: 99 | SB: 73
S34| TEX| GP 50| G: 07| A: 35| P: 42|P/M : +04| PIM: 08| H: 04| SOG: 91 | SB: 81
S35| TEX| GP 50| G: 07| A: 19| P: 26|P/M : -03| PIM: 02| H: 04| SOG: 95 | SB: 55
S36| TEX| GP 50| G: 05| A: 12| P: 17|P/M : -08| PIM: 02| H: 05| SOG: 21 | SB: 38
S37| TEX| GP 50| G: 04| A: 11| P: 15|P/M : -07| PIM: 00| H: 08| SOG: 24 | SB: 42
S38| TEX| GP 50| G: 03| A: 25| P: 28|P/M : -04| PIM: 12| H: 46| SOG: 75 | SB: 73
S39| TEX| GP 50| G: 10| A: 25| P: 35|P/M : +17| PIM: 14| H: 62| SOG: 56 | SB: 73
S40| TEX| GP 50| G: 06| A: 22| P: 28|P/M : +01| PIM: 18| H: 39| SOG: 61 | SB: 79
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Career| TEX| GP 800| G: 125| A: 413| P: 538|P/M : -01| PIM: 260| H: 586| SOG: 1273 | SB: 1083
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SHL Playoff Statistics:
S26| TEX| GP 07| G: 04| A: 03| P: 07|P/M : -01| PIM: 02| H: 14| SOG: 13 | SB: 11
S27| TEX| GP 06| G:02| A: 01| P: 03|P/M : +04| PIM: 07| H: 04| SOG: 10 | SB: 11
S28| TEX| GP 05| G: 00| A: 03| P: 03|P/M : -02| PIM: 00| H: 06| SOG: 10 | SB: 09
S29| TEX| GP 06| G: 02| A: 02| P: 04|P/M : +01| PIM: 02| H: 06| SOG: 11 | SB: 08
S30| TEX| GP 06| G:00| A: 05| P: 05|P/M : +02| PIM: 00| H: 02| SOG: 11 | SB: 11
S31| TEX| GP 06| G:00| A: 03| P: 03|P/M : +00| PIM: 00| H: 02| SOG: 11 | SB: 10
S34| TEX| GP 13| G: 02| A: 06| P: 08|P/M : +03| PIM: 00| H: 01| SOG: 28 | SB: 20
S35| TEX| GP 06| G: 00| A: 05| P: 05|P/M : +01| PIM: 00| H: 00| SOG: 06 | SB: 10
S36| TEX| GP 16| G: 02| A: 04| P: 06|P/M : +07| PIM: 00| H: 02| SOG: 11 | SB: 16
S37| TEX| GP 04| G: 00| A: 00| P: 00|P/M : +00| PIM: 00| H: 00| SOG: 01 | SB: 03
S40| TEX| GP 05| G: 00| A: 02| P: 02|P/M : -03| PIM: 00| H: 02| SOG: 04 | SB: 10
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Career| TEX| GP77| G: 12| A: 34| P: 46|P/M : +12| PIM: 11| H: 39| SOG: 116 | SB: 119
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SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
S22| MTL| GP 40| G:04| A: 19| P: 23|P/M : +04| PIM: 22| H: 42| SOG: 33 | SB: 45
S23| MTL| GP 40| G: 14| A: 23| P: 37|P/M : +03| PIM: 31| H: 43| SOG: 118 | SB: 27
S24| MTL| GP 52| G: 11| A: 29| P: 40|P/M : -02| PIM: 39| H: 32| SOG: 99 | SB: 60
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Career| MTL| GP 132| G: 29| A: 71| P: 100|P/M : +05| PIM: 92| H: 117| SOG: 250 | SB: 132
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SMJHL Playoff Statistics:
S22| MTL| GP 09| G: 00| A: 02| P: 02|P/M : -07| PIM: 20| H: 15| SOG: 02 | SB: 11
S23| MTL| GP 07| G: 03| A: 00| P: 03|P/M : +02| PIM: 02| H: 12| SOG: 29 | SB: 03
S24| MTL| GP 17| G: 02| A: 15| P: 17|P/M : +01| PIM: 18| H: 11| SOG: 32 | SB: 14
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Career| MTL| GP 33| G: 05| A: 17| P: 22|P/M : -04| PIM: 40| H: 38| SOG: 63 | SB: 28
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IIHF Statistics:
S24| SWE| GP 11| G: 00| A: 00| P: 00|P/M : -03| PIM: 00| H: 04| SOG: 05 | SB: 02
S25| SWE| GP 11| G: 00| A:01| P: 01|P/M : -04| PIM: 04| H: 03| SOG: 00 | SB: 09
S26| SWE| GP 12| G: 01| A: 04| P: 05|P/M : +03| PIM: 00| H: 00| SOG: 12 | SB: 16
S27| SWE| GP 13| G: 03| A: 07| P: 10|P/M : +04| PIM: 06| H: 04| SOG: 14 | SB: 14
S28| SWE| GP 13| G:02| A: 07| P: 09|P/M : +04| PIM: 04| H: 25| SOG: 22 | SB:17
S29| SWE| GP 13| G: 04| A: 05| P: 09|P/M : +00| PIM: 04| H: 21| SOG: 24 | SB: 21
S30| SWE| GP 10| G: 01| A: 08| P: 09|P/M : +03| PIM: 12| H: 11| SOG: 21 | SB: 12
S31| SWE| GP 12| G: 00| A: 08| P: 08|P/M : -01| PIM: 12| H: 03| SOG: 17 | SB: 12
S32| SWE| GP 11| G: 03| A: 02| P: 05|P/M : +01| PIM: 08| H: 06| SOG: 22 | SB: 06
S33| SWE| GP 10| G: 01| A: 03| P: 04|P/M : -08| PIM: 10| H: 24| SOG: 19 | SB: 23
S34| SWE| GP 12| G: 01| A: 07| P: 08|P/M : +04| PIM: 12| H: 14| SOG: 19 | SB: 16
S35| SWE| GP 13| G: 01| A: 06| P: 07|P/M : -03| PIM: 00| H: 04| SOG: 23 | SB: 12
S36| SWE| GP 10| G: 01| A: 05| P: 06|P/M : -04| PIM: 00| H: 01| SOG: 13 | SB: 14
S37| SWE| GP 11| G: 01| A: 07| P: 08|P/M : +02| PIM: 00| H: 02| SOG: 09 | SB: 08
S38| SWE| GP 10| G: 03| A: 02| P: 05|P/M : +02| PIM: 04| H: 00| SOG: 16 | SB: 12
S39| SWE| GP 11| G: 07| A: 00| P: 07|P/M : +02| PIM: 00| H: 06| SOG: 13 | SB: 11
S40| SWE| GP 10| G:00| A: 02| P: 02|P/M : -02| PIM: 02| H: 02| SOG: 08 | SB: 18
S41| SWE| GP 10| G:00| A: 05| P: 05|P/M : -01| PIM: 00| H: 01| SOG: 11 | SB: 13
------------------------------------------------------------
Career| SWE| GP 203| G: 29| A: 79| P: 108|P/M : -01| PIM: 78| H: 131| SOG: 268 | SB: 236
------------------------------------------------------------


