wow I’m not surprised

Sebastien Regazzoni || C || Hamilton Steelhawks || 1276 TPE
Birthplace: Bern, Switzerland
Height/Weight: 6'3", 200 lbs
SHL Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 17 A: 25 PTS: 42 PIMS: 32 +/-: -23 H: 75
S72 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 28 A: 31 PTS: 59 PIMS: 55 +/-: 7 H: 89
S73 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 24 A: 33 PTS: 57 PIMS: 34 +/-: -2 H: 81
S74 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 37 PTS: 49 PIMS: 43 +/-: -8 H: 83
S75 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 11 A: 51 PTS: 62 PIMS: 39 +/-: 22 H: 66 
S76 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 33 A: 60 PTS: 93 PIMS: 37 +/-: -18 H: 87
SHL Playoff Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 2 A: 1 PTS: 3 +/-: -5 PIM: 2 H: 5
S72 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 0 +/-: -5 PIM: 0 H: 7
S73 || HAM || GP: 12 G: 4 A: 7 PTS: 11 +/-: 2 PIM: 10 H: 10
S74 || HAM || GP: 7 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5 +/-: -3 PIM: 0 H: 14
S75 || HAM || GP: 14 G: 3 A: 10 PTS: 13 +/-: -0 PIM: 2 H: 17
SMJHL Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 25 A: 21 PTS: 46 +/-: -5 PIM: 6 H: 107
S68 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 41 PTS: 61 +/-: 5 PIM: 30 H: 138
S69 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 33 PTS: 53 +/-: -3 PIM: 18 H: 142
S70 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 23 PTS: 35 +/-: -54 PIM: 28 H: 78
Career SMJHL Regular Season Stats
GP: 264 G: 77 A: 118 PTS: 195 +/-: -57 PIM: 82 H: 465
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 5 G: 4 A: 1 PTS: 5 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 11
S68 || ANC || GP: 10 G: 4 A: 3 PTS: 7 +/-: 7 PIM: 4 H: 24
Career Milestones
Drafted 20th overall by Anchorage, S67 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 4th overall by Hamilton, S68 SHL Draft
Voted Anchorage Armada captain, S69



Mitchell van der Heijden || C || Philadelphia Forge || 925 TPE
Birthplace: Alkmaar, Netherlands
Height/Weight: 6'2", 205 lbs
SHL Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 50 G: 8 A: 10 PTS: 18 PIMS: 16 +/-: 0 H: 24
S55 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 19 PTS: 34 PIMS: 14 +/-: 2 H: 70
S56 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 16 A: 11 PTS: 27 PIMS: 26 +/-: -17 H: 65
S57 | NEW | GP: 66 G: 20 A: 28 PTS: 48 PIMS: 10 +/-: -37 H: 62
S58 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 22 A: 38 PTS: 60 PIMS: 22 +/-: 25 H: 92
S59 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 21 A: 37 PTS: 58 PIMS: 29 +/-: 37 H: 101
S60 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 49 A: 50 P: 99 PIMS: 6 +/-: 14 H: 97
S61 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 57 PTS: 87 PIMS: 10 +/-: 49 H: 122
S62 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 48 A: 38 PTS: 86 PIMS: 8 +/-: 32 H: 105
S63 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 51 PTS: 81 PIMS: 18 +/-: 47 H: 103
S64 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 43 PTS: 73 PIMS: 8 +/-: 9 H: 103
S65 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 13 A: 37 PTS: 50 PIMS: 20 +/-: 25 H: 134
S66 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 15 A: 24 PTS: 39 PIMS: 30 +/-: -19 H: 116
S67 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 8 A: 27 PTS: 35 PIMS: 20 +/-: 4 H: 140
Career Regular Season Stats
GP: 876 G: 325 A: 470 PTS: 795 PIMS: 237 +/-: 172 H: 1338
SHL Playoff Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 5 PTS: 12 PIMS: 4 +/-: 1
S56 | NEW | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 4 +/-: -4
S57 | NEW | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: 0
S58 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 3 A: 7 PTS: 10 PIMS: 2 +/-: 2
S59 | HAM | GP: 11 G: 2 A: 5 PTS: 7 PIMS: 0 +/-: 4
S60 | HAM | GP: 10 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5
S61 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 9 A: 16 PTS: 25
S62 | HAM | GP: 14 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19
S63 | HAM | GP: 25 G: 10 A: 12 PTS: 22
S64 | HAM | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 17 PTS: 24
S65 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 4 A: 5 PTS: 9
S66 | PHI | G: 7 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3
S67 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 4 PTS: 4
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 172 G: 55 A: 93 PTS: 148
SMJHL Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 14 PTS: 28 PIMS: 6 +/-: -1 H: 21
S51 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 27 PTS: 47 PIMS: 17 -/+: 11 H: 15
S52 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 28 PTS: 53 PIMS: 29 +/-: 7 H: 62
S53 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 26 A: 26 PTS: 52 PIMS: 24 +/-: 12 H: 109
Total SMJHL Reg. Season Stats
GP: 200 G: 85 A: 95 PTS: 180 PIMS: 79 +/-: 29 H: 207
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 11 G: 1 A: 4 PTS: 5 PIMS: 0 +/-: -6
S51 | ANC | GP: 12 G: 5 A: 7 PTS: 12 PIMS: 2 +/-: 7
S52 | ANC | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S53 | ANC | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
Total SMJHL Playoff Stats
GP: 41 G: 8 A: 16 PTS: 24 PIMS: 2 +/-: 1
Accolades
Won S51 4 Star Cup with Anchorage
Won Silver Medal with Switzerland, S51 IIHF
named best forward, S51 WJC
named to second team all SMJHL, S52
named Anchorage alternate captain, S51/S52
named Anchorage captain, S53
named first team all SMJHL, S53
won Ideen Fallah Award (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP), S53
named SMJHL All-Star, S51-S53
won S54 Challenge Cup with New Orleans
scored Challenge Cup-winning goal, S54
named New England alternate captain, S55
#15 retired by the Anchorage Armada
Challenge Cup winner with Hamilton, S58/S61/S63
SHL All-Star, S60-S63
Karpovtsov and McDonald winner, S60
Sarmad Khan winner, S60
Ron Mexico winner, S60
First Team All-SHL, S60
Gold medal winner with Switzerland, S65
Member of the Triple Gold Club
SHL Hall of Famer
Draft Things
drafted 11th by Anchorage in S50 SMJHL Draft
drafted 13th overall by New Orleans in S51 SHL Draft



Joseph Lombardi || RW || Anchorage Armada co-GM || 969 TPE
Name: Joseph Lombardi
Position: Right Wing
Birthplace: Voorhees, NJ, USA (transferred to Ireland)
Height: very short (5'3")
Weight: 145 lbs
SHL Regular Season Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 13 A: 9 PTS: 22 PIMS: 6 +/-: -10
S39 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 12 A: 8 PTS: 20 PIMS: 8 +/-: -10
S40 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 15 PTS: 29 PIMS: 7 +/-: 9
S41 | MIN | GP: 50 G: 7 A: 6 PTS: 13 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S42 | MIN/SEA | GP: 47 G: 14 A: 20 PTS: 34 PIMS: 6 +/-: 4
S43 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 26 PTS: 46 PIMS: 8 +/-: 5
S44 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 18 A: 17 PTS: 35 PIMS: 18 +/-: -16
S45 | SEA/TOR | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 20 PTS: 40 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 23 PTS: 48 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S47 | EDM | GP: 50 G: 17 A: 23 PTS: 40 PIMS: 10 +/-: 26
S48 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 21 A: 17 PTS: 38 PIMS: 10 +/-: 5
S49 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 6 A: 20 PTS: 26 +/-: -8 PIMS: 13
S50 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 11 PTS: 26 PIMS: 10 +/-: 15
Career Stats
GP: 647 G: 202 A: 215 PTS: 417 PIMS: 96 +/-: 14
SHL Playoff Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 6 +/-: -3
S39-S40 | SFP | Missed playoffs
S41 | MIN | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S42 | SEA | missed playoffs
S43 | SEA | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 6 PTS: 6 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S44 | SEA | missed playoffs
S45 | TOR | GP: 5 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 7 G: 2 A: 7 PTS: 9 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
S47 | EDM | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S48 | SFP | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: -4
S49 | SFP | missed playoffs
S50 | SFP | GP: 4 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
Career Playoff Stats 
all you need to know is that I was shit
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S35 | STL |  GP: 50 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: -1
S36 | STL | GP: 50 G: 10 A: 7 PTS: 17 PIMS: 4 +/-: 0
S37 | STL | GP: 44 G: 16 A: 15 PTS: 31 PIMS: 8 +/-: -4
Total Stats: GP: 144 G: 27 A: 22 PTS: 49 PIMS: 14 +/-: -5
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 7 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 +/-: 1
S36 | STL | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 +/-: -1
S37 | STL | GP: 13 G: 4 A: 10 PTS: 14 +/-: -3
Total Stats: GP: 26 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19 +/-: -3
Things I've Done
Selected 40th overall in S35 SMJHL Draft by STL
Selected 30th overall in S36 SHL Entry Draft by POR
Won some team awards with the Crows, but no cup
won Presidents Trophy with San Francisco in S38
won a silver medal with Ireland (S38)
won two bronze medals with Ireland (S39, S41)
won a shit ton of golds with Ireland (S42-47)
was traded by San Francisco to Minnesota before S41
Traded to Seattle by Minnesota before S42 Trade Deadline
traded to Toronto by Seattle before S45 trade deadline
signed a one year, $6 million contract with Edmonton
signed a one year, $4.5 million contract with San Fransisco
named Pride alternate captain for S48
won president's trophy with SFP (s50)
writes haters guides where I shit on every team

