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StamkosFan · 02-05-2020, 07:35 PM

Hello everyone, welcome to the SHL state of the Union, where we talk about things that are very relevant to this league and everything major that's going down. This will be my first article in awhile and we are going to make it spicy. Today, we launch a little experiment here in the SHL media; I just want to prove a point. After hearing recently that graders do not read articles, I wanted to push the limits and see if I can get credit for an article that has absolutely nothing to do with hockey. And I mean nothing, not even a barely coherent tie in. In fact, it’s not even going to make sense or have any sort of logical flow. It’s not like I didn’t say it, it’s right in the first paragraph. I don’t even care if I get any money I just want to see what happens.

To start off, we’ll talk about fruits that are green. First you have limes, a citrus fruit, then you have sour apples (of course apples can be red too), you have unripened bananas being green, and you have green grapes. Watermelon can be argued to be green, at least on the outside, there’s the sneaky green tomatoes (tomatoes are a fruit, there’s the ever popular avocado, and then there are some less popular fruits like kiwis, pears, and honeydew. It’s more than you think and would make a good family feud question.

Next, you have things that are a mess at the moment. Coronavirus is a mess, containment is failing, panic is spreading, and hundreds are dead. There’s a global emergency and WHO is doing nothing. The Iowa caucuses are a mess at the time of writing they still aren’t done. Typical government technology fail. That’s why you don’t put boomers in charge of websites.
Did you know that there’s 108 stitches on a baseball? Now you do. Let me quote some of my favorite song lyrics….I’ve become so numb I can feel you there I’ve become so tired so much more aware by becoming this all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you. Miss you Chester!
Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he’s dead. Mama life had just begun but now I’ve gone and thrown it all away. Freddie the Legend.
I walk a lonely road the only one that I have ever known, don’t know where it goes, but it’s home to me and I walk alone……ah ah, ah ah, ah ah. I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams when the city sleeps and I’m the only one and I walk alone. I walk alone I walk a, my shadow’s the only one that walks beside me, my shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating. Sometimes I wish someone up there will find me, til then I walk alone. Hella Mega is going to be the tour of the year.

Now to close off, I am still unsure if anyone over 15 uses TikTok. Everyone I know that uses it is under 15 so we will see. And does anyone under 30 still uses Facebook? Facebook is the new MySpace. Orange is the new black. The San Francisco 49ers are choke artists. California has way too many sports teams and their houses are way too expensive. I don’t know who would live there or New York just insane prices.

If I somehow get credit for this article it’s a really sad commentary on the state of grading. Please do not tell them, this is important to see if the quality of our writing even matters. Feel free to comment “Nice article Stammer” or something to make it looks normal to a copy paste of the word count and a skim. As I was saying, let's do that hockey. Stammer out.