Transactions:
S22 Drafted 4th Rd 20th Ova by Montreal Impact
S23 Drafted 1st Rd 9th Ova by Texas Renegades

------------------------------------------------------------

Awards:
S23 Mtl: Christopher Klose Award
S23 Mtl: Petr Klimek Award
S23 Mtl: Armin Brovalchuk Award
S23 Mtl: Kurtis Hunter Award
S24 Mtl: Alternate Captain
S24 Mtl: Darian Scherbluk Award
S25 Tex: SHL All Rookie Team
S26 Tex: Alternate Captain
S27 Tex: Alternate Captain
S28 Tex: Alternate Captain
S27 Swe: Silver Medal
S28 Swe: Gold Medal
S29 Mtl: Elected to Montreal Hall of Fame
S29 Tex: Alternate Captain
S29 Swe: Gold Medal
S30 Tex: Alternate Captain
S30 Tex: Stevens Award Finalist
S30 Tex: 2nd Team All Star
S31 Tex: Alternate Captain
S31 Tex: 2nd Team All Star
S32 Tex: 2nd Team All Star
S33 Tex: Captain
S34 Tex: 3rd Team All Star
S34 Tex: Captain
S35 Swe: Silver Medal
S36 Tex: Challenge Cup Winner
S39 Tex: Alternate Captain
S40 Tex: Alternate Captain

Kata Vilde killing that double media.

Get paid baby!!

Linda!

<3

Rikkert Biemans || #21 || S66  || Tampa Bay Barracuda || Katth#7745
-----------------------------------------------
Drafted 8th overall by the Kelowna Knights
Drafted 6th overall by the Texas Renegades and traded to Montreal Patriotes
Traded to St. Louis Scarecrows
Traded to Tampa Bay Barracuda
S67 WJC Gold Medal - Dach
S70 IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
S72 IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
S73 All Star Game (1st appearance)
S74 IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
-----------------------------------------------
SMJHL:
S65 || GP: 66 || G: 14 || A: 11 || P: 25 || SHT%: 13.6% || Hits: 85
S66 || GP: 66 || G: 19 || A: 20 || P: 39 || SHT%: 13.8% || Hits: 93
S67 || GP: 66 || G: 36 || A: 32 || P: 68 || SHT%: 18.6% || Hits: 129
-----------------------------------------------
SHL:
S68 || GP: 66 || G: 29 || A: 25 || P: 54 || SHT%: 16.8% || GWG: 6 || Hits: 108
S69 || GP: 66 || G: 12 || A: 38 || P: 50 || SHT%: 08.4% || GWG: 3 || Hits: 72
S70 || GP: 66 || G: 22 || A: 32 || P: 54 || SHT%: 13.5% || GWG: 0 || Hits: 73
S71 || GP: 66 || G: 31 || A: 40 || P: 71 || SHT%: 14.8% || GWG: 2 || Hits: 100
S72 || GP: 66 || G: 38 || A: 31 || P: 69 || SHT%: 16.6% || GWG: 7 || Hits: 102
S73 || GP: 66 || G: 38 || A: 43 || P: 81 || SHT%: 13.0% || GWG: 6 || Hits: 94
S74 || GP: 66 || G: 42 || A: 57 || P: 99 || SHT%: 16.3% || GWG: 7 || Hits: 100


 



