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Duff101 · 06-20-2021, 09:20 PM

Aww man hotdog this is worse than that time I had to do a mPT about music

It seems today
that all you see
Is violence in hockey and hits on tv
but where is that good old fashioned hockey
on which we used to rely

lucky there's a shutout toad
lucky there's a toad who
positively can do
all the things that make us
laugh and cry

he's
a
shut
out
toad

Credit to Geck, Ragnar and Juni for sigs

overdoo · 06-20-2021, 09:32 PM

What about a little edit of Pinball Wizard?

Ever since I was a young boy
I've played the stick and puck
From Detroit down to Tampa
I must have played 'em all
But I ain't seen nothing like him
In any abandoned barn
That built, smart, and young kid
Sure played a mean hockey

He stands on the blue line
Becomes part of the
Feeling all the hip checks
Always playing clean
He plays by intuition
The time clock slowly falls
That built, smart, and young kid
Sure played a mean hockey

Guriinwoodo · 06-20-2021, 09:56 PM

Somebody once told me QCC is gonna roll me.

St. Louis ain't the sharpest tool in the SHL.

Anchorage looking kinda dumb with a finger and a thumb in the shape, of an L, on it's forehead.

Well, the Champions cup ain't comin and Evok ain't running, something bout tools til you get forefront, Nor Dekes gets smart and Tyler Ward gets duumb

^-^

StamkosFan · 06-20-2021, 11:05 PM

Bon Jovi parody

We gotta hold on to the one goal lead,
It doesn’t make a difference if we coast or not,
We got a goalie and that’s a lot,
For hockey,
We’ll give it a shot.

Whoa we’re half way there,
Whoaaaa living on a save,
Ice the puck we’ll make it I swear.

Snuffalupagus · 06-21-2021, 12:01 AM

The itsy bitsy hockey player
dumped and ice the puck
up went the ref's arm
and then the play stopped.

Out came the first line
and scared the D-men
The itsy bitsy hockey player
will never ice again.

GoonerBear · 06-21-2021, 12:20 AM

I'mma get a starting spot in Manhattan
I probably shouldn't brag, but dag, I'm mad hattin'
The problem is I got a lot of grit but no battin'
I gotta score just to be seen
with every post ping, keepers flatten

StadiumGambler · 06-21-2021, 12:41 AM

(This is a parody off a Sportsnet or TSN jingle that actually existed I swear)

EDIT: here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G25oIRG41QQ)

OHHHHHHHH NO!
FIRE IT UP!
THE STAMPEDE WON'T WIN THAT SILVER CUUUUUUUUP!
(they ain't tough enough)
CAUSE THEY THINK ITS JUST A GAAAAAMMMMEEE!

Frostbite · 06-21-2021, 12:46 AM

The Strawberry Sailfish is the goat
He is the legend from the boat
The whalers never gave up on him
And now he's richer than Kim

Sailfish only takes dubs
He takes care of his team like cubs
He's now 300 TPE
And he's better than you and me

Strawberry Sailfish

***notorioustig*** · 06-21-2021, 12:54 AM

Before They Cheat by Carrie Underwood ft. Notorious T.I.G.

Right now, they're probably test simmin'
With a dartboard on the wall, probably got a Steelhawks logo
Right now, they're probably gettin' sweaty
'Cause a team of aggressive forecheckers is a no go
Right now, they're probably way behind the team they're tryin to beat
So they know they know they've gotta get low
They hope the league won't know

They dug a hole into the side of the centre slot on their third line
Carved their names into league infamy
Begged for forgiveness through the night
After trying to run Hammy off the site
Maybe next time they'll think before they cheat

Right now, they're probably up thinking of
When they nearly cheesed a cup in a game seven
Right now, they're probably stuck wondering
How they didn't cheat their way to sim heaven
Right now, they're probably tryin' to plan out
Who will take the fall when they try to take another go
They hope the league won't know

They dug a hole into the side of the centre slot on their third line
Carved their names into league infamy
Begged for forgiveness through the night
After trying to run Hammy off the site
Maybe next time they'll think before they cheat

They might cause a little trouble for the next HO
A-'cause the next time that they cheat
That'll make it three
Oh, that makes three

They dug a hole into the side of the centre slot on their third line
Carved their names into league infamy
Begged for forgiveness through the night
After trying to run Hammy off the site
Maybe next time they'll think before they cheat
Oh, maybe next time they'll think before they cheat
Oh, before they cheat
Oh oh

negs77 · 06-21-2021, 01:47 AM

I wrote a little tune called "Bjorn Bjorn Bjorn", inspired by the worldwide hit single "Hot Cross Buns"

Bjorn Bjorn Bjorn
Bjorn Bjorn Bjorn
One a puck and two a puck and
Bjorn Bjorn Bjorn

***KaleSalad*** · 06-21-2021, 02:16 AM

Somebody once told me the goons were gonna roll me
I ain't the toughest guy on the ice.
I was looking pretty dumb with my glove still on
as he had already dropped his to the ice.
Well the punches started coming and they didnt stop comming
Fed me shots till I hit the ice hurting
Your brain gets hurt but your head goes numb
so much to do, so much to see
So whats wrong with taking the high road?
You'll never know if you dont go'em
You'll never shine if you dont drop em.
Hey, now, your an all star get you game on, go play!

taterswc · 06-21-2021, 03:36 AM

Got some basic jingle bells...i mean hockey pucks

Dashing like a pro
On an open breakaway
Over the line I go
Grinning all the way
The goalies body shakes
When he understands the threat
What a sound that goal horn makes
When the puck goes in the net

Oh, hockey pucks, hockey pucks,
Hockey all the way
Oh, what fun is denied
When they get a takeaway
Oh, hockey pucks, hockey pucks,
Hockey all the way
Oh, what fun is denied
When they get a takeaway

This was a fantastic mPT btw. one of my favs

Mayuu · 06-21-2021, 03:46 AM

Vengaboys - Boom

Boom boom boom boom
Hippo's in the room
Let's spend the game together
My fights go on forever

Boom boom boom boom
I wanna go boom boom
Let's spend the game together
My stick looks like a broom

RETIRED

santej29 · 06-21-2021, 04:24 AM

Let the pucks hit the floor
Let the pucks hit the floor
Let the pucks hit the floor
Let the pucks hit the floor

Beaten, why for
Can't take much more
...Here we go, here we go, here we go now...

let in One goal, nothing wrong with me
let in Two goals, nothing wrong with me
let in Three goals,.. ok, something be wrong with me
Four!! are f'n kidding me!!??, coach pulled my sorry self now I'm on the bench.., because there IS in fact something wrong with me..

**RomanesEuntDomus** · 06-21-2021, 06:22 AM

The Offsiders - I'm Gonna Score (500 Goals)

When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who scores lots of goals on you,
When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who puts pucks right past you
When I retire, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whose goals will still haunt you
And when I haver, hey know I'm still gonna be
I'm still gonna be the man to score on you

And I would score 500 miles
And I would score 500 more
Just to be the man who scores a thousand goals
Right from at your door... step.

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