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

I also want to take a minute to point out that if we took every team, combined all of the players into a single Megazord player, these are the results of who has the biggest Megazord dick....

Edmonton Blizzard 129.4478
Los Angeles Panthers 124.3901
Hamilton Steelhawks 123.9503
Minnesota Chiefs 123.2906
Manhattan Rage 122.9974
Calgary Dragons 120.7251
Texas Renegades 119.0392
Buffalo Stampede 117.7931
Chicago Syndicate 115.3009
Toronto North Stars 113.8349
New Orleans Specters 113.3951
Tampa Bay Barracuda 112.9553
New England Wolfpack 108.2641
Winnipeg Jets 108.0442
West Kendall Platoon 107.751
San Francisco Pride 107.3845

Piotr Horvat | D | Texas Renegades
SMJHL Regular Season Statistics
S47 KEL GP: 50, G: 3, A: 17, P: 20, +/-: 8, Hits: 73, SB: 56
S48 KEL GP: 50, G: 7, A: 21, P: 28, +/-: -21, Hits: 107, SB: 69
S49 KEL GP: 50, G: 9, A: 23, P: 32, +/-: 10, Hits: 99, SB: 59
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Statistics
S50 TEX GP: 50, G: 4, A: 19, P: 23, +/-: -13, Hits: 103, SB: 72
S51 TEX GP: 50, G: 8, A: 21, P: 29, +/-: -8, Hits: 115, SB: 77
S52 TEX GP: 50, G: 3, A: 22, P: 25, +/-: -5, Hits: 107, SB: 79
S53 TEX GP: 50, G: 2, A: 8, P: 10, +/-: -18, Hits: 80, SB: 66
S54 TEX GP: 50, G: 1, A: 9, P: 10, +/-: -4, Hits: 117, SB: 99
S55 TEX GP: 50, G: 8, A: 19, P: 27, +/-: 0, Hits: 137, SB: 105
S56 TEX GP: 50, G: 3, A: 22, P: 25, +/-: 6, Hits: 144, SB: 78
------------------------------------------------------------
Drafted 4th Overall S47 SMJHL Draft By Kelowna
Drafted 6th Overall S48 SHL Draft By New England




Vasily Horvat | RW | Retired

SHL Regular Season Career Statistics
S34 TEX GP: 50, G: 4, A: 6, P: 10, +/-: -14, PIMS: 41, Hits: 115
S35 TEX GP: 50, G: 4, A: 2, P: 6, +/-: -5, PIMS: 18, Hits: 86
S36 TEX GP: 50, G: 3, A: 7, P: 10, +/-: -13, PIMS: 53, Hits: 95
S37 TEX GP: 50, G: 1, A: 7, P: 8, +/-: -30, PIMS: 35, Hits: 71
S38 TEX GP: 50, G: 8, A: 15, P: 23, +/-: 4, PIMS: 80, Hits: 203
S39 TEX GP: 50, G: 18, A: 25, P: 43, +/-: 13, PIMS: 69. Hits: 211
S40 TEX GP: 50, G: 12, A: 21, P: 33, +/-: 11, PIMS: 45, Hits: 167
S41 TEX GP: 50, G: 11, A: 35, P: 46, +/-: -14, PIMS: 59, Hits: 190
S42 TEX GP: 50, G: 16, A: 31, P: 47, +/-: -5, PIMS: 56, Hits: 206
S43 TEX GP: 50, G: 16, A: 23, P: 39, +/-: 4, PIMS: 50, Hits: 225
S44 TEX GP: 50, G: 15, A: 27, P: 42, +/-: -5, PIMS: 62, Hits: 212
S45 TEX GP: 50, G: 11, A: 30, P: 41, +/-: -2, PIMS: 56, Hits: 206
S46 NOLA GP: 50, G: 3, A: 15, P: 18, +/-: -3, PIMS: 48, Hits: 114
S47 NOLA GP: 50, G: 5, A: 6, P: 11, +/-: -9, PIMS: 18, Hits: 119
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Statistics
S34 TEX GP: 13, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: -1, PIMS: 10, Hits: 16
S35 TEX GP: 6, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 1, PIMS: 0, Hits: 1
S36 TEX GP: 16, G: 2, A: 5, P: 7, +/-: 1, PIMS: 16, Hits: 45
S37 TEX GP: 4, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: -2, PIMS: 0, Hits: 4
S40 TEX GP: 5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, PIMS: 4, Hits: 15
S42 TEX GP: 5, G: 0, A: 4, P: 4, +/-: 3, PIMS: 6, Hits: 21
S45 TEX GP: 11, G: 2, A: 6, P: 10, +/-: 4, PIMS: 8, Hits: 46
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards
S31 and S32 Four Star Champion
S36 Challenge Cup Champion
S38 IIHF Gold Medalist
S43 IIHF Silver Medalist

I also want to take a minute to point out that if we took every team, combined all of the players into a single Megazord player, these are the results of who has the biggest Megazord dick....

Edmonton Blizzard 129.4478
Los Angeles Panthers 124.3901
Hamilton Steelhawks 123.9503
Minnesota Chiefs 123.2906
Manhattan Rage           122.9974
Calgary Dragons 120.7251
Texas Renegades 119.0392
Buffalo Stampede 117.7931
Chicago Syndicate 115.3009
Toronto North Stars 113.8349
New Orleans Specters 113.3951
Tampa Bay Barracuda 112.9553
New England Wolfpack 108.2641
Winnipeg Jets         108.0442
West Kendall Platoon 107.751
San Francisco Pride 107.3845

So much for pride.

Rikkert Biemans || #21 || S66  || Tampa Bay Barracuda || Katth#7745
-----------------------------------------------
Drafted 8th overall by the Kelowna Knights
Drafted 6th overall by the Texas Renegades and traded to Montreal Patriotes
Traded to St. Louis Scarecrows
Traded to Tampa Bay Barracuda
S67 WJC Gold Medal - Dach
S70 IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
S72 IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
S73 All Star Game (1st appearance)
S74 IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
-----------------------------------------------
SMJHL:
S65 || GP: 66 || G: 14 || A: 11 || P: 25 || SHT%: 13.6% || Hits: 85
S66 || GP: 66 || G: 19 || A: 20 || P: 39 || SHT%: 13.8% || Hits: 93
S67 || GP: 66 || G: 36 || A: 32 || P: 68 || SHT%: 18.6% || Hits: 129
-----------------------------------------------
SHL:
S68 || GP: 66 || G: 29 || A: 25 || P: 54 || SHT%: 16.8% || GWG: 6 || Hits: 108
S69 || GP: 66 || G: 12 || A: 38 || P: 50 || SHT%: 08.4% || GWG: 3 || Hits: 72
S70 || GP: 66 || G: 22 || A: 32 || P: 54 || SHT%: 13.5% || GWG: 0 || Hits: 73
S71 || GP: 66 || G: 31 || A: 40 || P: 71 || SHT%: 14.8% || GWG: 2 || Hits: 100
S72 || GP: 66 || G: 38 || A: 31 || P: 69 || SHT%: 16.6% || GWG: 7 || Hits: 102
S73 || GP: 66 || G: 38 || A: 43 || P: 81 || SHT%: 13.0% || GWG: 6 || Hits: 94
S74 || GP: 66 || G: 42 || A: 57 || P: 99 || SHT%: 16.3% || GWG: 7 || Hits: 100


