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wumaduce · 07-19-2020, 05:03 PM

Every season, Derek Bohne Jr tries to take at least one new draft prospect on his team out for a dinner or a night on the town. Usually it's a pretty good way to show the new kid around, help him feel more comfortable with the city he'll be calling home soon, and just help him be more at home when he gets called up to the major leagues for the first time. That's the plan, at least. This time is a little different for Bohne, being that he was just traded to Baltimore and was trying to unpack his TV and get it set up in time to watch the draft. Unfortunately, he missed the first round where Baltimore drafted future star Teddy Park. By the time the TV was set up and the draft was on, Bohne managed to watch with joy as the Baltimore Platoon drafted a kid from Colorado, Lord Raiden. Bohne was familiar with Raiden, as he spent a lot of time talking to the players and staff of the minor league team that he had come up through. As soon as the draft was over, he decided to reach out to Raiden and shot him a text.

"Hey man, congratulations on getting drafted to Baltimore! I tried to put in a good word for you, but apparently it wasn't needed. I'm working on getting the rest of my stuff unpacked and set up, maybe you can fly up and we can check out the city together this weekend."

In the grand scheme of things, a text message as innocent and straight forward as that usually wouldn't be a big deal. Go out, grab some food, a couple beers, then the next day start helping the kid find a place to live when he gets called up. No one would have ever thought different. Baltimore, Bohne, and Raiden had never been together before.
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It was the Friday after the draft, around 3pm at Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport. Bohne was waiting for Raiden's flight on United UA 256, a beautiful Airbus A320, to land. Everything showed that the flight left Denver International Airport (editors side note: have you ever looked at all the conspiracy theories that exist around that airport? Wow.) on a direct flight to Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport. The flight departed Denver International Airport at 10am, and was scheduled to land at Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport at approximately 3:28pm local time. Bohne was waiting, playing Realm Grinder on his phone, and checking the screen to see if the flight had landed yet. 3:28 came and went. Bohne didn't pay much attention. 3:30... 3:35... 3:45... Finally, at 3:52pm the flight landed. It took another few minutes for the plane to taxi, and another few minutes for Raiden to emerge from the plane. After getting Raiden's luggage, the dynamic duo was ready to head to Bohne's house. Bohne figured Raiden could crash there for the trip, might as well give the kid a chance to relax for the next few days.

Bohne helped the kid carry his luggage out to the car, and as they were loading up the new Tesla Model S that Bohne had just bought with his signing money, Raiden stopped for a second and appeared to have something to say. After a brief pause, he continued to load the luggage (he's here for a weekend, how many bags did you need to bring?) before the two drove off to the house that Bohne was renting in Annapolis. The roughly 30 minute drive gave the pair a chance to catch up about news from Colorado, talk about their excitement for playing in Baltimore, and Bohne confessed how the trade from Manhattan sparked his interest in the league again. Raiden also had a confession to make - "Hey man, uh, I really appreciate you taking the time to bring me out here and show me around... Do, uh, you know I grew up in Washington DC? Like, seriously, this is really awesome of you to do and I have so much respect for what you're doing here, but... I mean... You just got here. Why don't you let me show you some places?"

And just like that, the whole story changed.
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After they got back to the rental property Bohne was staying at, Raiden unloaded the car and the duo got ready for a night out. Bohne figured they'd grab some food, hit up a bar or two for a couple of beers, and then head back to prepare for the rest of the weekend. Raiden, already having plans on where he'd be living, decided to show Bohne what Baltimore was really like. Unfortunately for Bohne, it was only Friday night.
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The first stop of the night was at a microbrewery called The Heavy Seas Brewery. Bohne isn't a super big fan of the beer in today's world, but if it's fresh it's always better. Raiden apparently knew this place very well, as he ordered one of those sampler glasses right when he walked in. Bohne looked at all the IPA and Double IPA choices they had and was getting slightly overwhelmed, before he found the Peg Leg Imperial Stout. You can never go wrong with a good stout or porter. Everything was going fine and dandy, Raiden was pounding the beers back, Bohne had a couple but switched to water since he was driving (always have a designated driver, don't drink and drive!)

