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***Aephino*** · 10-03-2023, 08:45 AM

***Caleb*** · 10-03-2023, 09:11 AM

PT Pass

*domffl* · 10-03-2023, 09:14 AM

To be honest, I don't even know if there is an IIHF team in Antarctica. But since I assume there aren't a lot of penguin renders, there isn't one. So, if I am being paid generously to run a one-week camp to whoever shows up, I would 100% do it in Antarctica. Who wouldn't want to visit the penguins?? And teach them how to play hockey! All their cute little sticks and gear. It would be a media field day.
But more importantly, I know there won't be bears there. Do you know how I know? The words "Arctic" and "Antarctic" roughly translate to "bears" and "no bears." Therefore, Antarctica has no bears! But that also means that there is no Coca-Cola products in Antarctica, either. But that's okay, I am more of a Pepsi-Cola guy, anyways.
My dream one day is to bring in a prospect class completely comprised of penguins. Then we'll se what the SHL has to say about that, especially when that all-penguin team completely demolishes their All-Star team. I would be the founder of the SPHL. And that is a legacy I can live with.

***Anthique*** · 10-03-2023, 09:55 AM

As a goalie, I want all my player to play well defensively and be responsible in our own zone. To win a hockey game, you need to play a good defensive game to limit the scoring chance against you.
The wingers needs to look at the defenders so when they have the puck, they have a constant pression against them. Not that complicated, but it's important too because defenseman have a great impact on the offensive side too and you need to limit their support.
The center have to help his defenseman so it's a 3vs3 in the zone so everyone have a player to look at. After his team get the puck, he needs to help getting on the offensive side so he get no rest. Always moving his skate to be ready when it's time to be on the offensive.
So that's mainly their job, that and hitting the guy who have the puck haha!

AW13 · 10-03-2023, 10:16 AM

ISFL PT

Bfine · 10-03-2023, 10:24 AM

Well as a forward who turned into a defenseman, Slavakov knows what it takes to help defensemen succeed. Unfortunately, most forwards only care about themselves and scoring goals, and don’t care about defense. While a member of the San Francisco Pride, Slavakov used to yell at his forwards to backcheck and block shots, with Murray responding “Who cares about blocks look at my goals” and Hargreeves responding “Ok boomer”. After bringing up the fact that defensemen are left alone in the D zone to GM Caleb Hayden, Caleb responded “Shut the fuck up no one cares about defense it’s all about points”. With this attitude, Slavakov knew he could not succeed in San Francisco, and signed with Chicago in free agency. The first day of practice, coach Corey yelled at Soderberg-Tremblay to make sure he backchecks and yelled at Minamino to block shots. Slavakov knew this would be a good place for him.

***_Blitz_*** · 10-03-2023, 10:56 AM

PT Pass

Bayley · 10-03-2023, 11:04 AM

You know what country could really use an IIHF team? That would be the lovely country of Grenada in the Carribbean. This country has 124k people. I think it would be a really fun nation to have hockey in. They do have a soccer team that is in the Olympics, so why not add another team and especially hockey. That would be the plan if Mercedes Bayle was given a big check. When it comes to money, she does not mess around. She is absolutely going to take up on any big check to promote her own brand and also potentially bring hockey to kids of another nation. This would be such a fun experience for people to really learn how to play and really also become fans of the San Francisco Pride. I think there is definitely more than one motive here. This would be a great opportunity that she would not pass up. You get money and be able to expand the game of hockey, why would you say no?

Words: 172

LordBirdman · 10-03-2023, 11:15 AM

The natural choice is for JFB to lead a development camp in his home country, the Central African Republic. There are a couple challenges that JFB will have to overcome in order to get this done: he needs immunity from prosecution for his parents role in stealing hundreds of millions of dollars from the country’s taxpayers; and he needs the country to spend at least 10% of its GDP on rink facilities and equipment programs in the country. For a poor African country, many international observers have pointed out the bizarre priorities of the CAR to spend vast sums of money on hockey development when economic and poverty programs would likely benefit society in much more impactful ways. That isn’t going to stop the sports federation council and JFB from trying to make CAR the premier African hockey country. The camp is going to draw early 20’s hockey players from poor eastern European countries with decent pay checks to teach the country’s youth how to skate and play hockey. The camps will be very well attended because of the air conditioning in the rink and free food provided to spectators.

*Carpy48* · 10-03-2023, 11:30 AM

Option 2

While it's technically more of a job for the defense on the team, from a goalie's perspective it never hurts if any player blocks shots or simply helps to minimize the shots on net. The fewer shots the goalie has to face, the smaller the chance the other teams scores. Even the forwards can do that. Of course they can try to score more to eventually outscore the other team and bring us a win, but if we just didn't have to face so many shots (the season is really starting well for me as you can see) that would be a big help. I'm not a coach and who knows what I'm talking about here, but anyone on the team can help minimize the other team's chances to score. Essentially it really comes down to that, especially this season while we aren't really a good team yet. Not getting completely killed by the other team every game would be nice.