 



Barry Batsbak || #92 || S46 || Calgary Dragons || 2,080 TPE (peak) || Katth#7745
Alias: The Bird
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 204 lbs
Number: 92
Country: Austria
Render: Evgeny Kuznetsov
-----------------------------------------------
SHL:
S48 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 03 || A: 10 || P: 13 || +/- -10 || SHT%: 03.66% || FO%: 50.49%
S49 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 10 || A: 11 || P: 21 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 13.33% || FO%: 49.89%
S50 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 05 || A: 20 || P: 25 || +/- -05 || SHT%: 04.85% || FO%: 53.81%
S51 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 12 || A: 17 || P: 29 || +/-  05 || SHT%: 09.45% || FO%: 54.32%
S52 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 15 || A: 26 || P: 41 || +/-  11 || SHT%: 10.79% || FO%: 54.99%
S53 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 17 || A: 38 || P: 55 || +/-  16 || SHT%: 10.37% || FO%: 56.70%
S54 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 14 || A: 36 || P: 50 || +/- -06 || SHT%: 07.22% || FO%: 57.82%
S55 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 14 || A: 42 || P: 56 || +/- -11 || SHT%: 08.86% || FO%: 57.82%
S56 || CGY || GP: 50 || G: 29 || A: 34 || P: 63 || +/-  39 || SHT%: 15.59% || FO%: 55.44%
-----------------------------------------------
SHL Playoffs:
S48 || CGY || GP: 11 || G: 01 || A: 05 || P: 06 || +/- 00 || SHT%: 05.56% || FO%: 44.74%
S49 || CGY || GP: 07 || G: 02 || A: 03 || P: 05 || +/- 05 || SHT%: 15.38% || FO%: 51.67%
S50 || CGY || GP: 20 || G: 02 || A: 08 || P: 10 || +/- -01|| SHT%: 06.25% || FO%: 58.21%
S51 || CGY || GP: 07 || G: 01 || A: 03 || P: 04 || +/- 01 || SHT%: 05.88% || FO%: 47.93%
S52 || CGY || GP: 13 || G: 05 || A: 07 || P: 12 || +/- 09 || SHT%: 15.15% || FO%: 51.50%
S53 || CGY || GP: 07 || G: 02 || A: 01 || P: 03 || +/--02 || SHT%: 08.00% || FO%: 00.00%
S54 || CGY || GP: 05 || G: 01 || A: 04 || P: 05 || +/- 00 || SHT%: 07.14% || FO%: 00.00%
S55 || CGY || GP: 06 || G: 01 || A: 03 || P: 04 || +/--04 || SHT%: 05.88% || FO%: 00.00%
S56 || CGY || GP: 05 || G: 01 || A: 04 || P: 05 || +/- 00 || SHT%: 07.14% || FO%: 00.00%
-----------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin:
S48 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 00 || A: 01 || P: 01 || +/-  00 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 50.00%
S49 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 04 || A: 02 || P: 06 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 20.00% || FO%: 51.95%
S50 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 00 || A: 03 || P: 03 || +/-  03 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 53.18%
S51 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 04 || A: 04 || P: 08 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 16.00% || FO%: 57.39%
S52 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 06 || A: 04 || P: 10 || +/-  10 || SHT%: 23.08% || FO%: 61.13%
S53 || AUT || GP: 12 || G: 01 || A: 10 || P: 11 || +/- -02 || SHT%: 02.94% || FO%: 00.00%
-----------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Rounds:
S48 || AUT || GP: 01 || G: 01 || A: 00 || P: 01 || +/-  01 || SHT%: 50.00% || FO%: 100.00%
S50 || AUT || GP: 02 || G: 00 || A: 00 || P: 00 || +/- -01 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 47.50%
S51 || AUT || GP: 01 || G: 00 || A: 00 || P: 00 || +/- -00 || SHT%: 00.00% || FO%: 00.00%
-----------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season:
S45 || KEL || GP: 50 || G: 08 || A: 05 || P: 13 || +/-  -04 || SHT%: 16.00% || FO%: 46.88%
S46 || KEL || GP: 50 || G: 11 || A: 25 || P: 36 || +/- +12 || SHT%: 10.68% || FO%: 46.10%
S47 || KEL || GP: 50 || G: 13 || A: 25 || P: 38 || +/-  -10 || SHT%: 10.08% || FO%: 48.30%
-----------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoffs:
S45 || KEL || GP: 04 || G: 02 || A: 00 || P: 02 || +/- +00 || SHT%: 50.00%
S46 || KEL || GP: 18 || G: 02 || A: 12 || P: 14 || +/- +10 || SHT%: 06.06%
S47 || KEL || GP: 10 || G: 05 || A: 07 || P: 12 || +/- +00 || SHT%: 15.63%
-----------------------------------------------
Transactions & Awards:
S45: Drafted 61st overall by Kelowna Knights
S45: Silver medal WJC (CAN)
S46: Drafted 22nd overall by Calgary Dragons
S46: Laurifer Trophy (KEL - SMJHL)
S46: Riko Muerto Award (KEL - Most Underated Player)
S46: Bronze medal WJC (CAN)
S47: John McBride Award (KEL - Playoff MVP)
S47: Gold medal WJC (CAN)
S49: Appointed as Head Coach of the Kelowna Knights
S49: First career shorthanded goal (Thursday, August 15, 2019)
S49: First career hattrick (Saturday, August 17, 2019)
S49: President's Trophy (CGY)
S49: Appointed Federation Head for Austria
S49: Mike Izzy Award (CGY - Exemplary commitment to off-ice contributions to the team)
S50: Named Alternate Captain for S50 (CGY)
S50: Western Conference Champion (CGY)
S50: Challenge Cup Champion (CGY)
S51: Appointed co-GM for Kelowna Knights
S52: Appointed GM for Kelowna Knights
S53: Jesster Award (CGY - Most Valuable Player)
S53: Western Conference Champion (KEL)
S54: Named Alternate Captain for S54 & S55 (CGY)
S54: Laurifer Trophy (KEL)

 
S50 Challenge Cup Finals Game 7

I also want to take a minute to point out that if we took every team, combined all of the players into a single Megazord player, these are the results of who has the biggest Megazord dick....

Edmonton Blizzard 129.4478
Los Angeles Panthers 124.3901
Hamilton Steelhawks 123.9503
Minnesota Chiefs 123.2906
Manhattan Rage           122.9974
Calgary Dragons 120.7251
Texas Renegades 119.0392
Buffalo Stampede 117.7931
Chicago Syndicate 115.3009
Toronto North Stars 113.8349
New Orleans Specters 113.3951
Tampa Bay Barracuda 112.9553
New England Wolfpack 108.2641
Winnipeg Jets         108.0442
West Kendall Platoon 107.751
San Francisco Pride 107.3845

So much for pride.

Stop it wére already dead

Angus McFife XVIII RD  7th overall pick by Colorado Raptors
S59 17th OA Pick by Atlanta Inferno
Height: 6''4
Weight:222 lb
Number:23
Nationality : Great Britain
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career
  S|GP||G||A||P||HIT||PM
S58|0||0||0||0||0||0
TBD
  S|GP||G||A||P||HIT||PM
S40|0||0||0||0||0||0
S0|0||0||0||0||0||0
--S59 WJC Bronze--



Character Page RD- Quarterback


Retired players:
-Toki Wartooth
-Nathan Explosion btw
-Angus McFife XVIII

the Pack are growers not showers

RIP Dangel. See you on the other side, brother

Edit2: oh wait it just said that females would be filtered out. My original point still stands.

Yeah that clearly didn't happen. This is a cringey.