Barry Batsbak || #92 || S46 || Calgary Dragons || 2,080 TPE (peak) || Katth#7745
Alias: The Bird
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 204 lbs
Number: 92
Country: Austria
Render: Evgeny Kuznetsov
-----------------------------------------------
SHL:
S48 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 03 || A: 10 || P: 13 || +/- -10 || SHT%: 03.66% || FO%: 50.49%
S49 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 10 || A: 11 || P: 21 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 13.33% || FO%: 49.89%
S50 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 05 || A: 20 || P: 25 || +/- -05 || SHT%: 04.85% || FO%: 53.81%
S51 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 12 || A: 17 || P: 29 || +/-  05 || SHT%: 09.45% || FO%: 54.32%
S52 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 15 || A: 26 || P: 41 || +/-  11 || SHT%: 10.79% || FO%: 54.99%
S53 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 17 || A: 38 || P: 55 || +/-  16 || SHT%: 10.37% || FO%: 56.70%
S54 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 14 || A: 36 || P: 50 || +/- -06 || SHT%: 07.22% || FO%: 57.82%
S55 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 14 || A: 42 || P: 56 || +/- -11 || SHT%: 08.86% || FO%: 57.82%
S56 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 29 || A: 34 || P: 63 || +/-  39 || SHT%: 15.59% || FO%: 55.44%
-----------------------------------------------
SHL Playoffs:
S48 || CGY || GP: 11 || G: 01 || A: 05 || P: 06 || +/- 00 || SHT%: 05.56% || FO%: 44.74%
S49 || CGY || GP: 07 || G: 02 || A: 03 || P: 05 || +/- 05 || SHT%: 15.38% || FO%: 51.67%
S50 || CGY || GP: 20 || G: 02 || A: 08 || P: 10 || +/- -01|| SHT%: 06.25% || FO%: 58.21%
S51 || CGY || GP: 07 || G: 01 || A: 03 || P: 04 || +/- 01 || SHT%: 05.88% || FO%: 47.93%
S52 || CGY || GP: 13 || G: 05 || A: 07 || P: 12 || +/- 09 || SHT%: 15.15% || FO%: 51.50%
S53 || CGY || GP: 07 || G: 02 || A: 01 || P: 03 || +/--02 || SHT%: 08.00% || FO%: 00.00%
S54 || CGY || GP: 05 || G: 01 || A: 04 || P: 05 || +/- 00 || SHT%: 07.14% || FO%: 00.00%
S55 || CGY || GP: 06 || G: 01 || A: 03 || P: 04 || +/--04 || SHT%: 05.88% || FO%: 00.00%
S56 || CGY || GP: 05 || G: 01 || A: 04 || P: 05 || +/- 00 || SHT%: 07.14% || FO%: 00.00%
-----------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin:
S48 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 00 || A: 01 || P: 01 || +/-  00 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 50.00%
S49 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 04 || A: 02 || P: 06 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 20.00% || FO%: 51.95%
S50 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 00 || A: 03 || P: 03 || +/-  03 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 53.18%
S51 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 04 || A: 04 || P: 08 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 16.00% || FO%: 57.39%
S52 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 06 || A: 04 || P: 10 || +/-  10 || SHT%: 23.08% || FO%: 61.13%
S53 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 01 || A: 10 || P: 11 || +/- -02 || SHT%: 02.94% || FO%: 00.00%
-----------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Rounds:
S48 || AUT || GP: 01 || G: 01 || A: 00 || P: 01 || +/-  01 || SHT%: 50.00% || FO%: 100.00%
S50 || AUT || GP: 02 || G: 00 || A: 00 || P: 00 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 47.50%
S51 || AUT || GP: 01 || G: 00 || A: 00 || P: 00 || +/- -00 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 00.00%
-----------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season:
S45 || KEL || GP: 50 || G: 08 || A: 05 || P: 13 || +/-  -04 || SHT%: 16.00% || FO%: 46.88%
S46 || KEL || GP: 50 || G: 11 || A: 25 || P: 36 || +/- +12 || SHT%: 10.68% || FO%: 46.10%
S47 || KEL || GP: 50 || G: 13 || A: 25 || P: 38 || +/-  -10 || SHT%: 10.08% || FO%: 48.30%
-----------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoffs:
S45 || KEL || GP: 04 || G: 02 || A: 00 || P: 02 || +/- +00 || SHT%: 50.00%
S46 || KEL || GP: 18 || G: 02 || A: 12 || P: 14 || +/- +10 || SHT%: 06.06%
S47 || KEL || GP: 10 || G: 05 || A: 07 || P: 12 || +/- +00 || SHT%: 15.63%
-----------------------------------------------
Transactions & Awards:
S45: Drafted 61st overall by Kelowna Knights
S45: Silver medal WJC (CAN)
S46: Drafted 22nd overall by Calgary Dragons
S46: Laurifer Trophy (KEL - SMJHL)
S46: Riko Muerto Award (KEL - Most Underated Player)
S46: Bronze medal WJC (CAN)
S47: John McBride Award (KEL - Playoff MVP)
S47: Gold medal WJC (CAN)
S49: Appointed as Head Coach of the Kelowna Knights
S49: First career shorthanded goal (Thursday, August 15, 2019)
S49: First career hattrick (Saturday, August 17, 2019)
S49: President's Trophy (CGY)
S49: Appointed Federation Head for Austria
S49: Mike Izzy Award (CGY - Exemplary commitment to off-ice contributions to the team)
S50: Named Alternate Captain for S50 (CGY)
S50: Western Conference Champion (CGY)
S50: Challenge Cup Champion (CGY)
S51: Appointed co-GM for Kelowna Knights
S52: Appointed GM for Kelowna Knights
S53: Jesster Award (CGY - Most Valuable Player)
S53: Western Conference Champion (KEL)
S54: Named Alternate Captain for S54 & S55 (CGY)
S54: Laurifer Trophy (KEL)

 
S50 Challenge Cup Finals Game 7

Linda and all her amazing beers made all those rookie shenanigans worth it <3

 

 
Slava-Ukraini Heroyam-Slava || Yukon Malamutes || Toronto North Stars
Name: Slava-Ukraini Heroyam-Slava
Nationality: Kryvyi Rih, Ukraine
Height: 6"4
Weight: 230
Number: 91
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
SMJHL Regular Season:
S53 | GP: 66 | G: 14 | A: 28 | P: 42 | +/-: 12 | PPP: 1 | PIM: 0 | H: 68 | SB: 4 | TA: 31 | GA: 38
SHL Regular Season:
SMJHL Post Season:
S53 | GP: 11 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: -3 | PPP: 0 | PIM: 0 | H: 22 | SB: 0 | TA: 4 | GA: 10
SHL Post Season:
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Transactions:
S74 Drafted 11th overall to the Yukon Malamutes
S75 Drafted 6th overall to the Toronto North Stars

 

Damn it Vilde didn't even tag me... What was in that first drink, Linda?!

