Quote:Originally posted by rowser@Jul 22 2017, 11:05 PM
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this but unironically

task 1
The Playoff's Top 5 Daddies!!

#5 Allen - Sim Daddy!!! Onyx is his son. he simmed all the games, and this is something that is very important.

#4 Vrat Slatziskvren - Hard to Spell daddy!!! he took a lot of shots! my daddy likes to take shots too! not that kind, but probably Vrat likes to take that kind too )))

#3 Colton Hagan - Penalty Box daddy!!!! this daddy had to sit in time out a bit >:( but he was just protecting his friends from the bad people!!! what a good daddy.

#2 Carrick Murray - Goalie daddy!! this daddy keeps the pucks out of his team's net ) because of him, his team is lifting up a four star cup. i wonder what they will drink out of it?

#1 Nour Harrak - Hat Trick daddy!!! he supplies three of everything! that is a very good thing this daddy has a nice beard too!!! i hear he's part of kebab line, that must be really cool!

god is dead and i just killed him.

task 2

interviewer: mr. wyder?

dw: huh?

interviewer: dwayne, i wanted to ask you about the raiders season.

dw: why?

interviewer: because i'm a sports reporter.

dw: well it's over. it has been for a while.

interviewer: i'm well aware... like i said, i'm a sports reporter.

dw: then why are you asking me?

interviewer: how do you think it went?

dw: ... i think we were the best team in team league.

interviewer: can you take this seriously at all?

dw: have you heard my interviews before?

interviewer: for fucks sake. just tell me how it went. tell me how you think it could be improved. listen to me, talk like one of the good ontario boys.

dw: fine, fine. Let's get pucks deep next season, we didn't get them deep enough this season, and it really cost us. We need to make sure we give really proper interviews to let people like us.

interviewer: wow. you're.. a character.

dw: listen. we know it didn't go well. and i know that you guys thought we were't going to do well. we're young. we're much younger than a lot of teams, even the falcons, who beat us in the 1st, are older than us. now you've got us penciled in for next season as the inevitable victors. you know man, go --

interviewer: alright i get it i get it. we should've taken your more seriously this season. you guys got a lot better by the end. that's why we like you for next season. like, come on man, we can see what's going on. we're not done. whatever man. someone needs to teach you manners. this interview is over. get out of here.

dw: you're in my space, you get out of here.

task 3



task 4

give the mvp to carrick murray. the netminder backstopped the vancouver whalers to a title. while his save percentage, .898, he had the lowest gaa in the playoffs, at two point three seven. carrick's teammates certainly had a large effect on their playoff run, such as odjick's scoring prowess, but without carrick behind, there is no way that the whalers hoist the four star cup. you could see the effect his play had on his teammates and his fans, in their "I Stand With Murray" campaign. While there is a case to be made for other players, all in all, the award should be given to murray. had he been on another team, he likely would've pushed them over the edge to being the final winners. should murray be called up soon, the whalers will certainly miss his presence. until that happens, the whalers should still be seen as a major playoff contender, for seasons to come.

task 5