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**.bojo** · 05-09-2020, 02:28 PM

Task 1
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[Image: det.png]

Task 2 Wrote:I think if Anchorage would have held off the late push by Kelowna at the end of the regular season, the Armada would have crushed Colorado before facing Kelowna. I think by the time we got to the second round, our coaching strategies would have been a lot more solidified, and essentially using Colorado as a stepping stone to figure out what needed to be done. In the regular season Anchorage swept the mountain boys 8-0, with only one close game coming from a shoot out. Kelowna would have had to fight a tough team that they already beat to get to the finals, but it could have swung either way. But with them coming off a tough battle, and us having a solid plan, we could have had a much better chance at making it to the finals. Detroit would have crushed whoever they faced, so it doesn't really matter what matchup switched over in the other side. Bird boys good.

Task 3
@JSS331 @Zombiewolf
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[Image: detkel.png]

Task 4 Wrote:bruh, is this even a real question how could a tiny little eagle wannabe doofus bird beat one of the finest most protected species in the world. Take the years of evolution of a human and add years of combat training and solid metal armor. uh, good luck bird with your wussy little beak trying peck anything. Oh those claws are real pointy ouch owie. Then SHIIING out comes the sword, that's right. What knight doesn't have some sort of bad ass weapon like a sword or hammer or even nun-chuks. Anyways, it's like rock paper scissor except the falcon is just paper and the knight is always rock that's on fire with swords sticking out of it.

Task 5 Wrote:Pojo Biscuit joined the Armada right before the trade deadline, joining the Alaskan squad thinking they had a good chance. Well, shit happens and oh well. But I never got a chance to really experience all that alaska has to offer. And in order to do that I need to get on a Disney Cruise, because visiting Alaska without some sort of guide is honestly a bit of a bummer. It's always raining, it's like the UK but really cold. Anyways, fjords and glaciers are always beautiful, and taking a plane ride in between them is a sight to see. Even landed in the middle of a huge lake with the plane, absolutely breath taking. Ate some of the best salmon you ever had, sitting beside a stream where you can see giant salmon swimming upstream. Getting the trip fully paid for by @Acsolap was truly amazing as part of the deal. He didn't give me his credit card, but I was able to get my hands on it. I think we both knew it was part of the deal to sign on to Anchorage.

**leafsftw1967** · 05-09-2020, 03:04 PM

Task #1
For the Newfoundland Berserkers first round playoff matchup against the St. Louis Scarecrows I would propose to give out Cale Amundsen bobble heads at the teams first home game (game three) to anyone who got tickets to the game or watching the game outside the stadium to get the crowd extra excited for playoff hockey. The reason I chose Cale was because he had been the team’s most valuable player during the regular season and would be a huge key to Newfoundland having success in the playoffs. He had established himself as one of the top rookie in the season fifty four SHL draft class and arguably was the best goaltender in the juniors this season.

Task #2
If Newfoundland somehow ended up finishing first in the east and played the Carolina Kraken then things would have been different and the Berserkers would have been moving on to the second round of the playoffs. In my opinion the Kraken would have had a very little chance at beating the Berserkers in a seven game series and were even lucky to squeak into the playoffs after being in a retooling mode this year.

On the other hand in this hypothetical scenario the Detroit Flacons would finished second and played the St. Louis Scarecrows in the first round where they would have totally dominated the Scarecrows. However, in my opinion nothing would have changed from the second round of the east to the finals as I still think the Falcons would have beaten the Berserkers and represented the east in the finals. The Falcons are too good of a team to beat this year and it is ultimately their championship to lose.

Task #3
Heading into the first round of the playoffs the talk around the Newfoundland Beserkers and St. Louis Scarecrows matchup was the goaltending duel that was going to take place between rookie Cale Amundsen and veteran send down Elizabeth Doyle. During the regular season Cale Amundsen led the juniors in shutouts with five while Doyle only had two. In terms of goals against average Amundsen had a 2.68 while Doyle had a slightly lower 2.64. However Cale had the better save percentage with a 0.919 (second best among goalies that played more then twenty regular season games) whereas Elizabeth had a 0.904 save percentage. Cale and Elizabeth had an equal amount of regular season wins with twenty one even though St. Louis had more points in the standings and Cale faced almost four hundred more shots than Elizabeth throughout the season. Overall comparing the numbers it looked like Newfoundland had the better goaltending in terms of numbers but still lost the series.

Task #4
A Knight would definitely beat a falcon in a one on one fight no questions asked. The reason for this is humans have always been superior to animals especially birds, let alone a human wearing lots of thick metal armor and that has a metal weapon. The knight is also a lot more mobile and has the ability to better critically think and react, as well as, anticipate a falcons moves before they even happen. In addition, flacons do not really have any sort of protective shielding like some other animals do with their shells and do not have any lethal weapons either than their claws.

Task #5
After losing to the St. Louis Scracrows in the first round of the playoffs I took some time to relax and process the season. It was nice spending some time with my family back home in Livi Ukraine as it is hard to visit or talk a lot during the season when I am on the other side of the world in a completely different time zone. After having some rest and relaxation, Mats Marner was revitalized and ready to prepare for the upcoming season fifty four SHL draft. Marner is hoping to be a first round pick and has been doing everything in his power to show that he is worth a high pick by training extra hard in the gym, promoting himself through the media, attending scouting combines and meeting with SHL team’s management groups. Marner has been back in Newfoundland doing all this and getting support and guidance from many of his Berserker teammates who are still around for the offseason.

