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***jaypc8237*** · 11-30-2023, 01:57 AM

Option 1 - 162 Words

The Minnesota Monarchs will be winning the cup this season. Last season was one of their best years for nearly 10 seasons, ending up in the middle of the Wolfpack in the standings. But it didn’t matter in the end, everyone got lost in the Blizzard of the playoffs. But besides that, Minnesota has a really solid lineup this season, bringing back nearly all of last seasons players, and with them come up new rookies to the league that are ready to come out like a Stampede. But you never know what these rookies can do, come in to the league slow and prey on unsuspecting points like a Panther, or have Berserkers natural Battleborn Rage. What we do know is that these new shining North Stars have a presence about them, and they will come Kraken down on the opposition in every game like noble Knights.

(I’m not that great at Puns so I decided to mske the whole thing a pun Smile

Tylar · 11-30-2023, 03:49 AM

If we were being honest Sad Ketchup's SHL club the Chicago Syndicate's chances at winning the Simulation Hockey League's Challenge Cup are very limited. You know what is brown and sticky? a stick, that's right. The Syndicate are bringing back a veteran squad that is likely too veteran to win and could potentially be a bottom 6 team. Sad Ketchup's Simulation Major Junior Hockey League team the Newfoundland Berserkers on the other hand may have a higher chance of winning the Four Star Cup. The Newfoundland Berserkers were able to make it to the Four Star Cup finals last year and are brining back relatively the same team. The Newfoundland Berserkers are known as an always good team these days but the SMJHL is unpredictable. Sad Ketchup's best chance to win a cup right now in down in Newfoundland with Sad Ketchup being one of the headline players on the team and he will have to play like it if they hope to win the Four Stars Cup

(174 Words)

dankoa · 11-30-2023, 05:26 AM

ISFL PT (username is Drizzy)

Salming · 11-30-2023, 08:18 AM

Task 1:

Seattle Argonauts are definitely one of the hot favourites to win the cup in the season number 74 in the Simulation Hockey League. They have experience of back-to-back cups in seasons 67 and 68. That's why you can always trust that group. We are going to ignore the fact they have maybe five or six active players anymore and rest of the squad is filled with loyal inactive players but at least coaches know what those bodies can do on the ice. They will never disappoint. And you can win hockey games with a one five-man unit when you have a good goalkeeper like Willie Miller. The plan is to that first unit scores goals and rest of the squad will then defend the lead. Easy? Simple? Yes. And who knows if there will be another SEAMAN in the final like in season 67 or 68, haha. You never know. Don't underestimate proven winners, that is my clue for you.

*Ricer13* · 11-30-2023, 09:54 AM

[Image: IMG_9206.png?ex=657b0902&is=65689402&hm=...70c91dfa2&]

Yes

Rabidsponge21 · 11-30-2023, 11:01 AM

How best to sabotage the Berserkers?

I think what I would do is use some of incoming contract $ and pay for an professional artist to redo their logo.

How is this sabotage? Well we all know the current logo is totally mid - so I would then get one made that was so amazing for fans. Then take those and really stealthy "leak" the logo out there on some pamphlets and news sites about the new logo being used for the Berserkers moving forward. The fans would get so hyped about this new branding that looks great and have them so excited about it happening. For it to finally be revealed it was a fake all along and then watch as the mayhem breaks as so many fans are disappointed about the current logo but can't use the one leaked because it doesnt even belong to the team for ownership rights to use it if that public pressure gets to high! Diabolical. (162 words)

*Otrebor13* · 11-30-2023, 12:33 PM

Sabotaging the opponent is always fun to do, but of course you don’t want to endanger anyone and therefore finding the right sabotage is important. If it came down to making the playoffs, I would definitely try to do a few different things to kind of get the opposition off their game, like hide some of their equipment, or maybe even put some of their stuff in the showers, just to inconvenience them a little bit.

However, I would do a few small things just to make them laugh and think it was done, but my master plan would be to put a thin layer of Vaseline on all the players’ sticks. Make it so it’s not noticeable, but it would definitely have an impact on their ability to receive, hold or move the puck during the game. I would go out of my way to do it on all sticks, even the many backups so that if they thought the sticks were faulty and wanted to change, the replacements would still have Vaseline on them.

Cobbenstein · 11-30-2023, 12:46 PM

Option 2:

Denebor is known for his more subtle side when he needs to use it. Denebor would turn up to the Quebec City Citadelles arena in the dead of the night and sneak in through the broken window in their run down arena. Once inside he would make his way into the showers in their arena. He would take all the shampoo in the arena, empty the bottles, and replace it with a chemical to damage their hair. Over the next couple of practices and games they will use it and their hair will get weaker and weaker. As everyone in this league knows, the strength of the team is directly tied to the strength of their hair braids. If their hair is wiry and gross it can't be braided as effectively and therefore the Kraken will win the game. Carolina will be headed to the playoffs and the Citadelles will be headed out to golf with their terrible hair.