Kyle Wahlters || General Manager || Toronto North Stars
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
SHL
Portland Admirals AGM - S31 | 21-27-2 |
Portland Admirals GM - S32 | 7-40-3 |
Portland Admirals GM - S33 | 20-24-6 |
Portland Admirals GM - S34 | 30-16-4 | Western Conference Champion
Portland Admirals GM - S35 | 29-18-3 | Western Conference Champion
Calgary Dragons HC - S59 | 42-20-4 | Lost in Quarterfinals
Calgary Dragons HC - S60 | 38-21-7 | Lost in Western Conference Finals
Calgary Dragons HC - S61 | 34-26-6 | Lost in Quarterfinals
Calgary Dragons AGM - S62 | 36-23-7 | Lost in First Round
Toronto North Stars GM - S63 | 36-22-8 | Lost in First Round
Toronto North Stars GM - S64 | 19-43-4 | Lost in First Round
Toronto North Stars GM - S65 | 38-23-5 | Lost in First Round
Toronto North Stars GM - S66 | 38-26-2 | Lost in Second Round
Toronto North Stars GM - S67 | 47-16-3 | Lost in Second Round
Toronto North Stars GM - S68 | 46-16-4 | Lost in Second Round
Toronto North Stars GM - S69 | 13-50-3 | DNQ
Toronto North Stars GM - S70 | 6-57-3 | DNQ
Toronto North Stars GM - S71 | 10-56-0 | DNQ
Toronto North Stars GM - S72 | 14-48-4 | DNQ
Toronto North Stars GM - S73 | 22-39-5 | Lost in First Round
Toronto North Stars GM - S74 | 30-33-3 | Lost in First Round

SMJHL
Montreal Militia AGM - S45 | 29-19-2 | Lost in Quarterfinals
Montreal Militia AGM - S46 | 24-21-5 | Lost in Semi-Finals

IIHF
Austria GM - S57 | 3-8-1
Austria GM - S58 | 2-9-1
Austria GM - S59 | 1-9-2
Austria GM - S60 | 3-9-0
Austria GM - S61 | 5-7-0
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S34 Lance Uppercut Award
S60 Coach of the Year Award
S61 Coach of the Year Award


Oleksander Olli O'Koivu || C || Regina Elk || Rookie

Name: Oleksander Olli O'Koivu
Age: 17
Birthplace: Netherlands
------------------------------------------------------------

Cale Amundsen || G || Calgary/Seattle || 1,298 TPE

Name: Cale Amundsen
Age: 21
Birthplace: Netherlands
IIHF Affiliation: Austria
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
SHL Regular Season Totals:
S55 - 5 GP | 4-0-1 | 3 SO | .958 SV% | 0.59 GAA | 79 GR
S56 - 5 GP | 3-2-0 | 1 SO | .914 SV% | 1.81 GAA | 70 GR
S57 - 20 GP | 15-2-0 | 3 SO | .924 SV% | 1.51 GAA | 67 GR
S58 - 18 GP | 15-2-0 | 1 SO | .927 SV% | 1.72 GAA | 74 GR
S59 - 24 GP | 18-5-1 | 1 SO | .906 SV% | 2.61 GAA | 69 GR
S60 - 29 GP | 15-10-3 | 2 SO | .921 SV% | 2.81 GAA | 79 GR
S61 - 50 GP | 26-19-4 | 2 SO | .919 SV% | 2.86 GAA | 77 GR
S62 - 47 GP | 24-15-5 | 2 SO | .918 SV% | 3.26 GAA | 76 GR

SHL Playoff Totals:
S60 - 11 GP | 5-4-1 | 1 SO | .930 SV% | 2.75 GAA | 81 GR
S61 - 10 GP | 5-3-2 | 1 SO | .931 SV% | 2.38 GAA | 82 GR
S62 - 7 GP | 3-3-1 | 0 SO | .911 SV% | 3.78 GAA | 78 GR

SMJHL Regular Season Totals:
S53 - 43 GP | 21-17-4 | 5 SO | .919 SV% | 2.68 GAA | 74 GR
S54 - 41 GP | 28-10-3 | 5 SO | .911 SV% | 2.31 GAA | 69 GR
S55 - 40 GP | 26-8-5 | 6 SO | .917 SV% | 2.06 GAA | 69 GR
S56 - 42 GP | 25-14-3 | 7 SO | .914 SV% | 2.45 GAA | 70 GR
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S53 SMJHL 1st Team
S53 SMJHL All-Rookie Team
S53 SMJHL Esa Anrikkanen Trophy
S53 SMJHL Tom Corcoran Trophy
S54 SMJHL East All-Star
S54 SMJHL Tom Corcoran Nominee
S55 SMJHL East All-Star
S55 SMJHL King-Kurczewski Gauntlet
S55 Four Star Cup Championship
S56 SMJHL East All-Star
S56 SMJHL 2nd Team
S56 SMJHL King-Kurczewski Gauntlet
S56 Playoff MVP Nominee
S56 SMJHL Tom Corcoran Trophey
S60 Newfoundland Berserker Hall of Fame Inductee
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S53 Drafted #13 OA by the Newfoundland Berserkers
S54 Drafted #23 OA by the Chicago Syndacite
S54 Traded to the Calgary Dragons
S54 Signed a 3yr/$7.5m contract
S56 Signed a 3 yr/$9m contract extension

Olli O'Koivu || G || POR/MIN Retired || S39 Cup Champion

Name: Olli O'Koivu
Age: 31
Birthplace: Finland (Played for Ireland)
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
SHL Regular Season Totals:
269 GP | 146-89-34 | 20 SO | .910 SV% | 2.75 GAA
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S33 All-Rookie Team
S34 Cole Reinhart Trophy
S35 Mike Honcho Trophy
S35 John McBride Trophy
S35 Aiden Richan Trophy
S35 1st Team All-Star
S35 Cole Reinhart Trophy
S37 IIHF Silver Medal
S38 2nd Team All-Star
S38 John McBride Nominee
S38 Ron Mexico Nominee
S39 2nd Team All-Star
S39 John McBride Nominee
S39 Mathias Chouinard Trophy
S39 Challenge Cup
S39 IIHF Bronze Medal
S39 IIHF Top Goalie
S40 Mathias Chouinard Trophy
S41 IIHF Bronze Medal
S41 IIHF Top Goalie
S42 Damian Littleton Nominee

Aleksi O'Koivu-Volkova || G || HAM/CAL Retired || S50 Cup Champion

Name: Aleksi O'Koivu-Volkova
Age: 17
Birthplace: Russia
------------------------------------------------------------
S50 Challenge Cup
S51 Bronze IIHF

Linda gets essential workers pay.

