The following article is a parody work made with fictitious people, events, and expansion processes. This is not an official statement by the SMJHL Head Office, it is not representative of my feelings towards the Tidal nor an accurate representation of how anything happened. Just having some fun.

In the SMJHL, the emergence of two new teams usually sparks excitement and anticipation. The San Diego Tidal have made waves in their first season in the SMJHL, managing to be in the top half of the standings and are looking like likely home ice hosts for the first round of the playoffs at least. However, for one SMJHL Head Office member, Timmy Two-Face, the announcement of the San Diego Tidal's arrival was far from thrilling. Known for his candid and often controversial remarks, Timmy Two-Face didn't hold back in expressing his disdain for the league's newest addition. In a recent press conference, he aimed sharp criticism at the San Diego Tidal, leaving many in attendance taken aback." San Diego Tidal? More like San Diego Title, signifying a Title Wave of Bad Ideas," quipped Timmy Two-Face, his words laced with sarcasm. "Who in their right mind thought placing a hockey team in sunny California was wise? Last time I checked, hockey was played on ice, not sand."

We would like to remind our readers that Two-Face had previously advocated for a team to be put in what he called the extremely stable hockey market of Tempe, Arizona. (This may have something to do with Two-Face’s prolific love for the game of golf and the desire for an excuse to head to Scottsdale as much as possible. This article will be filled with these little asides as we see it as our duty to warn the readers of the known inaccuracies of Two-Face’s Statements) Timmy has also been a critic of the Tidal’s color scheme, which he called both lazy and eye-wateringly ugly. (Readers should know that Timmy Two-Face is known for wearing orange camo pants and purple jackets, not exactly a fashionista.) Timmy Two-Face's sharp criticism of the San Diego Tidal not only sparked debate within the hockey community but also highlighted the ongoing tension between tradition and expansion in the sport. His disdain for the team's location in sunny California and his sarcastic remarks about the team's name and color scheme reflect a sentiment often echoed by purists who believe hockey should remain rooted in its traditional markets. What is completely unhinged is his bold hypocrisy.

Timmy Two-Face's mockery didn't stop there. With a smirk, he continued, "What's next, a team called the Miami Meltdown? The Mexico City Eagles? The Lima Llamas? The El Paso Lassos? Or perhaps the Honolulu Hailstorm? It's preposterous!" (It should be noted that as a reminder, the SMJHL and the SHL already have teams in southern markets, including Florida). While Timmy Two-Face's comments may have drawn laughter from some quarters, they also elicited a wave of criticism from fans and supporters of the San Diego Tidal, as well as advocates for expanding hockey into non-traditional markets. In response to the backlash, representatives from the San Diego Tidal stood firm in their belief that the team would not only thrive but also help grow the sport of hockey in Southern California. We also asked for Two-Face’s feelings about the players and GM of San Diego, but Timmy only said that he thought they were all fine. We also queried him if he could name a single member of the team which he could not.

Despite the controversy stirred up by Timmy Two-Face's remarks, one thing is certain: the San Diego Tidal's journey in the SMJHL is just beginning, and only time will tell if they can weather the storm of criticism and prove their detractors wrong. As for Timmy Two-Face, known for his unfiltered opinions, his comments serve as a reminder that in the world of sports, controversy and criticism are never far behind, especially when it comes to challenging the status quo. Additionally, the SHL HO has recently launched an investigation into the affairs of Two-Face after allegations of bribery in putting a Lobster related team into the SMJHL have emerged. Whether his remarks will have any lasting impact on the San Diego Tidal's future remains to be seen (probably won’t), but one thing is certain: they've certainly made waves in the hockey world.

A note from the real author: Take none of this seriously and do not worry, I will be doing one on the Highlanders as well.

WC: 750