It was a hell of 3 days out here for cudas fucking trella was getting under ages beer before the game and we wernt quite sure how it would go. Dwight was busy getting half the team there healing Crystal's so we could meditate on the flat earth. Even after all that Narnia stuff got done we still had time to get our mother fucking shine on with a 7'-3 dub over new England and every bit if clam chowder the northern hemisphere could muster. Panda pancio had a 100 game rating in offence and new England fans had a 100000 rating in annoyance it was an awesome way to start the sim. In between we yelled fuck the penaltys and did a seyonce for the lost continent of Atlantis. Next we faced philly and well we showed them who's boss in a hard fought game that went to ot before we once again fucked the penaltys. It was at this point I was like YO FHN ON THE MAP FAM i quickly went about telling the boys how all we have to do is CAPS LOCK IN THE STREAM AND WE WILL WIN. finnaly we headed out to Edmonton home of the Rice cake and future home of the post nuclear winter hand taco.here we showed again that Tampa can do more then score as we secured another 2 to 1 win on the back of Terry bradshaws ghost it was a swell day to be a cuda oh yea and fitted is number 1 fantasy player so as my dad use to say put your foot in the fridge or else the toilet is hungry. Thanks for coming out today FUCK THE PENALTYS TERRY BRADSHAWS GHOST WILL LEAD US TO VICTORY

2x 4Star Cup Champ s49 s50

1x commissioners excellence award s 50

Some of your best work

Thanks to @karey and @JSS for the sigs!

Teddy Cuddles  |  RW  | Edmonton Blizzard | Hall of Fame
Player Type : Two Way Forward
Height: 6'5" | Weight: 220 lbs | Age: 19
Number: 79
Birthplace: Providence, Rhode Island, USA
--------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Season Stats :
S35 | STL | GP:28 | G:2 | A:1 | P:3 | PIMs:5 | HIT:7 | Shots:25 | +/-:-4
S36 | STL | GP:50 | G:10 | A:10 | P:20 | PIMs:5 | HIT:97 | Shots:88 | +/-:-1
S37 | STL | GP:50 | G:13 | A:27 | P:40 | PIMs:56 | HIT:120| Shots:146 | +/-:+10
S38 | EDM | GP:50 | G:6 | A:7 | P:13 | PIMs:62 | HIT:114 | Shots:83 | +/-:-18
S39 | EDM | GP:50 | G:7 | A:15 | P:22 | PIMs:36 | HIT:161 | Shots:78 | +/-:-10
S40 | EDM | GP:50 | G:13 | A:29 | P:42 | PIMs:46 | HIT:197 | Shots:109 | +/-:+7
S41 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:17 | P:34 | PIMs:49 | HIT:143 | Shots:121 | +/-:-4
S42 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:24 | P:41 | PIMs:52 | HIT:135 | Shots:132 | +/-:+9
S43 | EDM | GP:50 | G:14 | A:23 | P:37 | PIMs:24 | HIT:121 | Shots:121 | +/-:-2
S44 | EDM | GP:50 | G:21 | A:32 | P:53 | PIMs:28 | HIT:131 | Shots:214 | +/-:+19
S45 | EDM | GP:50 | G:13 | A:24 | P:37 | PIMs:51 | HIT:170 | Shots:185 | +/-:+9
S46 | EDM | GP:50 | G:29 | A:31 | P:60 | PIMs:53 | HIT:152 | Shots:195 | +/-:+9
S47 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:33 | P:50 | PIMs:46 | HIT:182 | Shots:199 | +/-:+8
S48 | EDM | GP:50 | G:22 | A:23 | P:45 | PIMs:26 | HIT:182 | Shots:210 | +/-:+7
S49 | EDM | GP:50 | G:20 | A:25 | P:45 | PIMs:36 | HIT:149 | Shots:208 | +/-:+1
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Post Season Stats :
S35 | STL | GP:7 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | PIMs:0 | HIT:2 | Shots:4 | +/-:+1
S36 | STL | GP:6 | G:1 | A:1 | P:2 | PIMs:7 | HIT:14 | Shots:12 | +/-:+3
S37 | STL | GP:13 | G:4 | A:5 | P:9 | PIMs:26 | HIT:26 | Shots:30 | +/-:+7
S38 | EDM | Did not qualify
S39 | EDM | GP:7 | G:3 | A:3 | P:6 | PIMs:4 | HIT:18 | Shots:10 | +/-:+1
S40 | EDM | GP:7 | G:1 | A:6 | P:7 | PIMs:4 | HIT:33 | Shots:15 | +/-:+2
S41 | EDM | GP:7 | G:2 | A:3 | P:5 | PIMs:12 | HIT:15 | Shots:15 | +/-:+1
S42 | EDM | GP:11 | G:5 | A:8 | P:13 | PIMs:10 | HIT:25 | Shots:38 | +/-:+1
S43 | EDM | Did not Qualify
S44 | EDM | GP:11 | G:4 | A:7 | P:11 | PIMs:12 | HIT:31 | Shots:42 | +/-:+3
S45 | EDM | GP:18 | G:7 | A:11 | P:18 | PIMs:24 | HIT:56 | Shots:68 | +/-:+8
S46 | EDM | GP:4 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | PIMs:2 | HIT:9 | Shots:11 | +/-:-5
S47 | EDM | GP:6 | G:3 | A:2 | P:5 | PIMs:6 | HIT:24 | Shots:25 | +/-:+2
S48 | EDM | GP:5 | G:2 | A:2 | P:4 | PIMs:0 | HIT:11 | Shots:19 | +/-:0
S49 | EDM | GP:23 | G:7 | A:17 | P:24 | PIMs:18 | HIT:76 | Shots:89 | +/-:-2
--------------------------------------------------------------
Awards and Achievements:
S37 | STL Kanye Summers Award for Regular Season Team MVP
S37 | STL Bradley Wingels Award for Best Forward
S40 | Gold Medal Winner
S40 | Aidan Richan Trophy Winner
S44 | Became 4th player in Edmonton Blizzard History to reach 1000 Hits
S45 | Challenge Cup Champion
S45 | Anton Razov Trophy for Playoff MVP
S45 | Silver Medal Winner
S46 | 1st Team All Star
S46 | Sarmad Kahn Nominee
S46 | Jef Darr Nominee
S47 | Jef Darr Nominee
S49 | Challenge Cup Champion
S49 | Anton Razov Nominee
--------------------------------------------------------------
Draft/Signing/Trade History:
S35 | Signed to STL
S36 | Drafted to Calgary 26th overall
S36 | Traded to Edmonton