M'Baku Olubori || #81 || RW

Drafted 4th overall in S64 SMJHL Draft by Regina

Drafted 95th overall in S65 SHL Draft by Baltimore

Won S68 Ryan Jesster Trophy (Rookie of the Year)

Cassius Darrow || #81 || RD
-------------------------------------------
SMJHL Stats:
S44 - S46 || COL  || GP: 150 || G: 15 || A: 85 || P: 100 || +/-: +1 || SB: 195
S47 - S55 || BUF  || GP: X || G: X || A: X || P: X || +/-: X || SB: X
S56 - S63 || SEA  || GP: 0 || G: 0 || A: 0 || P: 0 || +/-: 0 || SB: 0
-------------------------------------------
Drafted 8th overall in S44 SMJHL Draft to Colorado
Co-Winner of S44 Zach Miller Trophy
Drafted 4th overall in S45 SHL Draft to Buffalo
Named S45 & S46 Captain of the Colorado Raptors
3-time Challenge Cup Champion (S46, S48, S55)
Named Assistant Captain of Buffalo Stampede S53-S55
Drafted 1st overall S56 Expansion Draft by Seattle
Named Captain of the Seattle Argonauts in S56
Bojo Biscuit Winner S57, S58

Baltimore Platoon GM || S64 - present

SHL Executioner || S62 - S65
SHL Awards Committee || S57 - S66
SHL Historian Committee || S53 - S64
SHL Head Office || S60 - S61
SMJHL Awards Head || S48 - S57
Colorado Raptors GM || S48 - S53
Colorado Raptors Co-GM || S47
Team Germany Federation Head || S44 - S46
SMJHL HO Member - S45-S46
SMJHL Head Office Intern - S44 

---

Thank you karey, OrbitingDeath Ragnar, and sköldpaddor for sigs! 

Amazing how the female members who are listed aren't upset about relating to them and their imaginary size.
Where is the outrage for this thread?
Where is the outrage for... forget it.. who cares... I just find it ironic... oh right I don't know how to use the word ironic.

I’m sorry it’s so hard for you to understand how to please women.

JESS

    -             -     

Edit2: oh wait it just said that females would be filtered out. My original point still stands.

Yeah that clearly didn't happen. This is a cringey.

What?

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez | RW | NL / BUF
Name: グリムジョー・ジャガージャック
From:  HUECO MUNDO
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 176 lbs

| HISTORY |

SMJHL Draft: S68, 33rd Overall, Newfoundland Berserkers
SHL Draft: S69(nice), 18th Overall, Buffalo Stampede


ディシスド  デウーディー | Defenseman | CHI
Name: Disisde Dayudie / ディシスド  デウーディー
From: Matsumoto, Japan
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 209 lbs

| REGULAR SEASON |

S49 | LET | GP: 50 | G: 7  | A: 19  | P: 26 | +/-: -8 | PIM: 32 | HITS: 48 | SB: 59 | ATOI: 21.70
S50 | LET | GP: 50 | G: 12 | A: 19 | P: 31 | +/-: -4 | PIM: 6 | HITS: 34 | SB: 49 | ATOI: 21.63
S51 | LET | GP: 50 | G: 13 | A: 24 | P: 37 | +/-: +1 | PIM: 28 | HITS: 43 | SB: 49 | ATOI: 22.56
S52 |  NL | GP: 50 | G: 12 | A: 27 | P: 39 | +/-: -16 | PIM: 12 | HITS: 44 | SB: 45 | ATOI: 22.94
S53 | LAP | GP: 50 | G: 3 | A: 14 | P: 17 | +/-: 16 | PIM: 10 | HITS: 54 | SB: 28 | ATOI: 16.58
S54 | LAP | GP: 50 | G: 6 | A: 11 | P: 17 | +/-: 22 | PIM: 26 | HITS: 39 | SB: 54 | ATOI: 17.49
S55 | LAP | GP: 50 | G: 4 | A: 18 | P: 22 | +/-: -1 | PIM: 20 | HITS: 55 | SB: 87 | ATOI: 20.43
S56 | CHI | GP: 50 | G: 5 | A: 24 | P: 29 | +/-: 28 | PIM: 16 | HITS: 56 | SB: 95 | ATOI: 19.59
S57 | CHI | GP: 66 | G: 10 | A: 39 | P: 49 | +/-: 52 | PIM: 18 | HITS: 78 | SB: 106 | ATOI: 19.56
S58 | CHI | GP: 66 | G: 7 | A: 31 | P: 36 | +/-: 36 | PIM: 14 | HITS: 107 | SB: 92 | ATOI: 19.48
S59 | CHI | GP: 66 | G: 15 | A: 34 | P: 49 | +/-: 73 | PIM: 16 | HITS: 152 | SB: 115 | ATOI: 20:52
S60 | CHI | GP: 66 | G: 14 | A: 25 | P: 39 | +/-: 27 | PIM: 10 | HITS: 72 | SB: 93 | ATOI: 20:37
S61 | CHI | GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 26 | P: 34 | +/-: 39 | PIM: 16 | HITS: 90 | SB: 89 | ATOI: 20:49
S62 | CHI | GP: 66 | G: 14 | A: 40 | P: 54 | +/-: 69 | PIM: 16 | HITS: 110 | SB: 52 | ATOI: 20:25
S63 | CHI | GP: 66 | G: 5 | A: 24 | P: 29 | +/-: 36 | PIM: 16 | HITS: 99 | SB: 69 | ATOI: 20:06
S64 | CHI | GP: 66 | G: 6 | A: 19 | P: 25 | +/-: 39 | PIM: 16 | HITS: 108 | SB: 112 | ATOI: 20:13
S65 | CHI | GP: 66 | G: 9 | A: 23 | P: 32 | +/-: 43 | PIM: 22 | HITS: 103 | SB: 115 | ATOI: 20:10

|  PLAYOFFS |

S49 | LET | GP: 11 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: +1 | PIM: 10 | HITS: 7 | SB: 9 | ATOI: 20.98
S50 | LET | GP: 5  | G: 1 | A: 2 | P: 3 | +/-: -4 | PIM: 6 | HITS: 3 | SB: 5 | ATOI: 21.52
S51 | LET | GP: 6  | G: 1 | A: 3 | P: 4 | +/-: 3 | PIM: 4 | HITS: 7 | SB: 11 | ATOI: 24.23
S52 |  NL | GP: 10  | G: 1 | A: 8 | P: 9 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 16 | HITS: 8 | SB: 9 | ATOI: 23.19
S53 | LAP | GP: 11  | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: 5 | PIM: 2 | HITS: 17 | SB: 9 | ATOI: 19:47
S54 | LAP | GP: 12  | G: 0 | A: 2 | P: 2 | +/-: -4 | PIM: 6 | HITS: 10 | SB: 10 | ATOI: 18:29
S55 | LAP | MISSED
S56 | CHI | GP: 16  | G: 3 | A: 7 | P: 10 | +/-: 5 | PIM: 2 | HITS: 21 | SB: 33 | ATOI: 21:27
S57 | CHI | GP: 24  | G: 4 | A: 5 | P: 9 | +/-: 7 | PIM: 7 | HITS: 29 | SB: 33 | ATOI: 21:38
S58 | CHI | MISSED
S59 | CHI | GP: 16  | G: 3 | A: 12 | P: 15 | +/-: 7 | PIM: 2 | HITS: 21 | SB: 26 | ATOI: 21:38
S60 | CHI | GP: 23   | G: 3 | A: 7 | P: 10 | +/-: 4 | PIM: 0 | HITS: 23 | SB: 44 | ATOI: 21:11
S61 | CHI | GP: 11  | G: 0 | A: 5 | P: 5 | +/-: 6 | PIM: 0 | HITS: 19 | SB: 17 | ATOI: 20:52
S62 | CHI | GP: 10  | G: 2 | A: 5 | P: 7 | +/-: 4 | PIM: 2 | HITS: 8 | SB: 9 | ATOI: 20:26
S63 | CHI | GP: 14  | G: 1 | A: 7 | P: 8 | +/-: 16 | PIM: 0 | HITS: 13 | SB: 20 | ATOI: 21:15
S64 | CHI | GP: 22  | G: 4 | A: 7 | P: 11 | +/-: 14 | PIM: 2 | HITS: 36 | SB: 28 | ATOI: 21:42
S65 | CHI | GP: 17  | G: 1 | A: 8 | P: 9 | +/-: 10 | PIM: 2 | HITS: 25 | SB: 30 | ATOI: 20:28

| HISTORY |
SMJHL Draft: S49, 5th Overall, Lethbridge Lions
SHL Draft: S50, 7th Overall, Los Angeles Panthers
Traded to Chicago Syndicate S56
Challenge Cup Champion with Chicago Syndicate S57
Japan IIHF Gold Medalist S59
Bojo Biscuit Trophy Winner S59


