I think size could be a huge advantage for a few members of the SHL. Last time I checked we had 5 players who were 6'11 and 300 pounds! My money on a Battle Royal winner would be one of either Walrus Walrus, Nikolas Klaus, Malik Wilkins, Grapefruit Lizard or Adam Friedland. At such a massive size I just can't see most of the average joes in the SHL standing a chance against such monsters. I would like to see how someone like Simon Takshak or Slimey Snail would do as they are also 300 pounds. The difference is that they are only 5 feet tall...almost 2 feet shorter than the monsters listed earlier. Can they stay low to the ground for some sort of advantage? I doubt it. Don't count out Biggs Secks as a dark horse candidate to win it all. He is another 300 pounder but at 5'11 he is in the middle here and might have what it takes.
First SHL goal on first SHL shot in first SHL game.
We already do this in the Newfoundland locker room, inspired by Anchorage's version. It is called the Holmgang, and it has been a hit every time. Some of the major players are:
"Mad Dog" Rindo - Rindiee is always a fan favorite to win, though he has never been lucky enough to do so. He is still one of the most successful zerkers with two 2nd place finishes.
Kluster "The Bounty Hunter" - Kluster is one of our few Holmgang winners, doing so in stylish fashion by taking out the most wanted players in the game. He typically does very well, and likes to set fires a lot.
Beeg "Beeg Yoshi" Yoshi - Beeg has typically met an unfortunate end early on, and a frequent past time of the zerks is harassing the person who killed him.
"Aquaman" Tez - Tez somehow manages to drown 5 minutes into the game consistently.
Tylar "The Avenger" - Ty killed the guy who killed Beeg so he is a hero.
So in real life I am a human being with two x chromosomes and you guys all know that we're physically weaker and all that. With that in mind, I assume that in any sort of battle royale I would get my ass handed to me. Maybe if I had time to work out I would do a little better, but my kid is almost two and I work full time so the extent of my exercise is chasing her around the house. I don't know much about who works out and whatnot among the users that make up the San Francisco Pride so my assumptions are all going to be bad, but Henrik seems to actually go outside and do things so he is probably in the upper tier of physical fitness. AgentSmith seems like a very motivated guy in general, so I'm sure he would find a way to get the upper hand in a fight. And if LordBirdman is actually a birdman then being able to fly would definitely help him out. Regardless, we are all too nice to actually fight each other but if it every happened I assume it would be entertaining.
(sigs courtesy of Carpy48, BDonini, Turd Ferguson, FlappyGiraffe, and Sulovilen)
The task specifies that the battle-royale is a physical fight, so i will answer in the context of a bar fight. Blake Lively just walked into the bar holding baby yoda, and said that she'll hang out with and talk to only one person from the Edmonton roster. Immediately a donnybrook erupts and everyone's abilities are based solely on their SHL attributes.
Some highlights:
Due to the emotions of the index, Daniel LaForest is perceived to have a 4 in fighting; he goes to punch someone, but puts his fingers over his thumb, snapping it as soon as he makes contact. He leaves the bar to get his hand looked at.
William Hartmann, who has the highest aggression on the team, makes a run at the captain, Jean-Paul Boivin, whose fighting attribute doubles the next highest on the roster. The two grab pool cues and use them like swords for 2 swings until they both break, and they just end up drubbing [original definition was to "beat with a stick", but the new common use is just a heavy beating] each other. Jean-Paul has the "Hitting" advantage, so Hartmann ducks out.
Scholz has the highest bravery on the team, so he makes a run at the weakened captain, tackling him into big-buck HD game, disconnecting the controllers and ruining Julio's high score
Connor Tanner and cuts the whole roster. now its just him. He and Blake hold hands.