WC: 159

MrPresident · 11-30-2023, 01:27 PM

Option 2
There's many things the recently elected Captain of Yukon would do to secure his team a championship, but top of his list would be to replace his opponent's hockey sticks with golf clubs. First, it's a form of psychological warfare - get them thinking of going golfing, so they don't have the motivation to plan for the championship. But secondly, it's just impractical. Of course, the golf clubs would be wrong handed for each player, and it would involve forwards having to play with drivers, and defencemen with putters. The shaft lengths would be too small for the tall players and too tall for the short players. They may or may not also be doused in Malamute urine, to ensure the smell is revolting. Seppanen would do anything and everything for the sweet sweet victory, even if that means that he's got to be malleable with the rule book and the honour code.

wizard_literal · 11-30-2023, 02:13 PM

Code:
OPTION 1 - Rock that dad bod

Written Task: Describe how your team is going to win the cup this season, because obviously they are. Include at least one dad joke.

The Carolina Kraken will easily win the cup this season headed by 4th year Left Defense star street cat Lazer Gato! I know what you're saying, a Cat is going win the cup? You've got to be Kitten me! Well I'm here to say cut the Cattitude I'm not kitten around. Let me put my thinking cat on and tell you just how it's gonna happen! Gato is an expert in primarily blocking opposing shots on goal, he's basically a second goalie out there. A rigorous offseason training routine of chasing pucks like their mice is the key to this cat's defensive prowess. A Kraken win this season was just meant to be, you could say it was kitten in the stars! When the Kraken suffer a loss they don't stay down for long, you could say we've always got a PAWsitive attitude. Determination is the key to victory in a long season and there's no more fur-midable opponent than a team with Gato on the defensive front.

168 words

*slothfacekilla* · 11-30-2023, 02:17 PM

Code:
Graphic option: Draw your player's dad holding the cup.

***fubaguy*** · 11-30-2023, 02:57 PM

Option 2 MonkaS

How would Bobby Tkachuky sabotage another team before a game. Well theirs lots off options too sabotage the other team so we make the playoff. The first good but simple option is to spike the Gatorade! Sneak into the teams locker room and spike the Gatorade with something strong like vodka. It might not work right away but as the game goes on the team would get to drunk to skate properly. Some players might get extra made or be so intoxicated that they start taking unnecessary and dumb penalties giving your team a huge advantage. Another way to Bobby would sabotage the other team is to mess with their equipment. You could put itchy powder in there equipment so they can't focus and are unconfutable. Another option would be to loosen their skate blades so they fall off causing the player too fall and give you odd man advantages.

Valpix · 11-30-2023, 03:35 PM

How is Edmonton going to win the Cup? I should think it's rather obvious considering we literally just won the damn thing. We've got one of the best forward groups in the league led by Benjamin Surkhi-Ze'ev, Luke Laraque, Evan Winter, Jack St. Clair, EGGWARD ELRIC, and Oles Kobliska, to go along with a talented defensive core featuring myself, Emil Egli, Luca Hunziker, and others, and strong goalkeeping in Justin Time. Throw in championship experience as a team now, and some fresh young energy from rookies Theodore Svatos and Furious Chicken and we should be considered favorites to do the damn thing all over again. Hopefully this time we can actually win a home game in the finals, after winning a final where every game was run by the road team. Guess you could say the home cooking was a bit undercooked. Or something I don't fucking know

***bluesfan55*** · 11-30-2023, 03:46 PM

option 1

A long time ago the Hamilton Steelhawks loved soap. They used to be addicted to soap, but they're clean now. Why? Because the Steelhawks used this soap to clean off their numerous Challenge Cups. But now that since they haven't won one in a while, the Steelhawks no longer need soap to clean their cups. This season the Steelhawks are determined to win another cup in order to get more soap to clean it off. This is a team that historically is one of the most successful franchises in Simulation Hockey League history, so it is hard to believe that the team's general managers, who have both won the cup while running the team, have lost their magic touch. Couple that with the team being on the rise and quite simply this is Hamilton's year. Their combination of veterans and young talent should be more than enough to bring the cup back to where it belongs.

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

chetib · 11-30-2023, 03:50 PM

I want to start out by saying this was not what I expected when I clicked on a topic called "Your dad" after the week we've just seen. I must also applaud you graphics people for taking the high ground as I have not seen a single Corey Perry image after looking through all the submissions.

Anyway onto my other rambling in option 2

Ok, so if I am trying to sabotage someone I am going to go after the skates first. I would probably start by ensuring the skates were properly sharpened first so that they could more easily slip past the equipment manager but I would loosen the blades so they would feel slightly off for the entire game. I wouldn't loosen them so much that they fall off though just so they can't get that good push off. Secondly I would probably use a bit of super glue in the joins of some equipment. Stiff elbow pads or shin guards make for an annoying experience. Really I would continue these sort of micro aggression on gear to throw off players when they are trying to perform. Then you allow them to defeat themselves and get into their own heads. Muhahahaha

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