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r0tzbua · 09-05-2021, 01:45 AM

That decision is really easy. Finn will take the orange pill. As you may know, or to be honest probably do not know, Finn von Murphenstein is allergic against the world. Like literally the world. Grass? He will die. Beautiful Spring outside and people sniffing on flowers? Finn von Murphenstein could sniff on mustard gas and it would have the same effect as these horrible flowers on him. The world is on to kill Finn and only Claritin makes him survive it, so if that orange pill is really good allerhy medicine it is really easy to decide that he would go for the orange pill. All the other pills sound nice at first but the downsides are pretty bad (who would want to become PT director? Seriously.) and the orange pill just sounds like an overall great experience without too many bad things. Except that Finn will still suck at hockey, but now everyone is used to him sucking so everything else would indeed think he would just do doping if he suddenly was super strong or fast.

***goldenglutes*** · 09-05-2021, 03:12 AM

ok first of all i would like to say slash acm this is a wonderful pee tee probably one of the best i have ever read and for that i really think you deserve an uprep for this one by the way i am not being sarcastic at all i genuinely really like this one because it is so creative and there are so many colours to choose from woo wee which one will guy zheng end up choosing? it is really hard to say but i think at the end of the day guy zheng of the atlanta inferno in the simulation hockey league right now playing in the sixty first season as a forward, he would likely pick the orange pill because he has mad allergies like he would be sneezing all over the place without his allergy meds so if he didn't take the orange pill and that would mean he loses his allergy meds forever then i think that would be the worst thing he could do honestly ok maybe not the worst but probably pretty bad you know what i mean? @micool132

Signatures by Vulfzilla, Jepox, Jess, rum_ham, Ragnar, and myself
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jtam · 09-05-2021, 04:09 AM

As many have said, there doesn’t seem to be any limitations on any of these pills. Amazing speed, am I Conor McDavid now? Or am I the Flash. Both work. I’ll take it. Every 2nd commercial break, head to the washroom, vacate bowels. Luongo taught me that this was fine. Go back, dominate. Then I’d take the green pill. You think anyone can lay a hit on a 3 foot tall child with super speed? I’ll just dance between people’s legs and deke my way into scoring with my super intelligence. Then I’d take the Pink Pill. I’m not known for my Kpop skills, but my hockey skills are pretty top tier now. Now I also have BTS legion of fans, scoring me endorsement deals and making more money. Purple pill cause, yum? The other pills give zero benefit, so why would anyone pick them. Sure, I may be a midget player, but now, the moment I get the puck, no one can touch me.

MP7 · 09-05-2021, 07:03 AM

Looking at all those nice pills and thinking about what pill would give me what power I got confused a little bit. After some long and crazy hours, I started to think what would happen if I just try all of them at once? Will I turn into the best player the league had ever seen? Super fast, super strong and playmaking skills of a god and don’t forget the part fame that would come along with one of these pills. I know that they have some negative effects as well, but I believe who ever is that crazy to try the black one too my get surprised with eliminating the negative, because it must be some hidden thing behind the black one, otherwise nobody would take it. That was enough of thinking about it, let’s try it out, Wachter just put all of them in his mouth and swallowed it. No need to tell you that he never was seen again after he flown away in the sky.

arturs33 · 09-05-2021, 09:25 AM

So here I was with that pink pill in my hand. Now I am popular among people. I was a bit amazed by second part, but, to be honest, Korean pop stars don't have talent anyway so I heard my evil laughs in my head. Situation was perfect, I went to my training with team. New looks was kinda good too. Now I can lay down these chicks in China town. Went to it, because I had time, as usually buying some salmon from my 'salmon dealer' (wink wink), but I wasn't prepeared for what came next. Bunch of asian ladies recognized me, smiled looking at me and chatting lively. It take them around a minute to pull out their phones and go my way. I was ready for selfies and stuff, but they came closer and yelled in their language, but I understood them. Message was something like this: "Look, look, that is that korean pop star, who got hit with bananas my bunch of monkeys." And that moment I knew that I fucked up. That was last time I bought random pills from random guys. *smacks salmon on the table in anger*

(196 words maybe)

***TheSparkyDee*** · 09-05-2021, 09:30 AM

pt pass

BenDover · 09-05-2021, 09:43 AM

As Wilson walks around the new area that surrounds him after the off season trade between the Detroit Falcons and the Vancouver Whalers, which saw Wilson be sent to the Whalers for a 1st round pick, he ran into the magical pill dealer. After parsing through the options, Wilson decided to purchase both the blue and orange pills from the strange dealer. First off, the orange pills, which is just allergy medicine. Wilson has always struggled with a pollen allergy, so to be able to fix this big issue that had been plaguing him all his life, he had to take this magical pill. Moving on to the more powerful pill, in the blue one which allows my player to be very strong but cannot see. This would not be the biggest change for Wilson, who already seems pretty inept on the offensive side of the ice, but he will use this defensive boost to really make the defense feel his wrath, and maybe crash into the wall a couple times, because well he can't see.

Thunfish · 09-05-2021, 09:56 AM

Eh, I'll write this out of character because bloody hell, this is probably the most abstract thing I had to write about, even for the wackier stuff I'm planning for Anton, this is a tad much. Still, let's see.

