Interviewer: Langston Hardison-Laurent, @Jexter
Interviewee: Will Tomlander, @roastpuff

Hello, I am Langston Hardison-Laurent and welcome to the first installment of the extremely large round table discussion of the S74 SHL Draft Class. We will be asking some questions that are totally up to the interviewer as we bounce around. The interviewer will be whoever was interviewed last and we will ask 2-4 questions. We will keep things in groups of 4 so after us we will go to the . We begin with myself interviewing Will Tomlander.

Langston Hardison-Laurent: Will played on the Detroit Falcons last season and was selected in the first round by the Seattle Argonauts. So Will, you ended up being drafted 3rd overall and was the first regeneration picked. Do you think you would have been picked higher if you didn’t support such a cursed franchise as the Canucks and how do you feel having to play for Vancouver’s geographical rivals?

Will Tomlander: Funny you should say that because I think that supporting the Canucks would have moved my draft stock up in the eyes of Calgary’s GM, boom, and that would have made me a surefire pick at 1st overall. However, it all works out that I was picked by Seattle because it seems that the entire locker room are Canucks supporters. Net win for me, and I don’t mind playing for what is Vancouver’s geographical rivals in the SHL because the Argonauts being a new team means that I can help set franchise records! 

LHL: I guess it all worked out in the end then. Who do you think is the worst influence on your game and why will it be a bad thing?

Will Tomlander: It’s got to be Ty Murphy from the Texas Renegades. He introduced me to drinking brine while on the bench and now I can’t get enough. I have to skate back between every shift and gulp down some pickle juice in order to function. It’s like the juice has taken over my circulatory system or something - if I get high sticked I don’t bleed red, I bleed brine now. It’s weird but it works so I guess that’s something.

LHL: Brine on the Bench? No thank you. If you had to get rid of one of your current teammates to win the Four Stars Cup next year who would it be?

Will Tomlander: That’s a tough one, I think I may have to pick Zedward Zilliams as the teammate to drop if the Detroit Falcons want to win the Four Star Cup. Every shift he has to fix his moustache - like it’s glued on or something - and he keeps shedding all over the locker room. I found hairs in my hockey socks the other day, I’m not even sure how it gets there! And not to mention I never see him and my GM in the same room, it’s so bizarre! Not sure what is really going on there but his antics are definitely distracting the team. So he has to go, and soon! 

LHL: Certainly seems like a handful. Last question: what’s your favorite movie?

Will Tomlander: Top Gun, and Top Gun: Maverick. There’s just so many cool scenes of male bonding and camaraderie. Plus inverted communications and plane underbellies, I don’t know how to describe it. Must be something about the wings featured in the movie, as a Falcon it really hits home, you know?

LHL: Nice. Both are great movies, especially Maverick. My dad would be thrilled by that answer. Thank you for your answers Will. Please go ahead and ask the next person some questions

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Interviewer: Will Tomlander, @roastpuff
Interviewee: Squidwardo Tentacles, @TheOPSquid

Hi, my name is Will Tomlander, and welcome to the extremely large round table discussion of the S74 SHL Draft Class. We will be asking some questions that are totally up to the interviewer as we bounce around. The interviewer will be whoever was interviewed last and we will ask 2-4 questions. After being interviewed by Langston Hardison-Laurent, now it is my turn to ask the questions to another member of the class!

Will Tomlander: Being a squid, do you think that the Seattle Kraken made the correct choice in drafting you on their team? Tell us how this fit is either good, or bad. Are squids close relatives to kraken? Are they in a different family? Or are you as close as siblings? 

Squidwardo Tentacles: I think Seattle made the right choice, some people joke that I have multiple arms due to my stick always breaking up plays or making some fancy dekes out on the ice. I think it will be a good fit especially with guys like Will Tomlander or Shadow Fenix able to carry me on the ice if I'm not performing well. Yeah I have some cousins that are Kraken but we rarely see them, sometimes they show up for family Christmas but most of the time they're off doing their own things. We always make jokes about them being a myth due to how little we see them. We used to be close during our younger years but when they hit their growth spurt they switched over to basketball and I went into hockey. One thing that was always drilled into me after picking up hockey is just how important it is to get pucks deep, pucks on net and play a full 60 minutes.

Will Tomlander: You mean literally carry you? I don’t know if that’s legal or not, but maybe we should try one of those plays during practice to see how it goes. Anyways. Do you have any secret habits that you would like to reveal to the fans? Something that you do in the locker room or the bench before the start of the game as a good luck charm or ritual, perhaps?

Squidwardo Tentacles: A ritual that I established in my rookie season is my team has to have the song "Ocean Man by Ween'' on the pregame playlist, it gets me hyped up and allows me to get stuff done during game time. A habit I do on the bench is hitting the smelling salts before the opening draw, getting the boys pumped up and getting that oxygen flowing through you and starting to get the breath going. This just allows me to get pucks deep, pucks on net, and to play a full 60 minutes.