As Raiden went up to get another sampler, there was some commotion at the bar. Knowing his companion was slightly on the intoxicated size, Bohne worked his way up to the bar to find someone shoving Raiden.

The man shoved Raiden and looked down at the ground while shouting, "those were 500 dollar sunglasses, asshole! Do you even know who I am? I'm John Kage! I'm famous! I've starred in more movies than you've ever heard of!"

This guy was pissed. Raiden tried to defuse the situation, but it became clear the guy only wanted to fight. As John Kage charged him, Raiden surprised everyone by doing a flying dive directly into the man's midsection. The momentum of Raiden's attack knocked John Kage backwards into a table and spilled two pitchers of beer onto him and the ground. Almost as if he was the God of Thunder, Lord Raiden grabbed an extension cord and shoved it into the puddle, electrocuting the movie star. Onlookers were both stunned and scared, no one knew what the hell just happened. Bohne realized that there was a chance to escape, so he grabbed Raiden and slipped out the back door.
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Back in the car, Bohne had no idea what to say. He stumbled, stuttered, and stammered. Lord Raiden just buckled his seat belt and told him the next place they should go.

"Oh, he'll be fine. He had a pulse, I didn't kill him. I just bumped into the guy, I mean I'm sorry about the sunglasses, but what the hell man? Dude tried to punch me in the balls. Who even does that?" Raiden went on and on as Bohne continued to drive to the next place.

"Man, I'm glad you're on my team. Holy shit," Bohne finally mustered the courage to say something.
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As Bohne parked for the next destination, he had a dreadful realization - Raiden gave him an address for his GPS, not the name of the place. It was another bar. Raiden burst out laughing, "oh buddy, I love this place! Have you never heard of Max's Taphouse? Ooh boy, you're in for some fun times!"

Bohne could feel his heart stop. After the incident with John Kage, he didn't know why to expect from Raiden's next hand picked bar. Maybe it'll go better. Right? It can't get much worse.
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"I don't know what's going on here. I never remember a line to get in here. I'm not waiting in this. I'm gonna go talk to the bouncer." (oh... Oh no...) Raiden stormed off to the front of the line. Bohne considered heading back to the car, but before he could make a decision he heard more commotion.

Bohne ran up to the front of the line and found Raiden and the bouncer chest to chest screaming at each other. "I really don't give a shit that you're the bouncer, Jack S! Is that even your real name? Let me and my buddy in this club, we're famous!"

The bouncer had enough of Raiden's dramatics. He punched the rookie in the face and stunned him long enough for Bohne to pull his friend away from the club. As they walked away, Bohne heard Raiden try to muffle a sneeze and almost crapped his pants as a lightning bolt hit the road behind him where they just came from. Screams could be heard from the club that they had just departed from, but Raiden just kept walking.
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Bohne was getting some bad vibes about how the rest of this night was going to go. Raiden wanted to stop at a 7/11 to grab some water and chips for the drive to the next bar. Bohne didn't even want to get out of the car.

"Look, Raiden, I don't want to offend you... Especially after what I've seen tonight... I think I'm just gonna head home though. This has turned into a crazy night. Maybe tomorrow we can just try and find you a place to live, without like... Killing people..."

And with that, Bohne Jr called it a night. Raiden thanked him for a great time, and was excited about more outings as the dynamic duo.

The end.

Jumbobone19 · 07-19-2020, 10:07 PM

[Image: tumblr_mok26njvIA1rtpc8io5_250.gif]

LordBirdman · 07-20-2020, 10:45 AM

Wow, the adventures of Bohne and Raiden are something I didn't know I needed in my life until just now.

Also, Raiden to the onlookers of the bar:

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[Image: ?u=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia...f=1&nofb=1]

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