Hello good afternoon. I am TheSparkyDee and I have been given a punishment for corrupting the games of the SMJHL! I say to those accusations, that I was not trying to corrupt the SMJHL games. I have called this press conference to apologize to every single person I have made upset with this mistake. I also want to apologize to the HO. The crime I committed was a very massive mistake. It shocked the SMJHL world to its knees. The fans of the Anchorage Armada started to boo me on Twitter…. @diporov…. They would send me voice messages telling me to eat a brick… I would respond “how? That is not possible.” They would also call me names like SparkyDumbAss, DeeBigFool and many more I could not say during this media conference. The SHL and the SMJHL had been running just fine before I decided to step in and help. The SMJHL needed a hero while @AgentSmith630 decided to go skiing in the Swiss Alps. They took a risk on me and I failed them. I have been giving many chances to do this right and be the best simmer I can be. There have been a few people talking about how much of a mistake this was to anger the Anchorage fans, and the team and GMs. I will now open for questions… 


Yes sir you there with the Kelowna Coat. 


“Good afternoon, I am with the Kelowna Post, and I have a question about the punishment you received? Do you think it was fair or not enough, or maybe even too much?” 


Well Wanger from the Kelowna Post, I believe it was a fair deal, they took $2 million from me… I think that is a fair trade for the massive mistake I made. So no it was not too much at all. I was left with a massive warning and said if I do it again, I will have to go do the simming for the Simulation U-5 Hockey League. The lowest division in hockey to sim. It would be a massive pay cut and a boring job. Have you ever seen a U5 game Wagner? It is mostly children falling over A LOT! 


Go ahead with next question… from the woman in the Disneyland sweater. 


“Yes.. Sabrina from the Anaheim Outlaw Media Team. Did you do this on purpose? Are you targeting the Anchorage Armada GMs? Who is next? ARE YOU GOING TO TARGET..... US? You are a very bad simmer.”


UHHH… Well the answer that is no, I would never do it on purpose. You lady are crazy. I am not “targeting” anyone, I have never hurt anyone doing this. I think I am a very good simmer, I am not as good as Mr. AgentSmith! He was punished not too long ago, why are we making such a massive deal here with me THE BACKUP, when he did it only a few weeks ago. I have shown nothing but love to that Anchorage Armada team and GMs. I worked alongside with one of the GMs during the World Junior Championships, so the issue is not them or me going against them, making them lose for my personal gain. It is nothing like that. The real issue is you wearing that Disneyland sweater in 80 degree weather… You crazy lady. 


Next question to the mysterious man in the back… With the hood on. 


“Yes… I am with the America Post, I have been wondering why they picked you to be a simmer? Were there not more qualified people. I just do not understand how you were chosen. You have shifted the season in a different direction and it is an easy job and you somehow mess it up. So, I do not understand but somehow you have done it…..”


Wait what is your question? You are just lighting me up like a Christmas tree. You know what… I do……


“You have shown us these 30 plus games over the last two days and have not improved, how do you see yourself not doing this again? Better… Sparky?”


The way you ask questions bothers me, and you look funny with that creepy hood on. I am going to make sure I cross my T’s and dot my I’s. And make sure that never happens again.


Okay next question, yes you ma’am. 


“Hi Anchorage Sports Net, do you hate the GMs of Anchorage Armada? Bad blood? We did not perform well after the mistake you have made. Do you think this will cause this Anchorage Armada team to crash and burn after what you did?”


I do not think the amazing GMs in Anchorage are so mad at me, but the system. FHM screwed them… not me. I made a mistake yes, but that goalie who played has the most wins so far through 50 plus games. FHM did not fall in their favor and it sucked that I was there to suffer too. I feel like when I make those mistakes I am the one at fault, but that team still has to go out and win. So… yea screw you lady. Do I hate someone? Ha! I do not hate anyone... The great @Gwdjohnson has been nothing but nice and easy going through the process. I do not see this being an issue for Anchorage in the long run, I wish them nothing but the best. 


We have time for one more question. Go ahead Janice… nice to see you again. 


“Hello Sparky, Janice from the Detroit Channel 2, going to keep this nice and easy for you. Is it true of anyone paying you to do this? Oh wait one more, why are you doing this press conference.”