[S58] #A-Rye Izzy || D || CGY || #Killowna || 1438 TPE 
Born: S39
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 188 lbs
Number: 86
Position: Hybrid Defender
Birth Place: Vienna, Austria
Residence: Toronto, Canada
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Statistics:
S60| CGY | GP 66| G: 11| A: 15| P: 26| H: 57 | BK: 85| +15 | PPP: 00
S61| CGY | GP 66| G: 05| A: 15| P: 20| H: 64 | BK: 96| +06 | PPP: 00
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
S57| KEL| GP 66| G: 05| A: 13| P: 18| H: 57| BK: 27| -01| PPP: 00
S58| KEL| GP 63| G: 08| A: 23| P: 31| H: 51| BK: 30| +20| PPP: 02
S59| KEL| GP 66| G: 13| A: 22| P: 35| H: 74| BK: 64| +30| PPP: 01
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Post Season Statistics:
S57| KEL| GP 07| G: 00| A: 00| P: 00| H: 03| BK: 02| -01| PPP: 00
S58| KEL| GP 12| G: 01| A: 04| P: 05| H: 05| BK: 04| -04| PPP: 00
S59| KEL| GP 17| G: 06| A: 05| P: 11| H: 22| BK: 10| +11| PPP: 01
--------------------------------------------------
Drafts:
S34 - SMJHL: Drafted 5th overall by Kelowna
S35 - SHL: Auto Drafted by Calgary
--------------------------------------------------
Timeline:
S57 - Youngest player drafted in league history.
S58 - Named Alternate Captain of the Kelowna Knights
S58 - Won Silver Medal with DACH in the WJC
S59 - Named Captain of the Kelowna Knights
S59 - Won Gold Medal with DACH in the WJC
S59 - Kelowna wins 4-Star Cup Championship




