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If they couldn't play hockey... WPG
#1
(This post was last modified: 01-21-2025, 07:56 AM by AuggieO.)

If the WPG (or WIN as I think is a better abbreviation) had to have jobs that were not hockey players in the SHL, what would they do? This is based on how much their names sound like someone who does that job.


Langston Hardison-Laurent: A french model. Is his name French? It sounds like it to me.


Johnny FourStar: A chef that makes really good food. Not possible to make it better than Sookie from GG but pretty good food I guess.


Yuri Boyka III: He’s a “the third”? Are you kidding me? He manages the family money in a trust or some old money job like philanthropist. 


NoNo Jo: Awesome and amazing president of the world because he is the most awesome most smartest and really good at everything baby.\


Baron Samedi: He gets disowned by his family at a young age but grows up to be a halfway decent car salesman, although none of his clients are able to remember the name “Baron”.


Hockey Player: Uhhh this is awkward. The best job for this person is obviously self titled but he can’t be that. So he will be a video game tester? Yeah, it sounds good.


Aksel VINSen: he is the person that sits in the back of the office coming up with unique VIN numbers for ALL the cars. He does Toyota, he does Honda, he does Tesla. He is your VIN man.


Juan Tymer: He works at a Chipotle and he is constantly trying to convince all the customers and his co-workers that they should add a little Thyme to their food. It’ll taste good… common just try it! Like a drug pusher but of food spice.



Ville Sato-Maki: Teaches people how to be ambidextrous. Mostly at the community center but he also has some private clients that he will meet at SBUX or Panera.


Pohler Beargeron: Works at the Zoo as a Bear keeper. He keeps all the bears actually. Black bears, Brown Bears, Polar Bears, Koala Bears, Honey Bears, Bear Gerons… etc. He likes his job.


Marcel Beck: A professor at a local state college. He teaches things related to subways and trains. He’s always liked subways and trains. Unfortunately, his students always give him subway gift cards and Train concert tickets at the end of the year and he only likes one of those things. Oh Well.


Noah Smith: He dresses up as a Noah Cyrus impersonator and attends birthday parties or other events in which people would require a Noah Cyrus impersonator. Not high in demand so he also is a barista. 


Boho Biscuit: A sales person at a unique boho chic store in a downtown of an artsy college town. Makes decent money from all the tourists buying souvenirs for their christmas and hanukkah presents this year.


Solaire of Astora: Got his start playing solitaire, and that is where he developed his love for cards. But there is not much money in Solitaire (don't let the ads fool you) so he took his love for cards, packed up and went to Vegas. Makes decent money gambling. He registered as a 10-00 worker I think.


Brendan Laroux: He is an official taste tester for a bubbly water company. His idea of “old hockey gear” did not make it far in trialing. 


Rhett “Shaggy” Carpet: A carpet sales person OBVIOUSLY. Specializing in shaggy carpets. I don’t know what else you were expecting here.


Tummy Hurts: Does not have a job. Complained in every interview that his “tummy hurts” and none of the bosses could see past that and take him as a professional worker. Sorry bud. Wish you could have been a SHL hockey player. 


Words- 613

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#2

Great work, made me laugh. And poor Tummy.

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#3
(This post was last modified: 01-21-2025, 10:24 AM by By-Tor. Edited 1 time in total.)

The mystery is which one does Beck not like: Subway or Train

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