Oh Janice always with the hard questions. I have received gifts, but I turn them away. I had gifts of the NFL team Carolina Panthers season tickets, or Denny’s Gift Cards. I am a man of honor. I do not accept any gifts. I can not do that, because that would cause me to get into more trouble. And Janice this press conference, why you ask? Well it is real simple. TO GET MY 2 MILLION DOLLARS BACK!!! GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!




(1033 Words)

#freesparky

I had gifts of the NFL team Carolina Panthers season tickets,

Worse than the $2m fine honestly

Zach Evans || Forward || Winnipeg Jets
Name: Zach Evans
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 195 lbs
Number: 18
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Career Statistics:
S32 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 9, A: 5, P: 14, +/-: -1, PIMS: 12, H: 59
S33 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 8, A: 15, P: 23, +/-: 3, PIMS: 49, H: 106
S34 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 14, A: 14, P: 28, +/-: 7, PIMS: 46, H: 96
S35 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 22, A: 26, P: 48, +/-: -4, PIMS: 23, H: 113
S36 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 28, A: 30, P: 58, +/-: 23, PIMS: 51, H: 140
S37 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 24, A: 27, P: 51, +/-: 2, PIMS: 36, H: 220
S38 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 27. A: 38, P: 65, +/-: 12, PIMS: 45, H: 158
S39 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 15, A: 32, P: 47, +/-: 11, PIMS: 43, H: 85
S40 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 22, A: 31, P: 53, +/-: 11, PIMS: 15, H: 49
S41 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 27, A: 35, P: 62, +/-: 26, PIMS: 34, H: 82
S42 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 16, A: 29, P: 45, +/-: -3, PIMS: 15, H: 6
S43 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 16, A: 29, P: 45, +/-: 11, PIMS: 27, H: 15
S44 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 14, A: 31, P: 45, +/-: 3, PIMS: 17, H: 17
S45 (WPG): GP: 50, G: 15, A: 34, P: 49, +/-: 4, PIMS: 2, H: 27
CAREER: GP: 700, G: 257, A: 376, P: 633, +/-: 105, PIMS: 415, H: 1,173
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Statistics:
S34 (WPG): GP: 5, G: 2, A: 1, P: 3, +/-: 0, PIMS: 4, H: 7
S36 (WPG): GP: 6, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: -1, PIMS: 0, H: 16
S37 (WPG): GP: 18, G: 11, A: 14, P: 25, +/-: 19, PIMS: 12, H: 81
S38 (WPG): GP: 13, G: 6, A: 9, P: 15, +/-: 5, PIMS: 4, H: 32
S39 (WPG): GP: 13, G: 5, A: 6, P: 11, +/-: -2, PIMS: 6, H: 31
