First off, I just want to know how I died in the first place. I think it would be cool todie on the ice in action, but honestly it probablywas somethig boring like slipping on ice and breaking my neck or geting mugged by a homeless man. Nevertheless, in this alternate world that I'm living in now, I would try and make hokcey a new sport to people there, me being the founder of the game, obviously. I would try and describe it and try and play it as close to normal, like all the rules the same, wear the same equipment, etc, but I would mix up a few of the rules to my liking, like penalties. Who likes penalties anyways? You get to miss the play and sit on the box for a few minutes just cause you sashed a guy cause he deserved it, or tripped somebdoy to save a goal. My version would be very brutal,as I would exclude all penalties. Mwahaha
Well no way in hell would I start off with "it's on ice" to a whole bunch of people who have never played. That would get them to lose interest right away. I would start off with just sticks that looked somewhat like hockey sticks as best as we could find and maybe start with a ball instead of a puck, much how like you would always do in gym class as a kid in elementary school where everyone just chased the ball around. Once the rules are clear and we've gotten some scrimmage games in and everyone's comfortable, then we bring in the fact that it should be plaid on ice. I have no clue what to replace ice skates with because home made ice skates just sound like horrific injuries waiting to happen, so this universe might just have to rely on street hockey.
Boots is brought to a world of Midevil Times (not the restaurant thing) and is trying to grow the game of hockey to a culture unfamiliar to it. Boots attempts to assemble teams of peasants versus knights for a friendly game of field hockey on an old mud pit. A slightly roundish bolder would be perfect for a hockey ball and sticks from limbs of trees, farm equipment or other stick like objects are used as hockey sticks! The knights are full of armor and ready to play high impact as the peasant keep their rags and poor people clothes. It would not be fair, but the knights insisted it was for the best. As the ball is dropped, the knight removes his sword and the game goes south very quickly. Boots informs the knights that this is not the kind of blades he meant when trying to explain how ice skates worked.
The knights score! The boulder rolls into the barrel at the opposite end of the field while the last peasant falls to his knees and his head rolls the other way. The knights win, the peasants are defeated. Because they died.
To start, I'd have to make sure I bring along my frequently-used copy of "Ice Hockey for Dummies." Without that, this new reality will never know hot to play hockey, or else we would be playing such a loosely correlated version of the game that you'd hardly call them related. But, assuming I have that book, I would start by just making a candid game using the basics--brooms, paper ball, trash can on it's side. No ice at first. Or maybe I would start two games: ice skating and then field hockey. Once my new friends have become accustomed to both the rules of field hockey and how to skate on ice, I would merge the two together for the final lesson. But if the future of the sport of hockey rests entirely on my shoulders to teach, you might as well start digging a hockey-sized grave wherever we land. I know like 4 rules of hockey.
Dave Heinrich: Um, are you sure I am the one you are supposed to be coming for today?
Death: You can read the paperwork yourself!
Dave Heinrich: Okay the picture looks like me, but the name is clearly Danny Hunter.
Death: Which means you gotta die.
Dave Heinrich: My name is Dave Heinrich. Look it says so clearly in my text box Dave Heinrich!
Death: Pick your challenge Danny boy before I decide to start swinging.
Dave Heinrich after a light bulb moment: Let's see who can negotiate the bigger contract through my agent that is an important skill for a hockey player, right?
Death: Ha! You've got yourself a deal Danny boy I've never lost a negotiation.
Dave Heinrich: Then I'll go first to make it fair.
Moments later
Dave Heinrich: I was able to negotiate getting two Capri-Suns and an extra Fruit By The Foot in my lunchbox each day.
Death: A couple of juice pouches and a fruit snack! Oh this will be easy!
Hours later
Death: I owe your agent a fifth season of The Glades television series and a fresh box of Nabisco Twigs. How the bleep did you get fruit snacks?
Dave Heinrich: I told them what was going on and they knew their metaphysical muscle would win over yours.
Death: Well you win this time Danny boy, but I'll be back!
Dave Heinrich: Sure I'll see you when you deliver the Twigs.
Death is a tactical and analytical behemoth. A game of chess is one thing, as would coaching or managing a team. One would assume that a high end professional hockey player could outshine death in any skills competition, as hockey is one of the hardest games to learn and perfect. But Death is a sneaky one, who could probably surprise with deceptive skating, or perhaps puck-handling. Either way, I wouldn't chance it and I would through a curve ball into the skills competition repertoire.
The challenge I would pose to Death is to see who could get along better with the boys on the team. The boys would sniff out an imposter like nothing. He might be able to go top cheddar, but he can't wheel, snipe and celly. Death couldn't go out for brewskies or know the intricate details of what makes a good flow, or how to complement said lettuce. Death's a pylon, no chance he wins a beauty competition against a S69 champion with a sick muzzy and salad to match.
Checkmate, Death.
