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TheHockeyist · 11-16-2019, 12:58 AM

Igor and Jon are back again, this time discussing the draft. And some more things. Well, there is the draft.

Grader: To be split 50/50 between me and @C9Van

Igor Volkov enters the room with a pina colada
Igor: So, training is fun, isn't it?
Jon Forty-One is fairly sweaty after pushing himself thanks to the pre-season training sessions. He sips on his pina colada drink that's already mostly gone.
Jon: Yeah, it has been going pretty swell honestly. Feeling like I am getting better and better!
Igor: Of course. Knew you'd want to train with me. I'm about in the middle of my long routine. Still need to do some things.
Igor shoots a puck at the net. It doesn't go as planned and Igor tries to chase after the puck. He loses balance and falls to the ice, rather expectedly.
Igor: Agh, eh, just need to stand up again...
Igor stands up to get the puck. As he skates towards it, he feels something caught in his skates.
Igor: Argh! Russian swearing Jon!
Jon Forty-One is just watching the television someone has on and whilst he can't really hear it, he can see what they are talking about. From the look of the players, they are all rookies in the minors league draft coming up.
Jon: Huh? Oh. What the fuck did you do? I turn around for 1 second and you're diving. This is not the Simulation Basketball Association dude...
Igor: Wait, how is there a television in the rink? How did you bring that into the rink without causing suspicion?
Jon: I know a guy with tech. It is basically just an old phone but it gets you television. Do not worry about it. Have you seen anything about the new Simulation Hockey League rookies?
Igor: I haven't seen anything really. I don't keep up with all of that to be honest. Igor bends down in an attempt to tie his skates But I can tell you about the recently discovered resonance of Naiad and Thalassa around Neptune...
Igor: You see, Naiad orbits Neptune in about seven hours. Thalassa orbits Neptune in about seven hours and thirty minutes. So they're quite close. Naiad's orbit is tilted by about 5 degrees, which is unusual. In fact, from Thalassa's view, Naiad is making these wavy patterns as it orbits Neptune. And every time Naiad passes Thalassa, the two miss each other. Naiad passes a bit above Thalassa or a bit below Thalassa and the two moons never get as close to each other as they should. Igor has almost tied his skates, but is forced to start over after making a mistake This is a very interesting result, isn't it? Perhaps this resonance game some energy to Naiad and tilted its orbit somewhat resulting in the configuration we see today...
Jon: So who do you think is going first overall?
Igor: not hearing that ...and perhaps this explains the mystery that was first uncovered back in 1989 when Voyager 2 visited Naiad! Naiad's pretty much unknown. We don't know what it's like (neither Thalassa). The best images we have of them are just dots, and one image is smeared due to the orbital motion of these moons as they were rapidly orbiting around Neptune...
After several minutes of talking nonstop about this topic, Igor is still trying to tie his skates. He then loses his train of thought as his attention is diverted to his laces.
Igor: Jon, I don't think I have it yet. Mind helping me out?
Jon literally stops listening to Igor. He watches the TV until he decides to help Igor up. Igor regains his train of thought and starts talking about Neptunian moons again.
Jon: It is kind of a big draft I think. Some good players may come from this draft.
Igor: a bit shocked and somewhat disoriented Huh, what were we talking about? Is one of the players named Naiad?
Jon: What? Err no. Well maybe. A player called Oleg Igorevich Burov exists in the draft I think. A goalie. Sadly expected to play for that shitty Anchorage Armada team we always used to destroy when we played them. You know, that god awful team. He looks pretty good but goalies seem to drop quite a bit it seems....
Igor: Also my skates. Tried tying them as per our agreement, still not entirely sure what I'm doing. I need some help, bud.
Jon looks down at Igor's skates, clearly untied. He sighs heavily.
Jon: Listen, I'm not tying your fucking laces forever! You ought to learn to tie them on your own for your own safety! In fact, you'll learn today! I'm not tying them anymore!
Igor approaches Jon
Igor: Dude, harsh. You know I can't tie them.
Jon grabs the laces of Igor's left skate
Jon: Grab these. Pull. Then this goes there. Hold this. Grab that. Jon manipulates the laces in ways that Igor can't understand.
Igor: Wait, slow down, Jon. What goes where?
Jon: Come on man! You have as much chance of learning this as the Kelowna Knights do of drafting that goalie I was on about!
Igor: Please, start over. I have no idea what you're doing.
Jon: Fine. I'll do it again. See? Untied. I hope you're watching. To start off, do this. Then you want to do this. Hold this while doing this. Now you want to do this. Then take all of this and pull. If you forget anything else, just do this. See what I did there? Now do it on your other skate. By the way, do you remember how many picks the Whalers have?
Igor: Shut up! I'm trying to focus on what you're doing!
Igor attempts.
Igor: Easy enough.
Jon: Now grab this and take the other one and do this... distracted that damn player, why the hell did he get drafted?! and then grab this and pull.
Igor: Er... you do this?
Jon: I showed you what to do!
Igor: No, as in, this is not working. I swear Jon, I'm doing everything you told me to do.
Jon: You aren't! Also, what about Anchorage?
Igor: Please. Help.
Jon: Seriously, how did you get drafted with untied skates?!
Igor: Jon, just tie them and we can get this over with and we'll get back to training.
Jon: You're going to learn to tie your fucking skates today on your own. No matter what. Even if it takes 20 hours to learn, we're going to be here for 20 hours.