Robert Andersson | Goaltender Supreme | MIN | Retired HoF Scrub
Name: Robert Andersson
From: Skellefteå, Sweden
Height: 6'5"
Weight: 211 lbs

[pbcust,12,300,E41B17,003300,0]
Robert Andersson | Goaltender Supreme | MIN | Retired HoF Scrub
Name: Robert Andersson
From: Skellefteå, Sweden
Height: 6'5"
Weight: 211 lbs

| Regular Season Statistics |

S25 | MTL | GP: 16 | W:  8  | L:  5  | OTL: 2 | GA:  40 | SA: 338 | SV%: 88.2 | GAA: 2.65 | SO: 0
S26 | MTL | GP: 43 | W: 28 | L: 11 | OTL: 4 | GA: 114 | SA: 913 | SV%: 87.5 | GAA: 2.69 | SO: 1
S27 | MIN | GP: 44 | W: 21 | L: 19 | OTL: 4 | GA: 123 | SA: 1304 | SV%: 90.6 | GAA: 2.75 | SO: 3
S28 | MIN | GP: 44 | W: 18 | L: 21 | OTL: 5 | GA: 135 | SA: 1331 | SV%: 89.9 | GAA: 3.03 | SO: 1
S29 | MIN | GP: 44 | W: 31 | L: 13 | OTL: 0 | GA: 105 | SA: 1260 | SV%: 91.7 | GAA: 2.37 | SO: 0
S30 | MIN | GP: 43 | W: 29 | L: 13 | OTL: 1 | GA: 117 | SA: 1249 | SV%: 90.6 | GAA: 2.70 | SO: 4
S31 | MIN | GP: 44 | W: 26 | L: 17 | OTL: 1 | GA: 121 | SA: 1360 | SV%: 91.1 | GAA: 2.73 | SO: 3
S32 | MIN | GP: 44 | W: 22 | L: 19 | OTL: 3 | GA: 100 | SA: 1338 | SV%: 92.5 | GAA: 2.26 | SO: 4
S33 | MIN | GP: 44 | W: 19 | L: 22 | OTL: 3 | GA: 118 | SA: 1408 | SV%: 91.6 | GAA: 2.66 | SO: 2
S34 | MIN | GP: 44 | W: 24 | L: 15 | OTL: 5 | GA: 133 | SA: 1467 | SV%: 90.9 | GAA: 2.98 | SO: 2
S35 | MIN | GP: 44 | W: 20 | L: 21 | OTL: 3 | GA: 134 | SA: 1428 | SV%: 90.6 | GAA: 3.02 | SO: 2
S36 | MIN | GP: 45 | W: 26 | L: 12 | OTL: 7 | GA: 109 | SA: 1324 | SV%: 91.8 | GAA: 2.39 | SO: 4
S37 | MIN | GP: 42 | W: 23 | L: 14 | OTL: 5 | GA: 103 | SA: 1220 | SV%: 91.6 | GAA: 2.43 | SO: 5

| Playoff Statistics |

S26 | MTL | GP: 5 | W:1 | L:4 | OTL: 0 | GA: 10 | SA: 128 | SV%: 92.2 | GAA: 2.01 | SO: 1
S27 | MIN | GP: 5 | W: 1 | L: 3 | OTL: 1 | GA: 15 | SA: 138 | SV%: 89.1 | GAA: 2.96 | SO: 0
S28 | MIN | MISSED
S29 | MIN | GP: 4 | W: 0 | L: 2 | OTL: 2 | GA: 18 | SA: 169 | SV%: 89.3 | GAA: 3.66 | SO: 0
S30 | MIN | GP: 4 | W: 0 | L: 1 | OTL: 3 | GA: 16 | SA: 154 | SV%: 89.6 | GAA: 3.36 | SO: 0
S31 | MIN | GP: 5 | W: 1 | L: 3 | OTL: 1 | GA: 17 | SA: 159 | SV%: 89.3 | GAA: 3.41 | SO: 0
S32 | MIN | GP: 7 | W: 3 | L: 4 | OTL: 0 | GA: 22 | SA: 274 | SV%: 92.0 | GAA: 2.83 | SO: 0
S33 | MIN | MISSED
S34 | MIN | GP: 4 | W: 0 | L: 4 | OTL: 0 | GA: 18 | SA: 156 | SV%: 88.5 | GAA: 4.51 | SO: 0
S35 | MIN | MISSED
S36 | MIN | GP: 13 | W: 6 | L: 6 | OTL: 1 | GA: 42 | SA: 419 | SV%: 90.0 | GAA: 2.94 | SO: 0

| HISTORY |

SMJHL Draft: S25, 28th Overall, Montreal Impact
SHL Draft: S26, 18th Overall, Minnesota Chiefs
1x McBride Winner, 5x McBride Nominee(most in league history)
2x IIHF Gold Medalist, 1x IIHF Silver Medalist
Most Games, Most Wins in Minnesota Chiefs History.

| AWARDS / NOMINATIONS |

S27 Nominee: John McBride Trophy
S27 Winner: Ryan Jesster Trophy
S27 IIHF Silver Medalist
S28 IIHF Gold Medalist
S29 Nominee: John McBride Trophy
S29 Winner: Aidan Richan Trophy
S29 IIHF Gold Medalist
S31 IIHF Top Goalie
S32 Nominee: John McBride Trophy
S32 IIHF Top Goalie
S33 Nominee: John McBride Trophy
S36 Nominee: Ron Mexico Trophy
S36 Winner: John McBride
S37 Nominee: John McBride

| ALL-STAR TEAMS |

S27  All-Star Rookie Team (Enough votes for East All Star Team)
S29 3rd All-Star Team
S32 2nd All-Star Team
S33 1st All-Star Team
S36 1st All-Star Team
S37 3rd All-Star Team



Dick Skillstedt | Retired Right Winger | MIN
Name: Dick Skillstedt
From: Skellefteå, Sweden
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 235 lbs

| REGULAR SEASON |

S37 | VAN | GP: 50 | G: 8 | A: 9 | P: 17 | +/-: -3 | PIM: 51 | Hits: 101 | SB: 4 | AMG: 20:05
S38 | VAN | GP: 50 | G: 11 | A: 20 | P: 31 | +/-: 11 | PIM: 64 | Hits: 120 | SB: 5 | AMG: 18:76
S39 | MIN | GP: 50 | G: 0 | A: 1 | P: 1 | +/-: -1 | PIM: 0 | Hits: 8 | SB: 1 | AMG: 4:03
S40 | MIN | GP: 50 | G: 10 | A: 5 | P: 15 | +/-: -13 | PIM: 47 | Hits: 102 | SB: 4 | AMG: 16:11
S41 | MIN | GP: 50 | G: 13 | A: 11 | P: 24 | +/-: 3 | PIM: 42 | Hits: 31 | SB: 4 | AMG: 18:88
S42 | MIN | GP: 50 | G: 15 | A: 17 | P: 32 | +/-: -11 | PIM: 55 | Hits: 94 | SB: 9 | AMG: 20:15
S43 | HAM | GP: 50 | G: 15 | A: 18 | P: 33 | +/-: 15 | PIM: 80 | Hits: 123 | SB: 8 | AMG: 19:12
S44 | HAM | GP: 50 | G: 9 | A: 23 | P: 32 | +/-: -5 | PIM: 67 | Hits: 129 | SB: 7 | AMG: 20:65
S45 | HAM/MIN | GP: 50 | G: 19 | A: 21 | P: 40 | +/-: -5 | PIM: 46 | Hits: 146 | SB: 20 | AMG: 22:64
S46 | MIN | GP: 50 | G: 27 | A: 44 | P: 71 | +/-: 25 | PIM: 45 | Hits: 92 | SB: 18 | AMG: 25:01

Yeah that clearly didn't happen. This is a cringey.

What?

He literally has Sophia Bennett and Anastasia O'Koivu listed in these ranks. Probably more I didn't see.

You're fine Sweg. OP goofed.