Mike Izzy || S34-55 || HOF || TPE Max: 2207 || Cups: 3 
Alias: the Augment
Born: 9/4/1995
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 228 lbs
Number: 19
Birth Place: Whitby, Ontario
--------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Statistics:
S55| CGY| GP 50| G: 14| A: 12| P: 26| H: 154| BK: 28| +23| SHT: 149
S54| CGY| GP 50| G: 21| A: 19| P: 40| H: 108| BK: 28| -05 | SHT: 144
S53| CGY| GP 50| G: 17| A: 23| P: 40| H: 185| BK: 13| +11| SHT: 152
S52| CGY| GP 50| G: 17| A: 21| P: 38| H: 196| BK: 19| +11| SHT: 199
S51| CGY| GP 50| G: 14| A: 23| P: 37| H: 227| BK: 18|  -05| SHT: 166
S50| CGY| GP 50| G: 18| A: 33| P: 51| H: 186| BK: 20| +16| SHT: 185
S49| CGY| GP 50| G: 29| A: 24| P: 53| H: 174| BK: 11| +24| SHT: 177
S48| CGY| GP 50| G: 21| A: 29| P: 50| H: 220| BK: 15| +10| SHT: 196
S47| CGY| GP 50| G: 20| A: 30| P: 50| H: 208| BK: 26| +18| SHT: 193
S46| CGY| GP 50| G: 22| A: 28| P: 50| H: 218| BK: 19| +05| SHT: 252
S45| CGY| GP 50| G: 15| A: 26| P: 41| H: 216| BK: 14|  -03| SHT: 216
S44| CGY| GP 50| G: 19| A: 33| P: 52| H: 180| BK: 10| +15| SHT: 206
S43| CGY| GP 50| G: 21| A: 27| P: 48| H: 198| BK: 10| +04| SHT: 214
S42| CGY| GP 50| G: 26| A: 26| P: 52| H: 176| BK: 17| +11| SHT: 213
S41| CGY| GP 50| G: 20| A: 25| P: 45| H: 190| BK: 13| - 05| SHT: 208
S40| CGY| GP 50| G: 20| A: 20| P: 40| H: 200| BK: 16| +10| SHT: 193
S39| CGY| GP 50| G: 24| A: 24| P: 48| H: 209| BK: 05| +23| SHT: 178
S38| CGY| GP 50| G: 15| A: 16| P: 31| H: 192| BK: 07| +09| SHT: 124
S37| CGY| GP 50| G: 07| A: 09| P: 16| H: 149| BK: 04| +06| SHT: 071
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Statistics:
S37| CGY| GP 07| G: 00| A: 00| P: 00| H: 17|: -07| SHT: 40| PIM: 02
S38| CGY| GP 18| G: 06| A: 01| P: 07| H: 65|: -04| SHT: 67| PIM: 28
S39| CGY| GP 04| G: 00| A: 00| P: 00| H: 11|: -04| SHT: 08| PIM: 06
S40| CGY| GP 19| G: 06| A: 11| P: 17| H: 50|: +02|SHT: 37| PIM: 12
S41| CGY| GP 06| G: 01| A: 03| P: 04| H: 32|: -04| SHT: 12| PIM: 16
S42| CGY| GP 14| G: 14| A: 10| P: 24| H: 70|: +11|SHT: 85| PIM: 19
S43| CGY| GP 06| G: 02| A: 00| P: 02| H: 18|: +01|SHT: 24| PIM: 00
S44| CGY| GP 05| G: 01| A: 03| P: 04| H: 21|:  -02|SHT: 23| PIM: 04
S46| CGY| GP 10| G: 06| A: 06| P: 12| H: 49|: +03|SHT: 35| PIM: 27
S47| CGY| GP 10| G: 06| A: 06| P: 12| H: 49|: +03|SHT: 35| PIM: 27
S48| CGY| GP 11| G: 04| A: 06| P: 10| H: 47|: +01|SHT: 55| PIM: 10
S49| CGY| GP 07| G: 03| A: 06| P: 09| H: 29| : -01| SHT: 32| PIM: 04
S50| CGY| GP 20| G: 16| A: 16| P: 32| H: 68| :+21| SHT: 88| PIM: 28
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
S34| KEL| GP 50| G: 10| A: 09| P: 19| : +19| PIM: 38| H: 107|
S35| KEL| GP 50| G: 17| A: 16| P: 33| : -10| PIM: 58| H: 145|
S36| KEL| GP 50| G: 18| A: 17| P: 35| : +04| PIM: 58| H: 130|
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Statistics:
S34| KEL| GP: 06| G: 2| A: 4| P: 6| : +5| PIM: 02| H: 17|
S35| KEL| GP: 12| G: 5| A: 3| P: 8| :  +2| PIM: 12| H: 31|
------------------------------------------------------------
International Hockey Statistics (IIHF):
S36| AUT| GP 11| G: 2| A: 2| P: 04| : +1| PIM: 12| H: 22| SOG: 16
S37| AUT| GP 11| G: 3| A: 1| P: 04| :  -6| PIM: 06| H: 51| SOG: 25
S38| AUT| GP 10| G: 3| A: 4| P: 07| : +7| PIM: 06| H: 40| SOG: 32
S39| AUT| GP 11| G: 2| A: 3| P: 05| : -04| PIM: 06| H: 36|SOG: 38
S40| AUT| GP 12| G: 4| A: 2| P: 05| : -04| PIM: 14| H: 43|SOG: 47
S41| AUT| GP 10| G: 5| A: 2| P: 07| : -03| PIM: 06| H: 24|SOG: 44
S42| AUT| GP 13| G: 3| A: 5| P: 08| : -01| PIM: 12| H: 26|SOG: 51
S43| AUT| GP 12| G: 6| A: 7| P: 13| : -02| PIM: 12| H: 56|SOG: 42
S44| AUT| GP 11| G: 6| A: 8| P: 14| :+06| PIM: 06| H: 48|SOG: 36
S45| AUT| GP 13| G: 7| A: 3| P: 10| :+01| PIM: 16| H: 45|SOG: 61
S46| AUT| GP 15| G:10| A:10| P:20| :+11| PIM :08| H: 58|SOG: 61
S47| AUT| GP 15| G:08| A:08| P:16| :+09| PIM :10| H: 36|SOG: 56
S47| AUT| GP 12| G:04| A:10| P:14| :+00| PIM :04| H: 33|SOG: 51
------------------------------------------------------------
Drafts:
S34 - SMJHL: Drafted 22nd overall by Kelowna
S35 - SHL: Drafted 4th overall by Edmonton
------------------------------------------------------------
Contracts:
S34 - Signed 1-yr/$2mil entry deal with Kelowna
S35 - Signed 3-yr/$1mil contract with Edmonton
S38 - Signed 2-yr/$4mil contract with Calgary
S39 - Signed 5-yr/$21mil contract extension with Calgary
S45 - Signed 2-yr/$4mil contract with Calgary
S47 - Signed 2-yr/$4mil contract with Calgary
S49 - Signed 2-yr/$6mil contract with Calgary
S51 - Signed 2-yr/$6mil contract with Calgary
S53 - Signed 2-yr/$6mil contract with Calgary
S55 - Signed 1-yr/$4mill contract with Calgary
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S34 - Maxim Horvat Award for Kelowna's Top Rookie
S35 - Elias Armia Award for Kelowna MVP
S36 - Saku Perhonen Award for Most Exciting Player
S39 - Jesster Award for Calgary Dragons MVP
S42 - Jesster Award for Calgary Dragons MVP
S43 - Damian Littleton Trophy - Most Dedicated User
S45 - Jesster Award for Calgary Dragons MVP
S46 - IIHF’s Top Forward Award
S47 - Jeff Dar Trophy - Best 2 Way Forward
S49 - Jay McDonald Trophy - Most Goals (29)
S50 - Jesster Award for Calgary Dragons MVP
------------------------------------------------------------
Timeline:
S35 - Named Alternate Captain of the Kelowna Knights
S35 - Named Media Director/Head Scout of Edmonton
S36 - Named Media Director of the Calgary Dragons
S36 - Transfered from Team Canada to Team Austria
S37 - Named GM of Team Austria of the IIHF
S38 - Calgary: Western Conference Champions
S39 - Named Alternate Captain of the Calgary Dragons
S39 - SHL All Star ‘3rd Team’
S40 - Calgary: Western Conference Champions
S40 - Calgary: Challenge Cup Champions!
S41 - Named Head of the SHL Awards Committee
S42 - Calgary: Western Conference Champions
S42 - Calgary: Challenge Cup Champions!
S42 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S42 - Anton Razov Nomination (Playoff MVP)
S43 - Named head of the Player Progression Department
S43 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S43 - Damian Littleton Trophy (Most Dedicated User)
S43 - IIHF Bronze Medal Winner
S44 - SHL All Star ‘2nd Team’
S44 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S45 - #1 in the SHL in hits (216)
S45 - IIHF Bronze Medal Winner
S45 - Damian Littleton Nomination (Most Dedicated User)
S46 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S46 - Damian Littleton Nomination (Most Dedicated User)
S47 - #1 in the SHL in hits (208)
S47 - Calgary: Western Conference Champions
S47 - IIHF Bronze Medal Winner
S47 - Ranked #1 in the top 100 list for S47
S48 - 1st player ever to add 50p/200h is 3 straight years
S48 - SHL All Star ‘2nd Team’
S48 - Ranked #1 in the top 100 list for S48
S48 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S48 - 6 Jeff Dar noms is the most in SHL history for that award
S49 - Calgary: Presidents Trophy
S49 - SHL All Star ‘3rd Team’
S49 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S49 - Ron Mexico Nomination (Leagues Most valuable Player)
S49 - Calgary creates the Mike Izzy Award for (Team Sportsmanship)
S50 - Calgary: Western Conference Champions
S50 - Calgary: Challenge Cup Champions!
S50 - SHL All Star ‘3rd’ Team’
S50 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S50 - Anton Razov Nomination (Playoff MVP)
S51 - Named Co-GM of the Calgary Dragons
S55 - Mike Izzy became the SHL’s all time hits leader (3585)
S55 - Mike Izzy retires from the SHL
------------------------------------------------------------
Trades:
S36 - Traded to the Calgary Dragons
------------------------------------------------------------
TPE at the start of each season:
S37 - 751 TPE
S38 - 937 TPE
S39 - 1,114 TPE
S40 - 1,298 TPE
S41 - 1,465 TPE
S42 - 1,646 TPE
S42 - 1,858 TPE
S43 - 2,041 TPE
S44 - 2,109 TPE
S45 - 2,204 TPE (Final)