S40 (WPG): GP: 14, G: 5, A: 4, P: 9, +/-: 1, PIMS: 13, H: 7
S41 (WPG): GP: 13, G: 8, A: 6, P: 14, +/-: 3, PIMS: 9, H: 26
S43 (WPG): GP: 17, G: 4, A: 9, P: 13, +/-: 11, PIMS: 2, H: 4
S44 (WPG): GP: 18, G: 4, A: 15, P: 19, +/-: 7, PIMS: 0, H: 3
S45 (WPG): GP: 4, G: 1, A: 2, P: 3, +/-: -1, PIMS: 0, H: 2
CAREER: GP: 121, G: 46, A: 69, P: 115, +/-: 41, PIMS: 50, H: 209
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Statistics:
S30 (DET): GP: 50, G: 16, A: 12, P: 28, +/-: 8, PIMS: 10, H: 44
S31 (DET): GP: 50, G: 15, A: 23, P: 38, +/-: -2, PIMS: 35, H: 84
CAREER: GP: 100, G: 31, A: 35, P: 66, +/-: 6, PIMS: 45, H: 128
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Statistics:
S30 (DET): GP: 5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, PIMS: 2, H: 0
S31 (DET): GP: 13, G: 5, A: 7, P: 12, +/-: 3, PIMS: 0, H: 9
CAREER: GP: 18, G: 5, A: 8, P: 13, +/-: 2, PIMS: 2, H: 9
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Statistics (Russia):
S30: GP: 11, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -1, PIMS: 0, H: 7
S32: GP: 13, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: -4, PIMS: 4, H: 17
S33: GP: 11, G: 3, A: 6, P: 9, +/-: 5, PIMS: 4, H: 12
S34: GP: 11, G: 6, A: 2, P: 8, +/-: 2, PIMS: 2, H: 10
S35: GP: 13, G: 5, A: 4, P: 9, +/-: 4, PIMS: 18, H: 22
S36: GP: 11, G: 4, A: 3, P: 7, +/-: -3, PIMS: 2, H: 5
S37: GP: 10, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: 0, PIMS: 0, H: 8
S38: GP: 13, G: 3, A: 10, P: 13, +/-: 8, PIMS: 4, H: 5
S39: GP: 10, G: 6, A: 6, P: 12, +/-: 1, PIMS: 2, H: 11
S40: GP: 10, G: 1, A: 2, P: 3, +/-: -6, PIMS: 2, H: 8
S41: GP: 11, G: 4, A: 5, P: 9, +/-: 0, PIMS: 2, H: 7
S42: GP: 10, G: 5, A: 9, P: 14, +/-: 5, PIMS: 0, H: 1
S43: GP: 13, G: 4, A: 7, P: 11, +/-: 6, PIMS: 0, H: 0
S44: GP: 10, G: 4, A: 8, P: 12, +/-: 1, PIMS: 0, H: 0
S45: GP: 10, G: 6, A: 1, P: 7, +/-: -13, PIMS: 0, H: 2
CAREER: GP: 167 G: 54, A: 65, P: 119, +/-: 5, PIMS: 40, H: 105
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions and Awards:
Drafted 25th overall by Detroit, S30 SMJHL Entry Draft
S30 Vyacheslav Onoprienko Trophy Winner
Drafted 5th overall by Winnipeg, S31 SHL Entry Draft
S32 Oriens Trophy Winner (Co-GM, Detroit)
S32 IIHF Bronze Medalist
S36 SHL Second-Team All-Star
S37 Challenge Cup Champion
S38 Sergei Karpotsov Trophy Winner
S38 SHL First-Team All-Star
S38 Sarmad Khan Trophy Winner
S38 Jeff Dar Trophy Winner
S38 Damian Littleton Trophy Winner
S38 IIHF Gold Medalist
S43 IIHF Silver Medalist
S44 Challenge Cup Champion
Inducted into SHL Hall of Fame, S47
------------------------------------------------------------
Two things are infinite.

