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+--- Thread: I think I'm already autoretired but just in case: I retire (/showthread.php?tid=118566)
I think I'm already autoretired but just in case: I retire - Beaver - 08-20-2021
Friendly Reminder: Kindness is free. But if enough people withhold kindness, and we collude to keep the supply down, people will start to panic. Soon the despair and desperation will set in, and that's when they'll finally realize that they needed nice guys like us after all. And they’ll wish they were nicer to us when they still had the chance.
And once the panic begins we can start charging for our kindness. Just like water, kindness is a public good that needs to be privatized. But unlike water, which is unfortunately too abundant to control, kindness is already becoming scarce. Thanks to the internet, we have arrived at a moment where, for the first time, even the most basic forms of human decency and kindness feel special. We can feel the value of each act of kindness. And it is this unique moment of scarcity we must seize.
If you don’t know what a public good is, it’s like a public park. When you see your neighbor go into the park to play catch with his son, you may feel anger, but there's nothing illegal about his enjoyment of the park, even if you hate his kid. When we all share the same space, you're not as free to do what you want.
But if someone charges a fee to use a park, that’s a private good. You’re free to use it because you’re paying for it. You can make that kid pay more to enter the park just because you hate him. And that's freedom.
So what happens when you charge for a public good? Well, that's the greatest thing of all. Take kindness, for example. Kindness currently costs nothing. As a result, people are wasteful with their kindness. They spend it on people who don’t deserve it and, as a result, devalue their own time and effort. If you charge for kindness, then people will be much more thoughtful about how they spend it. They’ll choose to spend it on those who deserve it, like me, and that will raise its value. It's the best of all worlds.
Putting a price on kindness would have a transformative effect on the world. If everyone starts charging for their kindness, the cost of kindness will go up, so people will be forced to conserve it. If you're always thinking about how much it costs you to be kind, you won't go out of your way to be kind to people. Remember: Kindness is too valuable to be wasted on people who won't pay you for it.
So that’s why we’re here. To transform the world. To drive up the price of kindness and make it a luxury. If I want kindness, I should have to pay for it. And I don’t mind paying. I’m happy to pay. But I'm a connoisseur of kindness, which means I want the best kindness. I don't want kindness from a Steve or a Jeff. Their kindness is shit. I want kindness from Mason, the schoolyard bully, or Veronica, the girl who used to steal my shoes, or from my mom and dad. I want kindness from people who really, really hate me. Their kindness is like a fine wine. It's so rare, I can savor it for hours. It's nothing like the shitty toilet wine from Steve and Jeff.
So I want to pay Mason, Veronica, and my parents to be kind to me. And I want Mason, Veronica, and my parents to charge me for that kindness. That way, we’ll all be winners. My parents don't need to love me, they just need to love my money. And that's enough. They'll be kind to me, and they'll be compensated for their kindness so it doesn't feel like such a chore anymore.
And I'm not asking for much. I would love it if they just spent some time with me. Maybe we could have a family dinner or watch some TV together. We don't even need to talk. I just want to be in the same room as you guys, and maybe we can pretend for a moment that we all want to be there, and that we're a happy, normal family. And I know I can afford it. I have a steady income, and I can pay for your kindness for as long as you'll have me. You can even quit your jobs, so we have time for each other like we used to. And who knows, maybe you'll find out that you actually like being kind to me. Maybe you'll even want to be kind for free.
Anyway, I miss you guys. It's been really hard these last few years, and I could really use a little bit of kindness right now. I love you.
RE: I think I'm already autoretired but just in case: I retire - JSS - 08-20-2021
u been on the ballot
RE: I think I'm already autoretired but just in case: I retire - Blastmeaway - 08-20-2021
Hi beaver is blats.
Sincerely
Blast
<3
RE: I think I'm already autoretired but just in case: I retire - C9Van - 08-20-2021
Pancake legend <3
RE: I think I'm already autoretired but just in case: I retire - pauadrian - 08-20-2021
I disagree with the way that was handled. It was handled poorly.
RE: I think I'm already autoretired but just in case: I retire - Beaver - 08-20-2021
08-20-2021, 06:43 PMJSS Wrote: u been on the ballotFor Most Handsome Man 2021?
08-20-2021, 08:08 PMBlastmeaway Wrote: Hi beaver is blats.Hi blats is baever <3
Sincerely
Blast
<3
08-20-2021, 08:13 PMC9Van Wrote: Pancake legend <3Pancake legends <3
08-20-2021, 08:17 PMpauadrian Wrote: I disagree with the way that was handled. It was handled poorly.3rd best shitpost lmao
RE: I think I'm already autoretired but just in case: I retire - wumaduce - 08-20-2021
08-20-2021, 08:17 PMpauadrian Wrote: I disagree with the way that was handled. It was handled poorly.