Coach Izzy || General Manager || CGY || S59-Present  
Overall Record: 148W, 90L, 24OTL +114
Seasons: 4
Playoffs: 4
Series Wins: 3
Challenge Cups: 0
------------------------------------------——------
Regular Season Record:
S59 - 42W, 20L, 4OTL, 88 PTS, +44
- Division Winner
- 1st Round Bye
- Lost to Chicago in quarterfinals
------------------------------------------——------
S60 - 38W, 21L, 7OTL, 83 PTS, +62
- Division Winner
- Wins against: Seattle, Edmonton
- Western Conference Championship Series
------------------------------------------——------
S61 - 34W, 26L, 6OTL, 74 PTS, +5
- 2nd Place, Pacific Division
- Wins against: Los Angeles
- Lost to Edmonton in quarterfinals
------------------------------------------——------
S62 - 36W, 23L, 7OTL, 79 PTS, +03
- 2nd Place, Pacific Division
- Lost to Seatlle in round 1


||
||

   

This was hilarious! What a fun media piece, so many gems!

Probably accurate if we all got together in real life.. Also I accept that pizza parm challenge.

---> ParmBorg Highlights <---



Esa Parmborg || Center || Calgary Dragons || S47 || TPE: 2000+
Name: Esa Parmborg
Age: 18
Height: 7'0"
Weight: 350 lbs
Number: 77
Born: Hella, Iceland
-----------------------
Transactions:
Drafted #1 Overall - Halifax Raiders - S46 SMJHL
Auto Drafted GM - Calgary Dragons - S47 SHL
-----------------------
Awards & Achievements:
S50 Challenge Cup Champion - Calgary Dragons
-----------------------
SHL Statistics:
S50: GP:50 | G:9 | A:8 | P:17 | -3 | PIM:13 | H:34 | PP:0 | SOG:70
-----------------------
SMJHL Statistics:
S46: GP:50 | G:6 | A:9 | P:15 | -8 | PIM:20 | H:44 | PP:0 | SOG:76
S47: GP:50 | G:12 | A:19 | P:31 | 0 | PIM:10 | H:71 | PP:6 | SOG:111
S48: GP:50 | G:21 | A:27 | P:48 | +10 | PIM:20 | H:19 | PP:13 | SOG:147
S49: GP:50 | G:19 | A:29 | P:48 | +18 | PIM:26 | H:48 | PP:13 | SOG:116
TOT: GP:200 | G:58 | A:84 | P:142 | +20 | PIM:86 | H:182 | PP:32 | SOG:450