Nikolai Evans || Defenseman || HAM/TBB/TEX
Name: Nikolai Evans
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 210 lbs
Number: 19
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Career Statistics:
S47 (HAM): GP: 50, G: 1, A: 10, P: 11, +/-: -4, SB: 39, H: 32
S48 (HAM): GP: 50, G: 5, A: 9, P: 14, +/1: 6, SB: 57, H: 37
S49 (TBB): GP: 50, G: 9, A: 14, P: 23, +/-: -22, SB: 78, H: 51
S50 (TBB): GP: 50, G: 7, A: 20, P: 27, +/-: 4, SB: 64, H: 39
CAREER: GP: 200, G: 22, A: 53, P: 75, +/-: -16, SB: 238, H: 159
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Statistics:
S48 (HAM): GP: 5, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -1, SB: 6, H: 3
S49 (TBB): GP: 12, G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: 0, SB: 20, H: 8
S50 (TBB): GP: 19, G: 5, A: 7, P: 12, +/-: 1, SB: 29, H: 6
CAREER: GP: 36, G: 6, A: 12, P: 18, +/-: 0, SB: 55, H: 17
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Statistics:
S45 (MTL): GP: 50, G: 7, A: 13, P: 20, +/-: -1, SB: 60, H: 25
S46 (MTL/HFX): GP: 50, G: 7, A: 20, P: 27, +/-: -1, SB: 47, H: 68
CAREER: GP: 100, G: 14, A: 33, P: 47, +/-: -2, SB: 107, H: 93
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Statistics:
S45 (MTL): GP: 6, G: 2, A: 3, P: 5, +/-: -1, SB: 7, H: 4
S46 (HFX): GP: 13, G: 3, A: 2, P: 5, +/-: -4, SB: 18, H: 14
CAREER: GP: 19, G: 5, A: 5, P: 10, +/-: -5, SB: 25, H: 18
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Statistics (Russia):
S45: GP: 10, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -5, SB: 12, H: 2
S46: GP: 12, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -2, SB: 11, H: 2
S47: GP: 12, G: 2, A: 7, P: 9, +/-: 2, SB: 17, H: 12
S48: GP: 12, G: 2, A: 4, P: 6, +/-: -6, SB: 22, H: 0
S49: GP: 15, G: 6, A: 6, P: 12, +/-: -6, SB: 25, H: 7
CAREER: GP: 61, G: 10, A: 19, P: 29, +/-: -17, SB: 87, H: 23
------------------------------------------------------------
WJC Statistics:
S44 (World): GP: 15, G: 6, A: 7, P: 13, +/-: 8, SB: 18, H: 13
S45 (Russia): GP: 22, G: 2, A: 10, P: 12, +/-: -13, SB: 33, H: 14
S46 (Russia): GP: 28, G: 9, A: 15, P: 23, +/-: 0, SB: 26, H: 14
CAREER: GP: 55, G: 17, A: 32, P: 48, +/-: -5, SB: 77, H: 41
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions and Awards:
Drafted 1st overall by Montreal, S45 SMJHL Entry Draft
Drafted 1st overall by Hamilton, S46 SHL Entry Draft
Traded to Halifax Raiders during S46 SMJHL season
Traded to Tampa Bay Barracuda prior to S49 SHL season
S48 Fantasy Global Champion
S50 Mathias Chouinard Trophy Winner
I'll finish updating this at some point
------------------------------------------------------------
The Russian Prince