GeckoeyGecko · 05-10-2020, 07:47 AM

1. Knights give away foam helmets, of course. Third game of the finals? Nice golden helmets for everyone. Theres some shiny bits in the foam so they look better, yaknow? Reports say that the helmets are quite warm, and make decent hats. I lied when i said everyone though, its a giveaway for the lower bowl and season ticket holders. For the upper bowl, they can be found in the team shop for about 10 bucks, which, all things considered, is a pretty good price. Will we see a shitton of foam helmets hit the ice after a hatty now? Who the fuck knows.

2. I doubt anything changes, really. The two teams we see in the finals kinda dominated, and do deserve to be here. I guess if you replayed the STL-DET series it might come out in STLs favour, with it going to 7, but that wouldnt really be because of the changed first round matchups. Anyhow, the most interesting series would probably be Kelowna - Anchorage, which would pit the early season powerhouse boats against the knights who are currently in the finals. While I dont doubt the Knights win this matchup as well, the boats would likely put up more of a fight than the raptors, who just kinda rolled over and died (sorry). Would newfoundland give the Falcons any trouble? for the sake of writing more I'll say yes, they took the crows to 7 and the crows took detroit to 7 so they could probably at least take the falcons to 6 right

3. Simon Takshak has probably taken steroids or something because the man has stopped sucking ass. It's quite shocking, really, to watch him go from a literal pylon on the ice to a literal pylon who somehow, someway, is out there scoring OT winners and averaging a point nearly every other game. Anyhow, if its not steroids, it could be advice he's gotten from somewhere - could it be Joseph Fantobens. fellow rookie, although one on the detroit falcons? Could it be Luca Del Vecchio, noted Kelowna mentor? Could it be the coach, Naosu? No, dont be silly, its steroids. Simon Takshak is on steroids, ones that gave him a better hockey iq. anyhow, we'll see if their miraculous depyloning effect holds up throughout the finals, which will likely test the steroid known as '13 stamina' to its very limits. -bird man, detroit.

4. Ok, here we go. Fight night (probably in detroit lets be honest) between a falcon and a knight. Now, I'm going to assume that this falcon is bloodlusted or its gonna just fuckin fly away like a big fuckin nerd. Either way though, the knight wins. The falcon just kinda has no way to get through the knights armor. While it might take a while for the knight to grab and beat the shit out of the falcon, it'll happen sooner or later, assuming our knight isnt some kinda giant pussy with a fear of falcons. That'd be silly.

5. What am I doing to prep for the draft? Same thing Im always doing, pestering GMs until they dont actually want me anymore. just kidding. I hope.

But as of right now, this draft seems more up in the air than most. Theres no real clear cut consensus first overall pick, and while many would take Mikkel asmus sondergaard first, past that is a complete mess. Rumour has it that Sawful (i cant remember his players name) is going 2nd, but I have no goddamn idea if thats true or not. I'll probably ask jaywhy whos going where be figuring out my mock draft using luke my vast multitude of insider sources over the day before the draft coming week or so. Simon Takshak 1oa though. You heard it here first folks, book it, simon takshak is going 1st overall to god knows who. I'm not sure that I've hit word count for this one yet so im leaving a filler sentence.

***Snussu*** · 05-10-2020, 02:38 PM

Task 1: If Berserkers would have made it in to the Finals and during the last game our team would have given away Clean Andrei Bobble head. It would have been given away to our most local fan and the biggest Andrei fan we could have found. The Bobble head would have had Andrei's iconic face, buzz cut, even having thumbs up! For jersey it would have been Russian IIHF Jersey with Berserkers logo in it. On the bottom of the Stand would have had a quote from Andrei. "Keep it clean and farm potatoes" I hope we can make this happen in the future!

Task 2: I don't think we had a problem in Match up in Round 1, We did our best against St. Louis and the simulation could have gone ether way. If we had an "easier" opponent we might have been able to make it to 2nd round. In 2nd round we might have had to play against St. Louis ether way so. I think if the match ups would have been St. Louis vs Detroit, Newfoundland vs Carolina, Kelowna vs Armanda and Colorado vs Anaheim would might have seen scores of something like this. STL vs DEt 3-4, NL vs CAR 4-2, KEL vs ARM 4-3 and COL vs ANA 1-4. 2nd round match ups would have been DET vs KEL and NL vs ANA. I think DET would have still went a head and won the series and advanced to Finals, but NL vs ANA would have gone to game 7 ann NL would have won 4-3 the series. The Finals game would have gone to DET ofc, but NL would have put up a fight and gone to Game 7 too!

Task 3: WELCOME! To this weeks installment of SMJHL News! In this weeks installment we take a look at the long awaited playoffs and match ups! Today we are taking a closer look at Newfoundland Berskeres and their Cinderella like story leading up to here. Definitely one of the more underrated teams in SMJHL right now. And from the team were a looking at their Rookie Defense man from Finland playing in the 1st Defense man pairing along with his fellow country man Jukka Timonen. This weeks player of the week is TINKE JUTILA! He excels at defending and is devoted into becoming the best shutdown type defenseman in the league. Some stats from his stellar regular season includes Defensive Game Rating average of 81 Being top 5 of the league (AS A ROOKIE), Being in the top 2 of the league with 130 Shot Blocked and playing unheard 23.28 minutes per game! This all was possible because of his trust line mate Jukka Timonen!

