I have only been with STL for an hour but there is some interesting things going on.


1. We have a group pornhub premium account thanks to <a href='index.php?showuser=1627' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>probablydrunk</a> . We all rub one out before we get ready to take on the strong SMJHL competition!

2. Kitras, a very interesting individual, arrives 15 minutes before game time all the time drunk as all hell, to berate the rest of the team. Most of the time, we do not understand his incoherent dribble, but we love him anyways.

3. I am now the leader of the locker room. I have more cups than anyone on the team so they all listen to me as if I am a god in the SHL.


BOW DOWN TO ME

1. The Whalers have undergone a change in management after some drama but I don't know what the drama was being a complete newbie.

2. Phobospwns has a pretty sick Whaler's hat but nobody likes his facial hair except for JR95.

3. A lot of players like to play videogames in their spare time, and not of the hockey type.

1. Despite being fans of rival teams. <a href='index.php?showuser=2349' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-17'>bozzz</a> and <a href='index.php?showuser=2464' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-3'>DiBen</a> have somewhat of a mutual respect for each other.

2. the guys in the Raiders LR love to touch each others dicks.

3. <a href='index.php?showuser=1290' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>vbottas17</a> sometimes talks to himself

Originally posted by formx@Dec 10 2016, 08:41 PM
1. Despite being fans of rival teams. <a href='index.php?showuser=2349' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-17'>bozzz</a> and <a href='index.php?showuser=2464' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-3'>DiBen</a> have somewhat of a mutual respect for each other.

2. the guys in the Raiders LR love to touch each others dicks.

3. <a href='index.php?showuser=1290' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>vbottas17</a> sometimes talks to himself

this is pretty accurate tbh

1. Rice is a better GM then player.

2. Discords a thing. Seems like chatzy and ventrilo/skype rolled into one. Pretty active, but I keep forgetting to get on it.

3. The Mammoths captain at one point was a goalie.

Sachimo Zoidberg III - 1,166 TPE - Dragons
SHL Regular Season
S58 - 66GP-8G-20A-28P-+45-115SOG-54H-52SB
S59 - 66GP-4G-27A-31P-+29-148SOG-40H-82SB
-----------------------
SHL Playoffs
S58 - 5GP-0G-2A-2P--2-5SOG-6H-8SB
S59 - 6GP-0G-2A-2P--1-11SOG-4H-11SB
-----------------------
SHL Totals
-----------------------
SMJHL Regular Season
S55 - 50GP-5G-14A-19P--39-91SOG-41H-127SB
S56 - 50GP-5G-12A-17P-+4-86SOG-10H-96SB
S57 - 66GP-4G-9A-13P--25-90SOG-59H-145SB
-----------------------
SMJHL Playoffs
S55 - 4GP-0G-0A-0P-0-6SOG-5H-11SB
S56 - 5GP-1G-2A-3P--2-7SOG-0H-11SB
S57 - 5GP-0G-1A-1P--3-8SOG-3H-7SB
-----------------------
SMJHL Totals
Final - 180GP-15G-38A-53P--65-289SOG-118H-397SB
-----------------------
International Play
S55 - 15GP-1G-2A-3P-+7-9SOG-4H-11SB
S56 - 15GP-1G-5A-6P-+5-14SOG-6H-19SB
S57 - 12GP-0G-1A-1P-+2-21SOG-13H-28SB
-----------------------
Achievements
S55-Drafted 44th Overall by Nevada (4th Round)
S55-Silver Medal in WJC with Canada
S55-All-SMJHL Rookie Team
S56-Drafted 13th Overall by Calgary (1st Round)
S56-Gold Medal in WJC with Canada

1. Before every game, Zinaida Titova can be seen in the locker room applying a glittery temporary tattoo onto herself - usually on her arms or thighs. Once, when Teddy Kesler was teasing her about her height, she slapped one onto the outside of his knee.

2. Alek Koivu has such large breasts that Veli initially mistook him for another female player.

3. Lukas Muller seems to get winded after climbing the stairs to get into the arena, so there are doubts as to whether he'll be able to keep up once the regular season starts.