***Rankle*** · 10-03-2023, 11:30 AM

Option 2

As a defenseman, there's only one thing I want my forwards to do to help me out on the ice: shoot the puck. Shots shots and more shots are what's gonna make us score baby and that's what I intend to do. I'm gonna sling the puck up to them as much and as often as I can and I want them to make that goalie feel like he's on the beaches of Normandy with the MG42's raining down upon him with rubber pucks. This is no mere hockey game, this is war, and I intend to be the victor. Every time a puck leaves the stick of a New England forward I want that goalie to be quaking in his skates and doing the thousand yard stare like a deer in headlights. This team will be something to fear in the SHL whether they like it or not! The New England Wolfpack will dominate.

Chomp Chomp Water Dog Barracuda

Scarecrow Noises Scarecrows

*takethehorizon* · 10-03-2023, 11:41 AM

Option 2

When building a player, especially a forward, the majority of people think how will I develop my player to help provide offense for my team. Whether that be the overdone sniper who is able to score goals at leaps and bounds. Or the classic playmaker who is made to handle the puck and dish it off to teammates to provide scoring chances for the other forwards to succeed. Sometimes a player makes a version of the 2 combining a good shot with good vision on the ice to put the puck in the back of the opponents net. But many of these users aren't thinking of the opposite end of the ice in the defensive zone. What happened to a shutdown defensive player like a Patrice Bergeron or an Anze Kopitar who take pride in not only filling the opposing net but also keeping the puck out of their own. I would like to see more defensive minded forwards in the SHL. Sure you may not be putting up the big numbers or being picked top 10 in fantasy but depending on the build and how well your player performs, I'm sure there's a larger market out there for these types of players than one would initially believe.

Word Count: 203

***KaleSalad*** · 10-03-2023, 12:18 PM

Cale would absolutely be putting a camp together in Australia! Where else would you be able to find more passionate fans in the entire world? They love all their sports and they show up to every sporting event in the masses to cheer on their teams. The camp would have multiple age groups in order to hit more demographics and would focus on allowing the star SHL players to make a name for themselves. Cale would reach out to friends from across the league including none other then @CementHands to help with the camp. It would start with young age groups to get them interested in the sport and then help the older ages fine tune some skills as they work towards the goal of playing the sport professionally. Australia would be an excellent place for the game to grow and would be the next ideal place to have an IIHF team if it were to expand! It is an amazing country to be in and only have good things to say about it!

WC:174

Rtpc31 · 10-03-2023, 12:57 PM

As a native of Latvia, Rence Sykut would love to instill his love for hockey to future generations to his Baltic neighbors in Lithuania and Estonia. It's never made sense to him why hockey has never caught on in these countries. The youth camp would emphasize fundamentals of skating, shooting, and passing, but the core principle would be teaching these kids how to celly. Technique is crucial when jettisoning yourself in the boards to celebrate that big goal. Quickness is key when grabbing the goalie's water bottle and shooting a geyser into the air to celebrate that bar down snipe. Finally, concentration is of utter importance when giving the Mutombo one finger wave after laying out the guy skating through the neutral zone with his head down. Hockey should be fun. Celly's are fun. It's time we brought that to the youth of Lithuania and Estonia, and make them the greatest celly artists the hockey world has ever seen.

Word count: 162

adamantium · 10-03-2023, 01:05 PM

Code:
OPTION 1: 199 Words

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Welcome to New Zealand, fuckers, land of the free and home of the brave. We're implanting an ice rink right smack in the middle of downtown Auckland in the middle of the summer, and only through the sheer fucking pain and heartbreak of having to skate on actively melting ice will they learn the truth of this beautiful fucking sport. You ever try ripping a wrister from what is essentially bare slush beneath your feet? In some ways, it turns you into more of a fucking tough son of a bitch. Really bolsters your wrist strength when you're basically shoveling the puck into the net beneath a layer of slurpee that you skate on. Also makes it really hard for the goalie when his eyes have been blinded by the chemically treated ice. Anyway, what were we talking about? Benson Fiorentini bringing professional Tekken to New Zealand? Fuck, that's the dream isn't it, getting paid cash by the corrupt IIHF to talk about the world's greatest sport, Tekken, with the people of a place that consistently aren't placing in international tournaments. Maybe we'll even see a kiwi champ at EVO in the next decade? Fuckin' who's to say, huh?

sigs by me bitch

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