Task 4: A fight between an Falcon and Knight. Hmm. I think if we equipped the Falcon with iron claws and armor he would win because he would have the advantage of speed, height and accuracy compered to the Knight. Knight usually have big bulky armor and they are slow and swing a sword. I think this would make him a prime target for the Falcon. Falcon could just fly in, knock him down, Maybe get helmet off, And fly off while the Knight is getting back up, the Falcon would strip the Knight of his Sword, making him even more vulnerable to the Falcons attacks

Task 5: The off season is a time of resting for me, I'm going to tell my Team mates to have a good off season, go to the Draft combine and actual draft, After that I will see with the Team executives and talk about my future with the team and salary. After all that I will go back to Finland and rest, Go to our Mökki, Use a lot of Sauna and maybe even drink some. Hangout with Friends, Fish, Go to Festivals all that usual shit. Maybe even invite some of my dear friends from Berserkers over to Finland. Jukka for sure, Cale my trust net minder, Ever so funny Andrei (we need to have a drinking competition), Probably ask SLATT Potts to come, but he seems to be busy with his other interests as of now. Maybe even ask our lovely GMs and Mentors unless they have other plans for offseason

Matty7478 · 05-10-2020, 02:46 PM

Task #1 - PBE Affiliate PT

Task #2 - The first round of the SMJHL playoffs in the East saw the following matchips: the Kraken vs. the Outlaws, and the Berserkers vs. the Scarecrows. In my opinion, I don't feel that the majority of the results would be massively different were the team matchups to be changed. In the east, any team that would have to face the Detroit Falcons would very likely lose, no matter the situation. Even though the Scarecrows nearly pulled off the upset in the 2nd round, I doubt they could actually pull it off in the 1st round should they have faced then. And on the opposite, any team that would face the Kraken would likely win, as the Kraken did not impress as much as other teams during the season and in their short playoff appearance against the Falcons. In terms of the Berserkers and the Scarecrows, the home form of the Berserkers could've proved to be a game changer had they come into a tie as the top seed. It wouldn't be hyperbole to say - as a higher seed - the Berserkers could've found their Cinderella run continuing due to this extra home advantage. However, that is not how it would work out in reality.

Task #3 - The Battle of the Goalies - Amundsen vs. Doyle
The first round match-up between the Newfoundland Berserkers and the St. Louis Scarecrows sees a battle between 2 fantastic goaltender prospects, as Newfoundland favourite Cale Amundsen - after a sensational rookie campaign - steps up to the plate to face off against Elizabeth Doyle. This gives us an opportunity to answer the question many people have been asking; just how good has Amundsen been this season? Amundsen has been called upon to play more than Doyle this season (43 vs 38), but with that has given up more goals on average (2.68 vs 2.64). However, on the other hand, Amundsen has earned 5 shutouts this year, better than the 2 Doyle has put up during the same span. And it is unquestionable that the GAA is impacted by the team in front of these top players, as is shown by the save rates of the 2 players; Amundsen has a save percentage of 0.919, while Doyle has a save percentage of 0.904. Overall, the Game Ratings say everything you need to know. Amundsen - with an average Game Rating of 74 - has impressed everyone and been better as an individual than Doyle, who sports a 67 average Game Rating. Will this dominance be enough to carry the Berserkers through this tough series? We will have to see.

Task #4 - This is a very easy question to answer. Sure, a falcon has those very very sharp talons, and has the advantage over the knight in that the knight is very much attached to the ground. Their main attack, the stoop, is also a very dangerous move; in this move, the falcon rises up to a high altitude, and dive bombs their target at up to speeds of 200 mph. This is great for the falcon, but the knight undoubtedly has the advantage. With a level of armour the falcon will struggle to get through, along with weaponry that the falcon cannot compete with - such as, you know, a big sword - if the knight has the training that is necessary to fight correctly, then the battle may be over quicker than anyone may expect or even realise.

Task #5 - Matthew Forrester had a somewhat successful rookie season in the SMJHL as part of the Newfoundland Berserkers. In a league full of more experienced players and teams with much higher TPE rates, the Berserkers finished above .500 in the regular season to the surprise of most pundits, and were unluckily bounced out of the playoffs by the St. Louis Scarecrows. As the first line centre for the Berserkers, Forrester had to deal with many bouts of fatigue as the season rolled on. So, during this offseason, the majority of the work he does will be centred on training his physical attributes. In terms of on-ice skills, he believes he is already on the path to being a good player in that area. However, his physicality was lacking as the games became more important to win. Outside of this work on physicality, Forrester will be keeping in touch with SHL teams, as the road to the SHL Draft shortens. He has no early idea how his draft may go, but he hopes it will provide a great avenue to grow naturally into the SHL as time goes on.

Frostbite · 05-10-2020, 11:41 PM

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Task #4 - Who would win in a fight between an actual falcon and a knight? All variables for said fight are up to your discretion.

I believe that a real life Knight would beat a real Falcon in a battle. A real Knight has armor that a bird would not even be able to penetrate, and while a Falcons is very fast, it would have to have spray paint on its wings in order to fit the red bird shape of the Falcons silhouette. The Knight also has a large sword, and assuming he is a talented knight and not some crazy person they picked off the side of the street, he would be able to slice the Falcon out of the air fairly easily. The Falcons would stand no chance against a monstrous knight with elite skills.

