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S67 PT #0: Advice
#1
(This post was last modified: 09-12-2022, 12:03 AM by leviadan. Edited 1 time in total.)

Please pick ONE prompt to write about. Do not mix and match prompts. Identify the prompt you are using in your submission - Copying and pasting the prompt will deduct from your word count so if you do this make sure YOUR submission is 150+ words excluding the prompt.

PLAYER PROMPT - As the new season comes up fast, team rosters are starting to get set in stone. There might be some new faces around that you've never seen before! Whether it's a veteran joining a new team, or a rookie fresh from the SMJHL, everyone could use a word of advice from time to time! 

Written Task: Tell me what advice your player would give to someone new to your locker room! Do they need to know what players to steer clear of? Maybe a secret way to get the best snacks in your break room? What knowledge would your player have that could help out the people around you? Whether you're a grizzled vet or a brand new call up, you've definitely got something you can help people out with. Even if it isn't hockey related! (150+ words)

Graphic Task: Show me your player pointing out something in the locker room that a new person needs to be aware of.

CREATIVE PROMPT- Hockey don't pay like it used to! You find yourself picking up part-time work at your local newspaper, and somehow you've landed the advice column! This week the letter you have to respond to is... strange. 

Written Task:  Give an advice column style response to this person's submission! Will you actually be helpful? Who cares! Nobody reads the local paper anymore! You can answer however you like! 

Quote:"Hey advice column! I'll cut right to the chase because frankly, this is urgent. I have 60+ live horseshoe crabs in my car, just sort of scuttling and wriggling around in there. I cannot get them out. The car is an '09 Camaro. It's a beautiful car but it is full of crabs. When I try to open the door, they band together and hold it closed. They are too strong. One time they rolled down the window and beckoned me over-- when I stuck my head in, they snipped me on the nose and rolled it back up! Now my nose is big and red. It is a nightmare. What can I do? Signed: Crab Camaro in Concord, NH."

(150+ words)

Graphic Task: Show your player dealing with the crab problem.

You will receive 3 TPE for fulfilling all requirements.

All responses are due on Sunday, September 18th at 11:59 PST. NOTE: IF YOU SUBMIT/EDIT AFTER THE DEADLINE YOU WILL RECEIVE REDUCED/NO TPE.

Affiliate claims from either PBE or ISFL or WSLB or SSL are accepted; link directly to your post and note if your username is different there.
If you have any questions/concerns, please PM me. Tasks with malicious intent will not be graded. The graders reserve the right to determine malicious intent, after discussion with me. You will not be warned.

This task is for SHL players and send downs only, it is not for SMJHL rookies.

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#2

Answering for the player prompt:

Vaseline Podcalzone, a hard and seasoned veteran of the Seattle Argonauts, would tell a rookie of the organization to enjoy every single moment of their time in the Simulation Hockey League.

Time goes by quickly in the SHL. It feels like in the blink of an eye, a rookie player could soon be facing the daunting task that is regression. In a moment, they are but a simple rookie breaking into the league, and then the next, they are expected to step up and perform as a top line contributor towards the team. In a moment, they go from young blood, just shy of 1000 TPE, to a player pushing for 2000 TPE against the wheel of time, which forever turns on and on and on.

In that one moment, Vaseline Podcalzone would tell a rookie to enjoy their time. The rookie season is unlike any other. It gets easier from there, but there truly is something magical about those first 66 games in the SHL.

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#3
(This post was last modified: 09-19-2022, 12:09 AM by hockeyiscool. Edited 2 times in total.)

Wow, it takes me back. If I were just entering the league again and I were to give myself advice on things going forward is. Don't worry about the quality of your skating in the beginning of your career. have fun, there will be plenty of time to improve your skating and agility. Instead focus on maintaining balance. Keeping balance is arguably one of the best things you can do on and off the ice. On the ice keeping full balanced makes you an immovable force to be reckoned with. Off the ice it allows you to continue to grow as a person instead of being a meat head doofus all the time. I would have said stay clear of that Justin keahi guy, he will put you in the dirt.  if he were on the opposite team but when he is on your team he will make you look so much better than anyone else. Fortunately we are in a new era of the league and the goons seem to be a relic of the past. Even though they were fun for all the fans.
#4

The main piece of advice I'd give someone in our locker room is to just always work hard and don't let the day to day doldrums get you down. It's a long season and everybody is going to have ups and have downs, but the key is that you just always do the best you can and don't get down on yourself. There will be times when you have a bad stretch of games and feel like you're letting the team down, but the longer you dwell on that the worse you'll play and the worse it'll be for the team. Just trust your teammates and know that when you're not firing on all cylinders, your teammates have your back and they'll be there to pick you up time and time again. The other thing I'd tell you is not to eat the pizza at the training facility on Tuesdays. Just trust me on that one, you don't want to be spending the next six hours with lava in your insides.

