To focus on only the teams I have any affiliation with, I'll be fixing the Manhattan Rage and the Newfoundland Berserkers for this exercise. For the Rage, looking at our roster and stats, it's clear that the biggest weakness on the team is luck. Only 2 players on the team (the 2nd defensive pairing) find themselves over 100 PDO, while the remaining 13 skaters are all on the lower side of 100, despite the entire team having a corsi for of over 50% and driving the possession game. This includes 7 of the bottom 50 unluckiest players in the league belonging to the team. To an amateur, this doesn't seem like a fixable problem, but that's why I'm being brought in. For starters, all player's fingers will be taped to be crossed under their gloves during the games, as well as personal 2x4s on the bench for each player to knock on wood during rests. If that doesn't work, it's time to start taking it more seriously, with each player wearing a rabbit's foot and potentially even dabbling in experimental potions prior to games.

Luckily, the Berserker's fix is much easier. As a veteran of the team and current coach/advisor, I've noticed that the amount of shots from the current team is at an all time low, both on and off the ice. To fix it, we will just drill home the selfish Juke mentality of shots on net over team play, as well as stress the importance of inebriation in our S55 cup run, and how it is crucial to maintain that level of degeneracy if there's to be any chance of a title defense in S56.