PBE Affiliate

moonlight · 05-11-2020, 03:38 AM

2. NSFL PT

MegaSkuci · 05-11-2020, 07:14 PM

Task 1
We all know that Vítek Víteček is a clutch player, who can slay the Falcons seconds before the game ends. I think we should get T-shirts with Vítek's head, where he is literally biting a Falcon with a one-second timer right next to it. I think that would be really cool. Giveaway would be every time Vítek scores a clutch goal against Falcons(so basically any of his games against Falcons)
I'm not sure what base color should the T-shirt use, but red or orange would be fine. Red for a bloody Falcon and Orange for Kraken obviously. Orange is probably the more logical choice here.
Task 2

Well obviously slaying the Falcons isn't the easiest task and even though Vítek tried his best it wasn't enough. I think that if you would match up Carolina against any other team they could easily make to round 2. They were really hot coming into the playoffs, but they needed more points to avoid facing Falcons. I think that Carolina would have a real shot then. They could get even more updates in, which would mean an even bigger chance to defeat Detroit and then whoever they would face in the finals. Too bad for Carolina that they had to go up against the best team in the league. They definitely deserved to win a game or two. I don't see much change with any other teams, and I'm not really familiar with those matchups, so I just describe Kraken. Next year if they face Detroit again, it's gonna be a much different story.

Task 3

I will once again talk about Vítek. He is that good and deserves the spotlight obviously. He is an exceptional player, just wait for the next season, you can try to count the goals with me, I can't even count up to that number. I would make a graphic for this, but unfortunately, I can't make any, so I'll just make this amazing article. The matchup is Vítek vs Falcons. He is PPG against them. Yes! PPG! And no! Not only in the playoffs(which considering Kraken didn't win a single match is quite impressive.) But in the regular season also! When we talk Vítek, we talk someone who can destroy the Falcons. We will be able to see that in the next season. He probably already is, and if he isn't, then for sure he will be next season Detroit's worst nightmare. Vítek scored almost a third of his career points against the Falcons. Sound unbelievable? Check it yourself.

Task 4

Now, this is an interesting question. For real, this has a lot of viewpoints. All Falcons fans will tell you, that there is no chance knight is winning. Every Knights fan will tell you, that knight is a 100% winner. Guess what? This is where Vítek comes in once again. The only thing that could ever beat a falcon, whether it's on ice, or an actual falcon is Vítek Víteček. He is the FALCON SLAYER. Well obviously, if Vítek would ever be a knight, then there is your answer, that is the ONLY chance for a knight to win a fight against a falcon. Vítek hunts actual Falcons in his freetime, which is his training against Detroit Falcons team.

Task 5
As already mentioned, Vítek is working hard to be better than ever(if that's even possible). In his free time he hunts actual falcons to retain his Falcon slayer nickname. From the money he is making right now he bought a huge garden, where the falcons are. It's basically like a golf course. There is a place where he starts the round, and he's trying to hit the falcons. Well... He doesn't have a golf club but a hockey stick and a hockey puck. This is why Vítek has a really accurate shot. And this is also why Vítek can play against the Falcons so well. It's his sixth sense. The Falcon slayer sense. Obviously he has to prepare against other teams also, this is where normal ice hockey practice comes in. When he is not training, then he's most likely spending time playing a computer game called "Falcon age." Detroit, you better be ready.

DaftRaincloud · 05-11-2020, 09:07 PM

Task 1

During their round one matchup the Anchorage Armada produced bobbleheads of the best player on the team, Thorbjörn Gunnarson. This bobblehead, however, is unique in that it is to scale with the real Thorbjörn and weighed so much since it was made out of cast iron that most people were unable to take it from the arena. The bobbleheads were so unstable on their bases that as the head moved there was a chance that the entire thing would topple over, crushing anyone and anything that had the misfortune to be standing below. There were many fatalities on Gunnarson bobblehead night. Also they were painted with lead paint.

Task 2

If the round one matchup was the Armada versus the Maine Timber I'm pretty sure we would have beat them pretty easily because the Timber were really bad this season. In fact I personally believe that if the Armada had the luxury of playing the Maine Timber to determine if they won each playoff series instead of having to play against different teams each time for some reason that it's possible they would have swept their way all the way to a cup win. In fact I am so sure of this that I think that SMJHL HO should allow the Armada to play next season's playoffs in this manner to see if my hypothesis is correct.

Task 3

Task 4

There are many variables that go into this hypothetical death match, but I personally am putting my money on the knight. The main method of attacks that the falcon has at it's disposal are it's talons and it's beak. Medieval knights wore heavy armor made of iron or steel, and even if they were only wearing chainmail instead of a full breastplate I believe it would be sturdy enough to stop the attacks of the falcon. While it may be difficult for the knight to land a solid blow against the falcon with his sword, spear, or other weapon of choice I don't believe there is ever an eventuality where the falcon is able to get past his armored defenses and actually land a fatal blow. In a war of attrition the knight will eventually be able to damage the falcon and defeat it.

Task 5

Thorbjörn is an average guy with average guy interests. As soon as his season was over he hopped in his car and headed off to the airport where he boarded a plane to Japan. It was his mission to collect as many anime statues as possible and bring them back to his apartment to show his good friend Gabriel Johnson and that was just what he was planning to do. He had brought three empty suitcases to fill with the statues once he got them, and plenty of bubblewrap to keep his waifus safe on the long plane ride back to Alaska. During the season he spent as little of his contract money as possible in preparation for this trip. Once he got drafted into the SHL and found a landing spot where he could put his feet down he would make sure that he had hundreds if not thousands of anime statues to decorate his home with and give it a real down to earth cozy type of atmosphere.

