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Tesla · 09-01-2022, 12:24 PM

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1. CW TRIVIA, 3 TPE max - 1.5 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer. This is completed through a Google form linked below. Make sure to spell your answers correctly or you will not get credit. Post your verification word in your CW post.

Hitchhike

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4. Written, 3 TPE, League vs. League (150 words min.)

Could any SMJHL team in history (if they were NOT capped at their usual 350/425 builds) have beaten any SHL team in history a 7 game series? Why or why not? What historical teams do you think are good candidates for this trial? Who do you think is the best team in SMJHL history and the worst team in SHL history? Would the J team have a chance? Make your case!

The short answer is yes, but I do believe that is not long enough to really sell you on how absolutely the answer is yes so allow me to elaborate. If you take a time machine way back in the day all the way to S1 you will find that even the absolute most stacked of teams had all still earned less TPE than a good SMJHL team of today. It was just a matter of the way the league started out back in the days of dinosaurs. Now additionally TPE is not the be all end all of whether a team would win or not, but it is indeed meaningful at the end of the day. Honestly though the big reason I give it to a modern J team over an ancient big league team is the simple fact that to sim it today would require it be on the J team's turf and that gives them a colossal advantage in comparison in regards to coaching.

If I were to pick a specific candidate give me the S63 Nevada Battleborn as I know they had several capped players that season who had earned well above said cap. Honestly I would struggle to find another team that I could guarantee that fact for, but honestly any team whose first line is closer to 1k than starting TPE is apt to be able to win against an S1 team from what I was able to find.

Meanwhile I do not trust my ability to scan the index enough to be able to judge best J team and best major league team. Thank you for your understanding!

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Word Count: 275

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5. Written, 3 TPE, Secret Weapon (150 words min)

It’s never too early to start thinking about how you’re going to gain a competitive edge next season! How is your team going to go the extra mile to get wins next season? Is it a secret training regimen? Sneaky equipment modifications? Booby trapping the visiting teams’ locker room? Anything goes.

Agent Tesla: Okay so my proposed plan of action ahead of this season is to steal a book from a famous piece of fiction by turning all of the opposing players into llamas ala what happened to Kuzco in the film Emperor's New Groove. Now you may be asking 'Tesla how are we going to gain enough magic potion to poison every other roster in the SHL' or 'Tesla what the hell are you talking about' maybe even 'Tesla this was supposed to be an intervention for your outlandish plans' none of that matters though!

Dave Heinrich: I think that last one-

Agent Tesla: I have a supplier of potions who has promised that they could fill the entirety of Lake Superior with sufficient magic potion should we so desire, and so replacing all sports drinks in the visiting locker room should be plenty enough to do what we want to do. Also courtesy of my own skills in the alchemical arts I can set it up so that there is a delay on effect so they are all more likely to drink it. What do you think?

Dave Heinrich: I think this intervention is going nowhere and so I'm going to cut the cake.

Agent Tesla: Excellent! I do so love a good cake! While we're eating it I can go over my plans for redesigning our training regimens by taking cues from the Rocky movies and the Dragon Ball series. I think running up stairs with a massively heavy turtle shell on your backs will prove to be the best form of training going forward.

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Word Count: 267

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6. Written, 3 TPE, Curse (150 words min.)

We’ve heard of the “President’s Trophy Curse” in which the top team of the regular season has a very hard time closing the deal in the playoffs and often ends up losing. If you could invent a curse and attach it to any other league event– what would it be and why? No Challenge Cup winner shall ever repeat? Anyone who wins the goal scoring title is doomed to 4% shooting next season? Get creative and give your curse a fun name!

Agent Tesla: This is a tough one for me as there are so many curses that I am quite fond of as a person that there are almost too many options for me, but the goal here is to get creative and have fun so I will take that prompt with glee. The curse in question shall be the 'Curse of the Drama Llama' and will be such that a player's performance will be divided equally among their actual team and all of the drama teams that they rightfully find themselves added to over the course of their career. Should you show up in one drama thread looking for entertainment and get caught that means your performance is forever half of what it could have been, but make it to three and you will find yourself performing to just a quarter of your potential. Would like to clarify that this will only apply to the people who are there for the car crash element of it rather than the people who are there as the equivalent of EMT's aiming to help with the situation. They have a right to be involved and not suffer for it after all.

Dave Heinrich: I was thinking more that a team can never beat Chicago back to back and have it be the 'Curse of the Broken Kneecaps' cause you know Syndicate.

Agent Tesla: Ooh! That sounds like far more fun to me. We are going to go with that answer instead!

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Word Count: 248

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7. Milestones, up to 3 TPE

Milestones are folded in with CW. So just link your Milestone claim as task 7 for up to 3 TPE towards your 16 total.

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Post your claim in the milestones thread for tpe earned per stat, and then link that post in your CW submission. This is done because the person who grades CW will be a different person than double-checks milestones.

Milestones Post 3 TPE

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23. Written, 2 TPE, Dreams (100 words min.)

Sticking with the “last prompt is just letting people write about themselves” idea, here we go! I’m curious to know what sort of things you hope for in the world! What are your dreams? Maybe that’s a dream job, a dream house, an opportunity for your kids. I don’t know! Whatever you want to write about. What do you hope for in the future?

Well my last dream was that Carrie got adopted by a loving gay couple whose response to her powers awakening with her period were 'first periods must just be like that' and they continued to love and care for her. What's that? Oh! You meant dreams as in meaning four from Merriam Webster. That is a far different question for me.

Honestly my dream is just to have the spoons to really write again. This year has been horrifically rough in that regard as I have managed far less work than I have in years past courtesy of a couple things within my power, and a whole host of things outside of my power. Then summer hit and it all got a whole lot worse in my neck of the woods as I do terribly in heat. Would love to get back to averaging hundreds of words a day and that is my dream for next year. Just want to get back on the horse in terms of word production, although I would also like to have more spoons in general for other stuff if I have enough to throw at writing I will be happy I feel.

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Word Count: 198

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