Jaden Tanner || RD || Calgary Dragons
Age: 22
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 220 lb
Number: 98
-----------------------------------
SHL Regular Season:
S74 | CGY | GP: 66 | G: 3 | A: 16 | P: 19 | +/-: -14 | H: 46 | SB: 98 | GA: 13 | TA: 48
S75 | CGY | GP: 66 | G: 2 | A: 11 | P: 13 | +/-: -21 | H: 48 | SB: 104 | GA: 17 | TA: 38
S76 | CGY | GP: 66 | G: 0 | A: 14 | P: 14 | +/-: -5 | H: 73 | SB: 112 | GA: 21 | TA: 74
-----------------------------------
SHL Playoffs:
S74 | CGY | DNQ
S75 | CGY | DNQ
S76 | CGY | GP: 5 | G: 0 | A: 2 | P: 2 | +/-: -7 | H: 4 | SB: 4 | GA: 0 | TA: 3
-----------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season:
S71 | VAN | GP: 66 | G: 3 | A: 23 | P: 26 | +/-: 1 | H: 93 | SB: 112 | GA: 17 | TA: 52
S72 | VAN | GP: 66 | G: 5 | A: 25 | P: 30 | +/-: 27 | H: 112 | SB: 86 | GA: 32 | TA: 61
S73 | VAN | GP: 66 | G: 1 | A: 21 | P: 22 | +/-: 35 | H: 106 | SB: 91 | GA: 19 | TA: 57
-----------------------------------
SMJHL Playoffs:
S70 | VAN | GP: 5 | G: 0 | A: 2 | P: 2 | +/-: -1 | H: 6 | SB: 9 | GA: 4 | TA: 4
S71 | VAN | GP: 5 | G: 1 | A: 0 | P: 1 | +/-: -1 | H: 11 | SB: 4 | GA: 3 | TA: 8
S72 | VAN | GP: 5 | G: 0 | A: 0 | P: 0 | +/-: -5 | H: 9 | SB: 4 | GA: 1 | TA: 6
S73 | VAN | GP: 11 | G: 2 | A: 6 | P: 8 | +/-: 1 | H: 14 | SB: 18 | GA: 6 | TA: 15
Jakob Tanner || HoF Goalie || HoF GM || CGY Co-GM
4x Challenge Cup (S24, S26, S30, S31)
1x IIHF Gold (S23, Ireland)
1x 2nd All-Star Team (S29)
1x 3rd All-Star Team (S30)
1x John McBride Trophy (S29)
1x Anton Razov Trophy (S30)
1x Mike Honcho Trophy (S29)
1x John McBride Nominee (S30)
2x Joe McKeil Award (S24, S35)

Originally posted by jjlangabeer@Dec 9 2016, 11:07 AM
1) I have learned that the age difference in our group is pretty vast. We have members that are in our locker room that when I was there age, They weren't even born yet. Looking at you <a href='index.php?showuser=2397' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-34'>Samee</a> lol

2) I also found out that <a href='index.php?showuser=73' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-3'>Boomcheck</a> is a legand to be, despite his teams, ummm, Ill say sketchy pre season record lol. Hey but its just preseason... who cares.

3) One other thing I have learned is a ton about player builds and so forth. The Knights discord is full of knowledgeable teammates who are willing to help you with anything, and everything, even when you mess up the fantasy draft lol. sorry <a href='index.php?showuser=2279' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-54'>tweedledunn</a>

GO&nbsp;

1. Old man langabeer has probably 30 nicknames at this point, more to come as well

2. Apparently like everyone is Canadian. There's even someone who is actually from Kelowna! I had to google Kelowna because I'd never heard of it, I'm ashamed to say

3. There's waffles, I don't know if I'm allowed to speak further on the subject

1. kit knows the weed man (donny)

2. a lot of guys in the locker room like wrestling. it sucks.

3. the locker room has a smoky haze that seems to come from the GM's office

1. Harper Wright has a list of every player taken before him in his locker. Every time he lays one of them out in a game he crosses them off his list.

2. Otto Lahti has pictures of himself hung everywhere. Couldn't tell you why. It was weird walking into the locker room before our first game and seeing a giant banner with his face on it. He gives himself a peptalk before every game and it looks like this:



3. In true Detroit fashion, Wannabefinn made us all get buzzcuts and bleach our hair blond. When we come out of the tunnel at gametime "The Real Slim Shady" plays us out.

Konrad Danke / C / 340 TPE / Texas / Maine / Czech
S54 Draft Class // Czech Republic


John Heimer-Schmidt // Former Whaler GM // Retired
The Greatest Shitstirrer of All Time


thanks @suavemente !

1. Tommy Salami's has a three minute rap called the 'Salami Slam'. It's about his penis.

2. Taro Tsujimoto's victory dance when he was voted as the S32 Captain involved bells, whistles and more glitter then a 14 year old girls birthday party.

3. Rurik Razin was only drafted because of a mutual man-crush on Erik Karlsson with one of the GMs.

Andren Akerson (Present)
Adrik Baranov (S55 to S70)
Rurik Razin (S32 to S44)
Roy Razin (S17 to S32) (HOF/Rage HOF)
Audun Wissink (S5 to S15)

Originally posted by galatix@Dec 8 2016, 03:51 PM
1. APPARENTLY THERE ARE PEOPLE ON MY TEAM WHO HAVE NOT HAD SNICKERDOODLES IN THEIR LIVES. I AM APPALLED AND NEED TO FIX THIS SOON. cough looking at you <a href='index.php?showuser=1286' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-56'>r1c3bowl22</a> and <a href='index.php?showuser=2460' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-3'>Dantejg</a>

Who the fuck has never had a snickerdoodle. That's just inhuman.

Eryk Siniskaya || Defense || Unsigned ||


Timo Haas || Goalie || Los Angeles Panthers || Retired/Hall of Fame

Thaddeus Prince is obsessed with blocking things. I went to throw a bottle in the trash today and he dove across the locker room to keep it out.

After the game tonight they told me the Zamboni was broke and I needed to do it the old fashioned way. I finally understand what a hoser is. Based on my performance, I deserved it.