*JURT* · 05-12-2020, 03:30 PM

#1
The first 200 kids to go through the doors of the inGEN Center on their first home game of the playoffs this Tuesday, February 4th, will be given a raptor egg. Once put in water for a whole night, these eggs will hatch, revealing a raptor toy of one of the three main Raptors' colors. The children are encouraged to bring back the toy to the arena on the following game night, which will be on the following Friday, February 7th. When presenting the hatched dinosaur toy on that night, they vill receive a signed hockey card of a Raptors' player : Simothy Drunkbird for blue dinosaurs, Bryce Turner for yellow ones and Sven Svenson for white ones.

#2
Round one would have been really different if the matchups were changed, especially for the Raptors. Obviously, they would not have stood much chance no matter who their opponents were, as they came in fourth place in the West, and far beyond third. However, Kelowna was the worst of all teams for them to face in the first round. Of all their struggles this season, the games against the Knights were always the hardest for the Raptors. It was no different during this short first-round, were Kelowna swept Colorado without much of a challenge. A series against the Anchorage Armada or the Anaheim Outlaws might have proven a bit better for the Raptors. Of course, winning these series would have taken a tremendous effort and a good deal of luck, and they probably would not have won those either, but they at least could have tried to manage one or two wins, and maybe even force a game seven against the Outlaws.

#3

#4
A knight who has lost is armor is no true knight, so we will assume that the knight in this situation is indeed wearing his. The falcon is thus not able to pierce the armor of the knight, while a single swing of the sword can chop him into two juicy halves, to be cooked on the knight's campfinre that night. However, just as he is about to strike, the knight realizes this is not any falcon, it's the King's falcon. His Grace is out hawking. He cannot strike him down and must yield under the repetitive attacks of the falcon.

#5
Now that the season is over, I'm getting bored easily. I'm very sad that there's no hockey anymore, but at least I have a secondary passion : dinosaurs. I must admit that I learned a lot about velociraptors this year, and they might have become my all-time favorite kind of dinosaurs. I'd say they're tied with the pterodactyl because let's be honest, pterodactyl rule. Flying is awesome, but the velociraptor are hands down the best land dinosaurs. I recently went to the Skyline Drive just outside of Cañon City to take a look at some ankylosaurus tracks from up high. Even from there, you could see the gigantic footprints that these magnificient beasts left on the ground over a hundred million years ago. Sure, the ankylosaurus is only a top-10 dinosaur, but it was still very impressive, I felt closer to them watching these tracks than I felt in any other dinosaur monument so far in Colorado

Renomitsu · 05-13-2020, 02:23 PM

Task #1
A tiny combined figurine featuring Alex Petrenko carrying a bewildered, overwhelmed Emilia Bergman in a fireman’s carry will be given away at Anaheim’s opening Regular Season game at the start of next season. It shows an only somewhat exaggerated Petrenko with extremely large muscles and a back brace (from putting the defense on his back of course), with the rest of the defense represented by Bergman. Naturally, such an accurate and valuable figurine will be delivered only to the most devoted of fans – which is why it’ll be in limited but reasonable supply (1,000) and given to the first 1,000 fans to enter the stadium. People who ship Petrenko x Bergman are not allowed.

Task #2
I think the teams in the Western Conference remain the same in round 2 unless Anaheim is forced to face Kelowna. The Anchorage-Anaheim series was extremely close, but even with home ice advantage (and my player dying after 45 minutes on the ice in a double OT game), we managed to squeak out the needed victories against Anchorage. Otherwise, I think Kelwona had a reasonable advantage over my Outlaws, and would have also similarly beaten both the Armada and Raptors. Again, if the Outlaws faced the Knights in round 1, it’d probably be the Armada vs. Knights, which the Knights would have some small advantage in (though the series could go 6 or 7 games).

I feel mostly the same way about the east. The Falcons beat whoever they face in the first round – even if it isn’t the same beat down they gave Carolina. They’d soundly beat the Berserkers and, even though St. Louis was an excellent team that took the Falcons to the limit, they would still probably lose in the first round if they were to face Detroit.

Task #3
Okay, I know you said “magazine style article” and I assume that meant finals-relatedbut I’m going to take it totally the other direction and go with a TMZ-style nonsense filler thing.

DOES BERGMAN PLAY FOR BOTH TEAMS?
Los Angeles, CA – You’re not going to believe this.

On multiple occasions this summer, Anaheim Outlaws rookie defensewoman Emilia Bergman has been seen joined to the hip with a few potential paramours after her team was ousted from the SMJHL playoffs last week. She became a SoCal fave this season after playing literally dozens of shifts for the Outlaws in single games, including one forty-five minute game in the playoffs this season, where she ‘zonked out’ on the bus ride back. And although she’s been shipped with linemate Alex Petrenko for most of the season, check out those recent pics of her with USC cutie and sprinting star Sara Wagner [pics not actually attached, I’m not that good at graphics]!

And this European power couple – Wagner’s from Austria, of course – aren’t just any two sports strangers. They were caught both in Anaheim and on the USC campus on a romantic morning run in the middle of hockey season. Is this a platonic relationship, or does Emilia really both for both sides?