Kelowna would have one of the most, if not THE most, competitive battle royales in the league. They boast a roster of 20 active players so no one is gonna get caught sleeping for the easy execution. This is going to be a bloody battle and whoever wins will have some truly haunting memories for the rest of their life. In the initial melee Hamilton would be one of the first to go, sure he's a highly skilled hockey player, but he's a finesse guy and if we're being honest not that brave. He'd get struck down easily with no room to maneuver in all of the chaos. The next group to fall before things really get interesting would include the likes of Pontecorvo (fast yes, but also 5 inches shorter and 25 lbs lighter than anyone on the team), Konecny (he's brave, but still smaller and can't fight), Huff, LaFleur, C, Izzy, Gouilliman, Feltersnatch, Atrick, and Malik. All of these guys have a shot to survive with decent measurables, size, and intelligence but at the end of the day none of them know how to fight so it just isn't likely that they'll come through. The next group of players to go down are an interesting bunch and some luck can see them either surviving beyond this point or falling with the first wave. First is one of the true wild cards of this competition in Vertigo, much like his play on the ice he's just as likely to come out with ice in his veins and brutalize his opponents as he is to fold and be completely embarassed. Ford's best chance to still be around is his fighting acumen (relative to the rest), would it make up for his below average measurables? I think so, but there is no way to really know. The next batch is just as bad at fighting as the other guys, but they come with veteran savvy, better physical traits, and a proven ability to take advantage of an opponent's momentary weakness. Money, McFelter, and Wong go somewhere in this bunch. Now things get interesting with the final four standing. They have no clear weakness and each one of them brings a unique strength that got them this far. In alphabetical order to not play favorites Goodname has an incredible reach, is strong as an ox, will outlast anyone in an endurance competition, and can't be taken down, he got here by simply wearing his opponents down and striking when they leave a hole. Park entered the competition as the clear favorite and if he doesn't make it to this point it would be truly astounding. He's head and shoulders the best fighter on the team, can outlast anyone not named Goodname, and is a regular in the sin bin giving black eyes out like candy on the ice. Pearce doesn't quite stack up against the rest of this group's pedigree or physical characteristics, but he more than makes up for it with his ability to capitalize on the slightest opportunity opponents give him. St. Louis will forever have nightmares after they carried a 4-0 lead into the third period against KEL and allowed a comeback behind Pearce's FIVE points in the third period alone. This man is a stone cold killer and if he's given even the smallest of windows it's all over. Finally to finish out the top four is Ramsey who's defense is impenetrable. He won't overpower or strike back, but you'd be lucky to land a single hit on him. The man puts up a brick wall and can withstand anything you throw at him. He gets here by stonewalling his opponents and when they're done Ramsey throws absolute daggers to finish them off. Goodname and Park have the pretty clear physical advantage in this last group, but Pearce and Ramsey have superpowers of their own that even the playing field. I think Pearce wins taking down Park in the final battle, but you could set this up 4 times and get a new winner every time.
12-17-2020, 07:12 PM(This post was last modified: 12-17-2020, 07:15 PM by Wawazat.)
The BATTLEBORN BATTLE ROYAL from the 1500 Dodge Ram Hellcat Arena in beautiful Las Vegas ..
It was a helluva show ...
a nuclear war for bragging rights and the last bag of Green Apple Jolly Ranchers candies and one more item...
the newly minted Battleborn FTW Belt..
A cherished momento of the carnage to be proudly displayed in the locker of the victor for the rest of the Season.
Considering the season so far THIS might be the only highlight...anyway.
C.K. Supernaw channeling his frustration at the incredible lack of anything positive hockey wise.
The “Superhawk” decided to compete and entered the arena shouting ”EVERYBODY DIES!!”
and then proceeded to do a perfect impersonation of one of his current favorite pro wrestlers the ‘Murderhawk Monster’ Lance Archer leaving the ring strewn with the battered and unconscious bodies of all who dared enter this BATTLBORN BATTLE ROYAL...
With the victory and the Battleborn FTW belt slung over his shoulder and the bag of Green Apple Jolly Ranchers clutched in his huge hand.
The newly crowned Champion answered the question ...WHY?