I would challenge the Reaper to a battle of both speed and accuracy. I doubt the reaper is a very good skater which makes this the obvious choice. Combining the speed aspect with a 4 target sharp shooting timed would be the ideal way for Cale to showcase his speed and handling of the puck along with accuracy to do it in 4 consecutive shots. It would be interesting to see if the reaper could skate at all and I assume using his scythe as his hockey stick I can’t imagine it would be very accurate. There is no was that Cale would try and cheat because he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the legitimacy of his win. He was put on this earth to play hockey and that is what he was going to do! Showcasing his top skills and why he was successful in the Junior level in the process. It would be a modern Bill and Teds bogus journey moment.
WRITTEN TASK: What skills competition do you think you can beat Death at? Why? Would you try to cheat, or just give it your best shot?
.
You can't cheat death so I think cheating is out of the question on this one. I'll have to pick a competition I think I'm best at and give it my all, goku style. As for what type of competition I'd win at I can't say. Oskar isn't particularly fast, so a speed skating competition is definitely a no go. I was leaning an accuracy competition, but my guess death would be sneaky good at that. Something tells me the guy has silky mitts and can wheel and snipe like no other. Perhaps a hardest shot competition? I think that would give me the best odds. In my mind death is like a skeleton, or a hooded reaper. Strength and power don't strike me as his main characteristics so let's go with hardest shot competition. Unfortunately a powerful shot isn't exactly Oskar's top quality, but given his size and strength I think he could win. Hopefully death gives a couple hours to put together a training montage and work on my clapper.
explaining hockey to dead people would be an intersting thing to try and accomplish. first we would have to actually learn what hockey is ourselves since half of teh time we are just dabbing down hte ice. that said once we learn ourselves what we need to do hten we can start by telling people what ice is. that might be a harder thing to accomplish than initally started, esspcially since ill be in hell which is eiher very hot or very cold depending on which british interpretation you use. Now to finish explaining things we are going to need sticks (we can use actually trees if those are a thing down htere) and some type of round thing since ill probably just give up on hte ice thing and play a version of hell street hockey. now for the rules, we are just going to say we have no rules and all you have to do is get the puck/ball into the net. the rest of the rules can come in over the next millennium sicne we are gonna be there for awhile.
artermis IIHF Commissioner
Patron Saint of the SMJHL
Posts:6,473 Threads: 353 Joined: May 2014 Reputation:54
Discord: artermis
Pronouns: He/Him
Player: Petr Svoboda
Petr is also as close to a machine you can get and still have a heart beat. Petr doesn't know better and would accept any challenge against Death itself with Petr's expectations being entirely winning the competition. Stickhandling? Death may be a shambling horror whose body knows no limits such as only having two hands, but Petr will wear his wrists to the bone rolling them a quickly as he can. Stamina? Death may not be hindered by such forces as gravity and friction, but Petr will stomp his feet endlessly until he dies from cardiac arrest. Accuracy? Well, death may have the sum of all human knowledge at their disposal, but Petr... well actually, Petr has the exact same thanks to his upbringing and the team of scientists behind him back in Czechia, so that one might be doable. I guess fiddle contests are the main way to make Petr lose.
MWHazard Wrote:i'll playwith anyone
playing with my teammates is part of the intangibles I bring to the table
i play with them a lot.
they didn't like it at first
but after a while, it just felt normal
Justice,Sep 18 2016, 02:09 PM Wrote:4-0 and 0-4 aren't that different tbh
McJesus - Today at 10:38 PM Wrote:FIRE EGGY
HIRE ARTY
Prompt 2:
Death is pretty good with that scythe, been slaying the dead with it since the dawn of time. I got to imagine that those scythe skills would translate pretty one to one into hockey stick skill so I definitely don't want to challenge him to any stick skill competitions. With that being said, I think I got to beat him with speed, death is quiet and represents the night himself and all the darkness within but is he fast? I doubt it. We'll be competing in speed skating around the track and not at the same time, I've seen people cheat in the Olympics, there's not doubt death himself won't treat and push me. Does death even have feet to put skates on or is he just kind of floating around out there? I guess it's kinda hard to run a chill up my spine from his very existence when I'm already on the ice so I don't see any disadvantage. As for myself, no way I'm cheating, my man would just slay me without a second thought.
Prompt 1: After a freak hockey accident left Svoboda in the hospital for a few days, he finally succumbed to his injuries. Following his passing, he suddenly woke up in a world completely foreign to him. It became clear to him that he actually had no part in choosing this world, unlike what the prompt said, as he would have of course chose one in which the sport of hockey already existed.
This was not the case in this new world, and as such, Svoboda would go on to introduce his beloved sport to his new friends.
He would probably start by introducing the core rules of the sport, and he'd do this by giving everyone a stick and a ball, and simply tell them to whack it around. Then he'd introduce goals and tell them to score. The last step, of course, would be to introduce the idea of ice and skating. Strapping sharp blades on their feet right away might be a bit much. Before that, he would gradually introduce new rules, starting with the most simple like interference and tripping, ending with the more complicated ones like offsides.
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