M'Baku Olubori || #81 || RW

Drafted 4th overall in S64 SMJHL Draft by Regina

Drafted 95th overall in S65 SHL Draft by Baltimore

Won S68 Ryan Jesster Trophy (Rookie of the Year)

Cassius Darrow || #81 || RD
-------------------------------------------
SMJHL Stats:
S44 - S46 || COL  || GP: 150 || G: 15 || A: 85 || P: 100 || +/-: +1 || SB: 195
S47 - S55 || BUF  || GP: X || G: X || A: X || P: X || +/-: X || SB: X
S56 - S63 || SEA  || GP: 0 || G: 0 || A: 0 || P: 0 || +/-: 0 || SB: 0
-------------------------------------------
Drafted 8th overall in S44 SMJHL Draft to Colorado
Co-Winner of S44 Zach Miller Trophy
Drafted 4th overall in S45 SHL Draft to Buffalo
Named S45 & S46 Captain of the Colorado Raptors
3-time Challenge Cup Champion (S46, S48, S55)
Named Assistant Captain of Buffalo Stampede S53-S55
Drafted 1st overall S56 Expansion Draft by Seattle
Named Captain of the Seattle Argonauts in S56
Bojo Biscuit Winner S57, S58

Baltimore Platoon GM || S64 - present

SHL Executioner || S62 - S65
SHL Awards Committee || S57 - S66
SHL Historian Committee || S53 - S64
SHL Head Office || S60 - S61
SMJHL Awards Head || S48 - S57
Colorado Raptors GM || S48 - S53
Colorado Raptors Co-GM || S47
Team Germany Federation Head || S44 - S46
SMJHL HO Member - S45-S46
SMJHL Head Office Intern - S44 

---

Thank you karey, OrbitingDeath Ragnar, and sköldpaddor for sigs! 

i knew @Slowpoke would be behind this in some way

EMIL KARLSSON | C | MONTREAL PATRIOTES | 1007 TPE
NAME: Emil Karlsson
BIRTHPLACE: Örnsköldsvik, Sweden
HEIGHT: 6'3"
WEIGHT: 230 lbs
NUMBER: 28
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S76 MTL: GP: 66, G: 18, A: 29, P: 47, +/-: -90, H: 71
S77 MTL: GP: , G: , A: , P: , +/-: , H:
TOT: GP: 66, G: 18, A: 29, P: 47, +/-: -90, H: 71
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S76 MTL: DNQ
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S72 DET: GP: 8, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -8, H: 9
S73 DET: GP: 66, G: 18, A: 23, P: 41, +/-: -3, H: 73
S74 DET: GP: 66, G: 9, A: 24, P: 33, +/-: -7, H: 59
S75 DET: GP: 66, G: 17, A: 38, P: 55, +/-: 9, H: 90
TOT: GP: 206, G: 44, A: 85, P: 129, +/-: -9, H: 231
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S72 DET: DNQ
S73 DET: GP: 9, G: 1, A: 5, P: 6, +/-: -7, H: 9
S74 DET: GP: 17, G: 1, A: 7, P: 8, +/-: 4, H: 12
S75 DET: GP: 14, G: 5, A: 6, P: 11, +/-: -8, H: 15
TOT: GP: 40, G: 7, A: 18, P: 25, +/-: -11, H: 36
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF CAREER STATS
------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/HONOURS:
S74: Four Star Cup champion (Detroit Falcons)
S74: WJC Gold Medal (Team Norden)
S75: WJC Gold Medal (Team Norden)
------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSACTIONS:
S72: Signed as UDFA with Detroit Falcons
S73: Drafted 16th overall by Detroit Falcons
S74: Drafted 6th overall by Montreal Patriotes
------------------------------------------------------------

ISAK SOGARD | D | RETIRED
NAME: Isak Sogard
BIRTHPLACE: Bergen, Norway
HEIGHT: 6'2"
WEIGHT: 220 lbs
NUMBER: 4
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S68 STL: GP: 7, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: 1, H: 16
S69 KEL: GP: 0, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
TOT: GP: 7, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: 1, H: 16
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S68 STL: GP: 16, G: 0, A: 9, P: 9, +/-: 10, H: 16
S69 KEL: GP: 0, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
TOT: GP: 16, G: 0, A: 9, P: 9, +/-: 10, H: 16
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF CAREER STATS
------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/HONOURS:
------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSACTIONS:
S68: Signed as UDFA with St. Louis Scarecrows
S69: Drafted 2nd overall by Kelowna Knights
------------------------------------------------------------

KAARLO KEKKONEN | LW | RETIRED
NAME: Kaarlo Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: Akaa, Finland
HEIGHT: 6'4"
WEIGHT: 220 lbs
NUMBER: 82
---------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S54 TEX: GP: 50, G: 5, A: 13, P: 18, +/-: -5, H: 12
S55 TEX: GP: 50, G: 10, A: 16, P: 26, +/-: -11, H: 19
S56 TEX: GP: 50, G: 21, A: 23, P: 44, +/-: 4, H: 23
S57 TEX: GP: 66, G: 26, A: 40, P: 66, +/-: 37, H: 23
S58 TEX: GP: 66, G: 28, A: 47, P: 75, +/-: 37, H: 15
S59 TEX: GP: 66, G: 31, A: 39, P: 70, +/-: 34, H: 27
S60 MTL: GP: 66, G: 29, A: 37, P: 66, +/-: -21, H: 55
S61 MTL: GP: 66, G: 30, A: 30, P: 60, +/-: -13, H: 89
S62 PHI: GP: 66, G: 40, A: 51, P: 91, +/-: 18, H: 47
S63 PHI: GP: 66, G: 21, A: 50, P: 71, +/-: 23, H: 58
S64 PHI: GP: 66, G: 35, A: 32, P: 67, +/-: 36, H: 51
S65 PHI: GP: 66, G: 21, A: 37, P: 58, +/-: 18, H: 57
S66 PHI: GP: 66, G: 18, A: 24, P: 42, +/-: -21, H: 142
S67 BUF: GP: 66, G: 20, A: 30, P: 50, +/-: -8, H: 69
S68 BUF: GP: 66, G: 17, A: 17, P: 34, +/-: -4, H: 117
TOT: GP: 942, G: 352, A: 486, P: 838, +/-: 124, H: 804
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S54 TEX: DNQ
S55 TEX: GP: 4, G: 2, A: 0, P: 2, +/-: -2, H: 2
S56 TEX: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -6 , H: 1
S57 TEX: GP: 5, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: -3, H: 1
S58 TEX: GP: 12, G: 3, A: 6, P: 9, +/-: 2, H: 6
S59 TEX: GP: 16, G: 4, A: 7, P: 11, +/-: 3, H: 10
S60 MTL: DNQ
S61 MTL: DNQ
S62 PHI: GP: 6, G: 3, A: 4, P: 7, +/-: 5, H: 8
S63 PHI: GP: 6, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -1, H: 6
S64 PHI: GP: 4, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -7, H: 3
S65 PHI: GP: 7, G: 4, A: 3, P: 7, +/-: 4, H: 6
S66 PHI: GP: 7, G: 2, A: 4, P: 6, +/-: 1, H: 10
S67 BUF: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -2, H: 3
S68 BUF: GP: 17, G: 9, A: 4, P: 13, +/-: -6, H: 34
TOT: GP: 92, G: 29, A: 30, P: 59, +/-: -10, H: 87
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S49 DET: GP:5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, H: 0
S50 DET: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 12, P: 21, +/-: -6, H: 47
S51 DET: GP: 50, G: 16, A: 22, P: 38, +/-: 8, H: 42
S52 DET: GP: 50, G: 29, A: 33, P: 62, +/-: 19, H: 58
S53 DET: GP: 50, G: 19, A: 31, P: 50, +/-: 25 H: 5
TOT: GP: 205, G: 73, A: 99, P: 172, +/-: 45, H: 152
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S50 DET: GP: 10, G: 2, A: 3, P: 5, +/-: 1, H: 10
S51 DET: GP: 7, G: 2, A: 4, P: 6, +/-: -4, H: 8
S52 DET: GP: 10, G: 6, A: 3, P: 9, +/-: 6, H: 10
S53 DET: GP: 17, G: 3, A: 4, P: 7, +/-: 0, H: 7
TOT: GP: 44, G: 10, A: 10, P: 27, +/-: 3, H: 35
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF CAREER STATS
S50 FIN: GP: 12, G: 3, A: 1, P: 4, +/-: -4, H: 1
S51 FIN: GP: 12, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: -2, H: 5
S52 FIN: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -3, H: 3
S53 FIN: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: -8, H: 1
S54 FIN: GP: 12, G: 3, A: 2, P: 5, +/-: -3, H: 0
S55 FIN: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 5, P: 6, +/-: -5, H: 2
S56 FIN: GP: 12, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: -2, H: 0
S57 FIN: GP: 12, G: 5, A: 4, P: 9, +/-: -6, H: 0
S58 FIN: GP: 12, G: 5, A: 8, P: 13, +/-: -6, H: 4
S59 FIN: GP: 12, G: 3, A: 3, P: 6, +/-: -3, H: 12
S60 FIN: GP: 12, G: 11, A: 4, P: 15, +/-: 12, H: 12
S61 FIN: GP: 14, G: 7, A: 10, P: 17, +/-: 10, H: 12
S62 FIN: GP: 15, G: 6, A: 8, P: 14, +/-: 8, H: 8
S63 FIN: GP: 13, G: 4, A: 4, P: 8, +/-: 6, H: 6
TOT: GP: 174, G: 50, A: 55, P: 105, +/-: -6, H: 66
------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/HONOURS:
S52: 1st Team All SMJHL
S52: Jared Hanson Trophy (SMJHL Points Leader)
S52: Roberto Martucci Trophy (SMJHL Goals Leader)
S52: Raymond Lindsay Trophy (SMJHL Players MVP)
S52: Ideen Fallah Trophy (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP)
S53: 1st Team All SMJHL
S53: Ron Bolt Trophy (SMJHL Most Sportsmanlike)
S53: Four Star Cup champion (Detroit Falcons)
S59: Challenge Cup champion (Texas Renegades)
S60: Jeff Dar Trophy Nominee
S60: All SHL 3rd Team
S60: SHL All-Star
S61: IIHF Bronze Medal (Finland)
S61: SHL All-Star
S62: Ron Mexico (MVP) Nominee
S62: All SHL 2nd Team
S62: IIHF Gold Medal (Finland)
S62: SHL All-Star
S63: SHL All-Star
S64: SHL All-Star
S64: IIHF Gold Medal (Finland)
------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSACTIONS:
S50: Drafted 8th overall by Detroit Falcons
S51: Drafted 31st overall by Texas Renegades (GM Pick)
S51: Signed ELC with Texas, 3 seasons @ 8 mil
S54: Signed extension with Texas, 3 seasons @ 9 mil
S57: Signed extension with Texas, 3 seasons @ 12 mil
S60: Signed extension with Montreal, 2 seasons @ 8 mil
S62: Signed extension with Montreal, 1 season @ 4 mil
S62: Traded to Philadelphia Forge
S63: Signed extension with Philadelphia, 1 season @ 6 mil
S64: Signed extension with Philadelphia, 1 season @ 5 mil
S65: Signed extension with Philadelphia, 1 season @ 5 mil
S66: Signed extension with Philadelphia, 1 season @ 4 mil
S67: Signed as Free Agent with Buffalo, 2 seasons @ 8 mil
------------------------------------------------------------