Will Tomlander: I’m sensing a recurring theme here. If you had to choose between having pineapple on pizza your entire life, or never using butter again on toast, what would be your choice? Why would you choose that option?

Squidwardo Tentacles: Well Will this might be the easiest question I've ever had to answer, no doubt about it I would choose pineapple on pizza for the rest of my life. I already have attempted to try this as it is my favourite topping without a doubt, not just on pizza either, whether just the pineapple juice, slices of it on a burger, or even just the fruit by itself, I would say it is the best fruit. In a draft I would easily take Pineapple 1st overall, the sweetness, juiciness and sour tinge makes it the perfect topping for pizza or burgers. The energy that pineapple gives me in my pregame meal makes sure I have the energy to get pucks deep, get pucks on net, and play a full 60 minutes.

Will Tomlander: Wow, but then you’d have to give up butter on toast for the rest of your life! Tough decision for me! Thanks for hanging around with us and answering a few questions! Now, I’m going to pass the mic to you so that you can ask the next victim/member of our class a few questions of your own!

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Interviewer: Squidwardo Tentacles, @TheOPSquid
Interviewee: Marek Carda, @ibuprofenaddict

Good afternoon, Squidwardo Tentacles here to continue the large round table of the S74 SHL Draft class. This next interviewee was recently drafted 19th overall by the Philadelphia Forge after a successful rookie season with the Detroit Falcons where they were taken 30th in the last SMJHL draft. UCORCAL's Czechian Right Wing: Marek Carda.

Squidwardo Tentacles: Congratulations on being drafted in the SHL Draft!  After committing to a professional career in hockey, if you weren't a professional hockey player what career would you have chosen and why?

Marek Carda: Hey thanks, Squid. Most people know that my family is pretty big into the European craft beer scene, operating a small brewery back in Pilsen. I’m pleased that hockey is working out for me so far but it’s nice to know that I have a strong family business that I’ll inevitably be a part of when hockey is over, whether I run out of talent, age out, or get injured (knock on wood). I’d venture to guess that I’d be helping out my Mom on the business side right about now if it weren’t for hockey. I know that doesn’t sound like a career of my own choosing but I’m actually very close with my parents and want the business to succeed so I really do think helping out would be my choice. Well, that or like Astronaut maybe.

Squidwardo Tentacles: In a tight knit locker room like Detroit, who is the locker room DJ and who would you make sure never gets the aux?

Marek Carda: We actually share duties when it comes to music, which has been great because we all have different taste in tunes. I’ve learned quite a bit about music just in my first season here actually, between the locker room and the fact that we’re in Motown. The second part of your question is ludicrously easy to answer though: Simo. Simo was banned from the radio early on in training camp last season because his only genre is Norwegian death metal and his only volume is ‘whatever number is biggest.’ That makes team talks and such pretty difficult and the music itself is basically indecipherable. Just noise.

Squidwardo Tentacles: You are in an elimination game in the playoffs down by 1 goal in the final 5 minutes of the game, as you and you're linemate break in on a 2-on-0 do you take the shot or pass it to your teammate so they take the shot?

Marek Carda: I’d prefer not to shoot if I’m being honest, but it depends on a number of things. How close are the backcheckers? Who is the goalie? What are his strengths and weaknesses? How is he playing the 2-0, like what is his positioning telling me? Who is with me? Where is the third forward? Every situation is different. I wouldn’t say I shy away from the pressure of it being an elimination game or anything, but I think reading the game is one of my strengths, and I want to make the best decision and maximize our probability of success. I will definitely add that if it’s Zedward with me then I’m definitely shooting, there is nothing about the situation that can convince me we have a better chance of winning with him pulling the trigger. 

Squidwardo Tentacles: Did you expect to go to Philadelphia or was it a surprise when they picked you? Being their first pick in the draft do you feel that adds an extra amount of pressure on yourself?

Marek Carda: I had a good pre draft interview with the management team in Philly and I knew they had two picks that were right around where I was expected to go. I think I was ranked something like 16 or 17? I’d heard a rumor that I might go to New England and I saw a number of mocks that had me going to other places too. While the draft was happening I actually started to think I might end up in Winnipeg when they traded back into the first and grabbed Langston. When Philly came up on the board and they grabbed me it was really just relief. I’d set a personal goal to scrape my way into the first round and I was able to do just that. Philadelphia has also obviously had a lot of recent success so I’m excited to absorb what I can from their winning culture and hopefully be ready to come into the team in a couple years and keep their run going. In terms of pressure I don’t really feel too much. I think I went right about where I was projected to go, and obviously they had the very next pick as well, selecting Leonard Wood - so we were basically interchangeable. Then we also got some other solid picks like Cob and Gewmba. I think it’ll be a successful draft by committee.

Thanks for taking the time to answer some questions, you'll be taking my spot as the interviewer and starting to interview the next person. 
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Interviewer: Marek Carda, @ibuprofenaddict
Interviewee: Langston Hardison-Laurent, @Jexter

Hey everyone it’s my turn to ask the questions in the first of the S74 draft class round table. Being that the table is round, we’ll end where we started, and I have the opportunity to talk to large Floridian winger, Langston Hardison-Laurent. Currently plying his trade with the Yukon Malamutes, the Winnipeg Aurora recently traded back into a strong first round at the SHL draft to select Langston at 17th overall!