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#5

Creative Prompt

Well for starters, your first mistake is living in New Hampshire. Really? The state whose biggest iconography is a rock formation that kinda sorta looked like an old man that fell down two decades ago? Sorry, my Vermont side showed again...

Honestly I have nothing to offer to solve the problem beyond "get out of New Hampshire," so instead please accept a few fun facts about horseshoe (since there is no such thing as a horse crab to my understanding) crabs. For starters, they're not actually crabs, they're actually chelicerates, who are closer to arachnids such as spiders or scorpions. Their closest relatives are ricinulei, which are actually spiders. They also bleed blue blood - not like the human myth of "blood is blue until it breaks the skin, no, it's actually blue. Fossil records go back nearly half a billion years and they are arguably living fossils! And of course, they are the inspiration for the Kabuto line from the Pokemon series.

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#6
(This post was last modified: 09-12-2022, 12:19 AM by JamesT. Edited 1 time in total.)

Code:
Written Task:  Give an advice column style response to this person's submission! Will you actually be helpful? Who cares! Nobody reads the local paper anymore! You can answer however you like!

Quote:Quote:

"Hey advice column! I'll cut right to the chase because frankly, this is urgent. I have 60+ live horse crabs in my car, just sort of scuttling and wriggling around in there. I cannot get them out. The car is an '09 Camaro. It's a beautiful car but it is full of crabs. When I try to open the door, they band together and hold it closed. They are too strong. One time they rolled down the window and beckoned me over-- when I stuck my head in, they snipped me on the nose and rolled it back up! Now my nose is big and red. It is a nightmare. What can I do? Signed: Crab Camaro in Concord, NH."

Hey there Crab Camaro who lives in Concord, NH, this is Ben Jammin from the Chicago syndicate here and I'm here to give my take on how you can handle this situation with the 60+ live horse crabs in your car. What you want to do first is to call the local crab police (Google if the number if you need to as each cities crab police is different), local authorities will shortly arrive and rustle up all the crabs for you and get your car in one piece again!

Now that the crab nightmare is over Crab Camaro, did you know that the S67 SHL season is quickly approaching? We are only a week away until the regular season games begin and I hope to you see you around when the Chicago syndicate take on your team (is there even a SHL team in Concord, NH?) Anywho, if you don't purchase a Ben Jammin hockey jersey, I will personally gather 100+ live horse crabs and find your car and make your previous horse crab situation even worse. Haha, I am just teasing you I would never do such a thing like that. Or would I? 

(196 words)

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#7

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#8

Player Prompt

The advice that Mikko Rashford would give to a new / young player in the SHL is that they shouldn't worry about about anything that happens once or twice.  There are going to be things that happen in games that are out of your control.  Calls will go the other way, the puck will go in the wrong net, the crowd will boo, etc.  Don't fret those things.  They happen to every single player and can happen on literally any single night  of the season.  

Focus on the things you can control, like how you interact with your teammates, how you involve yourself in your new community and fans, how you train and participate in the goals the team is chasing.   These are the things that will bring you long term success, these are the things that you can actually make a difference in.  The things that just happen to you, the minor failures each night when it doesn't go your way, those things will be forgotten the next time the puck drops.

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#9

One of the many lessons I've learned in this league from all of the veteran players is that this league is not a race, it's more of a marathon, it's a lot easier if you just go with the flow and do everything at your own pace. When I got into the league I was such an eager beaver and not that being an eager beaver is a bad thing, it's just a warning because being overly eager can catch up to you and wear you out. So finding a pace that works for you is the best advice I can give, don't sweat yourself out in more words or less, at times things can get overwhelming when you least expect, and if you're not great at handling being overwhelmed then you're gonna burn yourself out and you won't be around for very long. Remember its a marathon, don't tire yourself out to fast or you'll burn out and won't be able to keep up!

165 words

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#10

Player Prompt

Yukon is a tough place to play, especially for a new player coming in. Even more so if the player isn't Canadian, or Scandinavian as the snow and long winter hours can drive a person nuts. Coming back from Calgary's training camp, O'Connall forgot how harsh Yukon can be. Upon arriving for practice (late of course), O'Connall thought he was locked out of the building. Only for Billy Blaze to walk on by, look O'Connall in the eye and open the door. After a swift jiggle of the handle of course. You see, it's the little things like that, that can be a rude awakening . With the area so cold, you have to jiggle the door just the right away or else it seems to be locked. Oh boy, hopefully no rookies saw that. Calgary didn't have that problem O'Connall thought to himself.