DANIEL KARLSSON | RETIRED
NAME: Daniel Karlsson
BIRTHPLACE: Los Angeles, California
HEIGHT: 6'2"
WEIGHT: 210 lbsNUMBER: 7
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S42 TEX: GP: 1, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
S43 TEX: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 22, P: 26, +/-: -11, H: 73
S44 TEX: GP: 50, G: 8, A: 24, P: 32, +/-: 4, H: 64
S45 TEX: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 32, P: 38, +/-: 8, H: 60
S46 TEX: GP: 50, G: 5, A: 19, P: 24, +/-: -9, H: 55
S47 TEX: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 29, P: 38, +/-: -7, H: 117
S48 TEX: GP: 50, G: 17, A: 32, P: 49, +/-: 1, H: 41
S49 TEX: GP: 19, G: 7, A: 8, P: 15, +/-: 0, H: 17
S49 SFP: GP: 31, G: 6, A: 20, P: 26, +/-: 6, H: 93
TOT: GP: 351, G: 62, A: 186, P: 248, +/-: -8, H: 520
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S43 TEX: GP: 0, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S40 STL: GP: 50, G: 3, A: 12, P: 15, +/-: 2, H: 58
S41 STL: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 31, P: 35, +/-: 7, H: 53
S42 STL: GP: 50, G: 1, A: 26, P: 27, +/-: -9, H: 59
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S40 STL: GP: 5, G: 1, A: 2, P: 3, +/-: 0, H: 4
S41 STL: GP: 4 G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, H: 3
S42 STL: DNQ
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF CAREER STATS
S41 USA: GP: 10, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: 1, H: 0
S42 USA: GP: 10, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -1, H: 12
S43 USA: GP: 10, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
S44 USA: GP: 10, G: 1, A: 5, P: 6, +/-: 6, H: 7
S45 USA: GP: 10, G: 1, A: 6, P: 7, +/-: 7, H: 17
S46 USA: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 4, P: 5, +/-: 8, H: 12
S47 USA: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 4, P: 5, +/-: 5, H: 26
S48 USA: GP: 12, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 1, H: 18
TOT: GP: 86, G: 4, A: 20, P: 24, +/-: 27, H: 92

------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/HONOURS:
S43: Named to SHL All-Rookie Team
S44: Ranked #74 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSACTIONS:
S40: Drafted 1st overall by St. Louis Scarecrows
S41: Drafted by Texas Renegades (GM Rule)
S41: Signed ELC with Texas Renegades, 3 years @ 1.5 mil
S44: Signed extension with Texas Renegades, 3 years @ 9 mil
------------------------------------------------------------


SVEN KARLSSON | C | RETIRED
NAME: Sven Karlsson
BIRTHPLACE: Örnsköldsvik, Sweden
HEIGHT: 6'3"
WEIGHT: 210 lbs
NUMBER: 28
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S26 POR: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 16, P: 25, +/-: -1, H: 6
S27 POR: GP: 50, G: 11, A: 15, P: 26, +/-: -20, H: 13
S28 LAP: GP: 50, G: 7, A: 25, P: 32, +/-: 6, H: 43
S29 LAP: GP: 50, G: 16, A: 27, P: 43, +/-: -4, H: 3
S30 LAP: GP: 50, G: 15, A: 20, P: 35, +/-: -12, H: 5
S31 LAP: GP: 49, G: 11, A: 21, P: 32, +/-: -3, H: 42
S32 TOR: GP: 51, G: 16, A: 24, P: 40, +/-: 10, H: 32
S33 TOR: GP: 50, G: 14, A: 13, P: 27, +/-: 7, H: 13
S34 TOR: GP: 50, G: 15, A: 29, P: 44, +/-: 6, H: 42,
S35 TEX: GP: 50, G: 13, A: 29, P: 42, +/-: 9, H: 48,
S36 TEX: GP: 50, G: 11, A: 35, P: 46, +/-: 5, H: 28,
S37 TEX: GP: 50, G: 16, A: 21, P: 37, +/-: 2, H: 28,
S38 TEX: GP: 50, G: 19, A: 25, P: 44, +/-: 13, H: 18,
S39 TEX: GP: 50, G: 15, A: 36, P: 51, +/-: 17, H: 36,
S40 TEX: GP: 50, G: 22, A: 26, P: 48, +/-: 12, H: 13,
TOT : GP: 750, G: 210, A: 362, P: 572, +/-: 35, H: 358
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S26 POR: DNQ
S27 POR: DNQ
S28 LAP: DNQ
S29 LAP: DNQ
S30 LAP:  DNQ
S31 LAP: DNQ
S32 TOR: DNQ
S33 TOR: GP: 11, G: 4, A: 7, P: 11, +/-: 4, H: 7
S34 TOR: GP: 7, G: 1, A:5, P: 6, +/-: 2, H: 13,
S35 TEX: GP: 6, G: 2, A: 1, P: 3, +/-: -7, H: 2,
S36 TEX: GP: 16, G: 4, A: 9, P: 13, +/-: -1, H: 8,
S37 TEX: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: -4, H: 4,:
S38 TEX: DNQ
S39 TEX: DNQ
S40 TEX: GP: 0, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
TOT : GP: 44, G: 11, A: 24, P: 35, +/-: -6, H: 34
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S25 DET: GP: 32, G: 5, A: 8, P: 13, +/-: -11, H: 14
TOT : GP: 32, G: 5, A: 8, P: 13, +/-: -11, H: 14
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S25 DET: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -3, H: 2
TOT: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -3, H: 2
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF CAREER STATS

