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Ox Monkey · 03-16-2022, 11:04 AM

Hello all you homers and hand grenades!

It has been a whirlwind of events since the draft, and JoJo’s head is still spinning form all of the people he’s met, and events he has had to attend. It was a good thing the Falcons had hired him a driver and publicist for this media tour, because he was starting to think he made a mistake joining the SMJHL. Thankfully, after the 3rd day of pressers and media events, the hoop-la surrounding JoJo being the First overall first gen began to fade. It was time to get over to Detroit and get set-up with his new home for the foreseeable future.

The flight from DEN to DTW was about as routine as expected. The flight was short enough where only one drink and snack service was warranted, but not long enough to warrant any booze/Xanax. Upon landing at Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport in the Macnamara Terminal, an airport/terminal combination JoJo was accustomed to from his banjo playing bluegrass days, he was on the lookout for his favorite bite to eat; Max & Erma’s™. After a quick tortilla soup and a pesto panini, he was ready to head out of the TSA controlled area. He was told by the GM that they had hired him a car to get him over to the Jet Blue Airways Arena, he just had to find the person. This was the first time JoJo would be looking for the guy with little white sign with only his name on it. He thought it funny, that through all the airports he had ever been, he had never had a personalized car; he had always belonged to some sort of troop or band or collective that required van or bus services. Well after today, he would be travelling with his new team as they crisscrossed the continent in search of worthy opponents. Just as JoJo was finishing up his thought on what kind of bus/plane antics his new team would get into, he saw a man in black suit and a canvas white cap made famous by Dom DeLuise. He noticed immediately something was wrong, as the white card read ‘DoDo Larkin’; approaching cautiously, announced himself as JoJo Larkin. The man in black smiled somewhat toothlessly and shrugged his shoulders as to say, ‘hey, I just write what they tell me, you must be the rookie?’

The ride to Jet Blue Airways Arena was quick and painless, and before he knew it, was standing on the mezzanine staring into the rafters at (6) Four Star Cup Titles and no fewer than a baker’s dozen Eastern Conference Titles. This put things into perspective quick, this was a house of warriors and champions. He was escorted into the bowels of the arena to drop his luggage and fill out some pre-employment paperwork. After that was all squared away he got to meet with the teams equipment manager, Terry O’Day. Terry was lighting one cigarette with the one he was about to extinguish when he noticed this fresh-faced kid walk in; “West Coast Huh? We don’t wear baggy pants in this league, and I’m not gonna cut up you socks so they slouch over your skates!” Taken back, JoJo wondered how he knew he was from the West Coast but remembered that the draft was televised, and they must have had a graphic about his hometown up there. Before finishing his thought, Terry snapped “Bet your wondering how I knew you were from the west coast?” JoJo replied “I just assumed you got that information from the telecast of the draft…”. Terry jerked his head back laughing and said “I havnt watch anything on ‘television in 20 years! No I knew you was from the West Coast because of your clothing; Its too tight and fancy for anything out of the Midwest or northeast.” After spending an hour taking measurements, and getting his stick/helmet/glove orders set with CCM, he was off to see the head shed.

He walked into GM G2019’s office, and immediately noticed the proclivity for Japanese culture his new GM had. There was a sand and rock garden in one corner, and full sized koi pond in another. The GM, not at a chair, but rather cross-legged behind his 18” tall desk; asked the rookie to join him. Unsure how to sit normally on a Zabuton, he went with the “legs crossed straight ahead and arms back in lounge position. The GM had a few items on the agenda to get the rookie squared away. The schedule was first, and quite daunting. 0600 every morning was a bag skate with strength and conditioning coach Larry Lurphy, something all rookies and players coming off IR were instructed to do. Breakfast at 0730, then weights. At 1100 it was film with position coach Igor Smarianov. At 1300, lunch was served. On Gamedays, it was at this point he could head home to catch a pregame nap. On non game days, this time slot was just filled with the following letters “JR”. Curious, JoJo asked G2019, “What does this 2 hour time slot with JR mean?” The GM said “that is your time for personalized training with Jeremy Roenitch, our 3rd party skating and skills coach”. Jeremy Roenitch had a reputation as one of the toughest son of a bitches around, but could whip skaters into shape faster than a train from Osaka to Tokyo. Once the schedule was signed off, G2019 moved into the zero tolerance and social media policies. Then he turned over the keys to a nice little apartment located near the arena on the 13th floor of the Riverfront Towers. With that he said “see ya tomorrow kid, get some rest!”

The next day was a blur, until lunchtime; the spread put on by the organization was exquisite. There were all sorts of fresh fruits, whole grains, yogurt, grilled chicken, and 3 or 4 different salad combinations. Now JoJo is a big boy, measuring in at 6’5” and tipping scales at 240 lbs. so he was on the search for something a little more… savory. He remembered he saw a hot dog guy 3 blocks from the arena in the financial district, so he made a dash. He grabbed 3 hot dogs, and washed it down with 2 black cherry yogurt cups. During his second yogurt cup, a grizzly looking man, presumably somewhere north of 50 years old plopped down and exclaimed “I guess I’m gonna make you throw up today!” JR had watched the rookie inhale the 3 hot dogs, and was out for blood.
They hit the ice and started with one skate inside-outside edge turning. The goal here was to use one blade to propel yourself down the ice with as much speed as possible. This was done to coach edge control and balance. It was also a great way to increase the amount of power per stroke gained when skating regularly. They did 10 laps, 5 on each foot. After that it was time for transition control, front to back and back to front. To do this, they skated loops around the circles painted on the ice, always facing one wall. i.e. when you get to the bottom fo the circle, you are skating backwards, but then when you get to the top of the circle you transition to skating forwards. There are 5 circles on a sheet of ice, and they went through all 5 on each repetition. After they had accomplished 50 circles, JoJo was ready to tap out, but they were only 40 minutes into a 2-hour session. This is when JR looked directly at JoJo and said “ I told you I was gonna make you puke! Think again before grabbing 3 hot dogs at lunch!” After circles it was all out top speed training, end board to end board, down and back for one repetition. After 10 reps, they most to acceleration; side board to side board for one rep. After 10 reps, they combined the top end speed and acceleration activities into Ladders. Made famous by Herb Brooks, and known across all hockey lanscapes, this simple drill is goal line to blue line, and back; then goal line to red line, and back; then goal line to far blue line and back; then goal line to far goal line and back. This is considered 1 rep. There would be a 60 second breather in between each rep. On the rep after the 3rd break, JoJo gave the hot dogs back in the trashcan on the bench. They were 5 minutes short of their 2 hours, but JR said “That’s enough, see ya tomorrow! What are ya having for lunch?” “Grilled Chicken garden salad” sputtered JoJo through convulsions.

JoJo couldn’t believe it, he had been on the ice for almost 2 hours and didn’t even see a puck. Since it was a non-game day he showered, and headed straight home. He would be fast asleep by 6pm, and get a solid 12 hours before the alarm clock rang to do it all again.

-Ox

(1,516 words: ready for grading)

Vaxlare · 03-16-2022, 01:43 PM

Always love getting to read about Jojo's experience

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