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S75 PT#1: Orr What? Due: Monday, February 19th @ 11:59pm PST

Quote:Written Task: If a teammate asked you how best to train hand-eye coordination, what advice would your player have for them? As before, your player does not need to be correct. Feel free to write absolute madness, flex your knowledge of real-world athletic training, or anywhere in between.

I would first have them climb to the top of the highest mountain in Nepal. There, they would study under the sagest monks alive today. The training would be like what Uma Thurman’s character goes through in Kill Bill volume 2.

Special attention will be paid to physical fitness, agility, and endurance training. Once the player can climb one thousand steps while holding two buckets of water balanced on a plank of wood, we move to the second part of the plan: Duck Hunt, the NES game. Using a light gun like they did in the 90s, the player will be tasked with maintaining perfect scores in the game Duck Hunt. Under no circumstances can they miss a duck. If they do, they need to restart the training from square one.

Finally, there needs to be a spiritual awakening within the player that allows them to realize that life is greater than hockey, greater even than hand eye coordination. I’m thinking something like the Matrix’s ‘there is no spoon’ reveal. There is no hand eye coordination because there are no hands, or no eyes. There simply is.

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option 2 written

Sim Wen is a little psycho out there when it comes to training he had his friend and teammate Binko Koivu @goldenglutes ask how he was approaching training up his hand eye coordination because that's a really important key part of this game we love called hockey so he wanted to be sure that Sim Wen was training it up nice and well however the methods he was taking would shock you!!! Sim Wen likes to get someone to throw dulled darts at him and he has to catch them because he likes living on the edge and needs that nice adrenaline boost to make him really train himself up nice and well however like he was told once he can't get his teammate P.E.E. aka @hotdog to throw these darts for him because he's an eel and has no hands!! Anyways Sim Wen used to use real darts like the ones you throw at dart boards not the slang term for cigs because he's a little bit dumb and almost took out one of his own eyes so he had to stop doing that.

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Option 2:

Written Task: If a teammate asked you how best to train hand-eye coordination, what advice would your player have for them? As before, your player does not need to be correct.
Feel free to write absolute madness, flex your knowledge of real-world athletic training, or anywhere in between.

I do love madness, but before we get completely crazy, let's try to empty out my real knowledge here. Hand-eye coordination? My first thought immediately goes to ball throwing and catching. As a swede, I feel personally inclined to recommend a great game here: Brännboll. It is almost like baseball but better. Simpler and more fun, so we go with that, the team can enjoy some good fun games while getting both cardio and hand-eye coordination in. Now for some madness, I suggest a high five competition. Apparently high fives are supposed to be 100% if you look at the other persons elbow, but we need to practise this and see how we can incorporate similar ideas to improve our dekes and shots!

Taking assistance from google, because no one would just go on the internet and post lies, some other suggestions are racquet sports and swimming. So let's go with that. Another classic for hockey players that include hand-eye coordination is of course golf.

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Option 2

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option 2 - written task:

While Elly can't communicate through human language, she knows just what everyone needs to train their hand-eye coordination. So she invites those that ask her to play games with her. They spend time on the ice bapping the puck around with their sticks/hands (and Elly's paws) and spend some time playing catch. These are very passive ways to train this coordination, and how felines train in the wild. They spend some time banking shots off the side of the arena toward each other and play with balloons. several balloons are tossed and the players are supposed to try and keep each of them off the ground as long as they can. Paying attention not just to where the balloons are but how they hit them with their hands, because if they hit too far outwards the balloons get too far apart and it becomes harder and harder to keep them aloft as they leave normal arm range.  If they want they can even lay on their backs and do it this way, as it is a lot of fun and very relaxing. Lastly, if you were to ask Elly, she would say giving 100 head rubs to her head with each hand in clockwise motions followed by counterclockwise motions is absolutely essential and in no way is only done to make Elly feel good. She would think it preposterous that one might assume this. 

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Option 2:

You know what requires great hand-eye coordination? And also requires balance, strength, stamina, and agility? The individual challenges on Survivor!!! Marton doesn't spend his SHL paycheck on lots of fast cars or custom suits or a sneaker collection, instead he hires local carpenters and craftsman to build exact replicas of his favorite challenges from the long history of Survivor. One of his personal favorites is the metal loop contraption where you put a ball in and it rolls down then you catch it and put it back at the top but then you have to keep adding more balls and they roll out to different sides and eventually it's like wha! wha! wha! back and forth as you try to catch the balls that are rolling out faster and faster and faster.

Google says that it's called "Simmotion" but Marton just calls it "that crazy ball rolling thing" and you can just go watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zb_tR8zhzN4&ab

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Written Task Option 2

Rodrigo Banes, if asked by a teammate about training hand eye coordination, would likely take the chance to pull a little prank on them. The first and easiest option would be to simply, yet earnestly, explain that you 'knew a guy,' or had some sort of facility where you had trained that particular skill in the past. Choose a location a little way from their house, enough to be a bit of a drive, but not enough to be annoying. Then, ask them to meet you there early, before pratice, maybe 4:30 or 5:00 AM. Then, simply do not show up. While you will owe them a beer and/or dinner after this, you unfortunately don't get to be there to watch them realize they've been had. 