”Because, it was something to take our minds off the depressing record we’re posting on the ice and who knows, it might be the start of a second career path.”
Quote:S56 WJC AWARDS
“Our third award is one that is dear to my heart as a SHL goaltender… The Peter Larson Award for the Top Goalie! This is voted by the GMs and considers both the round robin and medal rounds. The S56 Winner of the Peter Larson Award is….…
C.K. Supernaw! “
If a battle were to break out in Vancouver.. It would be quite a fight. For extra fun, we are including some of the S54 members of the team. Throwing the first punch would be our best fighter..Well, not the best, but our fighter, Zayne Rotzbua, and it would be at Name Redacted, but as expected it missed Redacted, due to being the first shot. Jon St. Ark is nice, but just doesn't compare to Redacted in that important skill. Ryosute Sato is good as well, but he just can't seem to finish. Luffy Richard is aggressive, but more of a counterattack than an aggressor. Valtterri Kauppinen isn't too good at anything, and this battle isn't any different. In the end the winner is Johnny Shuffleboard. Mysteriously it seems he may have used an axe as part of this battle. There has been no comment from anyone except Mills, who said, "What? Me? Make Shuff play like an axe murderer?"
Class S55
Reincarnated- Class S71
Anchorage Armanda || 23
Philadelphia Forge || 23
BasedMinkus Registered
S1, S3, S4, S6, S13, S19 and S28 Challenge Cup Champion
Posts:15,883 Threads: 541 Joined: Dec 2011 Reputation:20
Pronouns: Undisclosed
If a battle royale were to happen in the SMJHL, I think it would be terrible because everyone here are young kids.....BUT if I had to pick a few standouts from the Colorado Raptors they would be the following people.
Juni Panda: Guy runs around laying people out and fighting people larger and scarier than him all the time. Hell I once heard the kid get angry at the fact he had a goal and an assist but didnt have as many hits as he would like so clearly there is something wrong with the kid. Imagine him with a weapon coming at you or the fact that he is an actual Panda? Good luck to all the humans out there.
Jed Mosley Jr: Look in a battle royale, someone with a shot and isn't afraid to use it, pays off big in trying to win. Mosley leads the team in shots and fires at a great clip. I believe that if this is a duos battle royale tournament that Juni and Jed could win the whole thing as Jeds shooting and Juni's brute force, compliment each other greatly.
192
JayWhy Registered
S15, S16, S28, S34, S38 Challenge Cup Champion and Lance Bass
Among those on Manhattan, Shiny would be what we in the business call un-fuck-wit-able. You see, we can say it by just looking at Apex Legends in which I've seen Shiny take down like 7 or 8 people on his own. Or we can talk about it with regards to real life in which Shiny is a 6'8" behemoth of a man who could crush you with his bare hands. There is nobody, and I mean nobody, who should fuck with Shiny in a setting like this. What, you want to be the guy that set off the giant?
Sure the rest of us may hide and survive as long as we can, Buster and I would form a good unit but he would sell me out in a heartbeat and I know it. He'd easily lure me out to get killed so he could run away. Juke and Luke would probably work together, but those nerds aren't winning anything, just sitting behind a wall hoping not to be noticed. I could see paths to victory for any of us without Shiny in the mix, but Shiny is by far the winner in this situation guaranteed.
An old man's dream ended. A young man's vision of the future opened wide. Young men have visions, old men have dreams. But the place for old men to dream is beside the fire.
12-17-2020, 10:26 PM(This post was last modified: 12-17-2020, 10:33 PM by Snuffalupagus.)
I've been running through the SMJHL stats to research how the sim would interpret the question. So, after viewing the results, I've come up with this scenario.
It's a dry Tuesday night in Las Vegas (not dry in terms of alcohol, which is actually flowing at a dangerous velocity down peoples' throats), where the annual S57 Awards Night take place. It's an extravagant show of wealth and talent and showmanship, and, inherently brings out large personalities. On this Tuesday night, we go to a downtown Vegas pizza parlour where all seating has been pushed back to make room for a miniature wrestling ring. This is the SMJHL Slammies. Where all the tough boys attending the Awards Show physically duke it out to see who's the toughest SOB.