Well, the way I see it, I'd have the pink pill. I mean, I wouldn't swallow it because I fail to see the reason to improve my player's skills in any way besides true and fair work but I imagine it'd be worth a penny in the market somewhere.

Worst case scenario, I would give the pill to mom. I mean it, you can make a killing in Brazil by just being ridiculously popular, sans any skill in the slighest. There was even a chick that made her entire life and career out of wearing a short pink dress to classes at the uni.

It'd be a godsend.

nyumbayangu · 09-05-2021, 10:00 AM

Sardangians do not have bowels in the same way that humans do so my first choice was going to be the red pill. Unfortunately I already have to hold myself back from harming humans on the ice due to my natural speed and size, and thus the extra super speed would be of no use to me. I will thus choose the pink pill as I would like to be famous on this planet and be able to use my fame to further my research. I do not know what the Korean pop stars are famous for, but I assume it will be for something amazing, and since I wish to experience all of the amazing parts of humanity, I will choose that. Imagine the face of a Sardangian plastered across the planet with adoring fans and world leaders asking for my autograph. It would be an incredible sigh to behold!

Halkohol · 09-05-2021, 10:35 AM

Picking a pill is not easy, however some are clearly worse than others. The red pill is an absolute no. Speed is fun, sure, but no thanks to that digestive system. Blue pill sounds fun, but giving up sight for strength, no way. Green pill sounds fun, I mean I'll definitely have a job after the hockey career with that one which could be quite good because I do not think I could keep playing hockey with the body of a child. Brown pill is just useless unless you need to clean the bowels so, no. I'll never be PT director by free will so forget that one.

Now for the more useful pills. Orange pill is an absolute win, hell yes praise allergy medicine. Pink pill is free fame, no need for the talent of a Korean pop star because they will just love my hockey skills instead of my pop. Purple pill? I have no idea, I guess this is fine?

Since there was no limit that I could only choose one of the pills, the choice is easy. I will consume the orange pill, the pink pill and the purple one as well because why not. This means no longer will I have to suffer allergy during spring/summer which will for sure help out on the ice. Combine that with the fame and I will have fans cheering for me every night at any arena, and while they are rooting on my team, they are mainly there for me and only me. This is sure to boost my ego and help me perform even better. Damn good pills these were!

(274 words)

**Rich** · 09-05-2021, 11:06 AM

Fileworker PT Pass

Jorec · 09-05-2021, 11:06 AM

The red pill is perfect for the not so physical defenceman who wants the edge speed wise but also a little more protection on the ice. Already known for his speed, Adrik will have the added 'bonus' of shitting his pants at least once per game. Who is going to try and stop him from coming down the ice on a power play if there is the risk that the slightest touch is going to send a fountain of shit firing out of his cornhole. It'd be like he's all alone out there on the ice, and he mostly will be because Adrik would lean into it hard. Hard boiled eggs for breakfast, sourkraut for lunch and all the beans he can eat for dinner. But after a single game, under threats from both his teammates and the league as a whole, Adrik would never use it again but for that one glorious game, he would be known to everyone as the Russian farting flash.

165 words.

*Katth* · 09-05-2021, 12:44 PM

I guess I'll take the pink pill. Being a Korean popstar is dealing with intens amount of pressure from your parents, family and friends, but also the milions of fans in Korea. Being a Korean popstar is not for the faint hearted, but I do like Korean barbecue so, I'll take that chance. Also the Korean women look pretty nice, even though loads of them do cosmetic surgery to look like their idols or try to look like their ridiculous standards for good looks. Korea is also a nice country to live in and has lots of history. Also with my Korean popstar fame I will try and help to end the war with North Korea and make peace forever. That war is gone for far too long and needs to end. I still need to write a few more words about the pink pill, but I don't know much about Korea unfortunately.

S50 Challenge Cup Finals Game 7
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*Count Chocula* · 09-05-2021, 12:50 PM

I would take the Red pill hands down. The blazing speed on the ice would be a game breaking change to my current play. As a defenseman I would never be out of position as I could get where I need to be in a blink of an eye. I could block shots before they even got to the net. I would be able to lead rushes up the ice for our team and create all sorts of scoring chances. Power plays and penalty kills would be much more effective with all my speed. I would essentially be a 1 person penalty kill and just skate around since no one could catch me. I could also negate any accidental icings as I could retrieve pucks before they went past the goal lines. On top of that having to vacate my bowels every 15 minutes would give me an extra 10 minutes of freedom between each bowel evacuation.

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awils13 · 09-05-2021, 12:53 PM

Some really enticing options here, I would be tempted to choose the black pill and after becoming the PT director I would cancel all written PTs. Then, in order to make up for the lost tpe I would make activity checks worth 8 tpe, but that would mean almost everyone would be a max earner, thus raising the competition level and making it more difficult for my player to put up good stats, which is the opposite of what I need. So I feel like I need to choose a pill that would give myself an edge on the ice. I really like the green pill option because it will allow me to make big brain plays offensively and rack up points, and as for being 3 feet tall, well, that hasn't stopped dmills from being a good shl forward in the past. I would say that's an advantage actually, because being short means you are more difficult to hit.

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