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***Shiamus*** · 12-29-2023, 09:38 PM

Hey all! The holidays have been in full force and I had a chance to see what some members of each SMJHL team received for Christmas! Let's dive right into the details and check out all of the presents!

Anchorage Armada:

Deep Thought received a journal for their gift, so that they have a place to write down all of their thoughts and reflect on them later on.

Bongo received - take a wild guess - a pair of bongo drums! They said thank you politely, and then later shoved the drum set in their closet with the 17 other sets they've collected over the years.

Stun Gun received a lifetime ban from the Anchorage Valley Mall.

Carolina Kraken:

Betzee Nickelback received a vinyl player and a vinyl record of "Bless The Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts.

Lazer Gato received a laser pointer, which they then proceeded to chase for eight straight hours.

Vincent van Gogh received a hearing aid.

Stan Free received a print of the movie poster for "Free Willy 2: Electric Boogaloo" - signed by the cast and crew.

Colorado Raptors:

Oranj Kohne received a brand new Tesla Model 3. Someone must have been on the nice list this year!!

Napoleon Dinklage received a pair of stilts.

Update Portal received a Dangerous and Deadly Orange Substance.

COLBOT2 received a brand-new AMD Processor.

Detroit Falcons:

Teemu Salami received a charcuterie board with "Dentroint Falchions" engraved on the top.

Luma Lee received three ten-pack boxes of Sharpie pens.

Zedward Zilliams received a bozen bhocolate bhip bookies.

Great Falls Grizzlies:

Peanut received a box of chocolates.

WonderBread received a box of chocolates.

Warwick Windsor received a box of chocolates.

Jani Manty received the deed to a mansion in Beverly Hills.

In unrelated news, I have heard rumors of tension rising in the Great Falls locker room. No clue why that is rumored.

Kelowna Knights:

Mauga received a NERF gun.

Activity Check received 2 TPE.

Pablo Icecreambar received 2 kilos of powdered sugar.

James Howlett received a deluxe calligraphy set.

Maine Timber:

Shotty McStopper received a bottle of wine and a cheese basket.

Leon Rizzton received a 3-night stay at the Rizz Carlson Hotel in downtown Oakland, California. Not to be confused with the Ritz Carlton.

Dwayne Swanson received an expired FastPass for the Disney California Adventure ride "Soarin' Over California".

Nevada Battleborn:

Unspeakable Horror received a virtual gift of the critically-acclaimed game "Resident Evil: Village".

Carl Hatchimal received a new pair of skates, with carbon-fiber technology.

NBBBOT3 received a sticker decal of Keanu Reeves with the word "Zaddy" above his head in the form of a halo.

Newfoundland Berserkers:

Mac Griddle received a $25 gift card to McDonald's.

Ho-Lee Smokes received a JUMBO pack of beef flavored sunflower seeds.

Slowpoke received a San Jose Sharks jersey of Brent Burns and a corresponding swimsuit.

Quebec City Citadelles:

Bog Damsel received a cast-iron frying pan.

Supah Dupah received a scroll with the word "Liberty" written on it in invisible ink. Supah used lemon juice and a q-tip to carefully extract the word from the paper, and then searched it in the SHL database. It popped up one result - "Chicolas Nage". Supah had never heard of this player before in their short career, but was determined to find out just why someone would gift him the scroll and send him on a wild goose chase. Supah digged a little more into Chicolas's backstory and figured out that Chicolas was from Washington - specifically the National History Museum of Modern Art. He hopped straight on the next flight to go find a trace of Chicolas. After many hours, he arrived at said museum, and asked around to see if anyone knew Chicolas's whereabouts. After trying again and again, seemingly coming up with nothing - a man in a cape walked up to him - eyes ablaze - and gave Supah a box. Supah turned around to thank the man, but the man in the cape had already vanished. Carefully, Supah opened the box..... and he couldn't believe his eyes. Inside the box was simply a picture of Nicolas Cage wearing a gnome hat, with the words "I'm a gnome and you just got GNOOOOMED." written inside. Supah Dupah - satisfied with his quest - ripped up the picture and disappeared into the night.

Juan Tymer received a box of chocolates.

Regina Elk:

Red Panda received a copy of the Disney/Pixar movie "The Good Dinosaur".

Bean Beanman Jr. didn't receive a gift per-se, but took a trip to Chicago with their family to see the "Cloud Gate". They had a great trip and made some fantastic memories.

Troy McClure IIII received a book about the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. His family noted that he thinks about the Roman Empire every day.

St. Louis Scarecrows:

James Madison received a laminated copy of the USA Declaration of Independence.

Charlie Slurpe received a ramen-making kit - complete with fresh ramen noodles.

Average Dude received a card with a picture of Santa Claus on the front. Inside was written "You were on the nice list this year!" Also inside was a twenty dollar bill.

Vancouver Whalers:

GM's Son received a yacht - just like every other Christmas before this one.

Masked Stanger received a roll of masking tape. For their masks - assumingly.

VANBOT1 received a duck action figure of "Duckington - The Private Investigator". VANBOT1 has never heard of Duckington before.

Yukon Malamutes:

Squidwardo Tentacles received clarinet lessons.

Fred Bread received some red thread.

Jim Wen received a year's membership to 24 Hour Fitness from his close friend Jim Nao. They plan on going together daily once the new year kicks off.

That about wraps up my Christmas report! I hope everyone had a great holiday season, and are looking forward to the upcoming playoffs!

*kahri* · 12-29-2023, 09:59 PM

See this is when I will allow my name in others mouths <333
gotta support my bestie Rascal Flatts. Thank you Santa!!

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