Upon arriving inside it was more of the same. Some rookies were in nothing but a jock strap, while others pretty much had their parkas on getting dressed. You see, they picked the wrong stalls to sit in. The ones too close to the shower felt like a sauna meanwhile others had a vent blasting cold air straight down. Ah, good to be back O'Connall thought as he quickly dipped into the coaches office for a quick nip. After all, it only took him one skate last year to find the coaches secret booze stash. I wonder how long it'll take a rookie this year to find it? 

(252 Words)

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#11

Creative Prompt

Hi Crab Camaro, I'm really not sure what the issue is here. You have an incredible business opportunity on your hands. Simply turn your car into a paid attraction and earn enough money to buy a new one. All you have to do is put up some big signs saying "ARE YOU STRONGER THAN 60 HORSESHOE CRABS??? I BET NOT - PROVE ME WRONG!!! WIN A CAR?!?!?! ONLY $4.99 PER ATTEMPT!!!". This sign will attract a wide range of people. Anyone with a fragile ego, a bit of curiosity, or simply the desire to win a $4.99 car will take the bait and test their strength. If the crabs are as powerful as you say they are, then I don't think anyone will have a shot at beating them in prying the door open. Also, if someone does end up winning your car then it'll still be up to them to remove the horseshoe crabs and drive it away. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong.

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#12

Player Prompt

I have plenty of advice for new players on the team. If I'm not mistaken I'm the oldest player on the team and I have been on this team since forever, so there isn't anything I haven't seen. This season we have a handful of new players, both rookie call-ups and players that transferred here from other teams. However, it's one of those rare seasons where I will have a new backup goalie who is also a rookie we drafted some time ago. What I won't tell him about are all the typical pranks the vets will play and it might or might not include surprise shaving cream in his goalie equipment, we will see what happens this time (it's nothing bad, I promise). All the new people WILL receive advice from me how to operate THE best coffee maker in all of the league's locker rooms. And they won't be allowed to use it until they know how to clean it properly.

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#13
(This post was last modified: 09-12-2022, 02:21 AM by Massive Coiler. Edited 1 time in total.)

Player Prompt:

I try to pass on everything I learn from the veterans before me. I like to think that they know what makes the room work, and I try to learn from that and instill it into the rookies' minds. Creative what I hope is a cycle of positivity and respect. Hockey really is a team game, and the true fun of it comes from being involved in a team, and I try to make the team as fun a place as I can, and hopefully encourage rookies to engage in that spirit. I would never let them know who to steer clear of, they can interact with those certain people and figure it out on their own. It's just too funny when you see some fresh faced new guy try to walk up and talk to a giant meathead (who we all love) who is just in their own world. I also am more than happy to give advice on playstyle and training, I feel like I have some decent information in that regard and can offer quite a bit to help push someone in the direction of future success.

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#14
(This post was last modified: 09-12-2022, 03:32 AM by Salming. Edited 1 time in total.)

Player task:

As an experienced player in the Argonauts locker room, my advice for our new players Mihailov, Lilja, Wagner etc. have just been that they should ask anything if they have something to ask and also try feel as comfortable as possible because that helps them to perform better on ice. It is important for new players that they adjust quickly because there are no days to waste in club hockey when building chemistry and of course in international hockey it is even more important but also in club hockey. For new players need to that's why give all the help that they need when coming to a new organisation and in my opinion our new players have slotted nicely to our locker room as a unique persons. But yeah, you don't need to give them any specific tips about best snacks or something like that because it must be stated with signs in the locker room already that where are best snacks because it is important to make everything as easy as possible for new guys so they don't even have to ask those questions.

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#15

Quote:Written Task: Tell me what advice your player would give to someone new to your locker room! Do they need to know what players to steer clear of? Maybe a secret way to get the best snacks in your break room? What knowledge would your player have that could help out the people around you? Whether you're a grizzled vet or a brand new call up, you've definitely got something you can help people out with. Even if it isn't hockey related! (150+ words)

There has been some movement in the Winnipeg Aurora locker room this offseason and prior. The "official" statement from the team is that the moves were needed because of salary cap restrictions imposed by the league. Seems logical but is that the truth? Jarrow doesn't think so.

Spack has noticed a pattern that anytime a player has shown up to the arena wearing Crocs, that they have been traded shortly after. Does management think it is a character flaw? Or just some weird coincidence?

Jarrow has made sure to reach out to all the new teammates to give a heads up about this strange pattern. Although Stan Din'desque never wore Crocs, he did show up wearing socks with sandals which Jarrow speculates could be considered an even worse character flaw than wearing Crocs. Whether or not the Aurora management also share that same opinion, Jarrow isn't sure but where there is smoke...

Teammates have made fun about Spack never wearing any shoes or socks but he isn't taking any chances.

[ 174 words ]

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