Ambacas “Femboy Hooters” Cuddles | D | Tampa Bay Barracuda

Former USA Fed Head, Carolina Kraken Co-GM, Tampa Bay Barracuda GM

masterpiece

pingy pingu news network seal of approval

"Bring back Pingy Pingu Lunga Gumba esq. And I mean bring him all the way back. I want every thread on this forum that involves even a modicum of salt to get razed to the ground by our most notorious shitposting penguin. I want every thunderdome to drown in ABAGABA spam and a signature that doesn't end. I want the userbase of this fine league to cower in terror, slinking about the forums and making as little noise as possible for fear of attracting the Shitpost Slenderman. When some poor immigrant from the NFL sim blunders into the forum and makes an angry post about how his player slipped to the early second round despite having done ALL the rookie tasks(!), let the veteran survivalists stare in horror and pity while the newbie rages. They will know it is only a matter of time before @Pingy Pingu descends upon his post like a ravening wolf and obliterates his tread, reducing it to a radioactive waste-dump of unintelligible spam. They will not interfere, for Pingy is our immune system. Because he can take it. Our Dark Knight of Shitposting"

Sig credit to @WannabeFinn @JSS @Mordaciious @Mayuu @TommySalami
                                              Falcons banner credit to @karey

Solid fucking gold

[S69] Tiberius Kane | Left Wing | GFG | 473 TPE
S67: WJC Silver
S68: Drafted 3rd Overall to GFG
S68: Drafted 14th Overall to TEX
S69: WJC Bronze


[S67] Nichael Fitted + [S64] Backup Goaltender


[S50] Tom Fiddler | Two-Way Center | Peak 2006 TPE | RETIRED

Drafted 4th round, 34th overall in S49 SMJHL Entry Draft
Drafted 2nd round, 24th overall in S50 SHL Entry Draft
Traded to Tampa Bay for a ham sandwich in S52

* = First Place

 Career Stats    |  GP |  G  |  A  | P    | +/-  |  Hit  |  SB  |    Sh  |  GA |  TK
 SHL  Regular    | 657 | 144 | 284 | 428 | -213 | 777 | 1013 | 1520 | 292 | 393
 SHL Playoffs    |  39    | 5   |  14 |  19  | -16  | 63  |    52  |          |        |       
 IIHF Regular    | 168 | 19  |  45  |  64 |  7   | 153 |    90  |          |        |       