Task #4
Since this is more likely to happen in a fantasy setting, I’m going to suppose the knight is a mid-level (let’s say 8th) paladin while the falcon is more like a roc from the D&D worlds. Naturally, the Roc has something like 28 strength and 20 constitution – far more than the paladin – while the paladin could theoretically have healing in the form of lay on hands, as well as special abilities like Divine Smite and a couple of support spells. Furthermore, the paladin would be better-trained with sword and shield than bows, but is capable of switching to fight the roc. The Roc gets three attacks per turn (one beak and two talons/grapple), which likely means the roc would have a significant attack and damage advantage. Unless the paladin pulls something gimmicky, I give the win to the falcon/roc here.

Can you smell what the Roc is cookin’!?

Task #5
Emilia was initially going to hop right back into things when Anaheim lost their series against Kelowna. But after realizing just how minutes she’d played – and just how sore she was as a result – she decided to give herself a short break to reset and get back into a rapid-improvement mind set that served her so well last season. Some noted that she spent multiple hours a day in the sauna or in spas for the first few days after the series and came out looking completely refreshed and renewed. She’s spent a bit of the summer with the Wagner siblings (Jimmy and Sara), who she’d interacted on-and-off with during the regular season and also welcomed some cousins and friends from Jonkoping (her hometown) to check out her place in Anaheim. She’s also infrequently and uncharacteristically been shrugging off some social engagements – even while others are out partying – to discuss matters with some general managers and staff around the league. Don’t forget sleep – she needs that more than most other things right now!

JHS · 05-13-2020, 05:44 PM

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Task #1 - Create a fan giveaway item to be handed out at one of your team's playoff games (can be a rally towel, foam finger, bobble head, etc.)
Requirements:
- WRITTEN: Write a 100 word blurb about the item, including details on the game where the item will be given out.
- GRAPHIC: Include a picture of the item and at least one SMJHL logo; must look like you at least kinda tried.
At the Maine Timber’s next playoff game, an item will be made using one of the hallmarks of the team: A large pine tree. The item will be a plushy tree with eyes, a mouth and a Maine Timber jersey, and will be given to the first thousand fans who enter the arena. Unfortunately, because the Timber did not make the playoffs this year, we will have to wait until next season to hopefully see these beautiful items realized and given out to the Maine Timber hopeful. Luckily, this gives us more time to make more and change the plushies, so maybe they’ll have a cute hat or something by next season. Who knows.

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Task #2 - How would round 1 have gone down if the team matchups had been different? Which teams would be advancing to round 2? Would it have been more evenly matched? Less?
Requirements: 150+ words.
If the Maine Timber had made the playoffs this season, rather than the stinky Carolina Kraken, nothing would have changed except the Timber would probably take the Falcons to 7 games, since they had a weird tendency to take games off of them this season. The Falcons would still advance, I think, but the Timber would have been a better challenge for them in my personal opinion. It would still not be an evenly matched series, as the Falcons were quite obviously the class of the league over the course of the season, but it still would’ve been a closer series due to the strengths possessed by the Timber when it comes to defensive forwards in shutting down the really tough offensive firepower that the Detroit team possessed. Overall, I’d say that if the Maine Timber had gotten the fourth seed, it might have led to a better chance for a surprise upset.

SAwful · 05-13-2020, 11:07 PM

Code:
Task #1 - Create a fan giveaway item to be handed out at one of your team's playoff games (can be a rally towel, foam finger, bobble head, etc.) 

Requirements:

- WRITTEN: Write a 100 word blurb about the item, including details on the game where the item will be given out.

Mitchell van der Heijden Commemorative Bobble Head Night. Bobble heads will be given out the first game of the season so people don't forget about him. Bobble head will be a figure in a home blue uniform with a cartoon van der Heijden head. The figure will be striking a pose as if shooting a puck and mounted on a Anchorage Armada branded puck. If we have enough money, I'd like for the bobble head to light up or maybe even say recorded phrases like, "I'm not old enough"  or "I'm a minor" or even "I'm not legal yet." I anticipate that at least 50% of these bobble heads will be thrown back onto the ice.

Code:
Task #2 - How would round 1 have gone down if the team matchups had been different? Which teams would be advancing to round 2? Would it have been more evenly matched? Less?

Requirements: 150+ words.

If Anchorage had maybe been a little better in the regular season and played the Colorado instead, I believe they would have made the finals. Had we made our way to the second round, superior stamina would have paved way for a finals appearance. That being said, Kelowna playing Anaheim in the first round may have looked much like it did in the 2nd. I believe Kelowna would still have advanced to that 2nd round, but Anchorage would have put up a fight. In the West at least, things could have potentially looked much different.

In the East, things would have largely been the same. Detroit was always going to plow through everyone on their way to the final. There was absolutely no stopping them. Even swapping who came in at the 4 seed, I believe St. Louis would have still won their matchup and Detroit would have steam rolled right over Newfoundland. It's unfair, but life is most of the time.

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Task #3 - Write a magazine style article or make a magazine cover featuring a player comparison from any series matchup. You can compare player stats, etc. or get creative and compare their pregame superstitions or whatever.

Requirements:

- WRITTEN: 150+ words.

