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Southie · 07-10-2020, 12:50 PM

TURG TURG - Canada

Team Canada

It's a shame that the first person I have to put on blast here is a fellow Boat Gang member. Turg's name really isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things but I can't help but think of a screaming Neathertdanl every time I see it. Just some guy in a lion singlet banging an antelope bone into the ground while screaming 'TURG TURG." as loud as he can. I think that capital letters that really make it seem ridiculous to me. A lot of players do this and it bugs the hell out of me for some reason.

Blunt Man - Russia

Team UCORCAL

Team UCORCAL has some pretty typical names on their list. Obviously Slimey Snail is a bit odd but he doesn't have the sheer brute impact that Blunt Man has on me. What I love about Blunt Man's name is that it's Blunt Man, not Blut Mann.

Grapefruit Lizard - World

Team World

You know your name has to be pretty special when you beat out such nomenclature luminaires are Name Redacted, Dwight Knight, and Jmac NCheese. Team World has some pretty questionable names on its roster but what's most awe-inspiring to me is that I don't think they're the worst named team in the tournament. That award goes to a very special team I'll talk about later.

Young Logo - Usa

Team USA

I'm not sure if Young Logo sounds like the name of a Soundcloud Rapper or the name of a character designed to mock Soundcloud Rappers. Either way, it's a weird name for a professional hockey player. Also, what happens when Young Logo is like forty-five? Does he legally get his name changed to Old Man Logo like Old Man Logan or does he keep the same name and hope nobody notices?

Lord Raiden - Usa

TEAM USA
Is this the World Junior Championship or the battle for the Earthrealm? I'm unsure if this is the actual Lord Raiden or just a guy whose parents met at an arcade in the early nineties. Either way, it's a crazy name. By the way, do you think frying your opponent with lightning is a four or six-game suspension? I'm curious.

Mega Tron -

Team Switzerland First off, Megatron sucks. Starscream was way more qualified to be the leader of the Decepticons and it sucks that he was never given that opportunity. I'm unaware if Team DACH plays Team USA this tournament but hopefully, we somehow get a showdown between Lord Raiden and Mega Tron which is the battle many six-year-olds in 1993 dreamed of.

Scoochie Stratton - Finland

Team Finland

Remember when I said I didn't think Team World has the weirdest name roster in the tournament? This is why. Team Finland has a pair of names so spectacularly odd that I essentially wrote this article just to talk about them. I don't know why I find Scoochie so funny. I'm not sure if it's the fact that it rhymes with coochie or the fact that it reminds me of Scratchy from Itchy and Scratchy but something about the name Scoochie just makes me laugh.

SLATT Potts - Finland

Team Finland

Let's break this name down for a minute. First, you've got SLATT in all capitals which is weird by itself. What sort of barbarian writes their name in all capitals? That's just uncivilized. Then you realize SLATT isn't a name as much as it is an acronym and it's an acronym for "Slime Love, All The Time." which has surprisingly nothing to do with furries who are into snails. It's actually rap slang I guess. I have no clue what this name is supposed to be. Because I understand SLATT is slang but I have no idea what Potts is. Is that just a regular surname? SLATT Potts is just a name that haunts my dreams. It also makes me think of a kid that just really loved Slime Time Live in the early 2000s.

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juke · 07-10-2020, 01:07 PM

***Jumbo*** · 07-10-2020, 01:09 PM

*Carpy48* · 07-10-2020, 01:12 PM

07-10-2020, 01:07 PMSmalinowski7 Wrote:

**Lime** · 07-10-2020, 01:53 PM

Strangest name you say?

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