Karl stiffles a laugh and deletes the email. He has a family for sure, but it consists of his mother, father and himself. They are a close enough bunch, with his parents coming oversees for a few months every year to spend time and watch games, but past them that is it. No brothers or sisters, no cousins. No aunts or uncles. Clearly this email is some kind of horrific spam designed to take control of Karl's wealth that he has accumulated and burried in steel boxes behind his secret marsh front property in the Florida everglades.

Now if a family reunion were to occur, in typical stoic German custom Karl would greet his parents at the airport with a stern handshake. They would then spend the evening enjoying some fine Riesling, Black Forest Cake and discussing in astounding detail the new efficiencies in the latest BMW models.

After a few hours and a few bottles, Karl would then descend the stairs to his specially built sensory deprivation sleep chamber where he would have a blissful 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and wake up refreshed, ready to do it all over again tomorrow.