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S57 PT #3 - Battle Royale
#91

Alright for this point task you are asking for the Hamilton Steelhawks were to have a battle royale who would be the winner and who would not stand a chance. Well obviously @Gwdjohnsonwould die first but. I think big daddy Chad bork lazer would use the remains of gabe Johnson as weapons and meat shields. That is just how life works for Chads and Simps. Bork Lazer would probably team up with another Chad like @RotticusScott or @golden_apricot. We would go and take out all the old guard hamilton guys for a new hamilton order. Then you would have a guy like jobin just chilling watching it all while there is an all out blood bath. Would be a true sight to see. Now of it was just a normal game of among us Bork would not fair well as Bork is too busy getting chicks than playing the sticks if ya know what I'm saying.

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#92

PBE PT

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#93

If for whatever reason a fight broke out among the Colorado Raptors it would be everybody against Juni. Juni Panda is the only skater on the team other than Ruggs McOoooh that is able to handle himself in a fight. Not only can Juni fight he likes to start them too. The Raptors scrapper has racked up almost 90 penalty minutes in just 27 games so far this season and I'm sure he'll have many more fight before playoffs start. While the rest of the team aren't exactly pushovers Juni just has that ability to throw down with the biggest opponents and could very well take on several SHL players. For the rest of the Raptors to be able to take down Juni they would absolutely have to all work together and probably just charge him so they can overwhelm him. Luckily though, the Colorado locker room is a close knit group and most likely won't explode into a brawl.

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Finland  Stars  Berserkers
#94

For Minnesota I think that Seger would be a heavy favourite to win a physical battle royale. His calm demeanor can fool a lot of the opposition on the Monarchs squad but after the years and years of battle that he has been through, I would not be surprised if he was able to take on everyone on his own. Gibbles and Gally are another two favourites with their years on the league. Mika would also be a heavy favourite after fighting her way out of a terrible situation in NOLA.

The young guns with Cal, Klompus and Tinke could pose a threat if they all worked together but their inexperience might get them into a bit of trouble against those veterans who can see a battle through without trouble.

If we're talking about the members only I am definitely not standing a chance because this pandemic has absolutely destroyed any strength or endurance I ever had...

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#95

There are quite a few scenarios that I think could be working for a battle royale within the Kelowna Knights but one stands out quite easily. There is the scenario where the strongest and most brave player wins. One name comes to mind when we talk about the word fighter in the locker room: Teddy ''Doug Glatt'' Park. This killing machine has 11 fighting, 13 strength and kills sharks for breakfast. The legends says that he fought happy Gilmore once and he won. His 61hits and 2fights (0 won) leads the team. The guy is also pretty looking so he might be able to seduce opponents for some easy wins(I mean, that would work on me for sure, I don't even need a battle royale to admit it). For the last 2 players, it would come to Park and Vlastislav Malik who has 13 strength and 12 hitting. For the final fight, Malik would be winning , landing quite a few punches because Park would lend some solid counters. In the end, Park would be the lone winning because let's admit it, the leafs just can't win.

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#96

Well our good friend @ThisSeemsFishy recently ran a hunger games for the Anchorage Armada, however this will be my own spin on the Armada going at it.

The Contenders:
Turg Turg
Lemo Pihl
Igor Victory
Cole Carter
Vladmir Petrov
Slava Petrov
Pablo Salvatici
Theo Kondos

Now we have an interesting group of contenders here, some early favorites to win, but also to be the first out. Off the start, the petrov brothers would team up and hope they could out number the other contenders, however I believe this would be a downfall as the others would see them as a bigger target and aim to take them out. That eliminates the Petrovs, the next early victim would be Cole Carter as he does not seemed that focused for anchorage this season. Now I think the next 2 eliminations would be between Kondos or Pihl, Kondos has been under performing this season and Pihl, well he has dad duty. That leaves two people remaining, Turg and Victory- well many would have voted on Turg Turg to win based on his appearance and name alone. I believe it would be Victory's life experience that would allow him to out smart Turg.

Our winner: Igor Victory

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#97

Going into the Seattle locker room was an experience to remember.  Some great names in that locker room and some great guys too.  In a fight more often than not we look at size first and next thing we find out its the strength.  So here are my candidates for a Battle Royale in no particular order:

Frederick Wanesly  6'4" 220lbs  (str:15)
Ben van Dijk 6'4" 219lbs (str: 13)
Alexei Rykov  6'3" 205lbs (str: 14)
Mikas Bieksa 6'1" 205lbs (str: 13)
Cassius Darrow 6'2" 220lbs (str: 17)
Satoshi Zizagooney  6'0" 190lbs (str: 18)

Bell rings and all the competitors look around at one another like a setting for a duel like challenge.  Gloves drop and skates begin to scrape and scratch the ice surface.  As quick as it had begun  we were short to thugs! Ben van Dijk and  Mikas Bieksa quickly realized they were no match for what stood ahead. 

Frederick Wanesly jabs (sucker punch) saw an opening and took advantage, as Alexei Rykov jaw dropped when he saw Cassius Darrow skating over his way.  Knees bent and down he went with thud on the ice.  Wanesly admiring the knockout never saw Cassius coming and was belted into the side boards and following through his checks like he always does, lifted and propelled him over the boards.

