[700-ish words ready for grading]

Clarence was asked to give his opinion on the SMJHL teams and where he would like to end up. But to be honest he's pretty oblivious to the current state and situation of all of the teams with a few exceptions, so he's ranking them based on the one thing that is right in front of him, their branding.

"I also want to say that this isn't to disrespect the teams that are ranked low. If I end up at one of those teams, that's great! I won't be any less of a player based on that. I'm just giving a ranking based on my personal taste. I'll play anywhere, really. A lot of hard work goes into designing these logos and color schemes and I would never want to dismiss the effort that was put in."

1. 


One of my friends Bodhi Utah used to play for them. It's my favorite logo, color scheme, the works. I loved it when it was first announced and I still love it. The uniforms are stellar too.

2. 


I did not expect this one to be so high. I'll admit, as my agent is a Montreal Militia alumni, I definitely raised my eyebrow when this brand was announced. But honestly, they've been the Kraken so long now it's almost like the Militia are an afterthought. This one has aged very well with me.

3. 


I love this logo and color scheme. I honestly don't know what else to say about it. As soon as this was announced I just thought "Wow, they nailed it." Of all the branding announcements over the years, only QCC have done it better in my opinion.

4. 


So this is another one I didn't expect to be so high. It was a huge improvement over the Firebirds, but the logo is just kind of there for me. It's nice and detailed, but what I really love are the uniforms. Wait, those are retired? Whatever, I'm not changing it.

5. 


So this obviously has similar vibes to San Francisco Pride, but I still appreciate it. This would probably be Joe Rogan's favorite brand. That elk looks super aggressive.

6. 


When this was first announce, the first thing I thought of was the St. Louis Rams in the 2000s. I still stand by that. But the Rams are my favorite football team (St. Louis and LA iterations), so putting this anywhere outside the top six just wasn't going to happen. The alternates are not my favorite but not my least favorite either.

7. 


I know it's been updated but it still feels like a classic and I appreciate everything it represents. Colors, logo, it all works. Well done.

8. 


This was another one I reacted, less than positively to, when it was announced. My agent's post successful player, Josef Kubinec, the one he won't shut up about, was a Raider, so when this was announced, it was odd. But it has grown on me over time and I appreciate it for what it is.

9. 


I absolutely love the colors and the uniforms, but the mascot? It's just not me. But this one is another classic.

10. 


Another classic but red has just never been an appealing color to me which is weird because the Capitals are my NHL team. I like the logo and branding well enough, and there are only so many colors to go around.

11. 


I'm sure all the toothpaste jokes have already been made so I will not do that. I heard this one got a little grief when it was announced but I don't see the big deal. This feels like if Williams F1 had a hockey team. It's fine.

12. 


Another one that I really like but the red just isn't for me. I feel like if I put their jersey on I would be 90% more likely to get in a fight. Maybe that's what they're going for. If so, well done.

13. 


I'm not a fan of the classics. I can't put my finger on what this one isn't higher. It's not bad at all. But it's not as good as the ones I really like.

14.


I don't even mind the colors or the uniforms, but that wolf just looks so sad, or boring. Like its name is probably "flour tortilla."

"Again, I don't want to offend anyone with these, just a personal ranking. I would just as happily play for Yukon as Quebec. Looking forward to watching the rest of the playoffs."

After Worley was done, or thought he was done, we informed him that he forgot two teams.

"This is awkward. Which two?"

15.

I forgot about this one. It's cool, I like bears. Brown not so much.

16.

Look I don't mind the blue at all but I don't love the Raptor. It's a very 90s look which is maybe what they were going for. Is their sponsor Surge?