Our entrants are (TOTAL-WIN) / (WIN%):
Niccolo Livius (8-5) / (62.5%)
Boris Petrov (8-7) / (87.5%)
Juni Panda (4-1) / (25%)
Yuuto Kira Cloudera Jr. (2-1) / (50%)
Greg Davies (2-1) / (50%)
Marabelle Octive (3-0) / (0%)
The format is Brawl-For-All, but that doesn't stop teammates from co-operating. Octive and Davies go after Citadelle teammates Petrov and Cloudera Jr., but the St. Louis henchmen are dealt with in convincing fashion. Panda attempts to get the drop on Petrov, but is intercepted by Livius, who tosses the Colorado Raptor into the on-lookers. Petrov and Clouder Jr. surround Livius before striking. In the kerfuffle, only one man stands victorious - the Quebec Citadelle Boris Petrov!
Inspired on what we had for a recreation of a Battle Royal on the Jets' Locker Room.
As the men gathered in the ring, waiting for the opening bell, one could notice the lack of a final participant. The lights went dark. A second, two seconds, three seconds... six seconds later, it turned back on. Sitting on the top of the entrance ramp, his legs crossed, the unmistakable armour of a true ninja hid the Irishman to the sounds of Cockroach by the Crocodiles. He pulled out a sword and rather quickly sliced in two a rogue glass of Cola thrown his way. He then threw it upwards, kicking himself up from his position in a puff of smoke while catching the weapon with his other hand before calmly placing it behind him again.
Yoshi then took a deep breath and bolted towards the ring, stopping only near it to jump over the ropes, twisting his entire body in the process, landing on his feet with his arms crossed. Amidst all the flashiness, he merely sighed."If only I hadn't been booked to lose this damned thing."
Player Page - Update Page
Former Players: Yoshimitsu McCloud (LW, #64) - Won a Four Star Cup once, knew ninjutsu, picture editors hated him, never tried free agency
Anton Harrier (LW, #90) - Won WJC gold, liked skateboarding a lot, went to the finals with Manhattan, kept his seat glued in LR
If there were to be fight within the platoon locker room where it was every man against him self the first person to die would be JR because he would forget to take off his vr headset while playing games. Also in Baltimore we fight to the death. Shortly after the next victim would be Nat Emerson because he’s too friendly of a guy to fight back so I would snap my stick I’m half and jam it in his neck. Then andy and Suavamente get into a fight while andy takes his skate off and slowly cuts into Suavamentes throat while laughing in his evil laugh he’s so good at. Chris Mczehrl barley speaking English is just yelling and throwing punches left and right without hesitation on who he hits. Leppish shortly joins the fight and starts shooting pucks at people with the t shirt cannon like an automatic nerf gun. The winner of the battle royale will be non other than Logan because the rest are bad.
If we are talking about a physical fight in the Atlanta LR we know that the obvious answer as to who would be the loser is @hotdog. First of all he is soft. How do we know this? Many many many many reasons. First of all he is a hotdog. Not even a great food. He could have been like pizza or sushi or a hamburger or tacos or chicken wings or any number of high quality foods but instead he chose a hot dog. terrible choice and would clearly lose in a battle royale scenario. On top of that he is from arguably the worst place on earth - new england. You know who would lose in a fight? Basically every famouns New England athlete ever. Tom Brady? Soft (like Hotdog). Paul Pierce? Shit his pants on the court and in a battle royale. same as hotdog would. So yea. I don't know who would win. But I sure as hell know would lose.
Mack![[Image: dVy6XWn.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/dVy6XWn.jpg)
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(8-7) / (87.5%)
(4-1) / (25%)
(2-1) / (50%)
Rob Wright ![[Image: d8gycCg.png]](https://i.imgur.com/d8gycCg.png)
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