Zdenko Beranek || Winger || Quebec City Citadelles
Name: Zdenko Beranek
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 175 lbs
Number: 27
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Statistics:
S55 (QCC): GP: 50, G: 6, A: 15, P: 21, +/-: -22, PIMS: 6
S56 (QCC): GP: 50, G: 10, A: 27, P: 37, +/-: 9, PIMS: 20
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions and Awards:
Drafted 1st overall by Quebec City, S55 SMJHL Entry Draft
Drafted 18th overall by Seattle, S56 SHL Entry Draft
------------------------------------------------------------
Le Petite Chèvre

Subscribed

Lord Raiden                Rocky Gislason

C- Rocky Gislason         |          TPE: 221     |           S80 Prospect
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 215 
Number: 34
Birthplace: Dover, USA

C- Lord Raiden              |          TPE: 2044      |              BAP / TOR / EDM 

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 210

Number: 19

Birthplace: Washington DC, USA

SMJHL S54 Pick 54, 6th round - Colorado Raptors

SHL S55 Pick 20, 2nd round - Baltimore Platoon

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Career Statistics:

SHL Regular Season: 

S57 BAP| 66 GP | 12  G |  9  A | 21 P | -42 |  16 PIM |  1 PPP | FO%- 52.8% 

S58 BAP| 66 GP | 11  G | 11 A |  22 P | -36 |  44 PIM |  2 PPP | FO%- 63.0%

S59 BAP| 66 GP |  9  G  | 21 A | 30 P | -38 | 14 PIM | 1 PPP | 100 Hits

S60 BAP| 66 GP | 15  G | 28 A | 43 P | +13 | 20 PIM | 5 PPP | 106 Hits

S61 BAP| 66 GP | 21 G  | 40 A | 61 P | +26 | 10 PIM | 3 PPP | 140 Hits

S62 BAP| 66 GP | 20 G  | 31 A | 51 P | +47 | 20 PIM | 0 PPP | 109 Hits
S63 BAP| 66 GP | 24 G  | 45 A | 69 P | +54 | 12 PIM | 2 PPP | 104 Hits
S64 BAP| 66 GP | 26 G  | 45 A | 71 P | +23 | 6 PIM | 20 PPP | 98 Hits
S65 BAP| 66 GP | 27 G  | 45 A | 72 P | +20 | 24 PIM | 19 PPP | 117 Hits
S66 BAP| 66 GP | 21 G  | 24 A | 45 P | -39 | 38 PIM | 7 PPP | 64 Hits
S67 BAP| 66 GP | 30 G  | 52 A | 82 P | -47 | 46 PIM | 40 PPP | 89 Hits
S68 BAP| 66 GP | 33 G  | 35 A | 68 P | -38 | 36 PIM | 24 PPP | 112 Hits
S69 BAP| 66 GP | 26 G  | 44 A | 70 P | -34 | 51 PIM | 28 PPP | 95 Hits
S70 BAP| 66 GP | 29 G  | 49 A | 78 P | -21 | 32 PIM | 32 PPP | 99 Hits
S71 BAP| 66 GP | 25 G  | 43 A | 68 P | -8 | 28 PIM | 12 PPP | 126 Hits
S72 BAP| 66 GP | 16 G  | 26 A | 42 P | -9 | 40 PIM | 1 PPP | 98 Hits

S73 BAP| 66 GP | 19 G  | 34 A | 53 P | +0 | 25 PIM | 10 PPP | 103 Hits
S74 TOR| 66 GP | 16 G  | 38 A | 54 P | -16 | 16 PIM | 2 PPP | 129 Hits

S75 TOR| 66 GP | 11 G  | 25 A | 36 P | -23 | 17 PIM | 0 PPP | 105 Hits

S76 EDM| 66 GP | 10 G  | 33 A | 43 P | -30 | 30 PIM | 4 PPP | 127 Hits
S77 EDM| 66 GP | 7 G  | 24 A | 31 P | -60 | 22 PIM | 1 PPP | 113 Hits
S78 EDM| 66 GP | 3 G  | 19 A | 22 P | -27 | 18 PIM | 2 PPP | 43 Hits
CAREER | 1455 GP | 411 G  | 721 A | 1132 P | -285 | 565 PIM | 216 PPP | 2167 Hits

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Regular Season:

S54 COL| 50 GP |  9  G |  1  A | 10 P | -3 |  2 PIM |  2 PPP | FO%- 60.3%

S55 COL| 50 GP | 14 G | 25 A | 39 P | +10 | 18 PIM | 11 PPP | FO%- 57.0 %

S56 COL| 50 GP | 20 G | 23 A | 43 P | -5 | 56 PIM | 16 PPP | FO%- 58.2 %

 

WJC Stats:

S54 USA | 12 GP | 1 G | 4 A | 5 P | -12 | 4 PPP | 29 SOG | 26 Hits 

S55 USA | 12 GP | 2 G | 6 A | 8 P | -2 | 1 PPP | 23 SOG | 17 Hits 

S56 USA | 12 GP | 6 G | 9 A | 15 P | +6 | 6 PPP | 30 SOG | 15 Hits 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Career Accomplishments  

S54 WJC Gold Medal - USA

S56 WJC Silver Medal - USA

S56 SMJHL Western Conference All-Star Team  

S56 2nd Team All-SMJHL

Awards: 

S54 COL - The Alexander Zajac Trophy  

S56 COL - The Bo Kane Trophy 

S56 COL - The Zinaida Titova Trophy
S69 BAP - Jeff Dar Trophy Nominee 
S70 BAP - Jeff Dar Trophy Nominee

Jumbo                      |             GM                 |              Colorado Raptors

S56 - S59 | Colorado CO-GM  

S60 - S67| Colorado GM :  321 W - 172 L - 35 OTL 

 

    

Thanks to @DELIRIVM @sköldpaddor @Merica for the Sigs

I had gifts of the NFL team Carolina Panthers season tickets,

Worse than the $2m fine honestly

You know I thought the same thing!

Drafted 2nd round 21st Pick by the Winnipeg Jets in S55 SHL Entry Draft 

GM of the UCORCAL in the WJC S55

S55 WJC Gold Medalist GM/Player for UCORCAL

Management Role for Russia in the IIHF

Management Role / Head Coach for Winnipeg Aurora in SHL 

Co-GM St. Louis Scarecrows S57-S60

GM of the St. Louis Scarecrows S61-S72

S72 Challenge Cup Champion - GM

Co-GM Toronto North Stars S81