written prompt one

so remember how a few weeks ago binko said on the public record to the media when asked about it that he was very opposed to having a fan made blog web site hook up all of the players with trackers in order to track their on and off ice movement and activities? well guess what, binko actually secretly loved that idea but he just didn't want some idiots to have his data! so what he is going to do instead is to start his own stat tracking website where he will use his admittedly quite low standing in the league to try to convince all of the teams of the simulation hockey league to wear binko's new trackers both on and off the ice and actually he will use it to track one thing and one thing only however he will not tell the teams about this until they have all agreed to wear the trackers under iron clad contracts. the metric that binko will be tracking will be pee speed! how quickly the piss leaves the piss tube is a very important metric, as well as the pee throughput needs to be measured as well. @Jepox rookie sim wen will be the guineau pig for the tracker to make sure it works because he's got a rock solid piss stream and @hotdog eel will be the supervisor because he is an expert in all matters related to pee