Let’s break down some star players in the Anaheim versus Anchorage matchup from the playoffs. Two players who were expected to play big roles on their teams curing this series were Anaheim’s Rhys Pritchard and Anchorage’s Mitchell van der Heijden. It seems like only one of them showed up. Looking at how each player looked before the series games, you could see that van der Heijden was visibly shook and tense the entire pregame skate. It also showed on the score board; Anchorage’s star center netted exactly 0 goals during the series and failed to deliver in what appeared to be a promising playoff run. On the other end of the ice Rhys Pritchard seemed calm, cool and collected. He led his team to a series win over Anchorage with multiple star worthy games and an overall outstanding performance. But what was happening here? Where did van der Heijden go wrong? How did Pritchard seem to keep his cool and manage to put the puck in the back of the net? It appears as if proper sleep regiment and breathing exercises during warmups were key. One cant quite tell from the stands, but we might be able to assume that the rhythmic breathing we saw Pritchard doing during his warmup laps may have just been keeping him out of his own head. There's no saying for sure, but things could have been different had van der Heijden done the same.

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Task #4 - Who would win in a fight between an actual falcon and a knight? All variables for said fight are up to your discretion.

Requirements: 100+ words.

I want to be funny here, I really do, but in almost every real world situation the knight is just going to smash the Falcon. Under no circumstances, even if the knight is dead, is the falcon going to be able to penetrate armor.

Looking at the situation from a different lens, lets see if maybe taking it to extremes will help even the odds a little.

15 Foot Tall Falcon vs Average Knight:

Sure, that's now a flying velociraptor. Flight and the ability to tear off the knights armor with it's giant talons make this much more interesting, almost like the knight is fighting a dragon. I'd give this one to the Falcon.

15 Foot Tall Falcon vs Invisible Knight:

Falcons and most birds of prey are very dependent on their visual acuity. If the falcon makes a wrong move, the knight could step in swiftly and deal a deathblow before the falcon knows what hits him. This round goes to the Knight.

15 Foot Tall Fire Breathing Falcon vs Invisible knight:

Holy crap, it's a dragon now. Honestly, it's a close match. If the falcon comes in and is able to detect the knight in any way before he swings, the falcon would just burn the knight to a crisp. But that's still a big what if. TIE ROUND.

I don't know, this is hard and it makes no sense.

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Task #5 - It's officially the offseason. Whether you just won the cup or didn't even make the playoffs, it's time to take a break and look toward the SHL draft. Tell us how you're spending your time.

Requirements: 150+ words.

I made the playoffs but didn't have the effect on the game I wanted. I wasn't able to help the team get to the next round or even really do anything substantial to help the team in any specific game.

I'm training and I'm training hard this off season. I'm going to the gym, I'm running on the beach Rocky style, I'm pulling a truck with rope, I'm shooting holes in the net at the local rink.

I'm mad this off season and I intend on doing something about it, there's very little time to relax or have fun, I'm a professional hockey player and I'm focused on getting better for next season.

Maybe I'd like to try to get more sleep this offseason too while I'm not training. The season was rigorous and I'm tired, but I need to keep training. It's a struggle to decide when to sleep and when to work out.

Maybe I'm taking this too seriously, but no one is telling me any different. I just want to be better.

Bongo · 05-14-2020, 03:38 PM

Task #2 - How would round 1 have gone down if the team matchups had been different? Which teams would be advancing to round 2? Would it have been more evenly matched? Less?
Requirements: 150+ words.

I think the one playoff round that would've fared differently if the seeding was somehow changed, would be the success of the Carolina Kraken - sure the Kraken have only 18 wins this season, but Newfoundland would've been an incredibly competitive series - I think everyone knew coming in to the playoffs that Detroit would be the heavy favourite and would ultimately sweep the Kraken, but Carolina could've easily pushed the Berserkers to 6 games.

In the west, I think if the Armada would've played Colorado in the first round rather than Anaheim, they would've not only won the series, but went on to the western conference final. In this scenario, Kelowna would've been beat up by the gritty Anaheim squad in a long series - it is reasonable to argue that the Armada would've built off of a first round win momentum. However, in hockey there are no "what ifs" - Ultimately, Detroit would win anyway.

Task #5 - It's officially the offseason. Whether you just won the cup or didn't even make the playoffs, it's time to take a break and look toward the SHL draft. Tell us how you're spending your time.
Requirements: 150+ words.

Obviously this offseason is like no other - I cannot just go to the gym and work out - I can't go to offseason jiu jitsu.. I believe this offseason is one of mental breaks, and mental recovery. The 10's were so chaotic, and the 20's so far are no better. I think this off season I will put my phone down, and learn to distract myself healthily. Perhaps I will learn a little bit of french, or at least do something mentally stimulating. My body is beat up after a long season, so I plan to focus on the things that occur inside of my head rather than trying to hustle around.
So ultimately, my plan is to adopt some stoic thought. A huge part of my lack of mental health is regretting things i've done in the past. I need to learn to let go of those things - that person isn't me. Gonna crush a lot of sour IPA's from my local brewery and gonna dip a whole truckload of copenhagen wintergreen too. Gonna be a blast not gonna lie. As i prepare for my play with Britain, I'll make the best of it.

Who would win in a fight between an actual falcon and a knight? All variables for said fight are up to your discretion.
Requirements: 100+ words.