Merely 30 seconds gone by and we have two men left standing!  Zizagooney skates over to Cassius team captain and all, with respect he bends the knee and Darrow emerges victorious without ever throwing a single blow.

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#98
(This post was last modified: 12-16-2020, 11:40 PM by eagle_brand.)

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cool red birds punching stinky metal boys

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#99

For LAP the fight would be over the leaks of Jimmy Wagner's OnlyFans information. There would be great bloodshed but there would be only one winner and that would be the only person who could out-Jimmy Jimmy Wagner and that would be Jimmy Jimmy himself. Standing at 6'4", he has the stature to take on anyone on the team, despite being one of the youngest players in the system. His first whiff of the prize would have him sprinting from Carolina all the way to LA. Make no mistake, the competition will be stiff for this incredible opportunity. The battle would rage for days with more and more team members failing to overcome one another until it was down to the last few. Coincidentally, the last remaining people are all named Jimmy. Unfortunately, this really does not narrow it down specifically because there are like 15 Jimmys in the LAP system so ultimately it came down to the one who could only hold the power of two Jimmys.

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I think for this PT we should lay out the dream roster for an all down throw down between SHL real users.

Who would I want on my Line brawl when it came time to toss knuckles? Well lets look at the options we have.

Obviously 2 of my choices would be Dankoa and Rindiee cause those boys are straight G's and know a thing or two of throwing down, so they would be my bodyguards.

next up? Well Puoli no less. Now many might wonder what his role would be? Obviously tactician. He would be the glasses member of the typical fighting anime who sits back and uses his superior wits to win the day without breaking a sweat.

To round out the bottom 2 spots? Well I think I would roll with Oats for that crafty veteran presence mixed with Walrus for that wild card factor. Will he show up? Won't he? Will he show up with a trident as a weapon? Who knows that's the whole point of a wild card.

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So the obvious most-likely to win in a physical fight on the Inferno is DeMaricus Smyth. He's one of the biggest hitters around the entire league and would crush any one of us in a head to head physical fight. Thankfully, all of the rest of us realized that and immediately ganged up on him with no previous coordination, using our weak punches and kicks to slowly and painfully beat him to death in the bare-fisted equivalent of a death by a thousand cuts. Horrified by what we had done, everyone scattered to the far reaches of the what I am picturing as Hunger Games style map (screw Fortnite). Unfortunately, nobody had grabbed any food or anything, so most of the squad slowly died of dehydration or starvation in a very grueling and boring competition, until only Manuel Gotze and Eko Van Otter remained. Gotze had the hitting advantage in a physical contest, but Eko is slippery and just avoiding Gotze until his old legs gave out and Eko could sweep back in for the fatality.

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If there ever was a battle royale within the Baltimore Platoon’s locker room, there would be some clear favourites from the get go. Players like Turd Ferguson holder, Piere-Luc Lespineau-Lebrunette, Valentin Kalashnikov, and Adam Friedland would be among the favourites as their love of the physical game has gotten them in trouble more often than not. Chances are these players would turn on one another early on and get taken out by the competition. Big names like Nat Emerson, Ethan Duncan, Karl Krashwagen and Luca Del Vecchio would not last too long either as the young guns are eager to show their worth and would not hesitate to go to down on them.
As the field narrows down to the final few, a showdown between Lord Raiden and GOD McZehrl in a clash of the young versus the old ends in a close win for the Mortal Kombat character, only for him to be taken out from behind as he celebrates his win. On top of the pile of bodies stands only one person. Troy McClure III, whom everyone forgot existed and came back from nowhere for a chair slam win.
(191 words)

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PBE Welfare

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Going first off hits in the SHL as of 38 games played for Texas, we have 5 players who stand out. Piotr Horvat (97 hits), Andreas Kvalheim (91 hits), Bjorn Leppanen (86 hits), Edward Williams (72 hits), and Noah Brusky (71 hits). As far as players go, these 5 would easily take down the other players on the team due to their physicality. Amongst these remaining players, we can look at their Strength stat: Bjorn Leppanen (18), Andreas Kvalheim (17), Noah Brusky and Piotr Horvat (16), and Edward Williams (15). This unfortunately means that Williams is going to be knocked out, but I'd like to say that I put up a good fight. Going off strength, Bjorn Leppanen and Andreas Kvalheim would take down Piotr Horvat and Noah Brusky, leaving just the two to duke it out. Due to his seniority and experience, I'd have to say that Kvalheim takes this one, leaving him the victor.

But if we're going off of users, obviously @dankoa wins ez

 
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Maines battle royale will involve jungle(forest) warfare. Surviving Maine's dense forests will be half of the battle. Navigating the hills and forests that surround Portland will be difficult. Players from mountainous and cold regions will do much better than those who aren't. Puddles O'Duck will do very well blending in with his surroundings as he is just a duck. He will get the drop on many other players. Bigga Foryu will have the hardest time as he wont be able to hide as easily considering his size. With Sean Gatez being from Colorado, he is very much conditioned to hiking and learning the forests. Dogwood Maple might look like Abe Lincoln but he is basically part tree. He will win just on that fact alone.

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