SHL Regular Season Stats
Szn  |Team| GP | G |  A  | P    |  +/-  |  TOI | Hit | SB | Sh | PIM
S53 | TBB |  50 | 5  | 15 | 20| -24| 17:16  |  46 | 77 | 56 | 10
S54 | TBB |  45 | 1  | 10 | 11 | -80 | 18:35 |  60 | 171  | 55 | 17
S55 | TBB |  50 | 1  | 19 | 20 | -56 | 18:37 |  31 | 86    | 82 | 14
S56 | TBB |  50 | 5  | 15 | 20 | -35 | 19:22 |  34 | 112 | 101| 20
S57 | TBB |  66 | 14 | 32 | 46 | -26 | 24:48 | 64 |100  |152 | 20
S58 | TBB |  66 | 29 | 40 | 69 | -2  | 25:59  |100| 74 |180 | 20
S59 | TBB |  66 | 19 | 39 | 58 | -3  | 25:33  |105| 95 |188 | 14
S60 | TBB |  66 | 23 | 23 | 46 | 4  | 22:33  | 66  | 50  |159 | 26
S61 | TBB |  66 | 10 | 35 | 45 | 12 | 22:17  | 98  | 72  |182 | 20
S62 | TBB |  66 | 16 | 23 | 39 | -2  | 20:23  |104 | 57  |183 | 4
S63 | TOR | 66 | 21 | 33 | 54 | -1  |  20:29  | 69  |119  |182 | 39



SHL Playoff Stats
Szn  |Team| GP | G |  A  | P  |  +/- |  TOI  | Hit | SB | Sh | PIM
S59 | TBB |  5    | 1 |  1 |  2  |  -6  | 22:11  | 10  |  5  | 12  |  0 
S60 | TBB |  4    | 0 |  0 |  0  |  -6  | 22:49  |  8  |  1 |  7   | 0 
S61 | TBB |  13  | 1 |  9 | 10  |  0  | 21:06  | 17  | 13 | 29  | 0 
S62 | TBB |  12  | 1 |  3 |  4  |  -4 | 20:01  | 20  | 18 | 24  | 2
S63 | TOR |  5    | 2 |  1 |  3  |  0  | 21:16  |  8  | 15 | 15  |0 


SMJHL Career | GP: 200| G: 36 | A: 102 | P: 138 | +/-: 42
SMJHL Playoff Career | GP: 52| G: 9 | A: 23 | P: 32 | +/-: 5

SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S49 | MTL | GP: 50 | G: 3 | A: 16 | P: 19 | +/-: 2 | FO%: 42.43% | FOT: 898
S50 | CAR | GP: 50 | G: 6 | A: 15 | P: 21 | +/-: -6 | FO%: 50.93% | FOT: 1237
S51*| CAR | GP: 50 | G: 11 | A: 38 | P: 49 | +/-: 24 | FO%: 53.08% | FOT: 1313
S52 | CAR | GP: 50 | G: 16 | A: 33 | P: 49 | +/-: 22 | FO%: 53.33% | FOT: 1202

SMJHL Playoff Stats
S49*| MTL | GP: 17 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: 5 | FO%: 51.96% | FOT: 433
S50*| CAR | GP: 18 | G: 4 | A: 5 | P: 9 | +/-: 5 | FO%: 50.28% | FOT: 356
S51  | CAR | GP:  6 | G: 2 | A: 2 | P: 4 | +/-: -1| FO%: 47.68% | FOT: 151
S52  | CAR | GP:  11 | G: 1 | A: 9| P: 10 | +/-: -4| FO%: 51.34% | FOT: 261

Awards
S49 Four Star Cup
S50 Four Star Cup
S51 Laurifer Trophy
S51 Petr Klimek Award for the Best Two-Way Player with Joseph Weston
S52 Honorary 3-way Laurifer Paricipation Trophy
S52 Alternate Captain of Carolina
S52 Petr Klimek Award for the Best Two-Way Player with Joseph Weston
S52 Kurtis Hunter Award for Team's Choice MVP
S52 IIHF Gold Medal
S53 IIHF Bronze Medal
S54 The Winless Season
S54 IIHF Silver Medal
S55 IIHF Gold Medal
S56 IIHF Silver Medal
S57 IIHF Silver Medal
S58 IIHF Silver Medal
S60 IIHF Silver Medal
S61 IIHF GoldMedal


IIHF Federation Head - Great Britain
S56: Silver
S57: Silver
S58: Silver
S59: DNQ
S60: Silver
S61: Gold
S62: DNQ
S68: Lost 1st Round
S69: Bronze


Fuck the penaltys
ARGARGARHARG