[pbl]Esa Anrikkanen || C / LW || Calgary Dragons || S18 || 2008TPE
Esa Anrikkanen || C / LW || Calgary Dragons || S18 || 2008TPE
Age: 40
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 255 lbs
Number: 10
Born: Helsinki, Finland
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Career Statistics:
S46: GP:50 | G:14 | A:10 | P:24 | -14 | PIM:21 | H:23 | PP:5 | SOG:126
S45: GP:50 | G:11 | A:13 | P:24 | -10 | PIM:10 | H:28 | PP:7 | SOG:162
S44: GP:50 | G:11 | A:10 | P:21 | -1 | PIM:10 | H:22 | PP:7 | SOG:115
S43: GP:50 | G:15 | A:17 | P:32 | -7 | PIM:2 | H:9 | PP:11 | SOG:137
S42: GP:50 | G:10 | A:20 | P:30 | 0 | PIM:0 | H:4 | PP:7 | SOG:128
S41: GP:50 | G:22 | A:16 | P:38 | +28 | PIM:7 | H:2 | PP:4 | SOG:123
S40: GP:50 | G:16 | A:12 | P:28 | -6 | PIM:18 | H:45 | PP:8 | SOG:118
S39: GP:50 | G:18 | A:14 | P:32 | +12 | PIM:0 | H:4 | PP:7 | SOG:187
S38: GP:50 | G:16 | A:11 | P:27 | -2 | PIM:4 | H:7 | PP:8 | SOG:143
S37: GP:50 | G:19 | A:22 | P:41 | +6 | PIM:4 | H:7 | PP:12 | SOG:224
S36: GP:50 | G:22 | A:21 | P:43 | +15 | PIM:4 | H:18 | PP:8 | SOG:201
S35: GP:50 | G:28 | A:26 | P:54 | +25 | PIM:0 | H:13 | PP:14 | SOG:205
S34: GP:50 | G:24 | A:22 | P:46 | +6 | PIM:52 | H:128 | PP:13 | SOG:208
S33: GP:50 | G:21 | A:16 | P:37 | -2 | PIM:28 | H:78 | PP:13 | SOG:207
S32: GP:50 | G:18 | A:16 | P:34 | -10 | PIM:27 | H:15 | PP:9 | SOG:164
S31: GP:50 | G:20 | A:25 | P:45 | +11 | PIM:48 | H:92 | PP:9 | SOG:198
S30: GP:50 | G:22 | A:33 | P:55 | +17 | PIM:64 | H:134 | PP:18 | SOG:232
S29: GP:50 | G:21 | A:32 | P:53 | +14 | PIM:75 | H:212 | PP:15 | SOG:239
S28: GP:50 | G:23 | A:25 | P:48 | +25 | PIM:60 | H:179 | PP:7 | SOG:205
S27: GP:50 | G:19 | A:18 | P:37 | +1 | PIM:68 | H:94 | PP:8 | SOG:135
S26: GP:50 | G:21 | A:21 | P:42 | +9 | PIM:54 | H:82 | PP:15 | SOG:200
S25: GP:50 | G:18 | A:27 | P:45 | +27 | PIM:42 | H:139 | PP:6 | SOG:154
S24: GP:52 | G:16 | A:18 | P:34 | -13 | PIM:48 | H:156 | PP:16 | SOG:153
S23: GP:52 | G:19 | A:30 | P:49 | +19 | PIM:104 | H:193 | PP:6 | SOG:162
S22: GP:52 | G:17 | A:25 | P:42 | -9 | PIM:26 | H:116 | PP:18 | SOG:156
S21: GP:52 | G:19 | A:22 | P:41 | +5| PIM:14 | H:51 | PP:12 | SOG:168
S20: GP:50 | G:17 | A:16 | P:33 | +10 | PIM:30 | H:71 | PP:8 | SOG:155
S19: GP:50 | G:10 | A:3 | P:13 | +10 | PIM:18 | H:88 | PP:1 | SOG:68
S18: GP:50 | G:7 | A:8 | P:15 | +20 | PIM:24 | H:44 | PP:4 | SOG:73
------------------------------------------------
Totals: GP:1358 | G:514 | A:549 | P:1063 | +186| PIM:868 | H:2054 | PP:277| SOG:4750
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Statistics:
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards & Accomplishments:
------------------------------------------------------------
Lost my sig, Work in progress.....

#1 All-Time SHL Goal & Point Scorer 
- First 2,000 TPE Player in SHL History - 
- First 400 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- Only 500 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- First GM to Win 5 & 6 Challenge Cups -
Esa Anrikkanen Award - SMJHL ROY - Est. S34
Vidrik Onoprienko Award Winner - S45



Esa Anrikkanen || HOF GM || Calgary Dragons || S24 || Cups: 6
----------------------------------------
Seasons: 27
Playoffs: 25
Challenge Cup Championships: 5 (S27, S29, S32, S40, S42, S50)
Cole Reinhart Trophy: 8 (S27, S29, S32, S33, S38, S40, S42, S47, S50)
President's Trophy: 3 (S30, S35, S36, S49)
Division Titles: 6 (S30, S31, S33, S35, S36, S39, S49)
Lance Uppercut Award: S36
Joe McKeil Award: S26
Joe McKeil Award: S30
Joe McKeil Award: S33
Joe McKeil Award: S39
1st GM to Win 5 & 6 Challenge Cups!
----------------------------------------
Reg.Season Record: 774 - 448 - 113 (+543)
S50: 27 W - 20 L - 3 OTL  (+7)
S49: 34 W - 13 L - 3 OTL  (+31)
S48: 24 W - 19 L - 7 OTL (+0)
S47: 28 W - 16 L - 6 OTL (+12)
S46: 24 W - 22 L - 5 OTL (-14)
S45: 22 W - 26 L - 2 OTL (-13)
S44: 28 W - 18 L - 4 OTL (+23)
S43: 27 W - 21 L - 2 OTL (+17)
S42: 29 W - 15 L - 6 OTL (+24)
S41: 29 W - 19 L - 2 OTL (+24)
S40: 31 W - 13 L - 6 OTL (+29)
S39: 33 W - 14 L - 3 OTL (+30)
S38: 25 W - 21 L - 4 OTL (+9)
S37: 25 W - 19 L - 6 OTL (+18)
S36: 31 W - 15 L - 4 OTL (+43)
S35: 36 W - 12 L - 2 OTL (+47)
S34: 26 W - 19 L - 5 OTL (+14)
S33: 30 W - 14 L - 6 OTL (+34)
S32: 27 W - 18 L - 5 OTL (+4)
S31: 32 W - 16 L - 2 OTL (+30)
S30: 35 W - 13 L - 2 OTL  (+55)
S29: 29 W - 15 L - 6 OTL  (+44)
S28: 29 W - 15 L - 6 OTL  (+28)
S27: 27 W - 18 L - 5 OTL (+13)
S26: 31 W - 15 L - 4 OTL  (+16)
S25: 29 W - 19 L - 2 OTL  (+14)
S24: 26 W - 20 L - 6 OTL  (-7)
-----------------SMJHL--------------------
Detroit Falcons GM - S20-S23
Seasons: 4
Four Star Cup Championships: 1 (S23)
President's Trophy: 3 (S21, S22, S23)
Eastern Conference Title: 3 (S21, S22, S23)
Division Title: 3 (S21, S22, S23)
GM of The Year: S23
more to follow.....