Although a medieval knight may wear one-hundred pounds of armour and wield a stationary weapon such as a knife or sword, a Falcon would have zero chance. A trained military warrior vs a bird would play out opposite of the detroit/kelowna episode. Humans have unlimited power over animals - especially birds. How would a bird possibly kill a human? Even an above-average sized falcon would have zero effect on a knight - pecking and clawing may work if the falcon was sophisticated enough to target the knights eyes, but once the falcon gets within range of the knight, it will surely be struck down with a sharp object - also, a knight im guessing wears the stereotypical medieval headgear. With that being said, the Falcon would most likely flee- this fight is more likely to end in a stalemate with the knight dying of dysentery at the ripe age of 22 while the falcon reaps the benefits of nature before fossil fuels and nuclear fallout destroy the earth.

Task #1 - Create a fan giveaway item to be handed out at one of your team's playoff games (can be a rally towel, foam finger, bobble head, etc.)
Requirements:
- WRITTEN: Write a 100 word blurb about the item, including details on the game where the item will be given out.
- GRAPHIC: Include a picture of the item and at least one SMJHL logo; must look like you at least kinda tried.

The NHL's detroit red wings have traditionally thrown squids on the ice during playoff series, the florida panthers have thrown rats - it is only fitting that the kraken throw something to get the playoff juices flowing in the north carolina market. Being in a southern state, the Kraken could use a little bit of a culture boost. That is why I am offering a plan to hand out an Adam Friedland signed puck to the first 200 fans in the building. At the end of the game, the fans will be instructed to throw their puck onto the ice "hat trick" style. When Adam Friedland becomes an SHL superstar for the Hamilton Steelhawks (dark horse) these pucks will be invaluable - perhaps thousands of dollars. The Kraken staff will hoard the pucks
and sell them to Adam for a small fee - Adam will either have suffered a premature death, or complete his illustrious career - Friedland will then anonymously sell the game pucks for a tenfold of the original price as Friedland will refuse to sign anything else for the entirety of his career. Free money.

st4rface · 05-14-2020, 08:24 PM

Task #1
Colorado Raptors went in Play-Offs as underdogs. Fans helped a lot, so on game 3 of Kelowna Knights series, team will give away to each Raptors fan a bobble head hockey player. It will be randomised - you can get one of these three: Sven Svenson, Samat Beibitzhanov or Alexander Barkov. Bobble head player will be basically 20 centimetres long hockey player with bigger head which is moveable. That’s why it’s called bobble head. It will wear yellow Raptors jersey and will be personalised with a jersey number and last name. It will be given to each fan when they enter the arena. There is 20 000 limit of these bobble heads. If there will be bobble heads left, they will be given to all fans who want these other ones as well!
(133 words)

Task #2
It’s interesting question, for sure. I think Falcons were unbeatable and there was no team which had that “juice” to beat them. On Eastern would be bigger battle if Kraken would play versus Scarecrows or Berserkers. But Falcons would still sweep their opponent on first round. On Western - if Armada would face Raptors - they wouldn’t lose in first round. Plus, Outlaws would maybe lose if they would play versus Knights. I think that no matter what, Play-Offs would end the same - Falcons versus Knights on finals. There would be different battles, but same results. It wouldn’t be more or less evenly matched series. I think it would end the same, just because of how similar were greatest teams and how bad was worst teams.
Series in general were really interesting and I think it’s good that it ended how it ended. There were multiple 7 game series and that was most important for each fan, in my opinion.
(161 words)

Task #3
Kelowna Knights swept Colorado Raptors in first round. 4-0 and they qualified for second round.
Sven Svenson
Sven Svenson have been one of the greatest Raptors players this season and everyone was expecting to see him step up this Play-Offs series. Anyway - it wasn’t his year. He played all four games and went scoreless. Zero points, four penalty minutes, two hits, nine block shots and minus two plus/minus. Not so good series, but he has a room to grow.
Theo Golury
Svenson was matched up by left winger Golury who played really good. In these four games, he scored two goals and had two assists, getting four points in series total. No penalty minutes, three hits, seven blocked shots and plus three plus/minus.
I think it’s pretty clear that Theo Golury won this match up and in player comparison, he was better. We can’t ignore the fact that Golury had much better team and that played a pretty big role as well.
(163 words)

Task #4
I think this would be one sided fight. Of course, Falcon is able to fly, he have better agility and he bites hard. He’s an animal! But knight have an armour, he has a horse and maybe even sword or a gun. Either way, I don’t see that falcon has so big chances in this battle. I see knight winning it all, if he has a sword or even a gun. Falcon will need to shock knight somehow to beat him. Of course, that’s pretty much based on where fight happens as well. If it happens like in a room, then it’s no brainer that a knight wins. But if it happens in a forest or somewhere else in nature, then falcon has ability to shock a knight from a bush or a tree, or even coming on to a knight with full falcons crew. This is interesting debate, but I would put my money on a knight this time, if fights happens in a room.
(166 words)

Task #5
I had two weeks of free time. My team qualified for Play-Offs, but my player played only one from all four games. That’s because of suspension. So, off-season started a bit earlier for me. I spent my time making music and trying to find my soul, thing that I love to do. Chilling, thinking about life and a bit about SHL draft as well. I am still interested to see where my player will land, because a lot of users think that my player will not be drafted. Of course, it’s understandable, but I am still interested to see how it will go. I would be happy to land on Dragons, Blizzard or Barracuda. I like all these three teams pretty much the same and I will be happy if I will land there. Of course - no matter which team drafts me, because journey continues anyway, no matter what... Anyway - watching Netflix, chatting with girls and enjoying that we have sun outside. Hoping that everything will be fine in general in real life!
(175 words)

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