Marek Carda: You put up 40 points for the Malamutes last season, your first in the SMJHL. What are some things you decided to work on over the summer to improve your own output and help the team take the next step? Are you willing to give up wearing Hawaiian shirts under your equipment?

Langston Hardison-Laurent: Yeah, I am hoping to really up my offensive production this season, especially now working on the top lines. As for training, I decided to take up golf which I think has really helped me get small round things in tight spaces and should help my overall goal scoring. I only got 16 last season, and I’m hoping to at least somewhat fill the void left by Theodore Svatos, but giving up the Hawaiian shirts is a step too far. It’s how I play the most comfortably and it reminds me of home, which is nice considering that I will be playing in Yukon and Winnipeg, two of the furthest places I could be drafted to be from Florida.

Marek Carda: How does it feel to have Winnipeg move up in the draft to grab you? Are you ready for the big show? What’s one thing you’d like to tell fans of the Aurora about your game?
On a related note, how do you find the surfing scene in the Yukon and do you think it will be much better in Winnipeg? Quite a geographical flip for a Florida boy isn’t it?

Langston Hardison-Laurent: It feels great to be drafted to Winnipeg, especially with what they spent to regain their 1st round pick from Seattle. I’m certainly not ready for the show yet and I’ve had a lot of good conversations with the management of Winnipeg. They have been super supportive and honest that I’ll be developing in the J’s for a few seasons and I’m honestly fine with that. The most I can do is get as ready as possible for when I am called up by Winnipeg. I would say to fans of the Aurora that my game will be one where I give it my all at both ends of the ice. I love scoring goals, but I get just as much of a kick out of helping my teammates on defense and protecting the goalie. I hope to really shore up that side of my game in juniors. For Aurora fans, I'll so my best to make sure you always feel like I made an impact on the ice, regardless of whether I'm on the score sheet or not and I will see you soon.
Surfing has been tough in Yukon, but I think Winnipeg might give me more of an opportunity to travel to more coastal locations in the Show. Most of the places we go to in J's are more inland with a few exceptions, but SHL has teams like Tampa Bay, San Fransisco, Los Angeles just to name a few. It will be nice to not have to bring an ice pick to the beach. And yeah, I’m starting to adjust to the weather and all, just weird seeing snow and ice outside the rink and I had to buy a winter coat for the first time, but there is no way I'm covering up this mane of hair with a wool hat. That being said, I will certainly have to continue to adjust as I go on in my hockey career.

Marek Carda: I know that a lot of the Florida Gators success was when you were a wee lad - both in football and basketball. I want to know though, in your qualified opinion as a local, who was the best Gator athlete? If this yields a different answer, Who is the most important Gator athlete of all time? 

Langston Hardison-Laurent: There will be two different answers. The best Gator athlete of all time is American Hero who always speaks the truth Ryan Lochte. Ryan is a national treasure who the world was not ready to accept. He won multiple Olympic medals and should have won more if not for the distractions of the media. And the most important Gator athlete of all time is Cris Collinsworth, former NFL wide receiver, current broadcaster and perfect executor of the Collinsworth slide every Sunday night during the football season. His voice has been matched with hundreds of iconic plays and he starred in a few of them as wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals. Cris Collinsworth has been just an absolute staple of not just American sports, but American culture at this point, since his colloquialisms and even manner of dress are so well known. I really wish that he got to do more with Al Michaels, but oh well. Quick honorable mention to former Gator dancer Erin Andrews who also does incredible work on the sidelines as a reporter in the NFL. The work she has done has been really cool to see and I think she has done a lot to advance the prestige of her profession, which for a long time had a bad wrap or was met with condescension.

Marek Carda: I’ll wrap up with a doozy. There were concerns about you prior to the SMJHL draft surrounding your lack of knowledge of Pokémon and how that might jeopardize your chances at being accepted into the locker room. I was wondering if you had learned any more about Pokémon since last offseason. If you have, tell which Pokémon is #564 and also which Pokémon has the strangest name and why? 

Langston Harrison-Laurent: I have no idea what you are talking about. I barely know any of the original however many there are. I think the strangest name might be Vulpex since it feels so lazy. Like do they actually not expect me to know Latin and that the fox-like Pokemon will be named after the Latin root. Honorable mention to the ones that are just snake names backwards. That was also mildly lazy.

Marek Carda: That wraps up my questions for today. Good luck to Langston and the Malamutes this season except when facing Detroit! Thanks to everyone for reading my interview here and for taking the time to go through this SHL S74 draft roundtable with Langston, Will, Squidwardo, and I. The class is looking to put out more content like this so if you like what you just read let us know in the comments!

END OF PART 1


WC: 4011
Contributors @Jexter, @roastpuff, @TheOPSquid, @ibuprofenaddict