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echlyrica · 01-03-2024, 02:29 AM

Prompt 1

Crystal has invented a new stat percentage known as "Goonishness", which represents a mix of total team PIMs, which players served what amount of those PIMs, what penalties the PIMs were served for, as well as the view counts of fights on hockeyfights.com when they happened. With this statistic, fans are are able to track which teams are likely to play the most physically, and watch games where two physical teams play each other, if that's the kind of hockey they enjoy.

Of course, at the tippy top of the list was the Calgary Dragons, led by the enlightened Revolutionary President of the Goon Rennaisance herself, of course. Completely incidentally (or so she says, there's rumors of money going to the code monkeys to make sure her team stays number 1), Crystal McLeod has led the league in her own stat. More importantly perhaps, it highlights her as a member of the Calgary Dragons, leading them in some way. It has been widely reported that while Crystal experiences some amount of publicity due to her ad campaigns for Kelowna, on the inside she is deeply team-motivated. While she enjoys the spotlight, she wants to make sure that spotlight is on the Dragon on her sweater, as well as her face.

*Katth* · 01-03-2024, 02:41 AM

Prompt 2

My favourite offensive set play... I am not sure which one to pick as I think all of them that we have work really well as you can see by the results we are having this season. The ones I like most are the ones that result in a goal for us, either scored by me or one of my team mates. If I had to pick one I guess it is one of the offensive plays we do when we turn over the puck in our defensive zone and try to force a break a way. Those are always pretty intense for us as players but also for the fans. Who does not love a good one on one with the goalie? When we turn over the puck we (both wingers) immediately go for the open space while our center tries to draw at least one defender with him. If we do not create a one on one it might be a two on one.

S50 Challenge Cup Finals Game 7
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Crunk · 01-03-2024, 05:39 AM

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***goldenglutes*** · 01-03-2024, 05:54 AM

written prompt one

so remember how a few weeks ago binko said on the public record to the media when asked about it that he was very opposed to having a fan made blog web site hook up all of the players with trackers in order to track their on and off ice movement and activities? well guess what, binko actually secretly loved that idea but he just didn't want some idiots to have his data! so what he is going to do instead is to start his own stat tracking website where he will use his admittedly quite low standing in the league to try to convince all of the teams of the simulation hockey league to wear binko's new trackers both on and off the ice and actually he will use it to track one thing and one thing only however he will not tell the teams about this until they have all agreed to wear the trackers under iron clad contracts. the metric that binko will be tracking will be pee speed! how quickly the piss leaves the piss tube is a very important metric, as well as the pee throughput needs to be measured as well. @Jepox rookie sim wen will be the guineau pig for the tracker to make sure it works because he's got a rock solid piss stream and @hotdog eel will be the supervisor because he is an expert in all matters related to pee

Signatures by Vulfzilla, Jepox, Jess, rum_ham, Ragnar, and myself
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***liebolda*** · 01-03-2024, 09:40 AM

Adam Liebold has a couple favorite offensive set plays. One of his favorites is on the power play, when set up in the umbrella formation in the offensive zone Adam has his scoring spot. It is near the top of the left offensive zone faceoff dot. Here is where Adam sits waiting on a pass from his team. He sits their poised to shoot. His shot is dangerous from here. Everyone on the ice knows that he is looking to shoot from the same spot but he still manages to get the shot off and it goes in. His shot is too fast and accurate for the goalies when passed to off the one timer from fellow line mates. The chemistry he has with them is uncanny and this leads to him scoring when he is set up in his spot. It is his favorite spot on the ice except for grinding for the puck in the offensive zone behind the net.

***Esso2264*** · 01-03-2024, 10:27 AM

Option 2

Wheels · 01-03-2024, 11:03 AM

In the world of hockey statistics, where shots, goals, and assists reign supreme, one maverick player has dared to redefine the game. Philip Fry, the visionary mind on the ice, has introduced a groundbreaking statistic that promises to revolutionize the way we perceive puck play – the "Puck-on-the-Ice Time" (PIT). Yes, you heard it right. PIT measures the mind-boggling duration the puck spends on the ice. Since, well, it's a puck, and it's hockey, it's always on the ice. Critics argue that tracking the obvious is redundant, but Fry insists it adds a layer of nuance to the game. "It's about appreciating the unsung hero – the puck. We take it for granted, but without it, hockey would be a bunch of people skating around with sticks," Fry passionately declared. While some traditionalists scoff at the absurdity, others embrace the whimsy of PIT, turning hockey analytics into a delightful circus where even the puck gets its moment in the spotlight. After all, in the grand scheme of hockey, why not celebrate the puck's unwavering commitment to staying on the ice?