------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/HONOURS:
S26: Made SHL Debut for Portland Admirals
S26: Made IIHF Debut for Team Sweden
S27: Named as alternate captain of Portland Admirals
S27: Won IIHF Silver Medal
S28: Won IIHF Gold Medal
S28: Ranked #85 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S29: Named as alternate captain of Los Angeles Panthers
S29: Won IIHF Gold Medal
S29: Ranked #64 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S30: Ranked #78 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S31: Stripped of LAP alt. captaincy
S31: Suspsended for a game for unsportsmanlike conduct
S31: Ranked #74 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S32: Ranked #46 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S33: Ranked #90 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S34: Named as alternate captain of Toronto North Stars
S34: Ranked #63 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S35: Won IIHF Silver Medal
S35: Ranked #56 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S36: Challenge Cup champion (Texas Renegades)
S36: Ranked #60 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S37: Ranked #46 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S38: Ranked #52 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S39: Ranked #20 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S40: Named Head GM of Texas Renegades
------------------------------------------------------------
GM AWARDS/HONOURS
S41: Won Lance Uppercut Award (Best GM)
S41: Won Joe McKeil Award (Best Coach)
------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSACTIONS:
S25: Signed by Detroit Falcons as UDFA
S26: Drafted 15th overall by Portland Admirals
S26: Signed ELC with Portland Admirals, 3 years @ 9 mil
S28: Traded from Portland Admirals to Los Angeles Panthers
S28: Signed extension with Los Angeles Panthers, 5 years @ 17.5 mil
S32: Traded from Los Angeles Panthers to Toronto North Stars
S33: Signed extension with Toronto North Stars, 2 years @ 15 mil
S35: Traded from Toronto North Stars to Texas Renegades
S35: Signed extension with Texas Renegades, 3 years @ 15 mil
S38: Signed extension with Texas Renegades, 3 years @ 18 mil
------------------------------------------------------------

What?

He literally has Sophia Bennett and Anastasia O'Koivu listed in these ranks. Probably more I didn't see.

You're fine Sweg. OP goofed.

i havent filtered out anybody, because this is a shitpost and that requires effort.

hopefully soon in the future i will

Thanks to JSS for the signature

Dick Clapper | LW | Hamilton Steelhawks | Team Canada 'A' | 2105 TPE Peak
Birthplace: Canada
Height: 6' 4"
Weight: 220 lbs
Number: 13

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

SHL Career Statistics:
S47 | NEW | 50 GP | 12 G | 9 A | 21 P | -1 | 3 PPP | 2 PIM  | 11 H

S48 | NEW | 50 GP | 14 G | 25 A | 39 P | +8 | 5 PPP | 0 PIM  | 12 H

S49 | NEW | 50 GP | 17 G | 22 A | 39 P | +11 | 4 PPP | 6 PIM  | 12 H

S50 | NEW | 50 GP | 20 G | 14 A | 34 P | +1 | 3 PPP | 0 PIM  | 6 H

S51 | NEW | 50 GP | 16 G | 20 A | 36 P | -2 | 9 PPP | 2 PIM  | 5 H

S52 | NEW | 50 GP | 24 G | 23 A | 47 P | +9 | 11 PPP | 2 PIM  | 13 H

S53 | NEW | 50 GP | 18 G | 35 A | 53 P | +46 | 15 PPP | 6 PIM  | 65 H

S54 | NEW | 50 GP | 21 G | 23 A | 44 P | +14 | 12 PPP | 8 PIM  | 58 H

S55 | HAM | 50 GP | 28 G | 37 A | 65 P | +28 | 15 PPP | 12 PIM  | 98 H

S56 | HAM | 50 GP | 26 G | 32 A | 58 P | +46 | 10 PPP | 4 PIM  | 81 H

S57 | HAM | 66 GP | 28G | 40 A | 68 P | +28 | 21 PPP | 14 PIM | 72 H

S58 | NEW | 33 GP | 13 G | 11 A | 24 P | -8 | 8 PPP | 27 PIM | 90 H

S58 | BUF | 29 GP | 10 G | 18 A | 28 P | +29 | 1 PPP | 4 PIM | 62 H

S59 | ATL | GP | G | A | P | | PPP | PIM | H
─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

SHL Playoffs Statistics:

S49 | NEW | 15 GP | 4 G | 8 A | 12 P | +4 | 2 PPP | 0 PIM | 4 H

S53 | NEW | 11 GP | 4 G | 6 A | 10 P | +3 | 4 PPP | 0 PIM | 8 H

S55 | HAM | 12 GP | 3 G | 5 A | 8 P | -5 | 0 PPP | 0 PIM | 19 H

S56 | HAM | 18 GP | 10 G | 11 A | 21 P | +6 | 5 PPP | 0 PIM | 28 H

S57 | HAM | 14 GP | 8 G | 10 A | 18 P | +5 | 5 PPP | 4 PIM | 24 H

S58 | BUF | 21 GP | 8 G | 9 A | 17 P | +4 | 0 PPP | 8 PIM | 73 H

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
SMJHL Career Statistics:

S45 | KEL | 50 GP | 16 G| 14 A | 30 P | +6 | 6 PPP | 6 PIM  | 43 H
S46 | KEL | 50 GP | 20 G | 19 A | 39 P | +9 | 14 PPP | 8 PIM | 33 H
─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

SMJHL Playoffs Statistics:

S45 | KEL | 4 GP | 0 G | 0 A | 0 P | -2 | 0 PPP | 2 PIM | 1 H

S46 | KEL | 18 GP | 8 G | 6 A | 14 P | +7 | 5 PPP | 8 PIM | 11 H
─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

Transactions:
S45 | SMJHL Draft | Undrafted
S46 | SHL Draft | New England Wolfpack | 37th Overall

S55 | Trade | Hamilton Steelhawks | Blockbuster | It was huge

S58 | Trade | New England Wolfpack | Not a Blockbuster | Went back home

S58 | Trade | Buffalo Stampede | Cup Run | Lost in the finals

S59 | FA | Atlanta Inferno | Not a surprise | Everyone saw it coming

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

Trophies, Awards, and Medals:

S45 | WJC Silver

S46 | Laurifer Trophy

S46 | WJC Bronze

S49 | Presidents' Trophy

S49 | Mathias Chouinard Trophy

S50 | IIHF Bronze

S53 | Presidents' Trophy

S54 | IIHF Gold

S55 | 2nd Team All-Star

S55 | IIHF Bronze

S56 | Presidents' Trophy

S56 | Mathias Chouinard Trophy

S56 | Challenge Cup

S56 | IIHF Gold

S56 | Anton Razov Nomination

S57 | Presidents' Trophy

S57 | Mathias Chouinard Trophy

S57 | IIHF Gold

S57 | Anton Razov Nomination

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

Amazing how the female members who are listed aren't upset about relating to them and their imaginary size.
Where is the outrage for this thread?
Where is the outrage for... forget it.. who cares... I just find it ironic... oh right I don't know how to use the word ironic.

I’m sorry it’s so hard for you to understand how to please women.

This reply is going to give me the strength to make it through my work day

i knew @Slowpoke would be behind this in some way

He's usually in front of the SHL Player Erections

RIP Dangel. See you on the other side, brother

Excuse me I have many questions

I also want to take a minute to point out that if we took every team, combined all of the players into a single Megazord player, these are the results of who has the biggest Megazord dick....

Edmonton Blizzard 129.4478
Los Angeles Panthers 124.3901
Hamilton Steelhawks 123.9503
Minnesota Chiefs 123.2906
Manhattan Rage           122.9974
Calgary Dragons 120.7251
Texas Renegades 119.0392
Buffalo Stampede 117.7931
Chicago Syndicate 115.3009
Toronto North Stars 113.8349
New Orleans Specters 113.3951
Tampa Bay Barracuda 112.9553
New England Wolfpack 108.2641
Winnipeg Jets         108.0442
West Kendall Platoon 107.751
San Francisco Pride 107.3845

yeah, but we're at the top in the playoffs when it matters. #grownotshow