about three and a half hours later of Igor trying to learn and Jon getting distracted and talking about the draft
Jon: Now try it on your own, Igor. I'm not helping unless you fail.
Igor tries for about four minutes. He ties one of his skates successfully, but he doubts himself.
Igor: Wait, is this how it's supposed to be?
Jon: Ugh, finally. I spent three and a half HOURS handling your skate laces and as a result I've almost missed the start of the draft. If this would have gone on any longer, I would have. sarcastically Thanks, Igor. It actually would have been faster to just tie them for you, jeez.
Jon reflects on just how dumb Igor is and how long it took
Jon: No wonder you wanted me to tie them back then. Jeez. From now on, you're on your own. Don't come back to me and waste my time. Now tie the other skate on your own. I need to get back to the draft. We were talking about Oleg three hours ago?
Igor: finishes tying his other skate I mean, I'd love to trash him but I want to get to know him more before I do.
Jon: Oh I do not know anything about him. I just think he may go really high in this draft.
Igor: Hey Jon, thanks for teaching me. I always have severe problems with them... think I'll be okay now. Anyway, Oleg. He's Russian. I'm Russian. We'll get along very well in Team Russia.
Jon: Next time you are doing your skates by yourself. I'm not taking three hours to teach you again! Go on bloody goddamn YouTube if you need to! But that is true. He could be pretty damn good for you guys when he finishes playing in the minor leagues.
Igor: Yep. Igor hugs Jon I know you don't like it too much, but it's just a thing I do to my close friends.
Jon just takes the hug. He seems to be really focused on this coverage even though he has no chance of ever understanding what is being said on it.
Jon: Oh here is a dude who might go really high in the draft. Borderline first pick material. His name is Simonothy Drunkebird! A centre! Could actually be 1 of the better people overall in the draft I feel if he wants it enough and shows up.
Igor yawns and starts to ignore Jon. He gets back to his training routine on the ice.
Jon Forty-One just starts to follow him about but he is just kinda looking at the stats they are showing about him.
Jon: I am pretty glad this guy will not be going second round. Nor to the Whalers most likely. Though trading could happen.
Igor: absent-mindedly Yeah, yeah, yeah... Jon! shoots the puck in the direction of Jon
Jon just looks up at this puck coming at him and he stops it with his skate and picks it up and throws it gently in his pathway.
Jon: Do not worry I got you buddy. Oh shit, they are showing stuff about Casimir Blasc...Casimir Blaszc...Casimir Blasblahamaryk. Yeah him! He could be really good too. Probably the best D man in the draft class already in my opinion so I am safe on that as well. Hey, didn't we also have a Casimir on our team? What the fuck happened to that guy?
Igor: growing angrier as he hears this, eventually snapping WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT HIM!!!
Igor: whispers to Jon His name is cursed here!
Jon genuinely looks confused. He just does not remember.
Jon: Casimir is cursed? Huh. Who knew a Voldemort lived in Minnesota...
Igor: whispering to Jon That guy there - you know who - he was the guy who wrecked havoc on our team!
Jon: Oh shit the other great goalie! Daichi Franci--Daichi Fran...God what the hell is it with these names... A goalie called Daichi! He looks pretty solid too. I hope the Vancouver Whalers do not get him.
Igor: Daichi. Japan will get him. Sounds Japanese.
Igor: Anyone else?
Jon scratches his head I thought Geoff was called Geoff not Casimir...Huh. I really do not know much about these teams. and yeah he probably is. They do need players. I remember the Swiss trying to get me once.
Igor: Geoff? Geoff Moore? That's one of our current managers. He's awesome. Geoff - good. The other guy - awful. C is for that guy and cursed. C is Cursed. Geoff is G, Good. That's how you can tell who is who.
Jon just doesn't get this at this point
Jon: I am going to go and watch this I will see you later. Thanks for training.
Igor: Eh, yeah. I'm done with my routine anyway. Just going to need you to assist me with my sneakers and we'll we good to go, bud.
Jon: You're on your own for your sneakers as well! Consider it extra practice!
Igor: sighs Fair enough, Jon. Igor starts tying them. I'll get you a pina colada, as promised. Just let me get finished with this. Igor has semi-decently tied his sneakers - could be much better, but could be worse. He then hugs Jon.
Igor: Yep. I'll go and get you a pina colada after this, as promised earlier. Then we'll go.
Igor orders it, and then he gives it to Jon. At this moment, his sneakers untie. He gestures to Jon to help tie them but Jon insists on watching the draft. He mutters something about Igor needing more practice on his own before he'll step in.

***ProjectSaint*** · 11-16-2019, 03:51 AM

Oh boy, when Jon finds out about the rest of the Franciszeks joining the SHL.......

TheHockeyist · 11-16-2019, 09:18 AM

Okay, I meant to post this in the minor league forums, but I didn't. :-/. Habit I guess. I never write anything on the minor leagues and I was tired.

C9Van · 11-16-2019, 10:45 AM

Confirming 50/50 split on x2 media

Evok · 11-16-2019, 11:02 AM

11-16-2019, 10:45 AMC9Van Wrote: Confirming 50/50 split on x2 media

C9 not even talking about me for the draft RIPPEEE

C9Van · 11-16-2019, 12:48 PM

11-16-2019, 11:02 AMEvok Wrote:
11-16-2019, 10:45 AMC9Van Wrote: Confirming 50/50 split on x2 media

C9 not even talking about me for the draft RIPPEEE

You're in the SHL draft but I will talk about your new character if you want.

Jon however is more fixated on the minors 1 since it includes the Raiders' 2nd round to Vancouver. Apparently he still cares about his replacement :O

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