The Impact shrine is legit. It has jerseys, digital photo frames, and a few important pucks. It's kinda creepy.

Clarence Worley | LW | Ottawa Highlanders | 219 TPE
SMJHL Career
TBD
Career Notes
Drafted 19th Overall by OTT in S77 SMJHL Entry Draft

Josef Kubinec | LW | Texas Renegades | Retired
SMJHL Career
S46 - HAL || GP: 43 || G: 4 || A: 2 || Pts: 6 || PM: +2 || PIM: 6 || H: 22
S47 - HAL || GP: 50 || G: 10 || A: 10 || Pts: 20 || PM: -7 || PIM: 38 || H: 34
S48 - HAL || GP: 50 || G: 20 || A: 22 || Pts: 42 || PM: +10 || PIM: 10 || H: 24
S49 - HAL || GP: 50 || G: 20 || A: 26 || Pts: 46 || PM: +17 || PIM: 35 || H: 53
SMJHL Playoffs
S46 - HAL || GP: 13 || G: 0 || A: 1 || Pts: 1 || PM: -2 || PIM: 0 || H: 2
S47 - HAL || GP: 4 || G: 2 || A: 0 || Pts: 0 || PM: 0 || PIM: 4 || H: 3
S48 - HAL || GP: 16 || G: 6 || A: 7 || Pts: 13 || PM: 0 || PIM: 10 || H: 5
S49 - HAL || GP: 7 || G: 3 || A: 2 || Pts: 5 || PM: +2 || PIM: 2 || H: 10
SHL Career
S50 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 10 || A: 13 || Pts: 23 || PM: -15 || PIM: 10 || H: 15
S51 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 24 || A: 22 || Pts: 46 || PM: -7 || PIM: 20 || H: 45
S52 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 16 || A: 16 || Pts: 32 || PM: -18 || PIM: 20 || H: 56
S53 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 15 || A: 18 || Pts: 33 || PM: -21 || PIM: 20 || H: 48
S54 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 18 || A: 33 || Pts: 51 || PM: +6 || PIM: 26 || H: 25
S55 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 13 || A: 22 || Pts: 35 || PM: -1|| PIM: 12 || H: 35
S56 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 21 || A: 41 || Pts: 62 || PM: +22|| PIM: 18 || H: 44
S57 - TEX || GP: 66 || G: 22 || A: 47 || Pts: 69 || PM: +6|| PIM: 10 || H: 48
S58 - TEX || GP: 66 || G: 35 || A: 30 || Pts: 65 || PM: +47|| PIM: 12 || H: 75
S59 - TEX || GP: 66 || G: 14 || A: 33 || Pts: 47 || PM: +31|| PIM: 6 || H: 41
S60 - TEX || GP: 66 || G: 27 || A: 32 || Pts: 59 || PM: +24|| PIM: 21 || H: 54
S61 - TEX || GP: 66 || G: 22 || A: 28 || Pts: 50 || PM: +25|| PIM: 8 || H: 29
Total || GP: 680 || G: 237 || A: 335 || Pts: 572 || PM: +99|| PIM: 183 || H: 515
SHL Playoffs
S55 - TEX || GP: 4 || G: 0 || A: 1 || Pts: 1 || PM: -1|| PIM: 0 || H: 3
S56 - TEX || GP: 4 || G: 0 || A: 0 || Pts: 0 || PM: -7|| PIM: 0 || H: 1
S57 - TEX || GP: 5 || G: 1 || A: 1 || Pts: 2 || PM: -2|| PIM: 0 || H: 5
S58 - TEX || GP: 12 || G: 3 || A: 2 || Pts: 5 || PM: -4|| PIM: 2 || H: 10
S59 - TEX || GP: 16 || G: 3 || A: 12 || Pts: 15 || PM: +13|| PIM: 0 || H: 14
S60 - TEX || GP: 9 || G: 6 || A: 4 || Pts: 10 || PM: +9|| PIM: 0 || H: 10
S61 - TEX || GP: 19 || G: 8 || A: 5 || Pts: 13 || PM: +5|| PIM: 0 || H: 17
Total || GP: 69 || G: 26 || A: 25 || Pts: 51 || PM: +13|| PIM: 2 || H: 60
Career Notes
Signed to Halifax as Free Agent, S46
Drafted 53rd Overall by TEX in S47 Entry Draft
Aidan Richan Award Nominee - S51
Named Alternate Captain for Texas Renegades - S54
Aidan Richan Award Winner - S56
All-Star - 3rd Team - S56
Won S59 Challenge Cup with Texas Renegades
IIHF Bronze Medal With Finland - S61
Retired after S61
4th all time in points for Texas Renegades*
5th all time in goals for Texas Renegades*
(*) At time of retirement

   

Originally posted by bozzz@Dec 10 2016, 09:07 PM


this is pretty accurate tbh

Yeah. Shane does like to talk to himself.

Eryk Siniskaya || Defense || Unsigned ||


Timo Haas || Goalie || Los Angeles Panthers || Retired/Hall of Fame