An amusing addition to this would be to beat them there, wait for them to show up, and then chase them down the street in some sort of monster costume. This has the added benefit of being hilarious, as well as actually giving them some free cardio training.

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According to reknowned Philadelphia Forge, sometime centre but most time winger because he cant cut it in the middle anymore, Red Kirkby the easiest way to train hand eye coordination is to up the stakes to the point that failure is essentially not an option. Get in the ring with a bull and practice moving at the last second, have someone throw knives at you and learn to evade without taking injury, piss on @hotdog s foot under the stall wall during after practice showers and see how long it takes him to notice and then when he flys into an incoherent rage see how many punches you can dodge before getting knocked out. The thing about professional sports these days is that everyone has gotten soft and instead of good old fashioned pain training everyone is going to see sports scientists and psychologists to iron out the kinks in their game. Thats all mumbo jumbo as far as Red is concerned and the only way to learn is to get those stakes high.

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Option 2

Oh man, I have the best way to train your hand eye coordination. It is so easy, your Grandma can do it. All you need to do is grab some pudding (specifically a Snack Pack), clear tape, and a tennis ball. First you tape around the entire ball to make it look like a shiny ball. Then you get someone to throw the ball at you. Now here is where the real training kicks in. You have to wear dark shaded glasses. The darker the better. Like, go to a welding supply store and buy one of their visors or something. Put those on and let it rip. Try to catch the ball that is being thrown by you. After you master that, you take the glasses off and do it again. This should allow you to see the ball coming at you, no matter what. Now you may be thinking, what about the Snack Pack? Once you have completed this training you enjoy the hell out of that Snack Pack.

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The next night, Fry found himself face to face with the legendary Bobby Orr. Dumbfounded, Fry listened as Orr regaled him with tales of his glory days, of Stanley Cup wins and incredible goals. There was no mention of playing techniques or strategies, just stories of hockey greatness. Confused by the encounter, Fry woke up clutching an authentic Bobby Orr-autographed pharmacy receipt. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was a deeper message behind Orr's visit. Perhaps it was about embracing the joy and passion of the game, or maybe it was a reminder to never lose sight of what made him love hockey in the first place. If Fry could ask Orr one question, it would be: "What drove you to become the greatest offensive defenseman of all time?" He suspected the answer would revolve around his hard work, dedication, and a love for the game that transcended everything else.

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(This post was last modified: 02-19-2024, 01:50 PM by adamantium. Edited 1 time in total.)

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Option 2: 170 Words

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"Okay, onto Q&A! Remember folks, if you've got a question for the podcast, you can shoot us an email at Petey and the Flower at gmail dot com. First question of the week:

'Hey Pete and Benny. How do you guys handle training your hand-eye coordination? I'm always trying to improve my stickhandling.'

Great question. I think I could easily do a bit about fighting games, but honestly, I try to do a lot for my hand-eye. Most games I'm showing up to the rink a bit early so I can play some solo wall-ball with a lacrosse stick, honestly. I played a bit in high school, although it was never my calling, but I think a good thirty minutes to an hour of wallball is a great hand-eye warmup and developer. Obviously we do some other hand-eye drills in practice, but something about the solitary of a ball and wall and some music is always worth thinking about. Certainly helps me!"

- Benson Fiorentini, on his and Pytor Gallen's podcast.

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Option 1:

The pharmacy receipt from Mr Orr was actually the artifact of a very important lesson in merchandising. Mr Orr was trying to impress upon Slip McScruff the way to play the right way, but it wasn't about playing hockey, it was about making money off of your hockey personality. Anything can become a profit generating device if you scribble your signature on it.

An important aspect to this lesson is about timing. During your career, especially the beginning and the peak, sign very few items because this is when you produce the most collectible artifacts. Your hockey personality is most valuable at this stage and scarcity drives up the value quite a bit. Then, after you start coming down the other side of the mountain, start churning out signatures on anything that is nearby. You want to make a low entry point in the market for the every day collector. There is very little competition between the diehards who will dump trucks of money for a signed puck and the average fan who will pay $5 for a signed picture. You should even give out a few free signatures on weird objects, like receipts, to grow the mystique around your brand.

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Never forget
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2024, 03:40 PM by vbottas17. Edited 1 time in total.)

So after another epic day of surfing at his secret spot on the Oregon coast, Alexi Piastri decides to head back to his air bnb and rest up for more surfing the following day. He stopped at a pizza place on the way back, and the kid working there insisted that he put mushrooms on his pizza. Alexi was like, "Dude, im ordering the Hawaiian, I'm pretty sure that mushrooms don't go on that pizza." But the kid was like "Bro, you don't understand, this pizza will change your life!" So Piastri decided to roll with it. Anyways I think there was something magical about that pizza.. Piastri thought he was dreaming about hanging out with Bobby Orr doing some night surfing at the beach right out in front of his air bnb, They were talking about how the key to scoring goals is envisioning that the ice is the ocean, the other players on the ice are sharks so it's best to just stay away from them, or punch them in the nose if they get to close. Ride the currents of the ice and you'll find your self in position to score goals & then just hang ten shaka celly. The thing is his surfboard is now sighed by Bobby Orr.. what a trip.

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