178 words

Wearingabear · 01-03-2024, 11:12 AM

Hockey Math. That's what we're talking about today. Hockey Math. More specifically, nerds who don't actually play hockey and hide behind the internet, and only post on blogs, hockey math. So the stats that we're talking about here have nothing to do with Goals, Assists, PTS, or even get into the far more ridiculous and too smart for my own good Corsi or PDO, or the WAR or QWAR stats that have made their rounds in many a leagues these days. No, what we're talking about here is CPG. Chirps per Game. Which can get broken down into QCG, or Quality Chirps per Game. What's the difference between the two? How much a player chirps while on the bench to nobody in general is fine, but doesn't provide the type of grit that is needed in a game. So yes, while those count as chirps, it's not as effective as the Quality Chirps per Game. You know, the ones that really get to a player, the ones that fire up your team because it distracted the other team. However, the QCG can sometimes come as a negative, sometimes those QCG are against the officials. Those can put a target on your back and lead to actual penalties.

*thiefofcheese* · 01-03-2024, 11:33 AM

Well i guess if we are tracking random stats I would go with ml of water consumed per game. We see them pounding water all the time and I am curious if the amount of water intake directly impacts their performance. Like we know that if there is not enough water that can create and issue, but are the stars drinking more or less than average? Is the water consumption correlated with fitness level? Do those that are in better shape drink less than others who drink more?

Then you get people like goalies that drink the water or play with the water at each break or whatnot. I know that Holtby used to always squeese some into the air and watch it fall just about everytime there is a break in play. So we would have to find a way to compensate for such avtivities but that is a detail i haven't completely worked out yet.

***Ace*** · 01-03-2024, 12:28 PM

Written Task – Option 2 – 162 words
Lord Farquaads’ favorite set play is the Magic Mirror on the Wall. This is something that doesn’t require much coordination from the rest of the team, the execution falls solely on Lord Farquaads. Right off the faceoff, when Lias Ekholm-Gunnarsson hopefully wins it, Lord Farquaads posts up directly in front of the opposition’s goaltender. He pretends to be a mirror, and copies every single thing that the goaltender does. It doesn’t interfere with anything, but it causes severe mental anguish for the goalie who cannot comprehend what is going on in front of them. Meanwhile, Lord Farquaads compliments his mimicry with outlandish facial expressions, causing the goaltender to wonder if they make weird faces when they are playing too. Meanwhile, the Aurora are zipping the puck around, and the goaltender loses track of where the puck is, because Lord Farquaads is making him question his very existence with the old trusty Magic Mirror on the Wall set play.

Thunfish · 01-03-2024, 12:58 PM

Having come from a night of playing an official SHL licensed game with his family and friends from Schubbekutteveen, Sunrise van de Schubbekutteveen came up with an interesting thought when asked by the local hockey blog about what he could come up with in terms of stats - something "for the whole family" as they requested. He had noticed that some of his brothers had figured out how to skate backwards, a move that gave the player more speed than normal, efficiently repositioning defenders in proper fashion. With that in mind, he suggested establishing a stat category related to how long and how often a player skated backward or with their back turned.

This quirky stat quickly made the papers of the local news as the staff stumbled to figure out a workable method to employ such an option though they would, by the end of the week, come up with a way to do so.

**bbjygm** · 01-03-2024, 02:24 PM

ViN · 01-03-2024, 03:00 PM

Quote:Written Task: Describe your player's favorite offensive set play. Your player must be directly involved in the play, including goalies.

Jaxson Reapers favorite offensive set play is the play we like to call the "Netminder Shuffle". Allow me to break down how it works. You see, the goalie, while he loves to play his position in net, can get tired of standing around all period especially when we're in the offensive zone most of the game. So we like to give him a nice break from time to time and get him in on some of the offensive action. What we'll do to signal the play, Jaxson Reaper will skate back into his zone and give our goalie a nice stick on pad tap to let him know they're switching out. From there Jaxson will take the place of our goalie to defend the net while our goalie will rush into the offensive zone to take Jaxsons and wind up for a serious one timer. You'd be surprised how often this works in practice. The opposing team never sees it coming, who would?

167 Words

*MMFLEX* · 01-03-2024, 03:03 PM

Option #1:

Barg Hazbite is a bit of a nerd, somewhat of a genius, and bonafide SHL star. While he's not on the ice and making young females swoon, he's been carefully crafting a new statistic that he's yet to release, but his calculations have been tried and tested this season. To no one's surprise (only Barg) the stat is a game changer. It's called the Barq's/Root beer ratio. Basically, the medical team for each SHL team must report what each player consumed in the two hours leading up to each game. Hazbite compiled this data to measure the success of the player as they consumed root beer, specifically Barq's. He's found that the players that consume no root beer make no girls hearts throb. If they consume some root beer but no Barq's, then there might be like one or two girls hot for the player. And as you may have guessed, the players that consume the most amount of Barq's, like Hazbite, get mobbed by the ladies like they're Taylor Swift fans.

***jaypc8237*** · 01-03-2024, 03:21 PM

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